Like many families, ours has decidedly been structured around a matriarchal tradition: my mother has been the central figure who has largely held our family together throughout my entire life. From my first moments of mental recognition, I saw that our mother was the person who really ran things in our home. Dad may have gone out to work every day and doled out discipline when we got out of hand, but I saw and understood that the real person in charge was Mom. As such, I never doubted or had any society-skewed view of gender roles in our home. I viewed my parents largely as equals, and if anything the strength and power and charge of our family resided in Mom. If I have any decent recognition of the equality among genders, it’s due to my Mom’s example.
She taught me and my brother many things over the years, molding us into the people we would become, teaching us a certain grace and unassuming humility, mostly because we never saw her engage in ugliness or confrontations or judgment. She took the best of her Catholic faith and lived it rather than preaching or talking about it. Her work as a nurse and later a professor of nursing showed me how we could help others – not by shouting about it or heralding her own efforts, but simply by doing.
It’s a tradition that continues to this day, as she takes care of my father in his advancing age and medical condition, as well as her three grandchildren, to whom she is affectionately known as ‘Lola’. Her two sons are also still largely dependent on her for guidance and strength, as we find our own way as adults. This is her birthday, and while she deserves this sort of recognition every day, I’m putting it into print here to honor her in the only way that I can.
Happy birthday, Mom – we love you!
