Category Archives: Music

Promising

Today marks Madonna’s 65th birthday, and she just announced her re-scheduled tour dates for North America, which moves my August 31 show to the lovely date of January 9, 2024. That jaunty shorts-and-sleeveless-t-shirt look I adopt for all her concerts will likely prove problematic for Boston in January so I’m not sure what I’ll do, or whether I’ll even go. She canceled outright the last time I had tix for her Madame X Tour, so I’m not completely confident she’ll show for this one. 

Anyway, of late my posts have been understandably heavy and serious, and I was trying to be a little more light-hearted with this birthday girl post, but not even Madonna has gone untouched by tragedy, and so I’m posting one of my favorite songs from her – the one that turned me into a super-fan after years of flirtatiously enjoying her music but never quite succumbing to fanaticism. That all changed when I found this song on the ‘Like A Prayer’ album

It feels like a good moment to re-examine it, and it speaks differently to me these days. Before I even knew real tragedy, I felt a kinship with it, an affinity with the darker, shadowy side of things, and as a kid I foolishly cuddled up to it, daring life to afflict me in some way, not understanding how it already was, not realizing how lucky I was just as I was robbing myself of any possible joy I might have had. 

Madonna persevered through her childhood in the aftermath of losing her mother, but she carried that loss with her at every step and turn. It’s one of the underlying layers that has always made her more than just a mainstream pop star to me, more than just a one or fifty-hit wonder. Today is her birthday, and so we honor her for still being here with us, having faced her own brush with mortality recently. 

We need to cherish our icons when they’re with us, not after they’re gone. 

Happy birthday, M. 

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Artist Profile: Julian Abramo

The term ‘musical prodigy’ probably gets thrown around more than it merits, but in the case of Julian Abramo it is absolutely fitting, and still just barely captures his reservoir of talent and creative drive. At just 14 years old, he’s already released an album of original music (the glorious ‘My Bedroom‘ which somehow manages to transcend his short collection of years on this earth in scope and resonance) and started a website to capture his work

I’ve had the privilege of knowing Julian since he was born, and watching him grow into a young person from a distance (and periodic summer visits) has been a joy. It’s also been an eye-opening experience where I continue to be impressed and astounded by how he lives so completely within the realm of music – playing, composing, listening and writing all flow from his creative vision. Such artistry is beautifully embodied by his first collection of songs, which finds his original compositions performed entirely by himself on piano, keyboard, and cello ~ even employing an old organ for one piece. 

Such talent may be genetic, as he comes from two musically-gifted professors: my friends Missy and Joe. We go back many years, and lifelong friends are the best kind of friends. While they have focused on the academic aspects of music, Julian has thus far expressed his talents through performance and composition. It’s been apparent and a part of his life since before he started walking. I remember his parents telling me about how he was responding to sound and creating sound – with tapping and singing – and as he got older and better able to express himself, that inner call to a life of music got louder. 

From a very young age, Julian was performing and involved in music in ways that most adults would find challenging. Having seen firsthand how he can take a piece of music and elevate it beyond what it was, I remain in awe of his musical prowess, and the way he hears things that so many of us simply can’t. The hidden talent of many amazing musicians is the ability to listen – it’s more than just hearing a song over and over; it’s absorbing and taking in a very specific and particular cadence of notes and sounds, of aurally sensing the texture and architecture of a piece, of feeling the intent and emotion behind a musical work. More than that, it’s about how to craft a work in a world where everyone thinks we’ve heard it all before. Just when you are being lulled into the languid piano meanderings of ‘A good day’, the dissonant chords of ‘I’m bored so I watch the sunrise’ creep in to challenge and lend tension to the proceedings. 

‘My Bedroom’ has many such moments, conveying the undulating moods of life through a fourteen-year-old’s windows and walls, somehow capturing what he feels and hears and sees, then transmitting them through musical ruminations both beautiful and moving. Each song becomes something meaningful in myriad ways to different listeners, which is the wonder and magic of well-crafted music.

Julian’s own notes on the tracks of ‘My Bedroom’ are below. Listen/stream the album here, and check out all of his media links here

1. walking outside
This piece is great to kick off the album. It creates a happy, exciting, and friendly feel. It feels welcoming and sweet. The peaceful energy to this piece makes it feel as if you are walking outside on a green day. As exciting and complex as this piece sounds, it only uses one instrument, the Cello. Played by pizzicato, staccato rhythms, and legato melody and harmony lines, the cello can create a wonderful piece alone.

2. a good day
Similar to the previous piece, this one has a happy, and bright feel to it. It gives off a positive energy. The rhythmic, major piano lines give this piece energy and enthusiasm. The higher, more lighter parts give this piece character, in a way to show how it is important to appreciate the good days we have, because you never know when, or how much we get them.

3. pure city
There is nothing like a wonderful day in the city. Seeing all different kinds of people, looking at amazing buildings, and so much more. There is something in the air. Something pure, and loveful. This piano
piece represents the pureful, peaceful air in the city.

4. i’m bored so i watch the sunrise
Boredom is something that can be extremely frustrating. Not knowing what to do gets me all wound up. If I’m bored, and up early, sometimes I’ll look out my window next to my bed, and slowly watch the sunrise come to life. With patience and an open mind, it’s something so beautiful to see. The colors
slowly lighting as day starts once again. The birds come out and sing to one another. This piece represents the slow growth of the sunrise. It’s something to admire, and something to experience.

5. saturday morning
Waking up on a weekend morning to a bright sun beaming through the windows is a relaxing thought. It’s just you, in your room, not having to go anywhere. There’s a loneliness to it, but in a positive way. This piece shows that feeling of being alone, peacefully.

6. i wish to daydream
Stimulation around us can make us feel stressed, and overwhelmed. Sometimes, I wish that I could just stop, and take my mind elsewhere. In this piece, It makes you daydream, zone out, and think about your own thoughts that your brain takes you.

7. our story
There are many different people you meet in your life. Some are good, some are bad. Some
are good at first, but then it goes downhill. Whatever it may be, you share a story with them. Whether it’s over, or it is still in the making, there’s always that story or memory with you and that person. For me, this piece represents a friendly, loving story. The far away piano makes me feel lonely, but also
happy. But that doesn’t matter. It is up to you to make it feel like your own story.

8. my own party
It feels that life has a set of rules and expectations. Whether it may be how you dress, how much money you have, the color of your skin, who you love; the list goes on. It can be extremely hard to follow the rules. In this piece, I wanted to set up my own party, where I make the rules, not listening to anyone else. This piece gives a feeling of isolation, and dread. It shows how people can feel in today’s society.

9. the past’s future
I saw an old pump organ in the corner of my grandma’s den, and I wanted to check it out. It was extremely out of tune, and it made a lot of creaks, but to me, that made it even better. After years of this instrument in silence, I brang it to life. The creaks, accidentals, and out of tune notes give this piece an old feel, but also very futuristic at the same time, almost like it’s the past’s future.

10. a peaceful dream
Dreams are something so fascinating, and so unreal. No one knows what they really are. Dreams are always weird stories that never make sense. This piece creates a dreamy atmosphere, with the pitch bends, old style chord progressions, and nostalgia.

11. a distant memory
Memories. A powerful and important thing we all have. It is what shapes the purpose of our lives. Whether negative or positive, there is always beautifulness in the memories we collect. However, sometimes our brains get fogged up. We end up losing the memories we wish we could get back. Sometimes these lost memories are still partly alive. We can still remember a piece of it, just enough to keep us holding onto it. These memories are a full story that is waiting to be told, or perhaps they’re missing pages in a book. This piece represents the distant memories we partly have.

12. sunlight at midnight
Picture yourself alone in a huge cathedral with high ceilings that touch the sky. The beautiful artwork and architecture fills the room with magic. A stained glass window is shining in all different colors. In the front of the room, a huge choir is performing a peaceful, magical piece. Even though it is dark, the enchantment lights up the room. This piece is a great way to end the album in remembrance. I hope you enjoyed this album.

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Dazzler of the Day: Olivia Rodrigo

The dividing line between fans and non-fans of Olivia Rodrigo seems to meander along the wavering edge between older and younger people on my social media timelines. Those in the fandom have posted the following interesting figures:

  • She is the first person born after the year 2000 to have multiple songs debut at #1 (three in total now that “Vampire” has debuted at #1)
  • She is the only person in history to have the lead singles from each of their first 2 albums debut at number one.
  • She was the first female in history to have her first two singles from her debut album enter the chart at number one.
  • She is the youngest person to debut 3 singles at number one – ever.

For those reasons alone, she has easily earned this Dazzler of the Day

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Meet Me in the City (With Macarons)

Come on and meet me in the city
Get your courage up and take the highway down
Put on the dress you wore the night we met
You and me are going to paint this town
We’ll go wild and seize the night…

My recent trip to New York begins at the denouement, with this little box of macarons from Ladurée, brought back to my husband as a treat from the new Moynihan Rail Station. To find such beauty and deliciousness in the heart of a train station is wonder and whimsy and wildness when you least expect it (especially if you’d been entering New York through the old Penn Station for decades). This trip would mark my first time back since the winter of 2020 – right before the world imploded – and I wanted it, and needed it, to be quiet and uneventful. 

Finding the quiet and uneventful in the madness that can be New York is a challenging quest in itself, yet somehow we always manage to locate such moments, sometimes conjuring them from will and wish and whim. This was a lovely trip and it feels finely fitting to tease it with this inviting post. Decadence is there for the taking, if you dare to take it, and if escape is to be found in a box of macarons, then let us have the macarons, every last one. 

Our train departs tomorrow – get rest tonight, if you can… 

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Dazzler of the Day: Janet Jackson

This is one of those superstars whose crowning as Dazzler of the Day is anticlimactic at best, (see also Dolly Parton, Beyoncé, and Madonna) and almost insulting at worst, since it pales in comparison to the body of work that she has amassed. Janet Jackson needs no introduction, and from her quiet beginnings as the Jackson 5’s baby sister to her current reign as untouchable pop goddess, she’s created a legacy that shows no signs of tarnishing. The album that means to most to me is probably ‘janet.’, coming out as it did during my senior year of high school when some of the most indelible memories of youth were being created. That means the album is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, and ‘That’s the Way Love Goes’. 

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Poussez My Bussy

Cuchi, cuchi and ooh la la and everything sexy Frenchie…

This is Poussez and I’m having a 70’s summer disco moment!

It is not my habit to employ many exclamation points because they are too often misconstrued, departing from what I originally intended to convey – and since that changes from point to point, with varying degrees of exclamation, it’s as much my fault as the reader’s. You are exonerated, assuming you’re still with me and reading these words. That will hopefully get harder if/when you press play on the song below. Go on, click it – you know you want to… spin us back to the disco and the dance-floor.

We need some sort of release right about now. It’s Friday – we have arrived at the front door of the weekend – and ooh, la, la let’s just get down and dirty from the very damn beginning. Since I was but a baby as the 70’s were ending their storied tacky fabulousness, I hold no memories of dancing in some ‘Saturday Night Fever’ disco ball hall, but I did my fair share of imagining, and these days that’s the safest way to participate.  

By the way, ‘Poussez’ loosely translates as ‘push’, and if you don’t know what the bussy is, well, you can look it up on your own computer. I won’t sully these pages with such gorgeous atrocities. Besides, my bussy is already all over these parts. See my Insta. See my Threads. Wait, don’t… 

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Troye Sivan & the Rush of Summer

Are you old enough to remember when Calvin Klein got into all that heat and controversy for those 70’s-inspired porn/heroin chic ads featuring super-young almost-models? Troye Sivan‘s latest video for ‘Rush’ is like one of those brilliant ads brought to magnificent life – a slice of glorious abandon and divine debauchery to match the spirit of summer. Just when you think the gays had already found their summer anthem (‘Padam, Padam’ by you-know-who) Sivan comes out with this scorcher which has an even hotter video and sound, absolutely resounding with summer vibes and sweaty nights. 

‘Rush’ unabashedly takes its name and inspiration from the well-known brand of poppers (you know – the one with the lightning bolt on it). For the bad-gay record, I’ve never tried poppers. In some ways, I’m as square as they come. For those who have, and for anyone who wants to approximate that fabled euphoria, this song and video are a way to access the high without the risk. You do you. 

{See more of Troye Sivan in this Dazzling post.}

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The Almost-Midnight Hour

Burning the candle at both ends, rather than running the risk of using the midnight oil, I sit in the attic and write these words, knowing you won’t read them until the next morning, and slightly hesitant because of that. Night-writing usually results in something moodier than what we typically want during the day, and I try to keep an ear open to what this will sound like when the light is in the sky again. 

My schedule has been edging toward less and less sleep, which tends to run me into the ground, and I’ve found myself dozing off around 6 PM, whether I’m in a chair, or couch, or bed. The damn Wordle streak I’m on (122 and counting!) has me slightly obsessed and half-hoping it ends soon so I can let go of the stress and pressure, and start missing days again. Oh the silly things we put ourselves through, the silly things we humans do. All to pass a day, or a night. Why can’t we simply sit and be?

A song then, for such a sentiment.

A song for putting me to bed for the night, and for greeting you first thing in the day. 

Maybe it’s a little sad for one or the other, but even summer has its tinges of sadness, and sometimes they are worse than the winter because the world now feels at odds with the heart. 

A meditation followed by a night swim – this is how I get my kicks, and it’s more glorious than any of those wild nights of my 20’s. Fine for their time and place, and completely repellant and disagreeable to me in thought and deed now. Our capacity to grow and change and keep doing it year after year is one of my favorite parts of being human. It almost makes up for all of our failings and falterings. 

I wish a meditation and a night swim solved the pain and the problems that plague any average adult living in this world. I wish I knew better how to handle the sorrows that creep across our paths on any given day. I wish there was more to do than offer a hug or a word of encouragement. I wish…

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Words & Notes

It isn’t that I don’t want to be forgotten. 

That’s the big fear, isn’t it? Being forgotten. Being here for as long as you have been here and not being remembered for any of it. As if being here, then, were entirely meaningless. As if being is meaningless.

The artists who acknowledge and own up to their egos will admit to this being part of their art

It isn’t that I don’t want to be forgotten. 

Having loved, and having been loved, is, I think, the purpose of any purity in our lives. We can pretend there are loftier aims and goals, maybe some greater meaning and altruistic impetus to get us into heaven, but I really think it’s smaller and more finite than that. Such a little thing – love – a four-letter word to rival all the other four-letter words. 

Artists want to think the work is what will remain, the work is what will endure, and then only if it’s good and true and authentic

I am not a good artist.

All I will ever have to leave is a little bit of love – but if I leave a little each day then I will be happy with my life, and none of it will have been wasted or wanting. 

Sometimes I get too wrapped up in the day to remember this. 

Sometimes I fall into the trappings of just getting through the damn drama of the day.

Sometimes I simply refuse. Defiant to the noble cause, impossible to the very end, and insisting upon hurting my own heart and taking the rest of the world down with me. 

And I, sometimes, Aspire Instead. 

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A Popular Song for Summer

I’ve seen the devil
Down Sunset
In every place
In every face…

Leave it to Madonna to continue the summer song vibe with this record-breaking return to the charts, along with The Weeknd and Playboi Carti. It’s easy and breezy and ideal for the summer season, the sort of song that percolates gently, easing into a sunny morning. Do I care about the lyrics? About as much as I care to be popular. This is just about the groove, the vibe, the languid shuffling movement that feels like slow-motion swimming, the only way to get away from the heat right there on the surface. 

Tell me, do you see her? She’s livin’ her life
Even if she acts like she don’t want the limelight 
But if you knew her, she lives a lie
She calls the paparazzi, then she acts surprised
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I know what she needs 
She just want the fame, I know what sh? fiends 
Give her a littl? taste, runnin’ back to me
Put it in her veins, pray her soul to keep, 
Ooh-ooh, every night (Every night)
She prays to the sky
Flashin’ lights is all she ever wants to see

A summer vibe then – the summer of ’23 – too soon to tell what it will become, too early to feel how it will end. Pass the iced tea. Let’s have tomato sandwiches for lunch, the kind that turn the mayonnaise pink, the pretty mess dripping down our fingers. Even the bees are welcome to a taste

The heat is high. The canopy does little to shield us from that. A hyacinth bean twirls its dark purple vines around a trellis, a clump of nasturtiums shading its base. Summer winds around itself now, heat building on heat, and a line of sweat drips down my chest, tickling and causing me to look down to make sure it’s not a bug. A salt lick for the horse inside of all of us. 

Beggin’ on her knees to be popular
That’s her dream, to be popular (Hey)
Kill anyone to be popular (Hm)
Sell her soul to be popular (Popular)

Just to be popular (Uh-huh)
Everybody scream ’cause she popular (Hey)
She mainstream ’cause she popular
Never be free ’cause she popular

Summer shade in a song, summer secrets held too long. Lounging by the pool, sunglasses hiding where my gaze might fall, I know the seductive pull of the sunny season. It’s California and Florida balled up and thrown into a sea of flames. It’s light and water and dancing across the surface. It’s sitting as still as possible to remain as cool as possible as if that were remotely possible. The conundrum of summer – like the queasiness of Sunday night – is impenetrable and impossible. That’s why we had Sunday tea dances, why we braved the bridges to bear down on Provincetown, why we pinned our hopes and dreams on that one perfect swimsuit that would bring all the boys to the yard. Summer was the infuriating and tantalizing tease that the most diabolical devil couldn’t conjure even at his cruelest turn. 

I know that you see me, time’s gone by 
Spent my whole life runnin’ from your flashin’ lights
Try to own it, but I’m alright 
You can’t take my soul without a fuckin’ fight

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Again… Tomorrow (Or the Very Last Iris)

When we were young I thought I needed the bombast.

Maybe I did.

Maybe I needed the driving guitars, the wall of sound, the driving noise, and the rush and wail of the original version of this song. Back then it carried the power to pull me away from the ledge, and perhaps that’s precisely the drastic and bombastic shove which saved me, something to jolt and shock and force myself into any other state than the one in which I simply wanted to cease existing. That sort of mindset requires a bigger bang than the orchestral song you are about to hear here. Necessary for its time and purpose in life, and long fallen by the wayside in favor of something more sustainable and reasonable. 

These days, I am finding more meaning and resonance in a quieter mode of living. When you’ve had a proper thrashing when you’re young, and lived a few crazy years of fun and wildness, you can have your mid-life crisis, embrace it, and hopefully come out on the other side a bit better for all of it. 

“Such men believe in luck, they watch for signs, and they conduct private rituals that structure their despair and mark their waiting. They are relatively easy to recognize but hard to know, especially during the years when a man is most dangerous to himself, which begins at about age thirty-five, when he starts to tally his losses as well as his wins, and ends at about fifty, when, if he has not destroyed himself, he has learned that the force of time is better caught softly, and in small pieces. Between those points, however, he’d better watch out, better guard against the dangerous journey that beckons to him –the siege, the quest, the grandiosity, the dream.” ~ Colin Harrison

Every time I feel that I might be moving beyond this pocket of danger, and that others in my orbit are safe too, something happens that reminds me we are not quite fifty, not quite to the shore yet. Even the most seemingly-innocuous storm could be the one to take us out – to sea, to loss, to regret, to worse… And I wonder if there will ever be a safe day, a day or time when we can simply relax, let down our guards, and be. I wonder and I hope… and I listen to this song called ‘Tomorrow‘. 

Today in the garden the very last Japanese iris bloomed – through the afternoon storm, and unexpectedly, as I had thought their blooms were already done. This one must have hidden itself in the fading remnants of its predecessors, tricking me into thinking the display was over when really there was one day more of beauty. That’s the magic of a tomorrow – you never know what might show up and bloom for you. 

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Summer Love Hangover

During my days and nights of drinking, it wasn’t the physical hangover that bummed me out from time to time (though those did hurt, especially the tail-whip ones, wherein just when you thought you were ok, a wave of nausea came on like the last minute tail-whip of that demon in ‘Lord of the Rings‘ that took Gandalf the Gray) it was the emotional hangovers that left me confused and scared and defeated. One of the things that made quitting drinking an easy choice was the determination to never again waste a morning – particularly a summer morning – lost in that hazy fog. One need not quit drinking entirely to avoid such a state – one just needs to avoid drinking to excess. My past was all about the excess, so I fell prey to losing many a morning. 

If there’s a cure for thisI don’t want it, I don’t want itIf there’s a remedyI’ll run from it, from it
Think about it all the timeNever let it out of my mind‘Cause I love you…

Turning this into a musical moment for summer involves injecting a bit of Diana Ross disco into the scene, which lends its own fabulousness with nary a drop of liquor. It begins in slow fashion, the way one typically wakes, with or without a hangover to be honest, and slowly insinuates the embrace of losing oneself to love, and the regret or recreation of falling in such a way. Reminiscent of sweaty fever-dreams, and the secretive desires that summer holds within the folds of her gossamer wardrobe, the song is a hypnotic exploration of the morning-after, whatever the night before might have been. 

To that end, it is magical – an extended musical trail that rises and falls, offering twists and turns and the ultimate disco-abandon of Ms. Ross at the dawn of the 1980’s. Summer is the best time to lose oneself to the decadence and debauchery that youth affords, and I have absolutely no regrets about digging deeply into that lavender haze

‘Cause, if there’s a cure for this, I don’t want itDon’t want it (love to love you, sweet)Love to love you, sweet
Sweet love, I love youSweet love, need loveBad love, sweet love hangoverI don’t want no cureSweet love, love hangoverLove hangover

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Top Twenty Madonna Timelines

You may have heard that this is the 20th year of ALANILAGAN.com, and as such I’m going to start culling a few ‘Top Twenty’ lists from the archives in celebration of such a milestone. (Who knows if I might make to another?) We’ll begin with one that is close to my musical heart: the Top Twenty Madonna Timelines. (These are not in any strict order, as it’s too difficult to rank that, they are just twenty notable timelines.)

The Madonna Timeline has been a regular installment here wherein I dissect a specific Madonna song (chosen randomly by the ‘Shuffle’ feature) and go into whatever memories or background I have of the song, when it was released, and/or what it has come to mean to me over the years. For a long time, I could date my life based on what Madonna era was happening, but failing memory and lack of indelible career moments have largely left that in the past. Here’s a reminder of some of my favorites.

1. Drowned World/Substitute for Love ~ This is my favorite Madonna song (with the caveat that such a preposterous proclamation is always subject to change – but this one has stayed at the top of my list since it came out in 1998, and as much as I adore her I don’t see Madonna topping this one anytime sooner or later). The opening track of her best album to date (the miraculous ‘Ray of Light’) this song ushered in one of the greatest Madonna eras ever. It was once again about the music, and this music came with layered nuance, lyrical poignance, and introspective grace. It was an emotional reckoning, highlighted by this compelling track, which seduces the listener with a calm and languid beginning then ruminates on the price of love and fame and the search for something more before culminating in one of the most powerful bridges she has ever written.

2. Vogue ~ Madonna has always been about fun and glamour, and nowhere is that more evident than in her classic anthem ‘Vogue’. From the opening command of ‘Strike a pose!’ to the quasi-rap litany of Hollywood royalty, this is Madonna at the crux of fabulous and campy in an ode and an invitation to the gay balls of the late 80’s. It also inspired a major timeline sprinkled with Oscar Wilde quotes and gay memories galore.

3. Like A Prayer ~ The rarefied upper-echelon of Madonna’s catalog contains many iconic moments and the crowning jewel of her musical oeuvre has to be ‘Like A Prayer’. For substance, style, and transformative musical transcendence, this remains Madonna’s most majestic move, and it has endured for decades with good reason.

4. Erotica ~ Sex and sin and seduction, oh my! A turning point in Madonna’s career formed a valuable and necessary life-lesson for me, laying the groundwork for my own creative expression. 

5. Turn Up the Radio ~ Losing oneself in a pop song is one of Madonna’s most enduring hat-tricks, and a large reason why some of us have never been able to quit her. ‘Turn Up the Radio’ starts off as a stellar slice of escapist pop music, until you realize by the bridge she is desperately doing all that she can to simply survive (“We gotta have fun, if that’s all that we do”).

6. Rain ~ Forging the heart of the gorgeously-icy ‘Erotica’ album, ‘Rain’ was part of a pivotal moment in my life – and may have actually saved it

7. Rebel Heart ~ At this stage in her career and life, Madonna has nothing left to prove, but an air of defiance imbues the title track of the under-appreciated-if-chaotic ‘Rebel Heart’ album. It’s a bit of a look-back and reassessment of “all the things I did just to be seen” while refusing to be anything other than the rebel she has always embodied.

8. Crazy For You ~ One of my very first crushes forms the narrative portion of this Madonna Timeline, and for that reason it holds a special place in my heart.

9. Secret ~ The Madonna song that will forever be linked with the memory of the first man I ever kissed, ‘Secret’ is heartbreaking on a personal level, and healing in the same way.

10. You Must Love Me ~ Though I was semi-stalking a young man at the time this song came out, ‘You Must Love Me’ eventually became the command that came true, as the object of my affection way back then ended up becoming a lifelong friend.

11. Music ~ When it comes to fun, nobody does a better bop than Madonna. From ‘Holiday’ to ‘Spotlight’ to her millennium-opener ‘Music’, she knows how to craft a catchy and infectious tune. Coupled with the first few months of dating Andy, this song informs one of the happiest times in my life.

12. Express Yourself ~  Another moment in Madonna history is also one of the most self-empowering songs ever written, and this take-charge anthem is a potent blast of pop perfection (cue the horny horn break).

13. Ray of Light ~ Exploding out of the spring and summer of 1998, the lead track to Madonna’s greatest album ‘Ray of Light’ is a roaring revelation of celebratory abandon and realization – the zenith of Madonna’s dance-pop evolution, even if she had no hand in actually writing the song. The timeline is always a fun memory, as it brings me back to a night in Boston when, fueled by a cocktail of something called ‘Liquid Cocaine’, I sped through Copley Square on roller-blades with a long black cloak flowing in my wake.

14. Messiah ~ Despite her ‘Something to Remember’ collection, Madonna has never truly been appreciated for her ballads, which is criminal, as they form the compelling contrast and anchors of so many of her albums. This selection from the somewhat-messy ‘Rebel Heart’ opus echoes other brilliant balladry such as ‘Falling Free’, ‘Promise to Try’, ‘I’ll Remember’ and ‘I Want You’.

15. True Blue – An ode to old-fashioned romance and sweet, hopeful innocence, this frothy confection of ear candy goes down easy and rekindles a simpler time in life.

16. Live to Tell ~ The best songs of Madonna transcend the limitations of pop music, allowing multiple readings and layers of interpretation. ‘Live to Tell’ hints at secrets and betrayals, survival and destruction, and is one of Madonna’s most serious and powerful ballads.

17. Secret Garden ~ Closing out the sexual kaleidoscope of ‘Erotica’, this glorious glimpse of a metaphorical musical garden found flowering and fruition and little to nothing to do with fucking. A precursor to cocky clickbait.

18. You’ll See ~ Turning romantic tragedy to independent triumph, ‘You’ll See’ was pegged as the ‘I Will Survive’ of its day, and it came at a time when my own romantic adventures were just beginning.

19. Survival – Opening her deceptively-soft-focused ‘Bedtime Stories’ album (one of the most unexpectedly-pivotal albums in her career, lowering expectations as it repositioned her as an artist who would endure rather than burn-out in a blaze of glory) this track and timeline found both Madonna and myself in a fascinating state of flux.

20. Material Girl ~ Where it all began for me.

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Taking the Rain

The rain came down the rain came downThe rain came down on meThe wind blew strong and summer’s songFades to memory
I knew you when i loved you thenIn summer’s yawn now helplessYou laid me bare you marked me thereThe promises we made…

The first time I ever watched the George Cukor classic ‘The Women’ was on a lazy summer day, when it was too hot to stay outside, so I flipped through the channels of the television and this black and white movie came on TCM. Knowing it had inspired various fashion designers over the years, I settled in for the afternoon and watched the travails of Mary Haines and her female cohorts (with one of my favorites, Rosalind Russell, battling Joan Crawford for a meal of scenery). The bottle of perfume that forms a pivotal plot point for discovery was named ‘Summer Rain’, a name that has gone largely forgotten in favor of the more pointedly named ‘Jungle Red’ nail polish. 

Tonight we are being deluged by rain, and so I was put in mind of the movie, and this song, which has nothing to do with the movie, but is from a summer-themed album ‘Reveal’ by R.E.M. That collection contained the more-overtly-related ‘Summer Turns to High‘ and the glorious ‘Imitation of Life‘. 

I used to think as birds take wingThey sing through life so why can’t we?We cling to this and claim the bestIf this is what you’re offeringI’ll take the rain i’ll take the rain
The nighttime creases summer schemesAnd stretches out to stayThe sun shines down you came aroundYou loved the easy days but now the sunThe winter’s come i wanted just to sayThat if I hold i’d hoped you’d foldOpen up inside, inside of me

Most of the favored songs for summer are upbeat and effervescent and hopeful. That’s what summer is supposed to be – sunny and light and airy. That leaves out the darker underside, and somehow the more beautiful and somber shades of summer. It’s here in this song, here on this rainy evening, in which I take my own version of ‘Summer Rain’ down from the shelf, ‘Un Jardin Apres la Mousson’ by Hermes – which translates to a garden after the Monsoon – and spray a little on before bed. 

Far from waking from thunder, I’ve always slept better during the rain, in or out of Hermes

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My Old-School Summer Playlist

Summer is the best season for making musical memories – and when you align a certain period of time with a specific summer song, the memory is usually as salient as anything injured by lilac or peony. Fragrance gets all the glory when it comes to invoking memories, but a certain piece of music can be just as resonant. For this post, I’m recreating a playlist of the past, from some of my favorite summer songs. Not all of these came out in the sunny season, but that’s when I find myself playing them the most, so they have become my own set of summer songs. There is also no artistically-intentional sequence, for the most part, so if you’re looking for a deeper narrative you’ve got the wrong season. It’s summer; the living, and the listening, is supposed to be easy. I’ll only embed the first tune, and leave the rest for you to find and peruse on your own. I’m told Spotify is a great way to discover new music, so do what the cool kids do and go forth along that avenue (then teach me how to use it so I can follow). 

My classic summer playlist begins with one of the very few upbeat and happy Enya songs ever written, and it was part of a Crystal Light commercial that aired during my childhood. A very strong memory of sipping their iced tea while sucking on hard raspberry candies (the ones that came in a round little tin with pretty pictures of pink fruit on top) all while watching the NBC daytime line-up is what this song conjures for me – a stagnant but cool moment that would inform a lifetime of drama thanks to the inspirational mayhem found on ‘Days of Our Lives’, ‘Another World’ and ‘Santa Barbara’. 

Alan’s Classic Summer Playlist 
  1. Orinoco Flow – Enya
  2. Cherish – Madonna
  3. Love Will Never Do – Janet Jackson
  4. Rush, Rush – Paula Abdul
  5. Miss Chatelaine – k.d. lang
  6. Sanssouci – Rufus Wainwright
  7. It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over – Lenny Kravitz
  8. How We Used to Live – Saint Etienne
  9. Stars Are Blind – Paris Hilton
  10. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) – Whitney Houston
  11. Alone – Heart
  12. Doesn’t Really Matter – Janet Jackson
  13. Turn Up the Radio – Madonna
  14. Human Nature – Michael Jackson
  15. Holding Back the Years – Simply Red
  16. Don’t Dream It’s Over – Crowded House
  17. Your Wildest Dreams – The Moody Blues
  18. Liquid Love – Madonna
  19. Don’t Say Your Love Is Killing Me – Erasure
  20. No One Is To Blame – Howard Jones
  21. This Used To Be My Playground – Madonna
  22. Playground Love – Air
  23. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak
  24. Summer Turns to High – R.E.M.
  25. Delta Dawn – Helen Reddy
  26. Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered – Ella Fitzgerald version
  27. The Glory of Love – Peter Cetera
  28. Ray of Light – Madonna
  29. Something New Axwell & Ingrosso
  30. It Must Have Been Love – Roxette
  31. Where the Boys Are – Connie Francis
  32. Poses – Rufus Wainwright

Some of these songs go way back, and are only summer-like thanks to my own singular machinations of when I played them the most. You probably have your own summer songs – the ones that mean something only to you, and have come to embody the summers of your youth. That’s when music seems to matter most.

And so I play the music of my own summer youth, rekindling old memories and burning a few new ones. I’ve purposely left out more recent songs in service of future blog posts, and perhaps another summer playlist before the season is out. Maybe by then I’ll figure out this Spotify thing and enter the current decade…

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