Category Archives: Mocktails

It’s fun to be a dick – to go around and just fuck things up, so I’m going to be one and tell you that if you’d like the mocktail recipe for the delicious creation you see pictured in this post, you are going to have to work for it. That means going to this post and finding the recipe card for the base of what you see here. One last bit of exertion before the weekend…

I love lavender.

I love matcha.

Yet I never thought of loving them together, but that is precisely what happened when I tried the new Iced Lavender Cream Oat Milk Matcha – a somewhat-awkwardly-named jewel of a drink that is as delicious as it is beautiful. After that fiasco of a Unicorn Frappuccino, I didn’t have great expectations for this one, and Starbucks and I have had our own ups and downs over the years. Happily, this drink is one glorious combination that probably won’t last for long because people just don’t have good taste anymore. I will enjoy it while it’s here, and hope that the lavender lasts well into the summer. That’s what lavender should do. 

The drink itself begins in the depths of the matcha, with all its earthly delights and even-keeled dose of caffeine (matcha is about the only caffeine I can handle, as it supposedly releases its effects over a longer period of time, rather than hitting all at once in a jolt of heart-palpitating madness). Once the lavender cream seeps into the straw, all wrapped up in the oat milk tying it all together, the effect is enchanting – spring and summer brightening the wintery-murkiness of the matcha. It’s a wonderful concoction, surprising in how well it works, and a lovely segue into the spring season. 

This merry mocktail is the drink of the season in these parts, and it couldn’t be easier to make. The most difficult part is the rosemary syrup, but even that is simple – it just takes some time to cool down in the fridge overnight. Mocktails are becoming more and more available, as those of us who choose not to drink are no longer being ignored. During the holidays, it’s especially important to have something like this on hand if you’re throwing a party or gathering. You can always add gin or vodka to it for those who want something stronger. For me, the rosemary syrup is all the kick it needs (don’t omit the cloves as they make all the difference).

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 part pomegranate juice
• 1 part pomegranate seltzer
• 1 part rosemary syrup (see below)
  • Rosemary Syrup
    • 1 cup brown sugar
    • 1 cup white sugar
    • 2 cups water
    • Several whole cloves
    • 1 bunch fresh rosemary (5-7 sprigs)
      • Add ingredients to pot and heat until dissolved and just beginning to boil. Take off heat, let cool, strain, then cool completely in refrigerator overnight.

METHOD:

Combine juice and syrup and shake well with ice. Pour into cocktail glass and add seltzer. Garnish with sprig of fresh rosemary. 

One of the most simple but effective mocktails of late is perfect for this fall moment. This is just some fresh cider, amended with the juice of a freshly-squeezed lemon, and sprinkled with some cinnamon and freshly-grated nutmeg and allspice. The lemon is the key, tempering the sweetness of the cider. A garnish of a cinnamon stick is extra in the worst way, but ’tis the damn season. 

This set the stage for a fall weekend with a dear friend… more on that to come.

After a few gloriously sunny, 80-degree pool days last week, the past Monday and Tuesday of gloom and doom had my household feeling dour and sour, so I did what once brought false cheer to any surroundings: made myself a drink. 

Whereas the cheer was brought about in the past through the addition of alcohol, today my spirits were lifted by the charming little libation you see before you – a basic peach spritzer, bereft of all booze and absolutely absent of all alcohol. My how times have changed. 

This simple concoction was made possible by all the non-alcoholic options out there now that were nowhere to be found twenty years ago when I was in my drinking prime. Back then the notion of a mocktail was decidedly unpopular, if you could manage to find one at all. These days there are so many flavored seltzers and mixers and waters that the alternatives to alcohol outnumber the liquor itself, and most decent drinking establishments have more than a few non-alcoholic options. Hell, there are even bars that don’t offer any booze at all. It’s a brave new world, and I’m here for it. 

As for this pretty little cup of peach fizz, it’s one part peach margarita mix (which is available with hardly any sugar or calories) and one part peach/pear seltzer, equally void of calories and sugar. Normally I’d garnish with a thin but obnoxious slice of peach in entirely unnecessary excess, but on this gray night on top of two gray days, I had neither the time nor the effort to make that trip to the market. Happily, this manages to be just as refreshing without the fruit. 

There is no better way to greet the iffy dawn of a new year than drinking from some bloody fountain of youth. In this case, the freshness of a Virgin Mary marked the first few moments of 2023, as I accessorized with enough garnishes to make this a light breakfast unto itself. 

The Bloody Mary is one of the best cocktails to translate into a mocktail. Typically the vodka disappears into the tomato juice and horseradish, so you don’t miss much in the way of flavor. This one was amended with some fresh lemon juice, a few drops of hot sauce, a smidge of cocktail sauce (which may be redundant), some freshly ground pepper, and the garnishes seen here – celery, cilantro, olives, and a shrimp.

Those Bloody Mary bars you sometimes see are aspirational with the amount of additions now on offer. (I’ve seen lobster tails, lobster claws, bacon, oysters, peppers of all kinds, asparagus, okra, gherkins, and just about every pickled item imaginable.) 

For this version, I kept things relatively simple, if a little tall. At the turn of an old year into a new one, you need a bit of loftiness. 

I love a drink that makes itself so absolutely extra.

For those of us not drinking alcohol, the holidays create the opportunity for being creative when everyone else is grabbing for the booze and beer. I used to ratchet things up during the Christmas season when it came to cocktails, but now I prefer a simpler way of life. You can still get as extravagant as you’d like with your libations, with or without the liquor – for me, at this point in life, the season is extravagant enough, and so I tend to tone things down when it comes to mocktails, using what is already fizzy and fanciful rather than start from scratch. 

Trader Joe’s offers several fun holiday sparklers, such as the cranberry ginger soda seen here (which I’ve amended with pomegranates and a sprig of fresh rosemary) as well as a pomegranate sparkling juice that I’ll try next. They can be had on their own, or accented with fresh garnishes or citrus to give them some extra zing. Keeping the cocktail/mocktail situation pared down and simple is one small way to make things run easier amid all the other madness. 

Crafting an off-shoot of this mocktail daiquiri recipe, I broke out the Lyre’s non-alcoholic white cane spirit for this little summer drink, whose main twist is some additional mint, for freshness, flavor and garnish. The magic of mint is that it can do all three without so much as breaking a sweat. That sort of triple threat is an antidote to the oppressive heat we may be continuing in the days to come. 

The best part of a mocktail is that there is no alcohol to dehydrate the body – which was always one of the nasty side-effects of traditional summer cocktailing. Here we have the refreshment, the cool-down, and none of the depressant or dehydrating drawbacks. Mocktail magnificence in full-effect. 

The recipe for this alcohol-free Calamansi Cooler may be found here – and feel free to vary and veer off in your direction, either by adding some alcohol or softening the tartness of the citrus with some fancy simple syrup. It’s summer, and the living should be easy. 

The formula for a lazy summer mocktail is simple enough – a small part of some sweet fruit juice or syrup, a dash of fresh, tart citrus, and a generous topping of your preferred seltzer. In this case, I used a Watermelon-Cucumber Cooler from Trader Joe’s as the base, squeezed out the juice of a small lime (you don’t even need to break out the squeezer, just use your hands and strain the seeds out) and filled the rest of the cup with some grapefruit seltzer. Stir and serve with a slip of lime peel. 

Summer was made for simplicity. Complex and convoluted mocktail recipes can wait for fall and winter. The head is fried in this heat. Keep it light and simple and slightly sweet. 

This admittedly-bastardized version of the Ramos gin fizz – entirely bereft of alcohol and egg white – has no real business being called a gin fizz, but it tastes just as lovely, with the fresh lemon and lime juice ricocheting neatly off the orange blossom water and kaffir lime simple syrup. With those potent flavors, the non-alcoholic gin alternative works well enough. For the soda water topper, I used some yuzu seltzer water, which was wondrous. All in all, it’s a mocktail that doesn’t feel like it’s missing anything.

For extra froth, I could have added the egg white, but with it being the end of a full Pink Moon weekend, I was taking no chances. Easter is fraught with enough risks. 

When crafting mocktails, it’s important to use the freshest ingredients to off-set the lack of that liquor bite, and that is especially true for any citrus-based concoction. Forget the processed juices housed in plastic or cartons – even the ‘freshly-squeezed’ ones – and buy a few limes and lemons and oranges and do it right. In the case of this Calamansi Cooler, and in the absence of calamansi juice, a suitable substitute is the juice of an orange, a lemon, and a lime. Strain and pour over ice, then add a simple syrup – either plain or augmented by some Kaffir lime leaves during the boiling process. 

The secret ingredient is orange blossom water – just a few scant drops as it’s powerful stuff – and then top with some calamansi seltzer. Garnish with whatever citrus twist you’d like. This is going to be the mainstay for our spring and summer days, and it feels good to have it in the line-up. A season is only as good as its signature drink.