Category Archives: Madonna

Madonna as Mere Mortal

The past year has brought about a number of Madonna reinventions, some of which have been the most striking of her storied career. Witness the challenging ‘Madame X’ album, a tapestry of music culled from around the world, most notably Portugal. Witness the accompanying theater tour for the album, which found Madonna in some of the most intimate venues since she first hit it big. And, most startling of all, witness her perhaps-unwanted turn as mere mortal, given her reported knee and hip injuries, which have caused her to cancel a number of tour dates. 

After one such cancellation, she posted an Instagram video of her carefully ascending a set of stairs with a “vintage cane”, looking slightly hunched over and defiantly un-Madonna-like. My heart broke a little for her then, as I’ve seen some of the ticket-holders’ reactions to her canceled shows. (By the way, I’m not one of those lucky folks who got to see one of the shows that went on – I had tickets to a Boston date, all of which ended up being canceled, so I speak as one of the affected parties. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I got over it, and at this point it’s clear that there are some serious medical issues at work.)

After almost four decades of thrashing her body in the name of entertainment and pop superstardom, and doing so in relentlessly top-of-her-game fashion, Madonna has spoiled us, and maybe herself, tricking everyone into assuming she would run forever. Up until now, she really showed no sign of slowing down. Even a brutal fall down a set of stairs didn’t stop her step for more than a few scary seconds. This time feels different, and I can’t imagine what Madonna herself might be feeling. I do know if anyone can make the best of a difficult situation and turn it to her advantage, it’s Madonna. I will keep my hopes in that and wish for the best in her recovery. She’s one of the last great pop stars still standing and creating, and now she deserves a break. 

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #159 ~ ‘Waiting’ – Winter 1993

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Apologies for keeping you waiting on this Madonna Timeline, but it fits the song, so the slightly masochistic game of anticipation worked out in the end. This selection brings us back to the winter of 1993, following the hubbub and release of the ‘Erotica’ album and ‘Sex’ book – one of the most stunning and spectacular sections of Madonna’s career, and one which almost sent the whole thing off the rails. True fans thrilled at the ride, and as 1993 began I took cues from her ‘Body of Evidence’ thriller and lit a cadre of candles in my bedroom, watching the soft light elicit shadows as I writhed beneath the blankets on those frigid January nights.

WELL I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE

THAT IF YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR SOMETHING MORE THAN ONCE OR TWICE

IT WASN’T YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE

AND THAT’S HARD TO ACCEPT WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE

AND YOU’RE LED TO BELIEVE

IN THEIR MOMENT OF NEED

THAT THEY WANT WHAT YOU WANT BUT THEY DON’T

When she wasn’t waiting, anticipating or hesitating, Madonna kept a pretty active beat. Impatience may be her greatest sin, though it’s served her well. At a time in her career when slowing down may be mandatory, looking back on the way she rushed through the early 90’s in a whirlwind of image-change-ups, keeping all of us guessing as to where she might be headed next, is a lesson in inspired ambition. Such a continual and provocative turn of guises might blunt the power of a singular persona, yet they only added to her allure and intrigue. For someone who seemed to revel in revealing so much, she retained a mystique that felt tantalizingly impenetrable. We always wanted more.

DON’T GO BREAKING MY HEART LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD

BABY YOU’RE NOT GOOD

AND YOU HURT ME LIKE NO OTHER LOVER EVER COULD

DON’T GO MAKING ME CRY

YOU’RE GONNA SAY GOODBYE

BABY TELL ME WHY, TELL ME WHY OR YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO JUSTIFY THIS

WAITING FOR YOU

JUST WAITING

CAN’T YOU SEE I’M WAITING FOR YOU

DON’T BREAK MY HEART

For all her naked exploits and controversial posing, her vulnerable core seemed an easy target for careless men, or men who simply couldn’t quite live up to the impossibility of being her match. When you’re the most interesting person in every room it’s difficult to find much happiness or hope after a while. That doesn’t mean she ever stopped looking. It also didn’t mean that people couldn’t break her heart. Quite the contrary, and this song embodies the icy fire that burns beneath the entire’Erotica’ era. The album sizzles in snowy fashion. Sex was a weapon and a way to salvation. It could act as salve and savior, destroyer and devil. It could seduce and betray in a single slinky encounter.

IT WAS SO EASY IN THE BEGINNING

WHEN YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE RUNNING FROM YOUR FEELINGS LIKE YOU ARE NOW

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DO I REMIND YOU OF?

YOUR PAST, YOUR DREAMS, OR SOME PART OF YOURSELF THAT YOU JUST CAN’T LOVE?

I WISH I COULD BELIEVE YOU

OR AT LEAST HAVE THE COURAGE TO LEAVE YOU.

‘Waiting’ is mostly a spoken song that travels along the whispered path of ‘Justify My Love’ but it contains a few impossible-to-shake hooks. While Shep Pettibone (of ‘Vogue’ glory) got much of the production attention, Andre Betts gave the album its jazzy, hip-hop grooves, most of which were wetter than all those salacious dance tracks. (See the wizardry of ‘Where Life Begins’ and ‘Secret Garden‘.) ‘Waiting’ also contains some pretty pointed and powerful words that only occasionally verge on veering into trite territory. Madonna’s blunt delivery saves it, giving it an edge heretofore unseen in much of her work.

LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME THAT LOVE WITH A MAN LIKE YOU IS ONLY GONNA MAKE BE BLUE

BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO

YOU DON’T COME AROUND HERE LIKE YOU DID BEFORE

WHEN YOU DID ADORE

TELL ME WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS

WAITING FOR YOU

I’M WAITING

CAN’T YOU SEE I’M WAITING FOR YOU

DON’T BREAK MY HEART

As the candles flicker and the wax drips, the intoxicating pull of desires and dreams lends the bedroom a sexual shadow. This song runs on for a healthy length, its meandering piano passes tickling Madonna’s breathless delivery, and the idea of waiting for a man, and for everything he might deliver, hangs in the smoky air. The hand moves languidly to the cock, and overcome by the need for sleep, my touch is one of casual lethargy. As sexually-charged as some cuts of the ‘Erotica’ album might be, there’s a richer layer of emotions at work, as evidenced by cuts like ‘Rain‘ and ‘Deeper and Deeper‘ and the title track itself. Sex was messy like that. As plainly physical as it could be, it always seemed tied into something deeper. Sometimes it was love. Sometimes it was pain. Always it was complicated. But I loved that about it. The complexities that swirled around the cock formed a heady conundrum that never failed to fascinate. What we did for gratification. What we did for want. What we did to connect… 

FINALLY I SEE A DIFFERENT MAN

ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS CAN

FINALLY I SEE A DIFFERENT FACE

TELL ME WHO IS GOING TO TAKE MY PLACE

The clock ticks. The clock tocks. Time hastens and slows, back and forth in a building rhythm. It pushes and pulls, and the body responds. Rivulets of wax run forth from the thick candles, spilling onto the desk, splashing and coalescing into muted echoes of what they once were. The transformation into heat and light and liquid complete, the flame flickers, daring and demanding to be blown out. Just open your mouth and lick your lips, letting the breath of life devour the fire. Take it all in…

I KNEW IT FROM THE START THAT YOU WOULD DESERT ME

YOU’RE GONNA BREAK MY HEART BABY PLEASE DON’T HURT ME

I KNEW IT FROM THE START THAT YOU WOULD DESERT ME

YOU’RE GONNA BREAK MY HEART BABY PLEASE DON’T HURT ME

Such was the fantasy, and such was the spell Madonna cast over me at the time. Whether it was pussy or prick for which I yearned, I couldn’t quite tell. The ‘Sex’ book had me straddling the divide like Madonna straddled a mirror while touching herself. The look of Madonna’s gaze as she reclined in shadow was as enthralling as the guys in the gaiety. The jockstrap-clad bald men enticed me as much as her dalliance with a shirtless Vanilla Ice. Sometimes sex was sex and it didn’t matter if it was with a man or a woman.

And so I stayed Waiting…

THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT PUSSY

JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR BABY.

SONG #159: ‘Waiting’ – Winter 1993

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Madonna Random Play

The wonkiness of Spotify aside, my simple shuffle method from iTunes works wonders in selecting the next Madonna Timeline entry, and for the next one I’m going to give you a behind-the-scenes look at the process of how I randomly go about selecting the next song. When it’s time to write a new timeline, I’ll open up iTunes, choose Madonna, and shuffle it until I hit the most recent timeline entry. In this case that’s ‘Medellin’ – so let’s go there now.

Upon first opening it up, I have to get through a number of songs before reaching the most recent, and they come up randomly. For instance, in this road to ‘Medellin’ we hit the following:

‘Bad Girl’

‘Hollywood’

‘Ghosttown’

‘Crazy’

‘Hanky Panky’

‘Thief of Hearts’

‘Living For Love’

‘Sorry’

Then up popped ‘Medellin’, which means the first unchronicled song after this point is the next Madonna Timeline entry. Let’s see which ones we have to get through before a new song is determined:

‘Candy Shop’

‘Beat Goes On’

‘Into the Groove’

Oh damn, we hit a new song already.

‘Waiting’ from the ‘Erotica’ album.

Oh well, you’re gonna have to wait for it, because this was supposed to be a long-ass holding place.

 

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #158 ~ ‘Medellín’ – Spring 2019

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

We have reached the depressing point in fall when all the color has drained from the world. From here on out there only grays and browns and blacks, as evidenced in the piles of leaves seen around the neighborhood. Mounds of them, tinged with mold and decay, some dismally soaked, some relievedly dry, remain in the lawn. The thought of bagging them feels impossible. Memories of raking flood my mind – smoke hanging in the air, tears drying on my face, our white brick house in the distance – and the inconsolable fact that November was somehow always the saddest month. I’d stand beneath the forest of pine trees and oaks, raking and bagging in an endless cycle of hellish repetition.

The weight of each bag depended on how wet the fall was. Dry leaves could be packed and stacked, their bags easily lifted and plopped by the edge of the road for pick-up. Wet leaves, while they were easier to handle because they all stuck together, were exponentially heavier. Rarely was there a happy medium. Rarely was there happiness.

Haunted by a house I thought was my home, I was too young to realize how I might never belong. I held onto the delusions of childhood as tightly as I could, to no avail. They took to the sky like those wisps of smoke that colored and scented the air. I could only feel the remnants of them, the echo of their sentiment.

An old-school pair of headphones kept my ears shielded from the wind, and more importantly they fed the lifeblood that would take me out of my body, out of my head, out of my misery while a musical enchantress sung of love and loss and family on her majestic ‘Like A Prayer’ album. Madonna was my escape and salvation. Then and now. Time catches up to me, literally three decades later. The same forlorn state of the season, the same forlorn terrain of the heart.

And, just like then, I turn to Madonna.

ONE
TWO
ONE
TWO
ONE-TWO
CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE-TWO
TWO-ONE
TWO-ONE
CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA

Choosing a snippet of ASMR as an opener to an eagerly-anticipated album is a head-scratcher, but there she was, whispering in my ear and transforming her voice into scratches of sound like the distant raking of dry leaves in the smoky autumn air, intoning the count-off to a cha-cha as her 14thstudio album ‘Madame X’ began its sonic journey.

It arrived in the middle of spring, when we were just about to set the scene for summer. ‘Medellín’ came at the perfect time, even if the weather wasn’t quite ready to turn the page. New England doesn’t always like to let winter go, and on a weekend in Boston that was wild with wind and bitter with rain – the usual roller-coaster of weather that has always put me in a tizzy – I played this song to combat the awfulness.

That spring was a hopeful one, and this was a tease to a new Madonna album – one that promised to become the soundtrack to the coming summer. Medellín’ was the ideal teaser – a whisper of a track that was a delectable way to shuffle into a meeting with Madame X.

I TOOK A PILL AND HAD A DREAM
I WENT BACK TO MY 17TH YEAR
ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE NAIVE
TO BE SOMEONE I’VE NEVER BEEN
I TOOK A SIP AND HAD A DREAM
AND I WOKE UP IN Medellín
THE SUN WAS CARESSING MY SKIN
ANOTHER ME COULD NOW BEGIN

It already feels so far away. How could spring have been so long ago? How could the world have changed so much? I still remember those first few days of warmth, when the dream-like trance of this song held sway and Madonna shared the aural territory with Maluma, something she had achieved with similar success in ‘4 Minutes’ with Justin Timberlake, and less desirous results in ‘Me Against the Music’ with Britney Spears. Here their voices worked well together, and the casual vibe of this entry was a refreshing change of pace from earlier lead-off singles. [See ‘Material Girlâ’, ‘Like A Prayer‘, ‘Vogue‘, ‘Hung Up‘, ‘4 Minutes‘ and even ‘Gimme All Your Luvin.

TRANQUILA, BABY, YO TE APOYO
NO HAY QUE HABLARNOS MUCHO PARA ENTRAR EN ROLLO
SI QUIERES SER MI REINA PUES YO TE CORONO
Y PA’ QUE TE SIENTES AQUÃ TENGO UN TRONO
TE GUSTA CABALGAR, ESO ESTÃ CLARO
SI SIENTES QUE VOY RAPIDO LE BAJO
DISCÚLPAME, YO Sà QUE ERES MADONNA
PERO TE VOY A DEMOSTRAR CÃMO ESTE PERRO TE ENAMORA

In our backyard, I painted plant stands in shades of bright canary yellow – so bright and saturated with color that they almost hurt my eyes as they dried in the sun. I found a few pots glazed in a rainbow of fiery shades and filled them with ferns. The patio by the pool was soon a tropical paradise, and on an ancient, dusty CD player Madonna and Maluma traded verses. If you squinted at the rippling water and pretended the neighbor’s kids were quiet, you could almost picture the aqua brilliance of the ocean, the sway of the palm trees, the heat of the sand…

VEN CONMIGO, LET’S TAKE A TRIP
SI TE LLEVO PA’ UN LUGAR LEJANO
VEN CONMIGO, I’LL BE SO GOOD FOR YOU
TE ENAMORO, TE ENAMORO, MAMI (AY-AY-AY)
VEN CONMIGO, LET’S TAKE A TRIP
DAME DE ESO QUE TÚ ESTÃS TOMANDO
VEN CONMIGO, I’LL BE SO GOOD FOR YOU
(AY-AY-AY)

April made way for May, and our annual trips to Boston and New York were flavored with this song. Over daydreams of idyllic scenes, Madonna and Maluma beckon us to Medellín a place I’ve never been, but one which I imagine is another sort of paradise. Their voices married, the harmonies are divine and the chorus is one big euphoric release. ‘Dos casamos’ indeed.

Like the very best Madonna songs, ‘Medellín‘ lifts us out of whatever mundane existence in which we may be living and drops us into the middle of aural paradise. The ultimate fantasy, where warm breezes rustle coconut trees, every beautiful shade of blue and green extends in endless ocean, and the flowers in bloom shed their perfume like a perpetually-discarded veil of silk.

SIPPING MY PAIN JUST LIKE CHAMPAGNE
FOUND MYSELF DANCING IN THE RAIN WITH YOU
I FELT SO NAKED AND ALIVE (SHOW ME)
FOR ONCE I DIDN’T HAVE TO HIDE MYSELF (DICE)

Madonna’s voice is reminiscent of her ‘Ray of Light’ work – careful and concise, at times almost shy and tentative in the most moving fashion – and though it’s tinged with a bit too much autotune for some old-school fans, I think it works rather well here. Maluma’s contributions work too, and the video illustrates some playful chemistry (and more cinematic scope than what she did on ‘Rebel Heart’ lead-off single ‘Living For Love‘).

We hosted friends for dinner as the summer traipsed onward. Andy grilled burgers and steaks and hot dogs and chicken. I assembled quinoa salads and preciously-filled cucumber cups. The plants on the patio filled in – a banana tree unfurled leaf after wondrous leaf, the angel’s trumpets lowered their pendulous blooms, and the ferns gently waved their green fronds in the slightest breeze. A summer spent in the backyard need not be lacking in beauty and calm; sometimes it is the only place to find both at once.

OYE MAMACITA, ÂQUÃ TE PASA? (DIME)
MIRA QUE YA ESTAMOS EN MI CASA (YEAH)
SI SIENTE’ QUE HAY UN VIAJE AHÃ EN TU MENTE (WOO)
SERÃ POR EL EXCESO DE AGUARDIENTE (DILE)
PERO, MAMI, TRANQUILA, TÚ SOLO VACILA
QUE ESTAMOS EN COLOMBIA, AQUÃ HAY RUMBA EN CADA ESQUINA
Y SI TÚ QUIERES NOS VAMOS POR DETROIT (TÚ SABE’)
SI SÃ DE DÃNDE VIENES PUES SÃ PA’ DONDE VOY

From her earliest songs (‘Everybody‘ and ‘Holiday’) through such classics as ‘La Isla Bonita‘ and ‘Where’s the Party‘ and all the way to ‘Get Together‘, ‘Celebration‘, and ‘Turn Up the Radio‘ Madonna has often been about escapist entertainment. The need to get away – just one day out of life – is too often undervalued and underrated, not unlike Madonna herself. In so many ways, we seem to have lost the understanding of the importance of rest and rejuvenation, of taking a break and doing nothing, all in the name of recharging and replenishing. Our souls are starving for such a respite.

VEN CONMIGO, LET’S TAKE A TRIP
SI TE LLEVO PA’ UN LUGAR LEJANO
VEN CONMIGO, I’LL BE SO GOOD FOR YOU
TE ENAMORO, TE ENAMORO, MAMI (AY-AY-AY)
VEN CONMIGO, LET’S TAKE A TRIP
DAME DE ESO QUE TÃ ESTAS TOMANDO
VEN CONMIGO, I’LL BE SO GOOD FOR YOU (OKAY)
SI TE ENAMORO (SI ME ENAMORAS)
EN MENOS DE UN AÑO, NO, NO (HAHAHA)
NO’ VAMO’, NO’ VAMO’, NO VAMO’ PA’ MEDALLO (AY, QUÃ RICO)
SI TE ENAMORO (SI ME ENAMORAS)
ES LO QUE AMO, NO, NO
PUE’ MAMI, PUE’ MAMI, PUE’ MAMI, NOS CASAMOS
(CHA-CHA-CHA)

Just as the summer seemed like it might linger forever, cooler nights slipped in. The ostrich ferns by the pool began to go brown – first just the tips, then the entire frond – shriveling in on themselves like the Wicked West of the East under her final resting place. The sweet potato vines, long since extending their chartreuse limbs all the way from the canopy to the ground, began to get straggly and spent. They looked tired. Soon – too soon, like always – the air of fall snuck in through the darkened edges of evening. Still we hung on. Still we cherished the sunlight, and most especially the moonlight, when it was warm enough to be outside looking up at the sky.

WE BUILT A CARTEL JUST FOR LOVE
VENUS WAS HOVERING ABOVE US (OH, YEAH)
I TOOK A TRIP, IT SET ME FREE (MI REINA)
FORGAVE MYSELF FOR BEING ME (AY-AY-AY)
VEN CONMIGO, LET’S TAKE A TRIP
SI TE LLEVO PA’ UN LUGAR LEJANO
VEN CONMIGO, I’LL BE SO GOOD FOR YOU
TE ENAMORO, TE ENAMORO, MAMI (AY-AY-AY)
VEN CONMIGO, LET’S TAKE A TRIP
DAME DE ESO QUE TÚ ESTÃS TOMANDO
VEN CONMIGO, I’LL BE SO GOOD FOR YOU
SI TE ENAMORO (SI ME ENAMORAS)
EN MENOS DE UN AÑO, NO, NO
NO’ VAMO’, NO’ VAMO’, NO VAMO’ PA’ MEDALLO (AY, QUÃ RICO)
SI TE ENAMORO (SI ME ENAMORAS)
ES LO QUE AMO, NO, NO
PUE’ MAMI, PUE’ MAMI, PUE’ MAMI, NOS CASAMOS

Thus Madonna ushered in her ‘Madame X’ opus, and thus she sang over the credits for the entire summer season. We splashed. We laughed. We read. We walked. We laid in the sun and listened to music. We visited with friends and sat around citronella candles. We celebrated the summer and the healing balm of its warmth.

It all feels so far away now.

The count-off ticks down.

We return to where we are.

Summer is no more.

ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE, TWO, SLOW DOWN, PAPI

Slow down, slow down, slow down…

The eternal chant and wish for summer to last.

The wish and hope riding high on a season.

The feeling riding high on a song.

We dance. We sing.

We fade out with a whisper…

ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA
ONE, TWO, AY-AY-AY
ONE, TWO, TWO, ONE
ONE, TWO, TWO, ONE
ONE, ONE, TWO, TWO
CHA, CHA-CHA-CHA

SONG #158 – ‘Medellín’ ~ Spring/Summer 2019

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Dear Madonna: We’re On A Break

The post sent shockwaves through my FaceBook page, and I wrote it out rather hastily upon learning that Madonna had cancelled all of her Boston tour dates. (I had great seats for the first scheduled night.) Once I was sure that my hotel room could be refunded, however, I calmed the disappointment and anger I felt and moved quickly into acceptance and some silver-lining-seeking (the biggest boon of which was the grand sum of $1100 that was now headed back into my bank account at a time of the year when I need it the most).

Quite frankly, I wasn’t as devastated as I once would have been. This wasn’t my first Madonna show, and after seeing her as many times as I have it’s not the end of the world. And while I was excited and eagerly anticipating getting to see her on such an intimate level, I’ve always enjoyed the big spectacle she puts on, and this sounded like it was a completely different animal.

Then there was the late start time. We purchased tix for an 8 PM show. After appearing two-plus hours late on a regular basis, she changed the start time to 10:30 PM. And even then she was starting way beyond that, bringing the end time close to 1:30 to 2 AM in the morning. Good luck getting a T at that hour. (Hence the planned room across the street at the W Hotel.)

The Madame X Tour has been rife with injuries and difficulties, some of which was genuinely beyond her control, but some of which was simply poor planning or poor execution, and at this point in her career, and my life, I don’t need the bother of such nonsense.

That doesn’t mean I don’t still love Madonna.

I do.

I always will.

But we are very much on a brief break right now, and that’s ok.

The Madonna Timeline will return this weekend, just to prove that things are good.

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Meeting Madame X…

UPDATE: This post was written prior to Madonna canceling all her Boston tour dates (including the one I was scheduled to see). As you might be able to tell, I never had full faith that this show would go on, so I’m not totally butthurt by it. But more on that in a later post… come back for that one. In the meantime, here’s a bittersweet post that was written when there was still hope in the world.

Tomorrow marks the ninth time I will (hopefully) see Madonna live. With her ‘Madame X’ tour getting knocked about a bit – those super-late start times, those canceled first-shows in every city, that pesky knee injury – I’m not counting on anything, but if anyone can power through and put on a good show, it’s Madonna. From all accounts (none through cel phones since they aren’t allowed) this one features her latest album quite heavily, which is what she does best for her die-hard fans. (I still remember the magnificence of the ‘Drowned World Tour’ where she neglected most of her hits for her new songs – and it remains my favorite live outing.) Luckily, the ‘Madame X’ album is filled with pretty solid stuff, and I’m told the weaker songs benefit from the elevation of her live performance. 

In celebration of all that, here are a few Madonna Timeline links that should fuel your desire to hear such wonders play out in a theatrical setting:

~ ‘Express Yourself
~ ‘Vogue
~ ‘Future
~ ‘Batuka
~ ‘American Life
~ ‘Papa Don’t Preach
~ ‘Extreme Occident
~ ‘God Control

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Give Her a Record, She’ll Break It

Say whatever ageist, sexist, misogynistic shit you want about Madonna, her legacy has already been carved in stone, and she’s been making new etches as we speak. She just earned her self-record-breaking 49th#1 Billboard Dance Club Song with ‘Crave‘ off the magnificent ‘Madame X’ opus, so spin on that for a bit. Let’s revisit the long list of dance floor hits that the Lady has enjoyed and see how many have popped up on the Madonna Timeline thus far.

1983~ Holiday/Lucky Star

1984~ Like a Virgin

1985~ Material Girl

1985~ Angel/Into the Groove

1987~ Open Your Heart

1987~ Causing a Commotion

1988~ You Can Dance (LP Cuts)

1989~ Like a Prayer

1989~ Express Yourself

1990~ Keep It Together

1990~ Vogue

1991~ Justify My Love

1992~ Erotica

1993~ Deeper and Deeper  

1993~ Fever

1994~ Secret

1995~ Bedtime Story

1997~ Don’t Cry for Me Argentina

1998~ Frozen

1998~ Ray of Light

1999~ Nothing Really Matters

1999~ Beautiful Stranger

2000~ American Pie

2000~ Music

2001~ Don’t Tell Me

2001~ What It Feels Like for a Girl 

2001~ Impressive Instant

2002~ Die Another Day

2003~ American Life

2003~ Hollywood

2003~ Me Against the Music, Britney Spears featuring Madonna

2004~ Nothing Fails

2004~ Love Profusion

2005~ Hung Up

2006~ Sorry

2006~ Get Together

2006~ Jump

2008~ 4 Minutes, Madonna & Justin Timberlake

2008~ Give It 2 Me

2009~ Celebration  

2012~ Give Me All Your Luvin’

2012~ Girl Gone Wild

2012~ Turn Up the Radio

2015~ Living for Love

2015~ Ghosttown

2015~ Bitch I’m Madonna

2019~ Medellin, Madonna & Maluma

2019~ I Rise

2019~ Crave, Madonna & Swae Lee

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A Sexual Anniversary

On this date in 1992, Madonna released her infamous ‘Sex’ book to cacophonous commotion, bank-busting sales, and critical disdain. I loved every part of it, from the messy spiral-bound metal cover to the pop-art design. While my love for Madonna has always been about the music, I appreciated the artful envelope-pushing she was doing, even if I was personally more into dick than pussy. For that reason, I may have appreciated the book as a work of art rather than some pornographic foray into getting off. (At $50 a pop surely there were cheaper ways to blow your wad, at least in 1992, no?)

Getting the book was one of my favorite high school memories, thanks to Ann and her Mom, and it’s more fully recounted here. Better yet was the lasting effect the book had on me, inspiring my own creative endeavors and releasing any Catholic inhibitions that clung to my own sexual awakening. Madonna made it ok to explore. More thrillingly, she showed me what it was like to inhabit different characters without losing your own singular identity. It was a mechanism of coping, a stance of power, a way of escape. Trickster-like she slithered through various guises as a snake sheds skins, and Dita Parlo was one of her most entrancing alter-egos. She was also one of her most controversial ~ gold-teeth, black mask and whip included. She wielded her sexuality like a weapon, her body an armed vessel that was ready to entice and enrapture as she saw fit, and she took total command and control over whatever pose or position she assumed. It was a powerful image for a young gay guy to witness – and my affinity with strong females was cast as indelibly as the word ‘SEX’ on that metallic cover.

The accompanying ‘Erotica’ album was a treasure trove of aural delights and sonic orgasms, from the dirty grittiness of the title track to the existential wanderings of final song ‘Secret Garden’. Everything that came between was pretty hot too; see the full track-listing below:

  1. Erotica
  2. Fever
  3. Bye Bye Baby
  4. Deeper and Deeper
  5. Where Life Begins
  6. Bad Girl
  7. Waiting
  8. Thief of Hearts
  9. Words
  10. Rain
  11. Why’s It So Hard
  12. In This Life
  13. Did You Do It?
  14. Secret Garden

That time in my life was fraught with adolescent trauma, suicidal tendencies, and the general uneasiness found at the end of October. It was the time of the year when rainstorms would rip whatever leaves remained on the trees, stripping them naked in the night and leaving them bare for the brutal cold of the morning. Erotica ran hot and cold like that – an overheated orgiastic frenzy of physical connection one moment, a frigid, distant, lonely, terrifying isolation the next.

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How to Put On A Proper Girlie Show

When public opinion was at one of the lower points in Madonna’s storied career (following the ‘Erotica‘ album and ‘Sex‘ book) she did what she best and went on tour. It was called ‘The Girlie Show’ and instead of shying away from all the sex (as she would more convincingly do with ‘Bedtime Stories‘) she confronted it with warmth and showgirlship in a live show that played extremely limited venues in North America.

Compared to what fans are reportedly getting on her Madame X Tour, The Girlie Show is practically a greatest hits package. Sure, it was heavy on the ‘Erotica’ album, but the rest was pretty much a steady hit list (ok, minus the never-gonna-not-be-ridiculous ‘I’m Going Bananas’). Check it out below.

  1. Erotica
  2. Fever
  3. Vogue
  4. Rain
  5. Express Yourself
  6. Deeper and Deeper
  7. Why’s it So Hard
  8. In This Life
  9. Beast Within
  10. Like A Virgin
  11. Bye Bye Baby
  12. I’m Going Bananas
  13. La Isla Bonita
  14. Holiday
  15. Justify My Love
  16. Everybody

At a crossroads in her career, she went back to her safe place: the live performance. Because no matter what you might think of her, nobody puts on a show quite like Madonna.

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #157 – ‘Illuminati’ ~ Summer 2015

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Once upon a summer I threw an Illuminati Party. Ignorant of the ways of the illuminati, I only wanted to wear a crazy costume of faux deer antlers and inspire intrigue in the midst of a mid-summer night. This song provided the soundtrack for the costumed event, swirling about in frenzied delight and damnation, its beats skittering and frenetic. The invitations invoked the stereotypical idea most of us have of the illuminati, which is all a party invitation can really do; if you want depth look into a project or something more lasting than a party. Yet for party themes, this one was as good as any, and afforded guests the opportunity to dress up in whatever surreal get-up they wished.

IT’S NOT JAY-Z AND BEYONCÉ
IT’S NOT NICKI OR LIL WAYNE
IT’S NOT OPRAH AND OBAMA
THE POPE AND RIHANNA
QUEEN ELIZABETH OR KANYE
IT’S NOT PENTAGRAMS OR WITCHCRAFT
IT’S NOT TRIANGLES OR STACKS OF CASH
BLACK MAGIC OR GAGA
GUCCI OR PRADA
RIDING ON THE GOLDEN CALF

The chaotic drama surrounding the leaked release of Madonna’s ‘Rebel Heart’ album finds its musical accompaniment in this crazy track (and crazy in a crazy-good way). It’s an intriguing cut that sounds better than it really should. Parts of it remind one of a barking dog, parts are grating, parts are beautiful, and parts are puzzling. It almost comes together, and then it does, and then it falls apart before reassembling again. Schizo in the best and worst ways. Not unlike a summer party, when moon-drenched madness threatens drama at every turn, and romantic dalliances are just as likely to occur as knock-down-drag-out fights are. That’s summer. No one escapes the heat.

THE ALL-SEEING EYE IS WATCHING TONIGHT
THAT’S WHAT IT IS
TRUTH AND THE LIGHT
THE ALL-SEEING EYE IS WATCHING TONIGHT
NOTHING TO HIDE
THE SECRET’S INSIDE
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI
IT’S THE ENLIGHTENMENT THAT STARTED IT ALL
THE FOUNDING FATHERS WROTE IT DOWN ON THE WALL
AND NOW THE MEDIA’S MISLEADING US ALL
TURNED RIGHT INTO WRONG

A towering angel’s trumpet lowers its pendulous blooms to eye-level, releasing its intoxicating lemon-like fragrance into the heavy air. What poison carries on its perfume? What spells does such sweetness cast? A sense of the lurid hides behind each smile, a bee ready to sting lurks in each blossom. In the summer darkness, everything turns dangerous. The pool lures chipmunks and toads to their watery graves, like the candlelight brings moths to their fiery ends. We dive beneath to escape the licking flames. No one is safe in a summer night.

IT’S TIME TO DANCE AND TURN THIS DARK INTO SOMETHIN’
SO LET THE FIRE BURN, THIS MUSIC IS BUMPIN’
WE’RE GONNA LIVE FOREVER, LOVE NEVER DIES
IT STARTS TONIGHT…

Picasso and Dali turned the world upside down, tugged at its natural order, and disturbed time so much that it literally melted before our eyes. A new world order indeed… The very best artists set such disturbances into motion. The proverbial butterfly flutters its wings in pretty, menacing fashion. The other side of the earth shudders and waits.

BEHIND THE CURTAIN OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER
IT’S NOT PLATINUM ENCRYPTED CORNERS
IT’S NOT ISIS OR THE PHOENIX
PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT
DON’T MAKE IT INTO SOMETHING SORDID
IT’S NOT STEVE JOBS OR BILL GATES
IT’S NOT THE GOOGLE OF UNITED STATES
IT’S NOT BIEBER OR LEBRON
CLINTON OR OBAMA
OR ANYONE YOU’D LOVE TO HATE
THE ALL-SEEING EYE IS WATCHING TONIGHT
THAT’S WHAT IT IS
TRUTH AND THE LIGHT
THE ALL-SEEING EYE IS WATCHING TONIGHT
NOTHING TO HIDE
THE SECRET’S INSIDE
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI

For the Rebel Heart Tour, Madonna used this song as a late-hour interlude. Her dancers climbed atop impossibly flexible poles, which soon swayed and turned to their own fantastical form. Defying gravity and physics (or masterfully employing them as the case may be) they were a show unto themselves, because even when she’s absent the stage, Madonna knows how to entertain.

YOU KNOW THAT EVERYTHING THAT GLITTERS AIN’T GOLD
SO LET THE MUSIC TAKE YOU OUT OF CONTROL
IT’S TIME TO FEEL IT IN YOUR BODY AND SOUL
COME ON, LET’S GO
WE’RE GONNA DANCE AND TURN THE DARK INTO SOMETHIN’
SO LET THE FIRE BURN, THIS MUSIC IS BUMPIN’
WE’RE GONNA LIVE FOREVER, LOVE NEVER DIES
IT STARTS TONIGHT
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI
IT’S LIKE EVERYBODY IN THIS PARTY’S SHINING LIKE ILLUMINATI

SONG #157: ‘Illuminati’ – Summer 2015

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #156 – ‘Extreme Occident’ ~ Summer 2019

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

I WENT TO THE FAR RIGHT
THEN I WENT TO THE FAR LEFT
I TRIED TO RECOVER MY CENTER OF GRAVITY
I GUESS I’M LOST
I HAD TO PAY THE COST
THE THING THAT HURT ME MOST
WAS THAT I WASN’T LOST

The current ‘Madame X’ run we have going remains unbroken, as this marks the fifth Madonna Timeline in a row from the latest album. I was just about to suffer from some overplaying fatigue – a danger for any new Madonna album – but this has jolted me into an early Renaissance of celebrating that recent release. This is one of the more intriguing songs on ‘Madame X’ – with an old-world sound and ambivalent lyrics. Madonna returns to the well-tread (perhaps overdone) circle metaphor, but that is the only time when things dip a bit. The sparse arrangement of plucked strings and piano is a slice of atmospheric charm and drama, with searching lyrics that find Madonna ricocheting through time and space, touching on her own history, with a Wizard-of-Oz-like denouement.

I CAME FROM THE MIDWEST
THEN I WENT TO THE FAR EAST
I TRIED TO DISCOVER MY OWN IDENTITY
I GUESS I’M LOST
I PAID A HANDSOME COST
THE THING THAT HURT THE MOST
WAS THAT I WASN’T LOST
I WASN’T LOST

In a sunny summer dominated by the ‘Madame X’ album, this was a reminder that summer could go dark, and ruminations on finding oneself could run deep. Self-exploration and self-examination have earned dirty named for themselves in our selfie-obsessed society, but there is room for them when the intent is pure and the goal is noble and genuine.

{Spoiler alert: life is a circle.}

NO, I WASN’T LOST
IT WAS A DIFFERENT FEELING
A MIX OF LUCIDITY AND CRAZINESS
BUT I WASN’T LOST, YOU BELIEVE ME
I WAS RIGHT, AND I’VE GOT THE RIGHT
TO CHOOSE MY OWN LIFE LIKE A FULL CIRCLE
LIFE IS A CIRCLE, LIFE IS A CIRCLE, LIFE IS A CIRCLE, LIFE IS A CIRCLE
LIFE IS A CIRCLE, LIFE IS A CIRCLE, LIFE IS A CIRCLE, LIFE IS A CIRCLE

Alone in a strange country… isn’t that everyone at some point? Even if you’ve never left home, there are moments when we all feel like a stranger, even in our own space, even in our native land. We are but visitors on this earth. Transient beings who will be turned over into the earth without much fanfare or remembrance. Not in the grand scheme of things, not in the infinite history of the universe. And such is the danger of ‘Extreme Occident’ if you let it get that far. Such is its beauty, too.

AQUILO QUE MAIS MAGOA
QUE EU NÃO ESTAVA PERDIDA
AQUILO QUE MAIS MAGOA
QUE EU NÃO ESTAVA PERDIDA
 
SONG #156: ‘Extreme Occident’ – Summer 2019
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Madgical Moodiness

Album anniversaries bring back all sorts of memories, particularly Madonna album anniversaries. This time of year it’s all about the magnificent moodiness of the ‘Music’ album. Casual listeners may only know and remember the banging title track, but Madonna herself proclaimed the album much too moody to hear in the middle of the day. That’s my kind of music. It also brings back all sorts of happy memories, mostly because of ‘Music’ – which came out just as Andy and I were starting to date. I still remember standing near the bar at Mainestreet as a remix of ‘Music’ came on – to this day it’s a thrill when a Madonna song comes on (and it seems to be more and more rare).

Second single ‘Don’t Tell Me’ was an instant Madonna mantra – a song of defiance, a song of love – and sonically cemented the ‘Music’ album’s legacy of electro-folk fusion. It also kept things in the family with a writing credit from Madonna’s own brother-in-law Joe Henry. Keep it together, indeed. While ‘What It Feels Like For a Girl’ was the third single – with its Guy Ritchie-directed video of violence – I preferred the rush of ‘Impressive Instant’ or the hushed drama of ‘Paradise (Not For Me)’ and even the William Orbit throwback ‘Amazing.’ (Orbit also worked on ‘Runaway Lover.’)

Mirwais, who would return for the ‘American Life’ and ‘Madame X’ albums, spun his first straw into gold with ‘Music’ – his tell-tale sound is wailing on the sirens for ‘I Deserve It’ and the vocal distortions of ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ – and it was the world’s first introduction to the chemistry between M & M.

All in all, the ‘Music’ album is a mini-masterpiece, and that was no easy feat given that it was the follow-up to the majestic ‘Ray of Light’. It doesn’t quite reach the lofty heights of that one, but it takes its place proudly in the Madonna canon, probably in the mid to mid-high range – on a par with ‘Bedtime Stories’ perhaps. It came out at the very start of fall, when the days were still bright and the air crisp, when a new beginning was possible all over again, just as one summer season was ending.

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #155 ~ ‘Faz Gostoso’ – Summer 2019

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

One of the stronger cuts, and definitely one of the most fun, from the ‘Madame X’ album, this is Madonna (with some help from Anitta) putting on a proper shredder complete with a carnival plunked right in the middle of the party proceedings. It deserves to be heard and celebrated rather than analyzed, which means this Madonna Timeline will be short and to the point so we can abandon ourselves to the glory at hand.

I have no idea what she’s saying or what any of it means, I just know that I love it and it makes me want to dance. The best songs cut through words and literal meaning to hit at the very heart and soul, something raw and powerful and driving, and that’s what this is to me.

For more ‘Madame X’ music, check out the timelines for ‘Batuka‘, ‘Killers Who Are Partying‘ and ‘Future.’ And trust me when I say that even better stuff is on the way

SONG #155 – ‘Faz Gostoso‘ ~ Summer 2019
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The Madonna Timeline: Song #154 – ‘Batuka’ ~ Summer 2019

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

IT’S A LONG WAY (IT’S A LONG WAY)
IT’S A LONG WAY (IT’S A LONG WAY)
IT’S A LONG DAY (IT’S A LONG DAY)
IT’S A LONG DAY (IT’S A LONG DAY)

LORD HAVE MERCY (LORD HAVE MERCY)
THINGS HAVE GOT TO CHANGE (THINGS HAVE GOT TO CHANGE)
THERE’S A STORM AHEAD (THERE’S A STORM AHEAD)
I HEAR THE WIND BLOWING (I HEAR THE WIND BLOWING)
LET ME CATCH MY BREATH (LET ME CATCH MY BREATH)
WILL WE WIN THIS RACE? (WILL WE WIN THIS RACE?)
SWEAR THE ROAD IS LONG (SWEAR THE ROAD IS LONG)
AND THE HIGHWAY LISTENS (AND THE HIGHWAY LISTENS)
‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG WAY (‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG WAY)

Madonna’s magnificent ‘Madame X’ album ushered in this summer season, which made for some happy music and some gloriously sunny days. How many more Madonna albums will christen a summer? I’m not sure it will happen again. (The quintessential Madonna summer album is, and remains, ‘True Blue’ – but I’d venture that ‘Madame X’ comes close (consider future timeline entries ‘Crazy’, ‘Crave’, and ‘Come Alive’ – all carry an easy-breezy summer vibe.) That leads us to the latest official timeline post: ‘Batuka’ – which joins ‘Future‘ and ‘Killers Who Are Partying‘ as a modern-moment music recollection.

I WAS UP ALL NIGHT
I SAID A LITTLE PRAYER
GET THAT OLD MAN
PUT HIM IN A JAIL
WHERE HE CAN’T STOP US (WHERE HE CAN’T STOP US)
WHERE HE CAN’T HURT US (WHERE HE CAN’T HURT US)
WE WILL STAND TALL (WE WILL STAND TALL)
UNDERNEATH THIS TREE (UNDERNEATH THIS TREE)
‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG WAY (‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG WAY)
IT’S A LONG WAY (IT’S A LONG WAY)
‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG DAY (‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG DAY)
IT’S A LONG DAY
BUT WHEN WE CAN STOP IT ALL (BUT WHEN WE CAN STOP IT ALL)
IN THE RIGHT WAY (IN THE RIGHT WAY)
WILL WE STAND TOGETHER? (WILL WE STAND TOGETHER?)
IT’S A NEW DAY (IT’S A NEW DAY)
SO DON’T JUDGE A HUMAN (SO DON’T JUDGE A HUMAN)
‘TIL YOU’RE IN THEIR SHOES (‘TIL YOU’RE IN THEIR SHOES)
IF YOU HAVE A DREAM (IF YOU HAVE A DREAM)
THEN YOU CAN’T STOP US (THEN YOU CAN’T STOP US)

The call-and-response chant that will likely form a rousing portion of her upcoming theatre tour is the best part of ‘Batuka’ – and while the conceit has its limits and repetitive drawbacks, it proves effective enough, and this song gives the ‘Madame X’ album part of its world-music pedigree. The video is a joyous celebration of the beauty that Madonna found in other parts of the world. You have to love her for that, and this one grows on you like some of her best summer music.

SING, “HALLELUJAH” (SING, “HALLELUJAH”)
SAY, “AMEN” (SAY, “AMEN”)
SING, “HALLELUJAH” (SING, “HALLELUJAH”)
AND SAY, “AMEN” (AND SAY, “AMEN”)
I SAY, “OH, YEAH” (I SAY, “OH, YEAH”)
I SAID, “OH, YEAH” (I SAID, “OH, YEAH”)
I SAY, “AMEN” (I SAY, “AMEN”)
I SING, “HALLELUJAH” (I SING, “HALLELUJAH”)
‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG WAY (‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG WAY)
IT’S A LONG WAY (IT’S A LONG WAY)
‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG DAY (‘CAUSE IT’S A LONG DAY)
IT’S A LONG DAY 

SONG #154: ‘Batuka’ – Summer 2019

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M’s Birthday: A Linky Look Back

Madonna celebrates her birthday today, and later on I’ll post the newest Madonna Timeline (another entry from her ‘Madame X’ album). This post is all about looking back for a bit, as some birthdays tend to be. I’m hard-pressed to think of someone who’s been such a consistent source of inspiration over the years as Madonna has been to me. It’s difficult to equate her, and those fans of her who have stuck by for over three decades, with any other artist or experience. It’s a singular thing because performers like Madonna are a dying breed – quite literally. There’s also no one else who has maintained such a lofty place in pop culture for such an extended period of time, and while she may not have all the tweens dressing up like her anymore, most modern-day pop stars admittedly owe their paths and ambitions to the trail she blazed.

The lady requires no further justification for my love, so on her birthday I’m simply going to let a few random Madonna Timeline entries speak for the celebratory joy she has always brought to my life.

Let’s begin with, well, a Celebration.

A moment of tarnished innocence through which we might Live to Tell.

This clarion call to Express Yourself.

For whenever the world wants to Wash All Over Me.

After three decades it’s still about Survival.

Unlocking The Power of Goodbye.

I’m Addicted to her inspiration.

After all this, she still manages to make me feel Like A Virgin.

And then she’ll make a wish Like A Prayer.

And flit away like a Ray of Light.

Even in a Drowned World: Substitute for Love she reveals herself Inside Out.

Open Your Heart,” she pleaded, unashamed to say that she was ‘Crazy For You‘ all the while knowing full well that you’re Frozen when your heart’s not open.

Happy Birthday, M.

(I always knew you would last.)

PS – You’ve got to just… Vogue.

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