Category Archives: Madonna

The Madonna Timeline: Song #173 – ‘God Control’ ~ Summer 2019

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Everybody knows the damn truthOur nation lied, we lost respectWhen we wake up, what can we do?Get the kids ready, take them to schoolEverybody knows they don’t have a chanceTo get a decent job, to have a normal lifeWhen they talk reforms, it makes me laughThey pretend to help, it makes me laughI think I understand why people get a gunI think I understand why we all give upEvery day they have a kind of victoryBlood of innocence, spread everywhereThey say that we need loveBut we need more than this…

One of the absolute highlights of Madonna’s somewhat-underappreciated (and some might say somewhat-underwhelming) ‘Madame X’ album is ‘God Control’ – a masterpiece of a sonic journey, complete with choir and tongue-in-cheek rapping, that comes with the last great video she’s given us. Give it another listen and viewing below:

We lost God controlWe lost God controlWe lost God controlWe lost God control

This song, and the entire thought-provoking ‘Madame X’ album, brings me back to the summer of 2019 – in so many ways a last summer of innocence, and a last summer before the world went bonkers. Maybe it’s just me getting old, and maybe people always say this as time moves on, but I do genuinely feel that things are different. Society – especially American society – has changed, and it doesn’t seem for the better.

This is your wake-up callI’m like your nightmareI’m here to start your dayThis is your wake-up callWe don’t have to fallA new democracyGod and pornographyA new democracy…

The rise of America’s gun culture, and the apparently unswaying way we are all letting people, including children, just succumb to something that could be so easily stopped is one more tell-tale sign of these changes. Madonna tackled the subject in this song and video, switching out ‘Gun Control’ for ‘God Control‘ because religion plays its part in where we have been, and where we are headed. A hypocritical religion, perhaps, but a religion nonetheless. 

People think that I’m insaneThe only gun is in my brainEach new birth, it gives me hopeThat’s why I don’t smoke that dopeInsane people think I amBrain inside, my only friendHope it gives me birth each newThat dope I don’t smoke, it’s true…

Only Madonna could turn such a controversial topic into a video that is transfixing, enthralling, entertaining, disturbing, and impossible-not-to-watch. At four decades into an unprecedented career of entertainment domination, she’s mastered the art form of the video – hell, she practically invented it – and it remains one of the most vital methods of communicating her message. Images aligned with music, backed with meaning and significance, taking us on a journey of light and dark… this is what Madonna does best. 

Everybody knows the damn truthEverybody knows the damn truth (wake up)We need to wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake upWake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake upWe need to make up, make up, make up, make upMake up, make up, make up, make up, make up, make upIt’s a hustle, yeahIt’s a hustleIt’s a conIt’s a hustleIt’s a weird kind of energyA bizarre thing that happens to beAn abnormal fraternityAnd I feel more than sympathy

A message that was depressingly resonant and needed in 2019 has become a message that rings with even greater loss and rage in 2023. Thoughts and prayers have done nothing over the past four years, and will continue to do nothing. Gun violence is the number one killer of children in America. So while you’re worried about drag queens reading books to your kids or an imaginary war on Christianity, ask yourself what Jesus might do when confronted with an epidemic like guns. Pretty sure he wouldn’t be arming himself with an AR-15. 

A new democracy!
Everybody knows the damn truthOur nation lied, we’ve lost respectWhen we wake up, what can we do?Get the kids ready, take them to schoolEverybody knows they don’t have a chanceGet a decent job, have a normal lifeWhen they talk reform, it makes me laughThey pretend to help, it makes me laugh…

And so we laugh, and so we float along… In that summer of 2019, my niece and nephew join us for a swim in the pool. Laughing and splashing, the carefree memories of childhood encroach on the present moment, and I remember a time when kids weren’t getting shot in schools. The water is warm, the sun is strong, and, based on all outward appearances, who can tell a summer day by the pool today from a summer day by the pool forty years ago? A disco tune still spins in the background, the gleeful squeals of kids having fun punctuate the beat, and that funny juxtaposition of laughter and tears reminds me that the world has gone mad, and I no longer know how not to go mad along with it. 

Song #173 – ‘God Control’ ~ Summer 2019

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Madonna, Back Stateside

Madonna resumes her epic ‘Celebration Tour’ today with her first North American date, and I’m hoping she remains healthy and in performance shape for her Boston dates. After she canceled all of her Boston stops of the ‘Madame X Tour’ I’m not holding my breath, but I’m hopeful. And if I end up having to have a Madonna party of one in the condo, so be it. 

In honor of her ‘Celebration Tour’ (which doesn’t quite include all the requested hits as listed out here) let’s have a look back at some seminal Madonna moments, some of which play an integral part in the new show. 

Let’s kick it off with this ‘Celebration’!

What are you looking at? Strike a pose!

Nothing makes the darkness go like the light.

The light that you could never see.

I see you on the street and you walk on by

Say goodbye to not knowing when the truth in my whole life began.

And I don’t know where to start, what can I do? I don’t want to feel blue…

True blue, baby, I love you!

This is not a love song. You fucked it up.

I fucked up. I made a mistake. Nobody does it better than myself. I’m sorry

If you give me respect, then you’ll know what to expect

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Holiday, Masturbation, Come Together in Every Nation!

So, the real line goes, ‘Holiday, celebration, come together in every nation’ and it was immortalized in Madonna’s ‘Truth or Dare’ (read: Blonde Ambition) version of ‘Holiday’, but the title of a blog post has to be more catchy than that. Now that we have officially entered the Christmas season, let’s fire up this seasonally-appropriate chestnut.

“Should we give it one more time for the states, girls? Shall we try to have a holiday?”

This song, this video, this fucking time in my life… it all just screams for an escape, doesn’t it? And for all the fuckery that has circled wildly about me like a goddam hurricane for the past forty years or so, I remain the calm eye, even as the inside begins its own swirl. Whenever it feels like too much, I think of this song, and in my mind I dance, while rooting myself like a stone at the bottom of a river. All around me, I feel the raging, the rushing, the drowning… all the madness of a world that no longer resembles anything I once knew. 

Alas, the holidays are here whether we like it or not, and acting like a stone at the bottom of a river isn’t going to make them go away (in literal terms it would likely just kill you). I won’t subject you to a lengthy list of links to all the holiday posts that have been here before (that’s what a post like this is for). I will instead leave you with all the links already highlighted in blue for you to peruse or ignore at your own time, enjoyment and peril.

PS – Do the bus-stop!

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Bedtime by Madonna

The only reason for this post is to show off this out-take from the ‘Bedtime Stories’ photo sessions by Patrick Demarchelier – as we have already celebrated the ‘Bedtime Stories’ album in fuller form. This is the time of the year that reminds me of that record, when the chill of November really kicks in, and the realization that there’s no going back to summer now fills one with a bit of dread. Even the sunny days now are aligned with a bit of somber starkness – all bare tree limbs and brown, wilted bedding plants. The season of slumber is at hand. 

Madonna was in a downtrodden and plaintive mood during the fall of 1994, and it was reflected in the music, and the moody atmosphere. A reminder of the Madonna Timeline entries from that sleeper of an album:

  1. Survival
  2. Secret
  3. I’d Rather Be Your Lover
  4. Don’t Stop
  5. Inside of Me
  6. Human Nature
  7. Forbidden Love
  8. Love Tried to Welcome Me
  9. Sanctuary
  10. Bedtime Story
  11. Take A Bow
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An Anniversary Ripe for Slumber

‘Twas on this date that Madonna released one of the pivotal albums of her career, ‘Bedtime Stories’, and did it in the most subversive and quiet way, restoring the intrigue and mystery that often accompanied her musical motions. In many circles, the album is considered a mini-comeback in the aftermath of the ‘Erotica’ album and ‘Sex‘ book; true fans considered both ‘Erotica‘ and ‘Bedtime Stories’ masterpieces in their own respects. They are two very different beasts, but both are grounded din the singular wisdom and outlook of a woman who has been, at various points, all women. (And a few men too, for that matter.) 

‘Bedtime Stories’ has alway personified fall for me, specifically a very precious fall in which I shared my very first kiss with a man. Rife with drama that’s been very thoroughly-explored here it was a time in which Madonna’s musical output matched my own personal journey, which melds music with memory, and some of these songs immediately bring me back to those tumultuous times. Click on the songs to see if they trigger any fall memories of yours. 

  1. Survival
  2. Secret
  3. I’d Rather Be Your Lover
  4. Don’t Stop
  5. Inside of Me
  6. Human Nature
  7. Forbidden Love
  8. Love Tried to Welcome Me
  9. Sanctuary
  10. Bedtime Story
  11. Take A Bow

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A Queen Resurrected

Near the brink of death just a few short months ago, Madonna has returned in fine form by all accounts, opening her ‘Celebration Tour‘ at the age of 65 and performing a cavalcade of hits that remind of her vaunted and hard-won status as the pre-eminent pop queen. Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Dua Lipa, Olivia Rodrigo and name-your-current-iconic-goddess all owe a little something to Madonna for blazing the trail before them. 

‘The Celebration Tour’ is getting largely-glowing reviews, and the clips I’ve seen (spoiler alert!) show her at her vocal best on such favorites as ‘Bad Girl‘, ‘Crazy For You‘ and ‘Mother & Father‘. True fans have loved every Madonna tour, especially the ones that are album-based rather than hit-oriented (her ‘Drowned World Tour‘ remains my favorite thanks to its focus on the majestic ‘Ray of Light’ album). This time around she is doling out the hits more than the current stuff, meaning there is something spectacular for everyone – and the fans seem to dig it too. 

I’m hoping she makes it back to Boston this winter – I missed her the last time around. Welcome back, Queen. 

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #172 – ‘Don’t Stop’ ~ Fall 1994

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

A quintessential fall album, coming out during one of the most indelible falls of my youth, ‘Bedtime Stories‘ was the soundtrack of a pivotal period in my life. This little soft-focus disco ditty was one of the few upbeat moments in a relatively moody atmospheric album, although ‘Don’t Stop’ felt like one of those unremarkable filler tracks designed to puff out a Madonna album so more solid material like ‘Secret‘ or ‘Survival‘ could shine. Hearing it now brings me back to that time period, to that tricky fall when I shared my very first kiss with a man

Get up on the dance floor, everything is groovin’Get up on the dance floor, got to see you movin’Let the music shake you, let the rhythm take youFeel it in your body, sing la dee da dee

While much of that fall involved experiences with other people, the majority of my time was spent alone – walking the streets of Boston, riding the commuter rail between Boston and Brandeis, writing papers and creating projects in my dorm room within Usen Castle. A sense of loneliness pervaded the chilly air, even as I refused to allow myself to feel lonely; the notion of giving in to that, of being lonely, was an abyss that terrified me more than I can or could explain. It scared me to the point that I backed away from it as soon as I felt it drawing near. Like death.
Don’t stop doin’ what you’re doin’ babyDon’t stop, keep movin’, keep groovin’Don’t stop doin’ what you’re doin’ babyDon’t stop, keep movin’, keep groovin’

Such darkness came with the descent of fall, with its early evenings and frosty mornings – the shock of it after the ease of summer, the way it took one’s breath away – the advent of autumn was still a surprise at that time in my life. The ‘Bedtime Stories’ album set an evocative tone with lush orchestral tracks like ‘Love Tried to Welcome Me’, ‘Forbidden Love‘ and ‘Take A Bow‘, while the hazy atmosphere of ‘Inside of Me’ and ‘Sanctuary’ spoke to the private cocoon I’d wrapped around myself, isolating my daily existence from classmates and people in general. The contradiction of not wanting to be lonely and not wanting to be around people was apparent – I just didn’t find a way to put it into words. In some ways, I was happier bopping about alone in my room to a song like this and imagining being around friends and lovers than actually putting such imagined scenes into action. 

Come on join the party, let the bass line pump youBring your body over, baby let me bump youI know I can groove you, you know I can move youFeel it in your body, sing la dee da dee
It was a haunted time, one that I’ve already written about so much it feels more like a book I once read than a life I once led. It’s not a time or place I’d like to dwell, and so we return to the modern day, and the present moment, and a song with the sentiment of ‘Don’t Stop’ carries more resonance on this day, as Madonna kicks off her new Celebration World Tour, proving that she is more concerned with walking her walk than talking her talk. 
Don’t stop doin’ what you’re doin’ babyDon’t stop, keep movin’, keep groovin’Don’t stop doin’ what you’re doin’ babyDon’t stop, keep movin’, keep groovin’
Song #172 – ‘Don’t Stop’ ~ Fall 1994

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Promising

Today marks Madonna’s 65th birthday, and she just announced her re-scheduled tour dates for North America, which moves my August 31 show to the lovely date of January 9, 2024. That jaunty shorts-and-sleeveless-t-shirt look I adopt for all her concerts will likely prove problematic for Boston in January so I’m not sure what I’ll do, or whether I’ll even go. She canceled outright the last time I had tix for her Madame X Tour, so I’m not completely confident she’ll show for this one. 

Anyway, of late my posts have been understandably heavy and serious, and I was trying to be a little more light-hearted with this birthday girl post, but not even Madonna has gone untouched by tragedy, and so I’m posting one of my favorite songs from her – the one that turned me into a super-fan after years of flirtatiously enjoying her music but never quite succumbing to fanaticism. That all changed when I found this song on the ‘Like A Prayer’ album

It feels like a good moment to re-examine it, and it speaks differently to me these days. Before I even knew real tragedy, I felt a kinship with it, an affinity with the darker, shadowy side of things, and as a kid I foolishly cuddled up to it, daring life to afflict me in some way, not understanding how it already was, not realizing how lucky I was just as I was robbing myself of any possible joy I might have had. 

Madonna persevered through her childhood in the aftermath of losing her mother, but she carried that loss with her at every step and turn. It’s one of the underlying layers that has always made her more than just a mainstream pop star to me, more than just a one or fifty-hit wonder. Today is her birthday, and so we honor her for still being here with us, having faced her own brush with mortality recently. 

We need to cherish our icons when they’re with us, not after they’re gone. 

Happy birthday, M. 

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A Repost Echoing 30, Now 40, Years Ago

A decade ago I had posted this 30th anniversary of Madonna’s debut, which means now we are celebrating 40 years of her remarkable career. She’s taking the summer off for some well-deserved recovery, and I admire that. Here’s the post from a decade ago:

Madonna, Three Decades Into the Groove ~ {Originally posted July 27, 2013.}

It was 30 years ago today that Sire Records released Madonna’s debut album, entitled simply ‘Madonna’. Unlike many casual fans, and some die-hard ones as well, I’m more a fan of her later work than her earlier stuff. In fact, with the possible exception of ‘Holiday’ (and then only when it’s done up Blonde Ambition style), I’m not enthralled with any of the cuts off her first album. (Not even ‘Borderline’, and certainly not ‘Lucky Star’.) But I’m aware of their importance in her career, and I know many a fan who considers them integral to her oeuvre. So with that in mind, let’s celebrate this date, because 30 years of anything is pretty damn impressive.

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When All Else Fails… Madonna

She has returned to doing some social media posts, and so there has been a little celebration of Madonna fans the world over. For someone who has always seemed, and indeed lived as, invincible, Madonna’s recent hospitalization sent shockwaves through those of us who expected her to be around forever. It’s a good time to appreciate that she’s still here, and still kicking ass. 

Check out this Top Twenty list of Madonna’s Timelines

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A Celebration Postponed

Finally emerging into the spotlight since her hospital stay a number of days ago, Madonna made her social media comeback announcing that her Celebration Tour would begin in Europe this October, with the North American leg being rescheduled for next year. If it means she is getting healthy and stronger, I’m fine with this news. I was beginning to worry because when things are that shrouded in silence and mystery, it usually portends something worse than anything the public is immediately told. 

In the meantime, this recent post outlined my Top Twenty Madonna timelines. Of course twenty is too few, so here are a few more entries worthy of another look. 

Come join the party with this ‘Celebration‘, which chronicles a summer moment in Boston.

Nothing Fails‘ in the 100th Madonna Timeline entry. 

My favorite thing in the world: ‘Words‘.

The art of dressing up is one I learned early, following the cues of ‘Dress You Up‘.

There was that time Madonna took us to ‘Medellin‘.

I Don’t Search, I Find‘ and when Madonna is involved, getting there is most of the fun. 

With a striking video directed by David Fincher, ‘Bad Girl‘ was a song set to a cinematic thrill.

Everything feels so strange, I’m ready to take this chance, I need to dance… ‘I’m Addicted‘.

Best of recovery wishes to Madonna, and gratitude for always giving us ‘Something to Remember’

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A Popular Song for Summer

I’ve seen the devil
Down Sunset
In every place
In every face…

Leave it to Madonna to continue the summer song vibe with this record-breaking return to the charts, along with The Weeknd and Playboi Carti. It’s easy and breezy and ideal for the summer season, the sort of song that percolates gently, easing into a sunny morning. Do I care about the lyrics? About as much as I care to be popular. This is just about the groove, the vibe, the languid shuffling movement that feels like slow-motion swimming, the only way to get away from the heat right there on the surface. 

Tell me, do you see her? She’s livin’ her life
Even if she acts like she don’t want the limelight 
But if you knew her, she lives a lie
She calls the paparazzi, then she acts surprised
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I know what she needs 
She just want the fame, I know what sh? fiends 
Give her a littl? taste, runnin’ back to me
Put it in her veins, pray her soul to keep, 
Ooh-ooh, every night (Every night)
She prays to the sky
Flashin’ lights is all she ever wants to see

A summer vibe then – the summer of ’23 – too soon to tell what it will become, too early to feel how it will end. Pass the iced tea. Let’s have tomato sandwiches for lunch, the kind that turn the mayonnaise pink, the pretty mess dripping down our fingers. Even the bees are welcome to a taste

The heat is high. The canopy does little to shield us from that. A hyacinth bean twirls its dark purple vines around a trellis, a clump of nasturtiums shading its base. Summer winds around itself now, heat building on heat, and a line of sweat drips down my chest, tickling and causing me to look down to make sure it’s not a bug. A salt lick for the horse inside of all of us. 

Beggin’ on her knees to be popular
That’s her dream, to be popular (Hey)
Kill anyone to be popular (Hm)
Sell her soul to be popular (Popular)

Just to be popular (Uh-huh)
Everybody scream ’cause she popular (Hey)
She mainstream ’cause she popular
Never be free ’cause she popular

Summer shade in a song, summer secrets held too long. Lounging by the pool, sunglasses hiding where my gaze might fall, I know the seductive pull of the sunny season. It’s California and Florida balled up and thrown into a sea of flames. It’s light and water and dancing across the surface. It’s sitting as still as possible to remain as cool as possible as if that were remotely possible. The conundrum of summer – like the queasiness of Sunday night – is impenetrable and impossible. That’s why we had Sunday tea dances, why we braved the bridges to bear down on Provincetown, why we pinned our hopes and dreams on that one perfect swimsuit that would bring all the boys to the yard. Summer was the infuriating and tantalizing tease that the most diabolical devil couldn’t conjure even at his cruelest turn. 

I know that you see me, time’s gone by 
Spent my whole life runnin’ from your flashin’ lights
Try to own it, but I’m alright 
You can’t take my soul without a fuckin’ fight

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Top Twenty Madonna Timelines

You may have heard that this is the 20th year of ALANILAGAN.com, and as such I’m going to start culling a few ‘Top Twenty’ lists from the archives in celebration of such a milestone. (Who knows if I might make to another?) We’ll begin with one that is close to my musical heart: the Top Twenty Madonna Timelines. (These are not in any strict order, as it’s too difficult to rank that, they are just twenty notable timelines.)

The Madonna Timeline has been a regular installment here wherein I dissect a specific Madonna song (chosen randomly by the ‘Shuffle’ feature) and go into whatever memories or background I have of the song, when it was released, and/or what it has come to mean to me over the years. For a long time, I could date my life based on what Madonna era was happening, but failing memory and lack of indelible career moments have largely left that in the past. Here’s a reminder of some of my favorites.

1. Drowned World/Substitute for Love ~ This is my favorite Madonna song (with the caveat that such a preposterous proclamation is always subject to change – but this one has stayed at the top of my list since it came out in 1998, and as much as I adore her I don’t see Madonna topping this one anytime sooner or later). The opening track of her best album to date (the miraculous ‘Ray of Light’) this song ushered in one of the greatest Madonna eras ever. It was once again about the music, and this music came with layered nuance, lyrical poignance, and introspective grace. It was an emotional reckoning, highlighted by this compelling track, which seduces the listener with a calm and languid beginning then ruminates on the price of love and fame and the search for something more before culminating in one of the most powerful bridges she has ever written.

2. Vogue ~ Madonna has always been about fun and glamour, and nowhere is that more evident than in her classic anthem ‘Vogue’. From the opening command of ‘Strike a pose!’ to the quasi-rap litany of Hollywood royalty, this is Madonna at the crux of fabulous and campy in an ode and an invitation to the gay balls of the late 80’s. It also inspired a major timeline sprinkled with Oscar Wilde quotes and gay memories galore.

3. Like A Prayer ~ The rarefied upper-echelon of Madonna’s catalog contains many iconic moments and the crowning jewel of her musical oeuvre has to be ‘Like A Prayer’. For substance, style, and transformative musical transcendence, this remains Madonna’s most majestic move, and it has endured for decades with good reason.

4. Erotica ~ Sex and sin and seduction, oh my! A turning point in Madonna’s career formed a valuable and necessary life-lesson for me, laying the groundwork for my own creative expression. 

5. Turn Up the Radio ~ Losing oneself in a pop song is one of Madonna’s most enduring hat-tricks, and a large reason why some of us have never been able to quit her. ‘Turn Up the Radio’ starts off as a stellar slice of escapist pop music, until you realize by the bridge she is desperately doing all that she can to simply survive (“We gotta have fun, if that’s all that we do”).

6. Rain ~ Forging the heart of the gorgeously-icy ‘Erotica’ album, ‘Rain’ was part of a pivotal moment in my life – and may have actually saved it

7. Rebel Heart ~ At this stage in her career and life, Madonna has nothing left to prove, but an air of defiance imbues the title track of the under-appreciated-if-chaotic ‘Rebel Heart’ album. It’s a bit of a look-back and reassessment of “all the things I did just to be seen” while refusing to be anything other than the rebel she has always embodied.

8. Crazy For You ~ One of my very first crushes forms the narrative portion of this Madonna Timeline, and for that reason it holds a special place in my heart.

9. Secret ~ The Madonna song that will forever be linked with the memory of the first man I ever kissed, ‘Secret’ is heartbreaking on a personal level, and healing in the same way.

10. You Must Love Me ~ Though I was semi-stalking a young man at the time this song came out, ‘You Must Love Me’ eventually became the command that came true, as the object of my affection way back then ended up becoming a lifelong friend.

11. Music ~ When it comes to fun, nobody does a better bop than Madonna. From ‘Holiday’ to ‘Spotlight’ to her millennium-opener ‘Music’, she knows how to craft a catchy and infectious tune. Coupled with the first few months of dating Andy, this song informs one of the happiest times in my life.

12. Express Yourself ~  Another moment in Madonna history is also one of the most self-empowering songs ever written, and this take-charge anthem is a potent blast of pop perfection (cue the horny horn break).

13. Ray of Light ~ Exploding out of the spring and summer of 1998, the lead track to Madonna’s greatest album ‘Ray of Light’ is a roaring revelation of celebratory abandon and realization – the zenith of Madonna’s dance-pop evolution, even if she had no hand in actually writing the song. The timeline is always a fun memory, as it brings me back to a night in Boston when, fueled by a cocktail of something called ‘Liquid Cocaine’, I sped through Copley Square on roller-blades with a long black cloak flowing in my wake.

14. Messiah ~ Despite her ‘Something to Remember’ collection, Madonna has never truly been appreciated for her ballads, which is criminal, as they form the compelling contrast and anchors of so many of her albums. This selection from the somewhat-messy ‘Rebel Heart’ opus echoes other brilliant balladry such as ‘Falling Free’, ‘Promise to Try’, ‘I’ll Remember’ and ‘I Want You’.

15. True Blue – An ode to old-fashioned romance and sweet, hopeful innocence, this frothy confection of ear candy goes down easy and rekindles a simpler time in life.

16. Live to Tell ~ The best songs of Madonna transcend the limitations of pop music, allowing multiple readings and layers of interpretation. ‘Live to Tell’ hints at secrets and betrayals, survival and destruction, and is one of Madonna’s most serious and powerful ballads.

17. Secret Garden ~ Closing out the sexual kaleidoscope of ‘Erotica’, this glorious glimpse of a metaphorical musical garden found flowering and fruition and little to nothing to do with fucking. A precursor to cocky clickbait.

18. You’ll See ~ Turning romantic tragedy to independent triumph, ‘You’ll See’ was pegged as the ‘I Will Survive’ of its day, and it came at a time when my own romantic adventures were just beginning.

19. Survival – Opening her deceptively-soft-focused ‘Bedtime Stories’ album (one of the most unexpectedly-pivotal albums in her career, lowering expectations as it repositioned her as an artist who would endure rather than burn-out in a blaze of glory) this track and timeline found both Madonna and myself in a fascinating state of flux.

20. Material Girl ~ Where it all began for me.

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A Vulgar Jockstrap Post

If you’re on the hunty hunt for a banging and blessedly-brief Pride anthem, look no further than our reigning pop royalty pairing of Madonna and Sam Smith in their new collaboration ‘Vulgar’. This is arguably Madonna’s best release since some of the cuts on her 2015 ‘Rebel Heart’ album, and comes at a time when we need new Madonna music after the lackluster reception of 2019’s ‘Madame X’. It’s not even a full song, or what most of us would consider a full pop song (“Don’t need a chorus!”), but it is just enough – a tantalizing tease from two of the most brilliantly provocative and controversial artists who continually refuse to be cowered by the haters. 

Speak, bitch, and say our fucking names…

Look like I’m dressed to kill, love how I make me feel
All black in stripper heels, mood like Madonna
Rich like I’m in the Louvre, got nothin’ left to prove
You know you’re beautiful when they call you vulgar
I do what I wanna, I go when I gotta
I’m sexy, I’m free and I feel…
VULGAR

When the world attacks and criticizes, when you begin to doubt and wonder at your worth or value, and when they call you names like Vulgar, it’s sometimes wise to quietly assess and consider what they’re really saying. It’s easy to retreat in order to regroup, to hide and hunker down out of sight and out of mind. It might also make sense to go away for a bit, slinking into the shadows when the heat gets to be too much. That’s certainly my initial instinct when faced with adversity or disagreement

And then I remember who I really am, and all the things I’ve already been through to get here. The things I’ve done to myself will never be surpassed by what someone else might say about or do to me, and there is defiance and freedom and pride in that. This song embodies that fighting spirit, exemplified by two pop stars who have been through the public ringer. 

“They didn’t always get the life they wanted, but they knew how to dream… And maybe that’s the true definition of an eccentric – someone who can’t be slain by what lesser people might say.” ~ Andrew O’Hagan

Let’s get into the groove, you know just what to do
Boy, get down on your knees ’cause I am Madonna
If you fuck with Sam tonight, you’re fucking with me
So watch what you say or I’ll split your banana
We do what we wanna, we say what we gotta
We’re sexy and free and we feel…
VULGAR

My tea is strong, and though I may recklessly spill it from time to time, it’s always authentic. Far too often we try to be the person we think the world wants us to be, without indulging in who we genuinely are. The older I get, the less time I have for that sort of pretend, and there is something very liberating about that. People will believe what they want to believe about you, so maintaining a strong sense of self is one of the universal challenges we all face. Sam Smith and Madonna know that better than most, and I’m taking inspiration from this banger.

Vulgar is beautiful, filthy, and gorgeous
Vulgar will make you dance, don’t need a chorus
Say we’re ridiculous, we’ll just go harder
Mad and meticulous, Sam and Madonna
Speak, bitch, and say our fucking names
Speak, bitch, and say our fucking names
Speak, bitch, and say our fucking names

It makes me want to slip on a bejeweled jockstrap and dance my ass off…

Do you know how to spell my name?

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S & M

The simple but powerful teasers of Madonna’s new collaboration with Sam Smith feel almost too epic to deliver something that could possibly rise to the level of heated anticipation of a song called ‘Vulgar’ so I’m doing my best to tamp down my feverish expectations and hopes. A full-out banger of a dance duet would be simply divine, but I fear this may not be that. Regardless, the Madonna fan world is so hungry for something new musically that we will all likely line-up to celebrate whatever this is going to be. (Just please don’t tell me it’s a ‘Human Nature’ remix or mash-up with ‘Unholy’ – things have been derivative enough of late.)

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