Category Archives: LGBTQ+

The Marvelous Words of Bayard Rustin

“I believe in social dislocation and creative trouble.” ~ Bayard Rustin

“If we desire a society of peace, then we cannot achieve such a society through violence. If we desire a society without discrimination, then we must not discriminate against anyone in the process of building this society. If we desire a society that is democratic, then democracy must become a means as well as an end.” ~ Bayard Rustin

“Let us be enraged about injustice, but let us not be destroyed by it.” ~ Bayard Rustin

“When an individual is protesting society’s refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him.” ~ Bayard Rustin

“Every indifference to prejudice is suicide because, if I don’t fight all bigotry, bigotry itself will be strengthened and, sooner or later, it will return on me.” ~ Bayard Rustin

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Pride on the Sabbath

 “When you hear of Gay Pride, remember, it was not born out of a need to celebrate being gay. It evolved out of our need as human beings to break free of oppression and to exist without being criminalized, pathologized or persecuted. Depending on a number of factors, particularly religion, freeing ourselves from gay shame and coming to self-love and acceptance, can not only be an agonising journey, it can take years. Tragically some don’t make it. Instead of wondering why there isn’t a straight pride be grateful you have never needed one. 
Celebrate with us.” ~ Anthony Venn-Brown

With Pride Month in full swing, and a large number of Pride events happenings as the vaccinated among us move more freely than we have in well over a year, I’m taking a moment to be both serious and silly about this special month. Hence these photos, taken so I could update my social media profiles with something more seasonally gay

Next weekend is when some of the main Pride events are happening in Boston, including Pride Night at Fenway Park with the Red Sox. More often than not, Skip and I would find ourselves there for such an event, and it always thrilled me to see the rainbow flags flying at Fenway and on the Boston Public Library. While we mostly skirted the big parade (we did it properly once) it was good simply to be in town for such celebratory fun. Boston enjoys an electric-like excitement in June, whether from the residual glow of graduations, or the exuberant arrival of summer, or probably a bit of both – and it’s sort of a glorious finale right before the city seeps into its sleepy summer slumber (which I tend to appreciate even more). 

On the serious side, all the rainbows and unicorns and fluffy party scenes mask the heartache of the history that we in the LGBTQ+ community have endured and survived – and it’s worth a moment to recognize and remember the many of us who didn’t make it this far. It’s also worth challenging ourselves in analyzing the privilege and distinctions among intersectional groups and individuals within our widely-varied community. We are making progress, but this is a long journey, and it’s largely in its infancy. Let’s keep going, and growing, and learning. 

“As a young gay African, I have been conditioned from an early age to consider my sexuality a dangerous deviation from my true heritage as a Somali by close kin and friends. As a young gay African coming of age in London, there was another whiplash of cultural confusion that one had to recover from again and again: that accepting your sexual identity doesn’t necessarily mean that the wider LGBT community, with its own preconceived notions of what constitutes a “valid” queer identity, will embrace you any more welcomingly than your own prejudiced kinsfolk do.” ~ Diriye Osman

 

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We Are Not Alone

“We don’t come out for heterosexual people to know. We don’t come out for the ones who hate us to know. We shout and make as much noise as possible just so other people like us who are scared and can’t be themselves would know that they are not a mistake and they are not alone.” – Artem Kolesov

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Dazzler of the Day: Ellen DeGeneres

The announcement sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry: Ellen DeGeneres was ending her wildly popular television show after nineteen years of entertaining and giving her unique gift of humor, wit, and kindness to a world that wasn’t always appreciative of it. Her very public coming-out in the 90’s (that ‘Time’ magazine cover story and bold proclamation of ‘Yep, I’m gay!’ was a formative part of my own coming out – and likely countless others) was as celebrated as it was momentous. It moved the cultural stigma that was still afflicting the world, even as it seemingly harmed her sitcom career. The courage it took to do that should not be underestimated or forgotten, and if that was all she ever did she would have left an impressive legacy. Luckily for us, that was only the beginning, and she has since go on to host some of the biggest entertainment gigs that exist, and then establishing a hit show that put the LGBTQIA community on full, unfussy display every week-day. There was glory in that, and it’s something that we will all miss. She earns her first Dazzler of the Day in the hopes that she embarks on the next chapter of her journey with all the hilarious gusto and dazzle she’s given us so far. 

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Love Thy Neighbor

When I first heard that my pals LeeMichael and Bryan had been harassed with homophobic mailings for the last five years in their hometown of Milton, MA, I was doubly incensed. First of all, the fact that homophobia is still a thing is reprehensible on its own. Second, that it was done via abuse of the postal service is diabolical. I have a special place in my heart for the US Postal Service (as LeeMichael circa 1997 will attest) and I absolutely abhor anyone who abuses such an agency for nefarious purposes. 

For all the horrors and fears stoked by such harassment, and for all five years of living in such worry, this story has a very happy ending, and not only because they caught the individual responsible. Bryan summed up the experience like this:

I am so very excited to announce that LeeMichael and I are announcing a fundraiser for our local Gay Straight Alliance in the high school and middle school. As some of you know, our family faced many years of harassment via mail from an individual that would subscribe for magazines and services with offensive and homophobic names directed to our address. This was a time of apprehension and sadness for our family. This year, after a hiatus, the individual again signed us up or a subscription under the name Michelle Fruitzey. For the first time, we were able to get a handwriting sample. Our town as a community and with the help of the local police was able to identify the perpetrator and arrest him for years of criminal harassment. Our family decided to turn a bad situation into a great situation by “owning” the name Michelle Fruitzey and having a fundraiser for the local GSA in our town schools by selling t-shirts. Let’s educate against bullying in all forms, especially against GLBT youth… You can also order t-shirts to support our cause at https://fundly.com/iammichellefruitzey. We are so very grateful to the Town of Milton and our many friends and neighbors that provided us so much support. Thank you!

A more in-depth article on the whole saga is here, while you can purchase the t-shirts directly at this link. In this month of Pride, it warms my heart to see that some neighbors still care, and that people, at their best, will always work to help and protect one another. 

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Pride Month 2021

What a wonderful circumstance to realize that Pride Month has reached such saturation in mainstream media that it rivals Christmas in all the best and worst ways. I’m not going to get into a critique of corporate tie-ins and the whole lavender-washing of a movement that was rooted in the Stonewall Riots of 1969. We’ve come a long way to see rainbow flags on Target merchandise, and I’m not about to decry or condemn the rest of the world for catching up and wanting to celebrate too. 

Rather, I’m going to focus on the true meaning of Pride, much in the way that I’ve come to focus on the true meaning of Christmas – the essence of this month in which we remember our past, celebrate our present, and look to make things better for the future. For me, Pride will always be about one simple image: two guys walking down Boylston Street in Boston holding hands, unconcerned about the world around them, and simply enjoying the touch of another human being. I saw it at one of the first Pride Marches I ever attended, and it still thrills me – because I remember

I remember what a thrill that was because it was something I didn’t grow up seeing. 

I remember growing up and not having any sense of the possibility of love – not the love I was created to experience, not the love I was born to live. I remember the sort of heterosexual love that was forced upon me, and that I forced myself to fit into, even when it felt wrong, even when I knew it wasn’t me. 

I remember not seeing myself anywhere, not finding my future on television or in a magazine or a movie. 

Because I remember those things, and so many more, I will still celebrate Pride.

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Dazzler of the Day: Rosé

Leave it to Skip to get me back into RuPaul’s Drag Race – a show which I haven’t seen since the epic third season of Manila versus Raja. This year I was addicted, and the final four proved a competitive feast for the eyes, ears, and soul. While Symone was a well-deserving winner this past season, Rosé was consistently a powerhouse performer – a more-than-triple threat on all entertainment fields, and by the end it felt like she was so continuously excellent, even her great performances ran the danger of feeling underwhelming. I always hate when that happens – when a person of talent is regularly good at what they do that it reaches the point where it’s expected, and maintaining excellence is never appreciated as a more dramatic trajectory of those who starts from somewhere else. There’s a certain tragedy to that, but I’m certain Rosé will continue leaving a legacy in the drag world, and as such she gets this crown as Dazzler of the Day.

 
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Dazzler of the Day: David Sedaris

Wit and hilarity inform many a Dazzler of the Day, but nowhere do they find more masterful employment and comedic artfulness than in the written work of David Sedaris. We don’t feature enough authors as Dazzler of the Day, something I aim to correct starting here and now, and no one is better equipped for charging head-first into such calamity as Sedaris. I’ve been gleefully following his work since the mid-90’s (that’s the 1990’s for those wondering) and he’s always pointed a sharp assessing eye on the foibles and failings of humans, and more often than not such missteps are entirely endearing, if not outright revelatory in the long run. Sedaris captures life on many levels – the surface humor of our hijinks, and the deeper more resonant way they connect us to one another. Visit his official website here for further evidence of his brilliance.

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Dazzler of the Day: Ronen Rubinstein

Coming out as bisexual is still very much a brave act, especially in the entertainment world, so whenever someone takes such a courageous step, I’m all for encouragement and support. This is Ronen Rubinstein, and he’s our Dazzler of the Day for taking that step. Rubinstein has appeared in ‘Orange Is the New Black’ and ‘9-1-1: Lone Star’ and looks to be adding plenty to that list in the near future. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Billy Porter

The iconic audacity.

The irrefutable ferocity.

The gorgeous fabulosity.

This whole Dazzler of the Day feature was tailor-made for the likes of Billy Porter, who has been dazzling audiences for decades, and only seems to get better with age. It’s not just about his red-carpet envelope-busting appearances, or his impressively inspirational refusal to be anyone other than his authentic self, it’s about that superlative talent – the voice, the moves, the sheer star quality he brings to every project that’s fortunate enough to enjoy his involvement. Larger-than-life, he also manages to find that universal thread of humanity in his work, that essence of a genuine, compassionate soul which transforms every performance into a piece of art and a way of connecting us to each other. Witness previous posts here and here and especially here, when I got to see him onstage for the first time, check out his lengthy link tree of admirable causes, and embrace his ongoing reign as Dazzler of All the Days. 

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Dazzlers of the Day: Pete and Chasten Buttigieg

There was something galvanizing and breathtaking about seeing Pete Buttigieg soon in as Secretary of Transportation while his husband stood beside him, and then to see them kiss and embrace at various moments of public life. That’s something those of us of a certain age never got to see as young kids growing up, and what a wonderful thing it is to see today. It seems like such a little thing, but the power and immensity of having that out there cannot be overstated. I wish I had seen it way back when… and I’m thrilled to see it now. For that reason alone, Pete and Chasten Buttigieg earn their first joint Dazzlers of the Day honor. Secretary Buttigieg has already been a Hunk of the Day here, as has Chasten Buttigieg here. Today, they share the spotlight. 

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