Category Archives: Homophobia

18
January
2014
Tags: Gay, Homophobia, Shirtless Male Celebrities
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When Cute People Say Really Stupid Things

My God some people are too dumb to function. Juan Pablo Galavis, the latest “star” of the television show ‘The Bachelor’  – (which I have never seen and never will) was recently interviewed and asked whether a gay person might make a good ‘Bachelor’ and here’s the ridiculous nonsense he spewed from his ignorant mouth. (If I didn’t hear the interview with my own ears, I never would have believed that someone could be so publicly foolish.)

“I respect them, but honestly I don’t think it’s a good example for kids to watch that on TV.”

“Obviously people have their husband and wife and kids and that is how we are brought up. Now there is fathers having kids and all that, and it is hard for me to understand that too in the sense of a household having peoples… Two parents sleeping in the same bed and the kid going into bed… It is confusing in a sense.”

“There’s this thing about gay people that… it seems to me, and I don’t know if I’m mistaken or not, but I meant, I have a lot of friends like that, but they’re more ‘pervert’ in a sense. And to me the show would be too strong… too hard to watch.”

 

You know what’s hard to watch? An attractive young man (especially one who’s had a child out of wedlock and is not exactly an expert on raising kids in a “mother and father” household) say such things about gay people. That’s hard to watch. Luckily, I don’t have to. (By the way, if you go to this link that has the audio interview, you can hear his words for yourself – I’ve not had to edit anything to make it seem more hateful. It is what it is.)

No matter how cute you are, the stain of intolerance and hatred is ugly on everyone – and it’s the toughest stain to eradicate. Those words will be with him for the rest of his life, and the daughter that he so lovingly dotes on and does everything for, has just been saddled with a legacy of ignorance and intolerance. That’s more perverted than anything I could ever do as a gay man.

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11
February
2013
Tags: Homophobia
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All Hell to the Pope

Since when do Popes resign? Not since the 1200’s actually. But this current one has, citing old age and ill health, and if anyone buys that then they are beyond dumb. I just cringe as to what sort of atrocities he has covered up or committed that would lead to such a decision. I mean, if any entity can hide and protect its leader from all accountability, the Catholic church has proven to be it, so for the Pope to resign indicates that some serious shit went down.

I wouldn’t be so flippant or critical of a religious organization if its own head hadn’t said such vicious things about gay people, or worked to actively suppress us and the fight for marriage equality. Being that he’s done exactly that, I am not unhappy about his resignation, and I only hope the Catholic church – in which I was raised – takes this as an opportunity to enter the last century and make itself at least somewhat relevant should they wish to survive. The writing is on the wall, guys – evolve or get out of the way. As for the Pope, well, let’s hope for his sake that he’s as blameless as he pretends to be. Let me know if you see any of his former wardrobe on eBay.

And until a successor can be found, worthy enough to fill his red Prada shoes, enjoy Benedict enjoying these shirtless men. Only in the Catholic church, kids…

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02
February
2013
Tags: Gay, Homophobia, Theater
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Helping Out Upstairs

One of the double-edged swords of all the progress the gay community has made over the last few years is the fact that those young people coming of age now don’t remember how hard it used to be. As a thirty-something gay man, I feel in many ways on the cusp of that – I remember what it was like in the 80’s and 90’s, and I know how easier it is in many ways today. While this is the way it should be, we must not forget from whence we came, and all our rich, tumultuous, and often-unlearned history.

A bit of our history that I had not known until recently was a 1973 arson fire that killed 32 people in a gay bar. It went ignored by the media, and unknown to many, like myself, until Wayne Self brought it back to over-due prominence in his upcoming musical ‘Upstairs‘. Events like this need to be remembered. We cannot forget, because such hatred will flare up in other ways.

Director Zach McCallum sums up the story as such:

Upstairs tells the long-forgotten story of a tragic arson fire in a gay bar in New Orleans in 1973. Thirty-two people, many of them members of the then-fledgling New Orleans Metropolitan Community Church, which had been meeting at the Up Stairs Lounge, were killed, in what remains to this day the single deadliest crime against an LGBT population in US history. At the time, the story was almost completely ignored by the news media. Though a suspect was identified, no arrest was ever made.

Wayne’s play is an elegant, haunting tale of damnation and salvation, telling the stories of several of the victims of the fire. The characters  include Buddy (based on the real Buddy Rasmussen), a bartender who led 35 people to safety, and Buddy’s partner Adam. Mitch, the associate pastor of the NOLA MCC, and his partner Horace. Drag performer Marcy and her dresser Reginald. And Agneau, a tormented and self-hating gay man. It is a morality play with a twist, told with sensitivity and dark humor, with a catchy and modern jazz and blues influenced score.

The production is up against a large goal, and timeframe: they need to raise $10,000 in order to move forward. They’ve got a good start (about halfway there at the time of this writing), but it must be raised by February 17, so the pressure is on. Please consider helping out with a donation at THIS LINK. (Your donation will only be collected if they reach their goal.) Another way to help is to attend one of the shows (which is what I would do if I were a hair closer to California…) Tickets can be found HERE.

 

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27
November
2012
Tags: Gay, Homophobia
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Douchebag of the Day: Tank Carder

A quote from football player Tank Carder: “I don’t agree with being gay or lesbian at all, but saying faggot doesn’t make me a homophobe, it’s just a word.”   As an alternative to our Hunk of the Day feature, we also have to look at the ugly side of humanity too, and in this case it’s the homophobic words by Tank Carder. And sorry, but calling someone a faggot in a derogatory fashion (and there’s really no other fashion in which to do it) does make you a homophobe. For more hateful nonsense from Mr. Carder, see more of the story at Outsports.

One more thing – If you’re going to start hating on things over which people have no control, let’s talk about the name ‘Tank’. One can always change one’s name, unlike one’s sexuality.

{UPDATE: His latest Tweet, as of last night, was the following: “I was not bashing the gay community in any way…if you knew me you would know I wouldn’t do that. Again I’m sorry if you were offended.” Yeah, ‘I’m sorry if you were offended’ is not an apology. It’s kind of like saying, “I’m sorry you’re a homophobic prick.”}

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24
June
2011
Tags: Gay Marriage, Homophobia
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Calling Out the Bigots By Name

At first I was afraid that bringing the topic of gay marriage to such a boiling point would result in an even bigger push-back by those against it. I’m not afraid of that anymore. All that they’re doing is exposing their ignorance and hate. All they can attempt is to stall equality and reveal their own homophobia and bigotry. Case in point: Liz Lemery Joy wrote on her Times Union blog that she was opposed to homosexual marriage. She begins her prejudiced story (yes, Ms. Joy, there is a ‘D’ at the end of the word “prejudiced” when you’re using it as an adjective) with a disclaimer. (All spelling and grammatical errors are her own):

“But, just because someone doesn’t support gay marriage, doesn’t make them a hater, evil, prejudice or a denier of other people’s rights. Nor does it make them homophobic. We can be against it, because God is very clear about homosexuality in His Word.”

Let me be very clear about this too. Ms. Joy is absolutely entitled to her beliefs on gay marriage. She has every right not to support it. However, the moment a person takes those beliefs and begins actively working to prevent gay people from getting legally married, is the moment that person becomes homophobic and bigoted. It’s that simple. When you work to deny the rights of someone based on their race, creed, gender, religion or sexuality, it is bigotry and discrimination.

Ms. Joy goes on to write, “I don’t believe people are born gay. How can I say that? Because God is a good God. He doesn’t purposely create people to be genetically homosexual, and then tell them to live in a way they are not physically or mentally capable of living. That would be cruel and unloving. God is not like that. That would be like saying- God created some people to purposely be stealers, liars, gossipers, adulterers, killers, idol worshipers, slanderers, or drunkards…
However, I do believe there can be strong tendencies towards certain behaviors from one person to another. I may need to resist the temptation to lie more than you. Another person may need to resist the temptation to drink alcohol more than me. Someone else may need to resist the temptation to get into adulteress affairs, or pornography.”

(Sorry, the English major in me has to correct “adulteress” ~ I really think she means “adulterous” in this context.) If we are to buy into her reasoning that it’s not homosexual tendencies that are wrong, but rather the acting on them, then we must apply that same argument to her: it is not the belief against gay marriage that is homophobic, but rather the action of working to prevent it. That is where the real bigotry resides.

She concludes, “I’m urging my legislators to vote no on gay marriage. I’m going to stand by God’s Word.”

Ms. Joy, you can stand by “God’s Word” all you want. That is your right. But by urging your legislators to vote no on gay marriage, and by posting these words in a public forum, those actions are homophobic, hateful, and bigoted. There’s no way around that. Show me the passage in the Bible that says you should be working to prevent gay marriage. It’s not there. See, we can go around and around in these Biblical arguments, but nothing I’ve done in my entire gay life, and in my marriage to another man, will ever come close to the pain, anguish, and suffering you have inflicted on innocent people whose marriages would have absolutely no effect whatsoever on you or your marriage. Where is the Christian love in interfering with two people who love each other? Marrying the man I’ve been with for over ten years did not infringe on your rights or beliefs. Stop infringing on mine.

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11
June
2011
Tags: Gay, Gay Blog, Homophobia
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The Pride Post

It’s not easy being gay. It’s easy for me to think it is, because when you surround yourself with good, open-minded, accepting people it’s easy to think that’s the way the world is, but periodically – on the news, on the street, or in the office – I’m reminded that we are still different. We are still ‘other’.

Much like any minority, being openly gay opens you up for feeling different. For anyone who’s ever felt different, for anyone who’s ever been pointed at or whispered about, for anyone who’s had a dream about being in public and suddenly realizing you have no clothes on, imagine that feeling ALL THE TIME. If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable in a gay bar, imagine that feeling EVERYWHERE.

This world is a straight world. Every restaurant is a straight restaurant. Every office is a straight office. Every bus, train, or plane is a straight bus, train, or plane. Heterosexuality is the default setting ~ wide-ranging, far-reaching, accepted and commonplace. Homosexuality is the exception to the rule.

Every so often I feel it – the weight of it – the burden of being different. It’s a cumulative thing, built up year after year, little by little, whispered word by whispered word ~ and the effects are mostly deleterious. A fatigue, a vague mistrust, a twinge of paranoia that eventually, and always, turns out badly. You have to be careful with what you do with it. Too easily does it turn against the very people who are there to help you, too easily does it turn you against yourself.

Over the years, as I’ve grown into myself and become more genuinely confident in who I am, this battle fatigue has become more manageable, and I’ve been less affected by it. But it has taken years, and the war rages on in lands beyond my backyard.

If I seem too sensitive at times, if I come off as prickly, stop and think where I’m coming from, and where I’ve been. If you spend your life in a world largely foreign to you, where 97 percent of where you are and what you do is the opposite of your nature, what would you feel? How well would you cope if you had to wake up every day in a gay world? How would you feel if those seven awkward minutes in which you shared a quick drink with me in a gay bar turned into seventy years?

That’s what it’s like when I wake up every morning, go into work, walk around downtown for lunch, go out to dinner, the movies, a show (well, maybe not a show…) and all the other things we do on a daily basis. As accepting as most of my friends are, it’s still there. There’s still the burden. There’s still the difference. And until you’ve been there, you can never know. You can sympathize, you can relate, you can support and you can love, but you can never fully know.

I guess this is my roundabout way of saying that there’s still a need for Gay Pride. As comfortable and as proud as I am to be a gay man, there’s still a glimmer of doubt, still a shred of uncertainty I feel whenever someone attacks marriage equality, calls someone a faggot, or kills a gay person. That doubt and uncertainty is what they want me to feel. That’s how you stifle a group of people, that’s how you silence those who are different. And though I’ve learned to embrace being different, there will always be a cost to it. All the rainbows in the world can’t fix that, no matter how pretty.

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