Category Archives: Gratuitous Nudity

A Shirtless, Smutty (And Naked) Saturday ~ Part 2

Forget the shirtless – let’s just take off all their clothes. Here is a brief (or brief-less) collection of some of the guys who have deigned to remove their sartorial armor and get all buck naked (and in most of these cases buff naked). There’s no ailment a little gratuitous male nudity can’t instantly fix, or at least soothe. So without further ado or pesky clothes, here are some of those naked men.

It begins, fittingly, with the royal tush of Prince Harry, baring his bottom whilst gaming it up in Las Vegas.

Though he is technically naked here, you may not be happy with the hands of Adam Levine’s girlfriend, covering up his junk in annoying jungle red.

Things get a little Biblical with a man named Jesus (Luz), who once dated the real Dude’s mother’s namesake, Madonna.

Feel free to play ball with Patriot Rob Gronkowski and don’t bother wearing a cup because he didn’t.

Though he was already featured earlier today, he wasn’t naked. But Nick Youngquest is naked now.

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A Week of Gardening, Gays, & Guys

This past week has seen a drastic transformation of the gardens, thanks as much to Mother Nature as to my mother-fucking muscle. My back is on strike, my feet simply quit, and my hands couldn’t pull the trigger on a pair of pruning shears to save my life. But the work got did, the yard got cleaned, and the beds and borders have not looked this good in a long time. After a few years of wild, over-grown and unchecked wilderness, this was the time I took it back. It was a time to be ruthless, and I was. I’m paying for it a bit now in callouses and back-aches, but it was worth it. Onto the previous week’s recap:

It begins, fitting with a few gardening posts, both practical and philosophical, (and just plain pretty) inspired by a great book on gardening and life, ‘The Backyard Parables’ by Margaret Roach.

There was music by Muse, both mad and divine.

I don’t know what is going on with the restaurant bars in Downtown Albany, but they seem to be losing their way. Case in point, this martini at La Serre.

The Hunk of the Day returned with a shirtless vengeance, featuring the easy-on-the-eyes likenesses of Nate Berkus, Trevor Donovan, Jon Bon Jovi, Terry Miller, Alex Pettyfer, and Marques Houston. (And I threw in some Tom Daley in a Speedo for good measure.)

The Lenten Rose wept as honey poured forth from Madonna’s gash… oh wait, I’m mixing up gardening and the ‘Sex’ book again…

As you may have guessed, I saw no reason to include any corresponding shots other than Trevor Donovan naked and in his underwear. Sue me.

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Instagram My Ass

A number of people have asked me why I don’t start an Instagram account, citing all the pics I post. To be honest, that’s the entire reason in itself: I already post enough photos – why do I want another outlet and time-burner for that? Besides, Madonna was already warned about her Instagram photos – it would be just a matter of time before my account got shut down by the powers-that-be. No, for now you’ll have to come here to get a bum-rush like the one you see here today. This is basically what my Instagram shots would look like – and I think I’ve suffered enough em-bare-ass-ment for one day.

Having said all that, I’ll probably join a few years from now, when it’s starting to subside, like I did with Twitter. I’m a Virgo. It takes me a while to embrace the change. Of course, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at your ass and make a change. (Sorry, I’m on some serious sleep-deprivation…)

ADDENDUM: I’m now on Instagram under ‘alanilagan’. I had to let it happen… I had to change…

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My Full-Frontal Shot, At Long Fully-Naked Last

You’ve asked for it for years. I’ve teased and toyed, hemmed and hawed, held it and hesitated. The longest bout of edging is drawing to its inevitable close, and today is the day. We have come to the Full-frontal male nudity final frontier of this site. Are you ready to rock out with your cock out? Hang on… and scroll down. Way down… because an event of this magnitude requires a little teasing before the pleasing…

The day you knew would arrive is here – you’ll survive…

Oh come on.

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The Great Gratuitous Shirtless and Naked Male Celebrity Post

As a follow-up to this mega-collection of naked male celebrity photos (The Erection Collection), and a pre-Easter treat in the limbo-like suspense before He rises (oh blasphemy), here is another group of former ‘Hunks of the Day‘, hyper-linked for easy access and studded with a few new photos for your man-candy Easter baskets. I’m not going to group them into any sort of order or label as I did last time, partly because we as humans defy such quick categorization (but mostly because I’m just too damn lazy and it will be enough searching through the archives to find a decent spattering of male celebrities getting their nudity on).

By the way, if you want to search the Archives yourself, scroll down to the bottom of the page, click the drop-down box for the ‘Archives’ section, and select the month and year you wish to peruse. If you go to the bottom of the pages and hit ‘Older posts’ you can keep going back, back, way on way back when…

The very furry Scott Caan

The artfully inked (and aptly-last-named) Stuart Reardon

The sporty Nick Youngquest

The perfectly pubic Noah Mills

The beautifully bountiful Columbus Short

The sexy-back singer Justin Timberlake

The arguably cutest of the three, Nick Jonas

The ever-Speedo-clad Tom Daley

The gleefully shirtless Darren Criss

The oh-so-young-but-still-hairy arm pits of Taylor Lautner

The specimen of perfection Scott Herman

The dashing dancer/football player Victor Cruz

The shirtless guy from all the shows I never watched Chace Crawford

The falsetto smoothness known as Adam Levine

& the manliest man Sacha Harding.

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Black & White Booty Shots

A disconnected moment.

A silence in the middle of the day.

A gaze of both longing and being exactly where one wants to be.

Looking out at the world is the first step in becoming brave.

A curtain.

Hanging in the window.

Disguising and hiding nothing in the light.

When what you cannot see can still be seen, what you think they cannot see still can be seen.

A watcher.

Observed observer.

Peering from a kitchen window.

Before going back to the morning, back to the start of the day, back to where it all began.

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The Birthday Suit Post

This Happy Birthday post is for you. Yes, you – you who have taken the time to click away from wherever you were to come here, wherever here is, and see me don my birthday suit in honor of your special day. This is the Birthday Suit Post for all birthdays. Now assume the position for your lucky birthday spanking…

When you think about it, I’ve been honoring you in my birthday suit for years, through dozens of posts, countless gratuitously-shameless promo shots designed to titillate and disturb, like here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here… But this is about you, and your birthday. So have a happy one.

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Dreaming of Skinnydipping

Because at the technical tail-end of Winter, you do what you gotta do to survive – in this case, re-living summer glory, remembering sunny days, and re-visiting shameless shots. Bare with me until this season closes its doors. (I’m told we’re getting snow.)

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The Magic Mann

Morality? It interests you does it? All right – it seems to us that one ought not to search for morality in virtue, which is to say in reason, in discipline, in good behavior, in respectability – but in just the opposite, I would say: in sin, in abandoning oneself to danger, to whatever can harm us, destroy us. It seems to us that it is more moral to lose oneself and let oneself be ruined than to save oneself. The great moralists have never been especially virtuous, but rather adventurers in evil, in vice, great sinners who teach us as Christians how to stoop to misery. You must find that all very repugnant. ~ Thomas Mann, ‘The Magic Mountain’

The wicked dance in which you are caught up will last many a little sinful year yet, and we would not wager much that you will come out whole. To be honest, we are not really bothered about leaving the question open. Adventures in the flesh and spirit, which enhanced and heightened your ordinariness, allowed you to survive in the spirit what you probably will not survive in the flesh. There were moments when, as you “played king,” you saw the intimation of a dream of love rising out of death and this carnal body. And out of this worldwide festival of death, this ugly rutting fever that inflames the rainy evening sky all around – will love someday rise up out of this, too? ~ Thomas Mann, ‘The Magic Mountain’

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Naked Flight

We’re so hard, aren’t we, on people who are given everything? If you’d been given everything, you mightn’t have wandered very far from the pool deck, though perhaps you wouldn’t have spent quite so much time in the direct sun. It’s as if, when someone has it all, we demand that he be tormented by some pointless ambition for more. Here he is, rich and handsome, beating off women with a stick, and he’s supposed to go have adventures, try himself somehow, scour the earth for some unhappiness. ~ Mark Merlis, An Arrow’s Flight

Maybe they really were lovers, maybe this at last was what the word meant: your lover was the one you had to shelter from the worst things you knew about yourself. Yes, this had to be it, the hot shame and, somewhere beneath it, a strange, hopeless sort of jubilation. ~ Mark Merlis, An Arrow’s Flight

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Sprawled Naked

“The body in the mirror forces me to turn and face it. And I look at my body, which is under sentence of death. It is lean, hard, and cold, the incarnation of a mystery. And I do not know what moves in this body, what this body is searching. It is trapped in my mirror as it is trapped in time and it hurries toward revelation….” ~ James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

“I long to make this prophecy come true. I long to crack that mirror and be free. I look at my sex, my troubling sex, and wonder how it can be redeemed, how I can save it from the knife. The journey to the grave is already begun, the journey to corruption is, always, already, half over. Yet, the key to my salvation, which cannot save my body, is hidden in my flesh.” ~ James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

“Then the door is before him. There is darkness all around him, there is silence in him. Then the door opens and he stands alone, the whole world falling away from him. And the brief corner of the sky seems to be shrieking, though he does not hear a sound. Then the earth tilts, he is thrown forward on his face in darkness, and his journey begins.” ~ James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

“I move at last from the mirror and begin to cover that nakedness which I must hold sacred, though it be ever so vile, which must be scoured perpetually with the salt of my life. I must believe, I must believe, that the heavy grace of God, which has brought me to this place, is all that can carry me out of it.” ~ James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

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Tom Ford, Naked (With Tan Lines)

Andy was kind enough to give me the gift of fragrance for Valentine’s Day, and I narrowed my selection down to two of Tom Ford‘s Private Blend scents: Ombre de Hyacinth and Oud Wood. This past weekend in Boston I made the final decision, and chose the Oud Wood, filling in the seasonal fragrance gap I’ve had in Mr. Ford’s line.

Here are the Private Blends I currently have, and when I like to wear them, more or less:

  • Arabian Night ~ September
  • Amber Absolute ~ October
  • Japon Noir ~ November
  • Santal Blush ~ December/Holidays
  • Oud Wood ~ February/March
  • Neroli Portofino ~ May/June/July
  • Lavender Palm ~ July/August

Obviously there is bound to be some overlapping, and these are not strict guidelines, just general ones, as my cologne choices tend to be dictated by weather and season more than name. Additionally, the beauty of the Private Blends is that many are designed to work well in combination with each other, and it is the only cologne line that I’ve found in which this is true. (I’ve never mixed or matched anything else because it gets overpowering – which is sometimes the over-the-top point of Mr. Ford.)

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The Imminence of Bed

If all goes according to delayed schedule and changed plan, the new bed should have been delivered to Boston as of this writing. Whether or not this actually comes to fruition, I’ll be there, sleeping on an old bed or a new one, but glad to be in Boston no matter what.

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