Category Archives: General

Approaching the shortest day of the year, it sometimes feels like the darkness is all-encompassing. Even at the height of noon, the sun often has trouble penetrating the cloud cover. At those times, the lights of Christmas are the saving grace of the season. At night, they lend a magic to the land, twinkling with charm as they wink at passers-by.

As a kid, one of my favorite things to do was ride around looking at all the holiday lights. I memorized many of them – the wreath at the bottom of Northhampton with the big traditional Christmas bulbs in it, unchanging from year to year. The impressive stand of twinkling stars at a local Congressman’s house. The simple homestead, cloaked all in red spotlights, glowing at the top of Coolidge Road. These were my memory markers, the totems of Christmas as it crept in through the darkest of nights. They were beacons of color, mileposts of wonder, respites of warmth no matter how cold the world grew.

Our own lights changed from year to year, depending on what inspired me, or what I felt like putting up. Somehow, as it always ended up doing, charge of decorating fell to me. At first I insisted upon it, then it became expected. With Andy, it was always up to me. This year, I’m taking a break from it all. It’s time for someone else to light the way.

On Friday nights when my brother and I were growing up, we got to stay up an hour or two later since there was no school the next day. We’d watch ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’, ‘Webster’ and ‘Mr. Belvedere’ along with, oddly enough, ‘Dallas’. The latter had the best opening theme song – all brassy trumpets and driving bass – and I’d concoct choreographed dance routines in front of the television set. My parents and brother occasionally lifted their gaze to watch.

I’m sure they didn’t know what to make of me.

No one ever knew what to make of me.

It’s always been a fantasy of mine to disappear for a while.

To go somewhere unknown and unexpected.

To leave everything and everyone behind.

To find a place of perpetual spring.

To get away from all the demons – because sometimes the demons are not in my head.

To start completely over.

And like most fantasies, there’s an element of fear in it.

And then there’s the moment of reality.

And then I make it happen.

Every time.

The kitchen renovation has been delayed a week (more on that later – much more), so we’re in a holding pattern. Yet things here must go on, so I’m populating the posts for the week ahead and doing what I always do in the name of survival. There are people that count on the daily dosage of soft gay porn that this site supposedly provides, so let’s get to it. There will be deeper things too, stories you wouldn’t even believe so I may just document them under fiction and avoid sticky questions. For now, the typical Monday look back.

It’s always best to begin with a poem.

If anyone knows anything about male grooming, it’s Tom Ford.

And if anyone doesn’t need much grooming, it’s a toss-up among the Hunks of the Day: Alexander Ludwig, Ashley Gibson, and Nathan Owens.

A tentative plan ended up playing out perfectly, but I’ll detail that in a later post.

Thanksgiving came and went…

And December reared its questionable head.

Sexier pics from this shoot can be found HERE. Go on and click it. You know you want to.

It’s not a real book but it should be.

(I especially like her previous work.)

Hello winter weather, and thar she blows! The wind was whipping up something fierce last night, and… hold up, why am I talking like someone on ‘Hee Haw’? It must be the onslaught of holiday insanity, arriving just in time. This is the week of Thanksgiving – there’s no pretending we’re not in the season anymore, so rather than fight it, I’m embracing it, as I always try to do (and often fail). It’s a different sort of year, given that our kitchen will be (literally) tore up from the floor up starting next week (that’s right – next week – and I’m just as interested in you as to how the kitchen will be emptied by that time). On with the recap!

Warning: Graphic images!

Some fierce fun with Kira, with whom I could let my hair down (no word on whether my pants followed suit).

Update: my pants came down.

Washington loved this coat.

Henry Cavill worked it all out. Shirtlessly, of course.

Steve Grand worked it shirtlessly too.

Chord Overstreet… yup, shirtless.

Jon Varak simply bulged.

Give it up for a naked Liev Schreiber too.

I covered back up with the most important outfit of the year. And here’s a better view.

There’s something about a red room.

For all those who have wanted to make me cry, here’s the no-longer-secret way.

But there’s always a thing or two of beauty to act as balm for the soul.

Finally, my favorite holiday tradition is intact, and Andy and I saw this on the big screen in Saratoga for the first time ever, followed by a frigid and wind-whipped stroll on Broadway after the show.

It must have been 1996 or 1997 – and Suzie was at the Braddock Park condo in Boston for a holiday party. The walls then were an unabashed bordello red. A fringed lamp glowed low in a corner. Leopard-print curtains were held in place by floating gold cherubs, and a panel of purple velvet separated the red living room from the green kitchen. Over-sized Christmas ornaments hung from the ceiling, and colorful Christmas lights twinkled in the window. The atmosphere was cozy and quaint, even if it was the day after the party. I’d cleaned up the sticky floor earlier in the day – always the first task after a party, and things were finally getting back in shape. I opened up the early gift that Suzie left me – a VHS cassette of ‘Auntie Mame’ – and collapsed on the couch. The opening Technicolor glory and swelling orchestra music took me to another world.

I watched rapt – transfixed by the magic of Rosalind Russell and this over-the-top force-of-nature known as Auntie Mame – and the message of living life to the fullest, feeling not just okay with being different but embracing it, hit my heart in a way that would resonate forever after. Leave it to Suzie to find another movie that changed my life (after the darker foot-steps of ‘Harold & Maude’).

From that point on, ‘Auntie Mame’ was the movie I played before each and every holiday party, to calm the nerves and put me – and whomever else happened to be around – in a festive spirit. Mame’s exuberance and love of life was infectious – it was impossible not to be swept up in her enthusiasm. She was knocked around a bit (going broke, losing a husband) but she always buoyed back to the surface, spirits somehow held high by a supporting cast of off-beat characters that she considered family – because she had to: she only had her nephew.

Can we take a moment to pay homage to the fashion too? Auntie Mame is a thorough-bred clothes-horse. The hats/fascinators alone are a wonder to behold. The garments that go with them are just as head-turning. Even her robe – an extravagant ostrich-feather-lined (lined, not bordered – LINED!) defines luxurious lounge-wear. Velvets, silk taffeta, and crystal beading combine for one eye-popping outfit after another. With her ever-changing hairstyles and colors, she was one of the original chameleons, morphing from one look to another as her living room transformed with her current obsession. Such shape-shifting was an inspiration, but the core of who she was – a champion for the outsider – remained intact. That’s my idea of a role model.

A few weeks ago I recommended to Andy that we start working on moving some things out of the kitchen, as it must be completely empty by December 2, when renovations are set to begin. Why yes, that’s less than two weeks away, and this is the last weekend I’m in town. I’d do it myself, except nothing in the kitchen is mine. As expected, nothing has been done yet, but I’m actually not concerned. I’ve made it clear that I’m not moving things on the night of December 1, so if he wants any help with it he’ll do it sooner rather than later.

Personally, I’m of a mind to trash the majority of things – food and otherwise – as some things are simply never used, while others are surely well beyond their expiration dates (we have spices and canned goods from the 1990’s). It’s the most wonderful time of the year to clear out and consolidate.

As for planning ahead, the last time I recommended we pack up kitchen items early – when we moved into our current home in 2002 – Andy ended up packing things up at 4AM on the morning we were set to move. History has a way of repeating itself. (I wasn’t concerned then, and I’m not concerned now.)

I don’t smile enough in a lot of photos posted here. Most of The Pictures are brooding, contemplative poses, with downcast or searching eyes, avoiding the lens, avoiding the viewer, always separate, always distant. When I do smile, it is often fake, or forced, so when I get a fun friend like Kira to pose with me, you get a rare glimpse of what I’m like in real life. There’s no strict stringency to it, no precise perfectionism at work. It’s just me goofing off with a cherished friend. These are better than any racy underwear pics or naked skin shots. They are unchoreographed, unplanned, and caught completely on the fly. In this instance, we were on our way out to dinner, after a glass of wine. Kira didn’t realize that the camera was going to take more than one photo, so she broke away and started laughing when it continued to click. Which only made me laugh more. Yeah, you had to be there.