Category Archives: Gay

Homoerotic Superheroes

What is it about homos and superheroes? Ever since I was a young boy, I’ve had an affinity to them. Granted, at first it was Wonder Woman, but I was also enchanted by Spiderman and Batman. It’s not just me – many gay guys and gals are enamored of those with special powers. Like the mutants of the X-Men, we have long been outsiders. Those who are different, even in ways not always outwardly seen, often have a bigger cross to bear, and perhaps we recognize in others who struggle with such difference a resonant thread of loneliness.

It wasn’t just about their bulging biceps, bulging thighs, or bulging, well, bulges, but their double identities: Batman was Bruce Wayne, Superman was Clark Kent, Spiderman was Peter Parker, and Wonder Woman was Diana Prince. They were normal working-class people except for when the situation called for something more.

In many ways, being gay is both boon and albatross. It hinders in some aspects, in its isolating way of separating us from heterosexuals – while helping in others, in the way it makes us stronger. We’re good at going to battle, and winning, because we’ve had no other choice. When you’re consistently attacked or others have tried to repeatedly make you feel less than equal, you buck up and develop whatever special powers you can, or you die. Straight people simply don’t have the same kind of struggles. (They have different ones, of course, but they don’t usually know what it’s like to walk into a room and feel like the odd man, or woman, out.)

Some of the unlikely art that managed to disguise its homoerotic undertones while putting it right in the hands of teenage boys, was to be found in superhero comic books. One such illustrator of said work is J.C. Etheredge, an artist whose virtues I extolled in this essay, and who continues to produce artwork that straddles the line between art and commerce, popularity and pornography. His focus on Superheroes has resulted in superb work, and some might say a healthy dose of magic (based on how he can make even a scrawny guy like me look big and buff and built). Etheredge understands what it’s like to be an outsider, and what it means to be different, but rather than run from it or hide, he’s put it all out there. That’s a special kind of superpower: the ability to so completely be yourself – and it’s something that eludes most of us, gay or straight or choose-your-own-adventure.

PS – I’ve achieved Cheesecake Boy status before, but I’ve never been a Superhero… until now. Thanks J.C.!

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Grady Smith: The guy who’s gay but not acting on it

At first, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I know what it’s like to struggle with a devotion to the faith and religion in which you were raised when you are a gay person whose religion condemns homosexuality. Even today, I find it difficult to reconcile the safe, life-affirming comfort of the church in which I grew up and served as an altar boy with the Bible-quoting God-fearing zealots who would have me stoned for loving my husband. That’s not an easy thing to go through, but I did it because I knew that what I was doing was not sinful. There is no sin in loving another person, even if he happens to be the same sex as me. And there is no sin in expressing that love. But before I start eviscerating what you may not have seen, take a few minutes to hear Grady Smith, a self-proclaimed gay Christian, explain his choices:

My first feeling upon listening to you, Grady Smith, was one of profound sadness and pity. How lonely to give up your desires, to give up your love, to give up and give in to the antiquated and archaic rules of a civilization long-ago ruined. How pathetic to even entertain the notion of entering into a marriage with a woman to raise children knowing full-well you are a gay man who will never feel the same excitement or attraction to a woman. (That’s sort of how being gay works, Mr. Smith.) Above all, how terrifying and joyless to live in constant suppression of what was admittedly a natural, God-given desire for the same sex.

After a few moments, however, my feelings turned to anger. This is the same exact theory that drives the notion of “Love the sinner, Hate the sin” – a sentiment that you so easily dismiss, only to stand behind in action. The problem isn’t with Christianity, or your belief system, but in the limited interpretation of the Bible that, if you are going to read and follow so strictly, should also have you drastically revising your view of shellfish, slavery, and stonings. The rigid thinking you want so badly to decry is the very thinking you are espousing for yourself.

Mr. Smith, that “huge suffocating culture of shame that covers anything that even touches the word gay” which you reference and rightfully condemn comes from Christians like yourself, who choose to perpetuate the shame by proposing and living out a life that is forced, unnatural, and goes against the very grain of how they were born. The guy who’s gay but not acting on it… that is a definite conundrum, and there’s not much room for true happiness there. You may not want my pity, but you have it.

After gritting my teeth and almost talking back to the computer screen (something I never, ever do), my anger subsided, and the freedom to do what Grady Smith is doing – to talk about his conflict – is something I will always defend. Here’s a guy who is going to put his life and his journey out there, not unlike the certain someone typing away here, and although I still cannot bring myself to respect Mr. Smith, I can honor the process. And in so doing, I can also say that Mr. Smith is full of shit.

If you really want to change the culture of this whole beast, Mr. Smith, then start by thinking of that one young gay boy who sits alone and terrified that his nature should never be acted on, that he should never kiss the man of his dreams, that he should never become what it was his destiny to become. Think of that lonely gay kid who feels, based on your example, that he should never be who he was born to be, and that he should never find love or, worse, act on it. Think of the many horrific ways in which that might warp a young gay person into the very perversion you are trying so desperately to excise. That’s the real abomination at work here.

Grady, I hope that one day you are able to stop fighting who you are. God did make you in His own image. Why would you want to suppress all that it encompasses?

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The Sparkling Personalities of Gay Pride Albany

You know we live in topsy-turvy times when Andy’s yellow pants trump my greatest sequin efforts, but that’s exactly the reaction we got from those who know us best. Of course, I made a valiant effort and good showing even if his buttercup butt stole the day. I’m ok with that, as long as he doesn’t make it a regular occurrence. (And I’ve got a few tricks in my closet that should insure it won’t be.)

This year Albany’s Gay Pride Parade and Festival took place on a nearly perfect day. Usually, this day is sweltering hot or pouring rain. We lucked out for once, and the sequins could shine in all their glory – especially when given a double-jolt by my brilliant Sparkle Queen counterpoint, the ever-fabulous Duchess Ivanna.

Bea Arthur at her solid-gold-dancer’s-mother finest couldn’t hold a candle to the two of us, even if she was trying to bag a priest. Looks like this lady got the sequin memo too.

The day brought out some of my favorite people in Albany – old and new friends alike – as seen in this contingent of happy faces from the Capital Pride Center.

The HomoRadio crew was headed up by Sean and Ulysses.

I have mercifully cropped out the shoes of this otherwise-beautiful shot with Brenda and Marline (you’re welcome).

The ladies and gentlemen of the Rocks float, waving to the adoring throngs.

It was also a day of meeting FaceBook friends like Jai in person for the first time. (And I daresay he may have managed to out-sassy me in this pose – no mean feat.)

Oh look, it’s Oh Bar!

On our way out, we ran into two very dear friends we’ve known for over thirteen years ~ Bob and Jeff.

It was the perfect end to a perfect day of Pride.

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Happy Pride Albany! (And Boston!)

For someone so supposedly egotistical, it may seem strange that I’ve never been the biggest pusher when it comes to Gay Pride. I’ll put on the leopard and sequins (which in my case is not so much a stereotypical gay pride thing as much as just another outfit I’ve worn to the supermarket) and I’ll watch the parade and often shed a tear or two at how moving certain parts are, but for the most part I don’t feel the need to put on a show about it. I display my pride every day of the year that I live openly as a gay man. That takes more integrity and courage than waving a rainbow flag around on the one day it’s suddenly ok for everyone to be gay.

That said, I won’t ever deny the importance of the day and the significance of its history. This is more than just an excuse to dress up and revel in our pride – it’s a day to remember where we came from, and how just a few short years ago we didn’t have as much as we have now. It’s also an inspiration for how far we still need to go. As long as there are hate crimes, as long as there is homophobia, and as long as we don’t have marriage equality throughout the world, there will always be a reason for celebrating Pride.

 

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Give Out Day – All Day, Today!

Today’s the day! This is the time when your donation to the Give Out campaign counts toward helping the Capital Pride Center continue its excellent programming and services, while confirming its vital place in the community. This is a day of support from the LGBTQ community as well as our straight allies, as it shows that everyone who contributes is a supporter of equal rights and acceptance for all. As the battle for marriage equality rages across the country, and as LGBTQ people continue to face hate crimes and discrimination, it is more important than ever to show our solidarity.

The Capital Pride Center is a great organization, and as the longest continually-running pride center in the country it has a place in our great gay history. Help me to put the Pride Center on the map as one of the top Give Out Day fundraisers for this fun day. You can donate online here – and you don’t even have to leave the house to do so!

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Top Banana in the Shock Department

“You mustn’t give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they’re strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky.”

On Friday, June 13, 2014, the eve of Capital Pride Albany, GLSEN will be holding their fabulous formal fete – and this year it will be based on a ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s‘ theme. I’ve always found that movie very glamorous, but with an undercurrent of serious and sometimes melancholy intent. The party will focus on the glamour and the fun, with an undercurrent of support for a worthy cause. There’s nothing I like better than a party for a good reason, and in this instance you get to feel good about feeling good.

This enchanting event will take place one month from today, on Friday, June 13, 2014 – the evening before the Pride Parade and Festival. As the only somewhat formal event of the Pride season, this is your chance to get dolled-up, slip into something spectacular (with a feather boa if it’s to your fancy), and mingle with some of the finest folks – all at the rustically elegant Albany Lake House. Relax – the black tie is optional – no one is going to go all Anna Wintour on your ass – we just want you to show up and enjoy yourself!

The event runs early, from 5:30 to 8 PM, so as to give you ample time for pre-Pride partying after our get-together. You may order tickets (starting at $40) at their website, www.glsengala.org, to insure you don’t get left out of the loop. All funds benefit GLSEN YouthPride and The Center Youth Scholarship Fund. I hope to see you there! (You simply must see my shoes…)

“It’s useful being top banana in the shock department.” ~ Breakfast at Tiffany’s

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The Next Big Thing

Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? …Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it. Nothing very bad could happen to you there. ~ Breakfast At Tiffany’s

The social event of the Pride Season has just been announced: A ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ Formal Evening Affaire will take place on Friday, June 13, 2014 ~ on the eve of Albany’s Pride Festival. Last year’s Great Gatsby Formal Party was a great event, and this year looks to top it. (My shoes alone promise to be worth the price of admission.) This event is one you can enjoy on every level because it’s put on by a great organization ~ the New York Capital Region Chapter of GLSEN ~ the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network ~ which means you can have fun knowing you are helping out with a great cause. All proceeds go to The Pride Center of The Capital Region’s Youth Scholarship Fund, a competitive program founded to assist graduating seniors with the cost of entering college and YouthPride, GLSEN – NYCR’s program for LGBT youth and their allies.

There’s something special in the air during the season of Pride – an electricity, a glamour, a heightened sense of enchantment where charmed events like this one are rife with magical moments. It’s not something you can put into words, and it’s not something that bears explanation the morning-after ~ you simply must be there when it happens. On June 13, 2014 the magic happens at the Washington Park Lake House. Get your tickets now and be part of the ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s Formal Evening Affaire.’

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Giving Out: Remember the Date

May is the month when it all happens. The height of spring, the roll-out to summer, the race to Memorial Day. This year proves no exception – in fact, there’s even more happening than usual. Mark down this date:  Thursday, May 15, 2014.

This will be Give Out Day, a 24-hour period of online giving for the LGBTQ community and our allies. Last year, the Pride Center of the Capital Region did exceptionally well in raising funds for its mission, and this year they’re looking to do even better. The Pride Center has always held a special place in my heart, not only for my work as the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery, but also for the vital role they play in the community.

On May 15, 2014, the plan is to get as many donations as possible in a 24-hour period. Last year, the Pride Center was the #1 fundraiser of smaller non-profit groups. In so many ways, this is the little organization that could. It bears repeating that the Pride Center of the Capital Region is the longest continually-operating LGBTQ center in the country. That says a lot for us, and it’s the people who have made it such a lasting operation.

If you’d like to give, be sure to do so at any time on May 15, 2014. (You can also contribute now so you don’t forget, with this neat feature set up to tabulate contributions on May 15 – a boon to those of us who find our days over-run with busy-ness.) Since this is mainly an online event, there’s no need to get dolled up and dressy about it, but there are opportunities for that as well. Two Happy Hours at two of my favorite places (Mingle and Oh Bar) will take place from 4 to 6 PM on that day as well. However, the best part of this is that your support and help can all be done online without leaving the comfort of your home or the palm of your hand. For further information, visit the Pride Center’s website here.

Engage. Support. Give.

Online fundraising for Give OUT Day - Alan Bennett Ilagan

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Those Promiscuous Gays

Sometimes it seems we need a Visio Organizational Chart to keep track of the gay-listers and their dating histories. Politically-incorrect title of this post aside, and stereotypical characterizations of gay men as sex-obsessed bed-hoppers suspended, it’s interesting to note how we navigate the tumultuous waters of dating – particularly when the spotlight of this online-age sees almost all.

Let’s take, for instance, the tangled web of the men featured in this post. We begin with Reichen Lehmkuhl, who started off, if I remember correctly, as a model gracing the cover of Instinct. From there, his star rose in ‘The Amazing Race’ and then the gay-themed soap ‘Dante’s Cove’. He capped off the last decade with a stint on the gay reality series ‘The A-List.’ (And let’s not forget his Hunk of the Day honor.) He first dated Chip Arndt, then moved on to Lance Bass. And Rodiney Santiago (seen above.) And Ryan Barry (seen below.)

As for Lance Bass, he moved on to Pedro Andrade. And Ben Thigpen. And Michal Turchin, to whom he is now engaged. Let’s end on that happy note, because pretty soon the exes may start dating each other, and that’s going to make heads explode.

(Actually, maybe it’s just two guys who dated a lot of other guys…)

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He’d Like To Put You In A Trance

Erotica‘ – the new collection of stories by Brian Centrone – is being released as an e-book today (paper version to come.) It’s a special thrill to see a work that combines words and images. Having been bombarded with gay porn and videos since the advent of the internet, it’s a welcome throwback to something that’s somehow more engaging, more meaningful, and in many ways more of a turn-on. There is nothing sexier than one’s own imagination, and that’s exactly what comes into play when words are involved.

Published by New Lit Salon Press, this is a compilation of gay erotic short stories penned by Mr. Centrone. The seven scintillating tales, one for every deadly sin, are accompanied by artwork from Terry Blas, luke kurtis, Rob Ordonez, and the name-sake for this very blog. As amazing as the work of my fellow art contributors is (and it is pretty damn amazing, handily putting my photos to slight shame,) it has always been the words that resonate most deeply, as noted in the press release:

Brian Centrone has been publishing erotic literary fiction since 2007. “Mates,” “Lost,” and “Team Player” are the three works Centrone published with Alyson Books. “These three stories were the start of my writing career,” claims Centrone. “They were my first major published pieces of fiction, and my first paid writing gig.” Erotica also features the previously published “Making the Grade,” Centrone’s only story with Cleis Press, and the online-only story, “Boracay,” which was featured in the now defunct THIS Literary Magazine. Rounding out this collection are two new stories, never before published: “Getting What He Wants” and “Chubstr.”

Beyond the sexy stories, Centrone’s works showcase that erotica can be literary. These stories are written with the same attention to detail, construction, and quality which readers have come to expect from traditional short stories. Centrone is a writer at heart, and whether he’s writing about a religious zealot who decides to run for small town political office (“The Life and Times of Biddy Schumacher,” I Voted for Biddy Schumacher: Mismatched Tales from the Mind of Brian Centrone) or a young man seeking to mend his broken heart and broken sex life all the way around the world (“Boracay,” Erotica), he does so with such honesty, depth, and understanding that every reader can appreciate and relate.

New Lit Salon Press is an independent publisher that subscribes to the belief that Words and Art can and should coexist. NLSP injects new life into an old-world ideal by publishing essays, stories, poems, novels and art in digital format.

‘Erotica’ by Brian Centrone is available in e-book form starting today, with a hard copy version being release at a later date. Mr. Centrone has a website, and can be found on FaceBook and Twitter as well.

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The Gay Soirée: Fashionable Indulgence

In the barren stretch of this drab winter, everyone needs a beacon of sparkling hope to see us through. For me, that’s going to be The Gay Soirée – and you are cordially invited to join me. In keeping with the glamorous nature of the evening, I’ve been working on an outfit that is designed to be both funky and fabulous, with a racy juxtaposition of masculine and feminine to go with the gender-bending bohemian acceptance of the night. Drag queens and drag kings will bump padded shoulders with the most fashionable style harbingers of Albany (and beyond).

When dressing for a party as spectacular as this upcoming one, it’s important to plan your wardrobe in advance. It gives you time for tailoring, time for accessorizing, and time for taking test photographs. There’s nothing worse than realizing your nipples (or your junk) can be seen in the harsh light of a camera flash. Though for this event, that may not be a bad thing. (Also, if you get your tickets in advance of this event, you can save $20 on each. In other ways, it pays, literally, to plan ahead.)

For an event like The Gay Soirée, over-the-top excess is expected, and the more glamorous and flamboyant, the better. This is not an evening to blend in. This is a chance to show off – and I intend to do just that. In other words, get your tickets now.

{ The Gay Soirée will take place on Saturday, February 8, 2014 at The State House located at 142 State Street. VIP Tickets are available for $75, which includes a VIP reception hour with a wine bar; Regular tickets are available now for $45. If tickets remain, they will be available the night of the event for $65. All proceeds go directly to the Capital Pride Center.}

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When Cute People Say Really Stupid Things

My God some people are too dumb to function. Juan Pablo Galavis, the latest “star” of the television show ‘The Bachelor’  – (which I have never seen and never will) was recently interviewed and asked whether a gay person might make a good ‘Bachelor’ and here’s the ridiculous nonsense he spewed from his ignorant mouth. (If I didn’t hear the interview with my own ears, I never would have believed that someone could be so publicly foolish.)

“I respect them, but honestly I don’t think it’s a good example for kids to watch that on TV.”

“Obviously people have their husband and wife and kids and that is how we are brought up. Now there is fathers having kids and all that, and it is hard for me to understand that too in the sense of a household having peoples… Two parents sleeping in the same bed and the kid going into bed… It is confusing in a sense.”

“There’s this thing about gay people that… it seems to me, and I don’t know if I’m mistaken or not, but I meant, I have a lot of friends like that, but they’re more ‘pervert’ in a sense. And to me the show would be too strong… too hard to watch.”

 

You know what’s hard to watch? An attractive young man (especially one who’s had a child out of wedlock and is not exactly an expert on raising kids in a “mother and father” household) say such things about gay people. That’s hard to watch. Luckily, I don’t have to. (By the way, if you go to this link that has the audio interview, you can hear his words for yourself – I’ve not had to edit anything to make it seem more hateful. It is what it is.)

No matter how cute you are, the stain of intolerance and hatred is ugly on everyone – and it’s the toughest stain to eradicate. Those words will be with him for the rest of his life, and the daughter that he so lovingly dotes on and does everything for, has just been saddled with a legacy of ignorance and intolerance. That’s more perverted than anything I could ever do as a gay man.

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The Gay Soirée: An Invitation

It will be, quite simply, the hottest social event of the winter season, and you are cordially invited to attend.

Decadent, delightful, and nothing-short-of-divine, prepare for an evening of wild fashion, beautifully-blurred gender, and over-the-top eros – where everyone is welcome and no one is alone. As Norma Desmond once proclaimed over flaming red satin, “Let’s make it gay!” And so we shall… This will be The Gay Soirée.

One month from tonight ~ Saturday, February 8, 2014 ~ at a fabulous venue – The State Room – located at 142 State Street, Albany, NY ~ from 7 to 10 PM, we will return to the deliciously debauched world of the 1930’s, when cabarets spilled over with beautiful bohemians, sexy clientele, and to-die-for fashion. The music was hot, the cocktails were cool, and the guests were glitteringly gay (in any sense of the word).

That same magic will be conjured for The Gay Soirée. Ambiance and atmosphere provided by 1930’s cabaret music from Sonny & Perley, with dance music by DJ Robb Penders. Tickets may be purchased at www.capitalpridecenter.org or by calling 518-462-6138, and are $45 in advance, or $65 on the night of the event. There are also VIP tickets available at $75 which includes a 6 PM VIP Reception (during which complimentary wine will be on hand). All proceeds go directly to The Pride Center of the Capital Region, so you can feel good about feeling good.

Even if I wasn’t the Honorary Chair for this event, this is a party I would most certainly attend. (Since I am, you should see what I’m going to wear.) Get your tickets early so you don’t miss out!

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Tom Daley is Dating A Guy

Holy shit.

Yes, Tom Daley, as he explains in this intimate and moving video, is dating a guy.

Though he says he still fancies girls, he had found a guy who makes him feel “so happy, and safe, and everything just feels great”.

That’s love.

“Right now I’m dating a guy, and I couldn’t be happier.” ~ Tom Daley

There are lots of questions left – is he gay? – but for now, I say congrats, and wish him well.

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A Glambert Reborn

Though I haven’t seen ‘Glee’ in years, someone posted this on FaceBook and I was instantly reminded of why I loved Adam Lambert. He’s already been named a Hunk of the Day here, but if Tom Daley can get more than one shout-out, surely Mr. Lambert deserves just as much (if not more). There is no better show-man, and when the stellar theatrics are backed by such an amazing instrument (his voice, gutter-dwellers) I am nothing if not blown-away.

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