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Category Archives: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale

06
April
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Music
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Give Me The Hook Or the Ovation

While I was born in the 70’s and grew up in the 80’s, my main gay awareness arrived in the 90’s, long after the disco world of Gloria Gaynor and this dance version of ‘I Am What I Am’ tore up the floors. I happened upon it on a compilation CD I found in a Provincetown music store, and it wasn’t just because of the underwear-clad male model on the cover, I swear. I also knew the song from ‘La Cage Aux Folles’ so the melody and sentiment were familiar. It spoke to my burgeoning gay sensibility on another plane. 

I am what I amI am my own special creationSo come take a lookGive me the hook or the ovation

It’s my world that I want to have a little pride inMy world and it’s not a place I have to hide inLife’s not worth a damn‘Til you can say, I am what I am

A musical reference to Provincetown feels apt at this moment – and whenever I think of Provincetown I think of little jewels of moments – this one is a snippet of one of my first visits. Making my way back to whatever accommodations I had after a night out, I found myself pausing at the privet fence of a little cottage on some side street off Commercial. The blooms on the hedge, always so simple and unassuming, perfumed the night air; it was the scent of summer, the scent of beauty. 

I am what I amI don’t want praise, I don’t want pityI bang my own drumSome think it’s noise, I think it’s pretty

I remember peering into the cottage windows, where a Tiffany lamp glowed, bathing the space in warm light. It looked so cozy and inviting, and even though it was summer and more than warm enough outside, it was still night. I longed for a place that was warm and lit like that, and while the perfume of the privet flowers tickled my nose, and a night breeze ran its cool fingers through my hair, I couldn’t see that place in my future just yet.

And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle?Why not try to see things from a different angle?Your life is a sham‘Til you can shout out, I am what I am
I am what I amAnd what I am needs no excusesI deal my own deckSometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces

Peering into the house a little while longer, I wondered at its owners and inhabitants, at the lives they lived, and the people they loved, and in that idea was hope and exhaustion and the exquisite murkiness of what might lie ahead for me. Snippets of whatever gay dance song was big at the moment played in my head, or maybe it was this song, discovered in this town, decades after it first came out, just as I was coming out, just when I needed most to believe…

It’s one life and there’s no return and no depositOne life, so it’s time to open up your closetLife’s not worth a damn‘Til you can shout out, I am what I am

I am what I amAnd what I am needs no excusesI deal my own deckSometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
It’s one life and there’s no return and no depositOne life, so it’s time to open up your closetLife’s not worth a damn‘Til you can shout out, I am what I am

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One.

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06
April
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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A Winter Coat of Powder Blue Fur

Shooting this section of the Divine Diva Tour came with the unexpected price I had to pay here. It was the hefty price of shame and humiliation, and the pay-off was a hearty dose of laughter at my own expense – a lesson worth more than anyone could ever afford. But there was something more serious at work, and upon this turn of our Fairy’s Tale the kaleidoscopic nature of the project comes into better focus. This marks about the tenth persona/image featured in The Divine Diva Tour, and it is here where we see that one of the main tenets of the project is its shifting nature: the masks and guises we wear, the characters we play and inhabit, all of whom work together to make us the singular presence the world thinks it knows us to be. 

‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, that’s lifeTryin to make ends meet, you’re a slave to money then you dieI’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been downYou know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah…

No change, I can changeI can change, I can changeBut I’m here in my moldI am here in my moldBut I’m a million different peopleFrom one day to the nextI can’t change my moldNo, no, no, no, no(Have you ever been down?)

Well, I’ve never prayed but tonight I’m on my knees, yeahI need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeahI let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free nowBut the airwaves are clean and there’s nobody singin’ to me now
No change, I can changeI can change, I can changeBut I’m here in my moldI am here in my moldAnd I’m a million different peopleFrom one day to the nextI can’t change my moldNo, no, no, no, no(Have you ever been down?)I can’t change, oh, noI can’t change, oh

‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, that’s lifeTryin to make ends meet, tryna find somebody then you dieI’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been downYou know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah

You know I can change, I can changeI can change, I can changeBut I’m here in my moldI am here in my moldAnd I’m a million different peopleFrom one day to the next
I can’t change my moldNo, no, no, no, no
I can’t change my moldNo, no, no, no, no,I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no

It’s just sex and violence, melody and silenceIt’s just sex and violence, melody and silenceI’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been downI’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.

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06
April
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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Freed from a Cemetery, A Diva Laughs

When last we left off, I was locked in the Albany Rural Cemetery, and here is what I was wearing. 

Without a change of clothes or a cel phone (in 2005 I didn’t even own a cel phone yet because I hated them so much) I had a moment of panic. Looking at the caretaker’s house to my left, I leaned hard on the horn, desperate for someone to save me. There was movement in the window, and then a muffled shout of anger: “If you want to get out, you can come up to the house and ask me to unlock the gate in person!”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

I looked in the mirror again.

My hair was a mess from having been stuffed in a blonde wig and fake fur hat. My make-up, a clown-show to begin with, was a dismal visage. With only a tissue or two in the car, I tried to wipe as much off as I could, but when you have this much on there’s not much that’s going to come off with a dry tissue. There wasn’t much I could do about the rest of the ensemble – unless I took it all off on this winter afternoon. 

Backing the car up, I made one last plea with the universe and waited to see if some Good Samaritan might come out, but Good Samaritans just don’t play a part in my life. Never have and never will. I took a deep breath, channeled my annoyance into fight mode in the event that I needed to argue my way out of the cemetery, and approached the door of the house. I knocked and heard movement inside. 

An agitated woman flung open the door, and I could see she was about to launch into a tirade about how rude I was to simply beep and expect the gates to open, when she was struck silent by the persona before her. Mouth agape, no sound came from her, so I spoke in agitated fashion: “THIS is why I didn’t want to come to the door,” I said sternly, with a dramatic flourish of my hand to indicate the outfit that needed no further attention being brought to it. “I’m working on a sort of art project that… well, never mind…” and I trailed off. 

“Oh,” she said, a smile finally breaking upon her face.

And then the kicker: she called her husband to come over. “You gotta see this!” she intoned with a glee that I suspected might have been laced with malevolence, until she softened and said, “No problem, he’ll let you out!”

Assured that I had paid my dues by giving them both a story to tell all her friends and family for the next few years, she merrily set me free, and I returned home fully traumatized, but strangely revitalized. Suddenly, ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale’ had a comedic element that presented itself like a hidden jewel, unlocking the key aspect that took out the entirely-too-earnest and serious stance that I gave to all of my projects up to that point. Rather than a studied and meticulously glamorous romp, I could see the silliness of the endeavor, and face the fact that I would never be a true diva.

Because a truly divine diva wouldn’t be caught dead locked up in a cemetery.

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One.

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05
April
2025
Tags: Albany, Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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Trapped in a Cemetery, A Diva Laments

The Albany Rural Cemetery is a place of beauty, tranquility, respite and repose. Expansive and sprawling, it unfurls in gently rolling hills and little stretches of woodland. It is ancient and steeped in history (it is the resting place for President Chester Arthur) and the crumbling sections and fallen fences in some areas lend it the weight and gravitas of centuries. No other place puts the essence of time in such stark relief than a cemetery. 

This particular cemetery has provided the dramatic backdrop for many photos over the years, particularly those found in the ‘StoneLight’ project. I’ve spent many creative hours seeking out spaces here, always finding sources of inspiration, tableaus that spark other branches of ideas. 

When it came time to find backdrops for The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, the Albany Rural Cemetery was forefront in my mind for two very big shoots – the spring freshness of this Purple Puff piece and this dreamy, delicious, queer and dear post. It was the perfect prancing ground for the fairy’s tale being told. I also wanted to shoot a winter scene here, which brings us to the background story that ended up overshadowing the entire Divine Diva Tour experience, as it’s the story that still gets told to this day when nothing else from this project remains relevant. 

One of the main reasons I kept coming back here was the relative quiet and unpopulated nature of the space, particularly in the secluded, off-the-beaten-path sections I could drive to along winding and largely untraveled little roads. There were occasional walkers and visitors, but it wasn’t difficult to avoid them in the more neglected areas. It made posing in a big puffy purple dress possible without prying eyes. (Or posing in what I wore for the powder blue winter landscape I am about to show you.)

For that shoot, I waited until the golden hour, which came early in the winter – around 4 PM. I entered the gates and turned down the volume of whatever music I had playing – my little way of showing respect to the surroundings. I’d worn the particular costume for the shoot in the car, which was a ridiculous faux fur coat, a lace skirt, some ruffled bloomers and lace stockings, and a faux fur hat that matched the coat. I hadn’t bothered to bring along another change of clothing because I only intended to get a few quick pics and return home. I even had insane make-up on to go with the scene, and a crazy wig of platinum blonde ringlets. The gates disappeared behind me as I drove further in, as did the sign of the cemetery hours that I had never taken notice of, and soon I was flouncing about in the snow and capturing the winter scene you see before you. 

By the time the sun was down, I’d gotten the shots I needed, squeezed the silly ensemble back into the car, and drove back out the way I had come in, only now the gates were closed. Closed and locked. Having never stayed later in the day, I had no idea that the cemetery closed and locked up at any time. To the left of the driveway out, right near the gates, I noticed the caretaker’s little house, and a car in the space beside it. I was about to get out, when I looked in the mirror, saw the clown make-up, and realized I was in a crazy get-up of powder blue fur and lace that would simply not allow me to leave the vehicle. I did the only thing I could do: leaned on the horn briefly, in as friendly a way as I could muster, so whomever was inside might press a button and let me out. 

And nothing happened. 

I was locked in the Albany Rural Cemetery, I had no cel phone, and most importantly nothing appropriate to wear if I even managed to get the police to arrive. When you see how I looked, in the next post, you’ll understand the predicament a bit better.

…{~To Be Continued~}…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
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29
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Speedo
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The Blue Speedo Poolside

This slightly infamous blue speedo made its debut in The Divine Diva Tour Book: A Fairy’s Tale way back in 2005, in photos featured within the spread seen here. My body is currently a far cry from the one so flagrantly on display below, and I’ve come to terms with it in relative peace. In fact, most of the tantrums of getting older seem to be had by some of my straight male friends, whose sensitive nature is such that they won’t be named or called out, but they know who they are. As a gay man of a certain age, I don’t pretend not to notice the chill that gray hair and a burgeoning belly has on the spell I could once cast on an unsuspecting public, but I’ve always preferred going unnoticed than having all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus…

Don’t believe me? Look it up. 

This particular photo shoot inspired one of my favorite artists, Michael Breyette, to immortalize me in one of his pastel portraits, which has been one of the greatest honors of my life. To be stilled in time by such a hero, frozen in a summer moment that I would never capture again, fills me with gratitude. Far more than that, it’s proof that I was young once, that I existed, that I roamed and romped on this earth, and long after I’m gone a gorgeous remnant like this might remain. 

As I approach my 50th year on earth, I feel differently about time – less frantic, less rushed – which is odd because by reason I should be feeling the opposite in the fleetingness of it all. And yes, I do sense the rush of it, how the days seem to move faster and faster, but I’m better at letting the rush brush by me as I keep to my own pace. 

I’ve always taken a little longer to get things; I still don’t know how to tie a shoe without making bunny ears because they simply went too quickly that day in school and I was too shy to ask them to slow down. 

The contradiction is apparent and always has been. Devilry and divinity each exist because of the other. To be divine is to master the art of not being a devil, but to paraphrase Milton, better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. Inspiring infuriation has always been a talent. A naughty wink or a naughty pucker – both with an exquisite and delicious taint…

And so closes another chapter of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale – reminding me just what a hot mess I was back then, and how delightfully messy this whole project was. 

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part One and Part Two.

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29
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Music
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Sunset Pool Dreaming

From behind the mirrored shade of his sunglasses, he watched the sun descend behind a grand oak tree. This is what was rightly called the golden hour, and everything looked better at this time of the day. The universe moves so quickly, he thought, willing the moment to be still, willing the clock to stop, failing and flailing at every turn. What else to do but listen to a song and hope that a memory sticks?

Dream, when you’re feeling blueDream, that’s the thing to doDream while the smoke rings rise in the airYou’ll find your share of memories there

Remembering summer days is most often a waste of a winter, even if it feels good. If you learn to embrace the winter as much as you embrace the summer, you’ll find that life is a lot happier. Summer feels richer then too. 

So, dream when the day is throughDream, and they might come trueThings never are as bad as they seemSo, dream, dream, dream
But this is spring, and in spring we dream. The Divine Diva Tour is about to take a turn into dreamland – into the fantastical forests of our childhood, when magic reigned and a unicorn lurked around every corner. The tale of a fairy isn’t always a fairy tale, but you’ll see that soon enough. You also have to meet a powder blue ice princess before we head into the woods. Mother said straight ahead, not to delay or be mislead… 
Dream, when the day is throughDream, and they might come trueThings never are as bad as they seemSo, dream, dream, dream, dreamSo, dream, dream, dream

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part One.

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29
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Music
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A Pink-Coated Pool Frolic

The recent online posting of ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale‘ dovetails neatly with the spring dream theme currently playing out on our website, as our latest entry rekindles a dreamy summer day in the pool – harkening to the past and hinting at the summer to come. Such a crux is fertile ground for mental rumination, and to set the tone, keep scrolling to hear a dream-themed musical selection for your aural gratification. 

Every night I hope and prayA dream lover will come my wayA girl to hold in my armsAnd know the magic of her charms‘Cause I want a girl to call my own I want a dream loverSo I don’t have to dream alone

Dream lover, where are youWith a love, oh, so trueAnd the hand that I can holdTo feel you near as I grow old
‘Cause I want a girl to call my own I want a dream loverSo I don’t have to dream alone

Someday, I don’t know howI hope she’ll hear my pleaSome way, I don’t know howShe’ll bring her love to me
Dream lover, until thenI’ll go to sleep and dream againThat’s the only thing to do‘Til all my lover’s dreams come true‘Cause I want a girl to call my ownI want a dream loverSo I don’t have to dream alone

While it took place over twenty years ago, I still remember this photo shoot – it was a rare one that Andy agreed to do since I was tired of trying to grapple with a tripod in the pool. We’d had a delivery of steaks from my parents, and I hastened to make use of the dry ice in a martini glass.

Fluff and filler, the pictures formed a bit of padding in an already frivolous tour book, but there were darker turns to come, and knowing this I let the photos have their moment. 

Please don’t make me dream aloneI beg you don’t make me dream aloneNo, I don’t wanna dream alone…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
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22
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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A Precarious Pink Pirouette

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” ~ Martha Graham

“I was pirouette and flourish, I was filigree and flame. How could I count my blessings when I didn’t know their names?” ~ Rita Dove

We have reached one of the first fissures of ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale’, where the easy and light escapism gives way to something dimmer and more disturbing – a dark ballet indeed. A certain amount make-believe and imagination is a necessity – and largely lost in todays world, so this may have less power and import than it did twenty years ago, when those things were still activated at a young age. Now, our imaginations, and the way a child can live within their own mind, has been supplanted by phones and online machinations. Society is already so much worse for it. 

Twenty years ago, however, there was a danger of living too much within one’s imagination, and getting lost in the forest of that space. That’s the moment we are arriving at in this fairy’s tale, and it sets the stage for darker paths to follow…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One and Part Two.

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22
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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Winter Dance in the Golden Hour

Flitting across the snow, feet frozen through satin shoes, he cuts a figure akin to some preciously-early sakura blossom gliding along the winter landscape – a dainty wisp of a thing, almost ethereal rather than real. Not made long for this earth, anyhow. Tricked by the sun then smothered by the snow, a bait and switch of the cruelest  kind, this tiny ballerina has but the briefest life – and it lasts as long as the dance…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One.

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22
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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A Sugar Plum Ballerina

‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale’ picks up where it left off – in flights of fancy and fantasy, all pink tulle and voluminous tutu and feathers in one’s hair. This sugar plum ballerina moment is silly and ripe for ridicule, but I learned a valuable lesson from all of it: tights and a tutu do not keep a package warm in the winter. We have reached the point where things may not be all sugary fluff and fun, but it’s not entirely clear yet, so we keep dancing, refusing to look over our shoulders at whatever menace may be lurking. 

If you want something more profound, may you find it in the words below of those far more talented than me. 

“To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking.” ~ Agnes De Mille

“A dancer, more than any other human being, dies two deaths: the first, the physical when the powerfully trained body will no longer respond as you would wish. After all, I choreographed for myself. I never choreographed what I could not do. I changed steps in Medea and other ballets to accommodate the change. But I knew. And it haunted me. I only wanted to dance.” ~Martha Graham

“The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking oneself seriously. The first is imperative and the second disastrous.” ~ Dame Margot Fonteyn

“Fine dancing, I believe like virtue, must be its own reward. Those who are standing by are usually thinking of something very different.” ~ Jane Austen

“Dance can reveal everything mysterious that is hidden in music, and it has the additional merit of being human and palpable. Dancing is poetry with arms and legs. It is matter, graceful and terrible, animated and embellished by movement.” ~ Charles Baudelaire

“Think of the magic of the foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It’s a miracle, and the dance…..is a celebration of that miracle.” ~ Martha Graham

“If I could tell you what it meant, there would be no point in dancing it.” ~ Isadora Duncan

“So many dancers feel that what they look like is more important than who they are. This is a real danger for dancers who focus for years on appearances and think of themselves as merely a body. The choreographer can’t work with them in the realm of ideas. It’s a huge problem if they haven’t been connecting internally. If they’ve decided that what’s inside is of little value, they can only try to approximate some kind of look. ” ~ Alonzo King

“Dance is for everybody. I believe that the dance came from the people and that it should always be delivered back to the people.” ~ Alvin Ailey

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs – Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.

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16
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Male Nudity, Music
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When You Shake Your Ass, They Notice Fast

Twenty years ago, the only freedom I knew was the outward kind. Freedom to roam, freedom to dress up or down, freedom to speak and shout and scream. All superficial, all vain, all relatively meaningless. At the time, while I felt the literal freedom, I also felt entirely bound and tied up inside. This is the most insidious sort of imprisonment – the self-lockdown that some of us inflict upon ourselves, and so often not intentional or deliberate or even noticed or acknowledged. I certainly didn’t see it or feel it then – I felt only and ultimately entirely free. How was I to know there were prisons that weren’t made of concrete and steel bars?

Heaven knows I was just a young boyDidn’t know what I wanted to be I was every little hungry schoolgirl’s pride and joy and I guess it was enough for me 
To win the race, a prettier faceBrand new clothes and a big fat place on your rock and roll TVBut today the way I play the game is not the same, no wayThink I’m gonna get me some happy
I think there’s something you should know (I think it’s time I told you so)There’s something deep inside of me (There’s someone else I’ve got to be)Take back your picture in a frame (Take back your singing in the rain)I just hope you understandSometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do nowIs take these lies and make them true somehowAll we have to seeIs that I don’t belong to you and you don’t belong to me, yeah yeah
Freedom (I won’t let you down)Freedom (I will not give you up)Freedom (Gotta have some faith in the sound)You’ve got to give what you take (It’s the one good thing that I’ve got)Freedom (I won’t let you down)Freedom (So please don’t give me up)Freedom (‘Cause I would really)You’ve got to give what you take (really love to stick around)

Even without chains or shackles, even without armor or clothing, it’s possible for one to be weighed down and tied up with the inner constraints of our own minds. You can throw away all the bags and coats, kick off all the shoes and jewelry, and strip out of everything, even the cologne, but the ties of a fettered mind won’t be undone until you’re ready to truly examine yourself and acknowledge who you are. Twenty years ago I wasn’t nearly ready for that, so I hid myself with a naked vanity that proved too good a mask for my own benefit. Not only that, but such vanity would prove a different kind of prison of its own; I was shackling myself with an image I wouldn’t ever be able to entirely shake. 

Well, it looks like the road to heaven but it feels like the road to hellWhen I knew which side my bread was buttered I took the knife as wellPosing for another picture everybody’s got to sellBut when you shake your ass, they notice fastAnd some mistakes were build to last
That’s what you get, I say that’s what you getThat’s what you get for changing your mindThat’s what you get, and after all this timeI just hope you understandSometimes the clothes do not make the man

These days I can look back and wanly smile at the shenanigans of my youth, the things I felt I needed to prove, the stories I needed to write and live out, the mark and legacy I wanted to leave behind. It all feels so foolish and still so precious. And I have much of it documented here – in what I’m posting now, in what I’ve posted before, and in all I have yet to post – ripe for examination, consideration, and exoneration. There is a fatigue to the well-documented life – but it’s the best kind of fatigue. 

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs – Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One and Part Two.

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15
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Gratuitous Nudity
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Vanity Under There

It is striking how lonely vanity can become. 

Someone once wrote that some people have what is called ‘contagious vanity‘ – that is, they believed so strongly and fervently in themselves that while you might actively dislike them, you cannot take your eyes off of them. Their fascination with themselves lent them a fascination to others. It was possible, then, to become a person of interest once you became interested in yourself. What a strange and bizarre concept, I thought, even as I began to challenge myself into making it happen. To rise above the chattering criticism of the world and the mirror, into an echelon so high that even if it all fell down, you’d still be on top. 

Vanity thy name is… 

Satin sheets are very romantic…

What happens when you’re not in bed? ~ Madonna 

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs – Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One.

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15
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Underwear
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Vanity Under Where

Looking back twenty years ago has been a trip – especially when looking at how young I was, how vain, how foolish, how ridiculous, how lovely and how wistfully tinged with innocence. On the cusp of thirty that year, I felt as old as I had ever felt – how quaint that seems now that I teeter on fifty. 

The musical accompaniment of this, a cover of Madonna’s ‘Dress You Up‘ given an immaculate glow-up by the brilliant Darren Hayes, pays tribute to those moments I felt beyond the reach of mere mortals. May you have felt such a brush with greatness in your mind as well. 

…Where Vanity lies with Divinity…

You’ve got style, that’s what all the girls say
Satin sheets and luxuries so fine…

All your suits are custom-made in London
But I’ve got something that you’ll really like…

I’m gonna dress you up in my love…

Feel the silky touch of my caresses,
They will keep you looking so brand new…

Let me cover with you with velvet kisses,
I’ll create a look that’s made for you. 

This is the tale of how a vain little boy grew into a vain young man.

Vanity was his weapon of choice against encroaching insecurity.

Boisterous, attention-getting, contagious vanity.

Cruel, vicious, wicked vanity.

He wasn’t much to look at, but through sheer force of will

he forged himself into someone desirable. 

Through hell-bent tenacious rage he willed himself handsome,

and one day it suddenly came to be true.

… no matter how much he was loved…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs – Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.

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08
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale, Music
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Bad Dream On

This entry for ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale‘ was written as a recent night crossed into the midnight hour, and should probably be read at a similar time. Some writing is too moody, some music too weighty, to be read or heard in the hours of the day. Daylight is powerful stuff, even when it’s overcast. The cloak of night helps us reveal things that would never be whispered if there was the threat of the sun lurking. Let us share our songs in the darkness.

Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin’ clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay

For the 10th anniversary of MTV, the music that once played, well, music, celebrated itself with a few powerhouse performances (and one glorious therapy session in noirish brilliance by Lady M herself). Strangely, for those who thought they knew me, my favorite musical portion was when Aerosmith took to the stage after a piano floated through the air and they launched into their classic ‘Dream On’. 

I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it’s everybody’s sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life’s in books’ written pages
Lived and learned from fools and from sages
You know it’s true
All the things come back to you

I watched the performance in our basement rec room – lights off, the space lit only by the glow of the television – and with a full orchestra backing the band, the maelstrom of music and spectacle took me out of my miserable life for five minutes. Transported on the crests of musical majesty, I soared through the night, leaving behind the wretchedness of that basement, where I once hid as a child, where I carved out the only safe space I ever knew, and only because it was the space within myself.

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it’s just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

This is it – this is the part. Listen as it builds, listen as it becomes salvation, listen as it becomes redemption. Then sing. Sing for your soul, sing for your survival, sing your way out of whatever your life has become. Sing with me… 

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
Sing with me, it’s just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away
Dream on, dream on, dream on
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream on, dream on
Dream on, dream on
Dream on, dream on
Dream on

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs – Part One and Part Two.

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08
March
2025
Tags: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy's Tale
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Bad Boy Rock Poseur

What is life but a series of poses?

What is a pose but a snapshot of a moment?

What is a moment in the grand scheme of life?

The whooshing rush of a smoke machine – …I see you through the smoky air… – the sparkling light shards of a mirror ball – …I’ll show you every version of yourself… – and the curtain of glittering mylar shimmering in the nightmarish nightclub of dream and fantasy – …so get up on the dance floor! 

“It’s hard to sing and cry.” – Madonna

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs – Part One 

Continue reading ...