A quick look at two of my fragrance shelves (just the two – there is a third, which is actually the top tier) reminds me of the excess and gluttony of my one true addiction – and it’s ok because we all deserve at least one indulgence in life. (Some of us deserve many.) While I’ve been eyeing the latest Tom Ford Private Blend ‘Black Lacquer’, I’m a little more intrigued by his limited edition offering of ‘Amber Intrigue’ – which is, I believe, only available at Harrod’s in London right now. They always get the best things. Until I can get my paws on a sample, this perusal through the collection will have to do – and it makes me happy to rekindle all the memories that each of these scents provides.
The main purpose of any fragrance is, for me, in making a memory.
Fall and all its requisite splendors are in effect as these gourds spill out from baskets at the local nursery. I’ve always appreciated a good ornamental gourd or ninety, and here they all are in abundance and beauty. When the flowers have faded, it becomes about the gourds.
They set a cozy scene, and hint at holiday dinners to come.
One of my favorite pieces of music is the Bacchanal from the opera ‘Samson and Delilah’. I’m not sure why it became a favorite, because it brings back bad memories of all the stress and worry and competitive ickiness of my time in the Empire State Youth Orchestra. That it contains one of the more celebrated oboe solos is one reason for how stressful those passages once felt, and I remember the first time we read through it – I think I had the solo and totally massacred it.
The orchestra raced ahead before I even knew where we were in the score, and I was left behind, eventually taking the second seat after tryouts. In truth, I probably had no business even being in the actual Empire State Youth Orchestra – and as much as I learned there, as much as the experience hardened and honed me, I wonder if it was worth the social anxiety and stress at that time in my life. It still haunts me, and I question whether that was the best thing to do to myself as a kid (not that I was given a choice in those early days) – and did it really prove the tipping point at getting me into all of the colleges to which I applied? I doubt I’ll ever know – and there’s no point in dwelling here. Instead, let’s revel in the music at hand, and allow it to fuel this fall’s reckoning…
If you stick it out and wait until about the 7:00 mark, you’ll hear when things really begin to soar – and it is here where I take all the trauma of the past and turn it into something else – anger, rage, triumph, revenge – and a power I’m still discovering buried within. Spreading the wings of a silky caftan, with a rope of pearls to harness the universe’s available energy, it feels like a moment ripe for flight.
The music is a seduction and a celebration in one, entrancing with its sensuous oboe solo, and then setting the scene for the destruction of a temple. Sexual symbolism and blatant hedonism brilliantly collide in a meeting of the minds and bodies of opposing forces. Prepare the way for aural ecstasy and orgasmic, orgiastic might.
Who knew that opera could be so gorgeously filthy? It’s a perfect treat for the fall season.
Director, writer, producer, editor, actress and founder of Jingletown Films, Cheryl Dunye earns this Dazzler of the Day crowning thanks to all of those monumental multi-hyphenate accomplishments, including her films ‘The Watermelon Woman’, ‘Stranger Inside’, and ‘Black is Blue’. She’s directed an extensive amount of television work, including episodes for ‘Lovecraft Country’, ‘Bridgerton’, ‘Delilah’, ‘The Equalizer’ and ‘Dead Boy Detectives’.
I first came out publicly in July 1997, when I wrote a letter to the editor of my hometown newspaper (I guess I didn’t want to repeat the same conversation with everyone in my hometown). I have to say ‘first’ because coming out is a process a gay person will be doing for the rest of their lives – a burden and a blessing that straight people may never understand. Gay is not the assumed default that straight is, and while coming out may simply be a casual offhand reference to my husband, it’s still very much a thing. Here’s a look back at various National Coming Out posts – some are more profound than others, so peruse at your own risk of banality:
We love a double dazzler, and with this crowning Joe Locke earns his second Dazzler of the Day honor. Thanks to the new season of ‘Heartstopper’ and his turn in ‘Agatha All Along’, Locke is on a bit of a roll. Couple that with a fun sense of fashion for the red carpet, and you have someone doubly worthy of this honor. (See his first turn as Dazzler of the Day here.)
This little coreopsis, bless its heart, has made its annual surprise appearance – though after three or four years it shouldn’t be such a surprise. I think I’m still amazed that it perseveres after no real coddling or care – and sometimes outright abuse (the groundhog or rabbits usually sheer it down to the ground at least once a season).
This year I managed to capture two blooms as they were just opening up. It’s always such a joy to see something come into bloom at this time of the year, even if our pool days for the season are officially over. I will mark it this fall so I know where to watch for it come spring.
And then, if I remember to be so kind, I will pamper it with some manure and mulch, keeping it well-watered, in the hope of bringing it back to more robust form. Such faithfulness and continued commitment, even in the face of neglect, deserves a reward.
It’s been a while since we’ve featured a Dazzler of the Day here (and your requests/recommendations are always welcome) and we are back with a great one. This is Joe Keery, actor and musician who came on the scene in a big way with ‘Stranger Things’ and has continued to mark a name for himself, such as his charming turn in ‘Free Guy’ (it’s almost impossible to steal a movie from Ryan Reynolds, but Keery managed to do it). We eagerly await what he’s doing next…
“I wore black because I liked it. I still do and wearing it still means something to me. It’s still my symbol of rebellion – against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of God, against people whose minds are closed to others’ ideas.” – Johnny Cash
Most of my fashion choices up until this fall have been bold and colorful. The older I get, the more muted my fashion palette has become – and these days I’m employing a mostly-black wardrobe. It’s classic, it’s powerful, it’s simple, and it’s magical. It also puts what you do on full display, rather than what you wear. It says something serious at a time when the majority of the world has become a sick joke.
“Black is modest and arrogant at the same time. Black is lazy and easy – but mysterious. But above all, black says this: I don’t bother you – don’t bother me.” – Yohji Yamamoto
Ever since Dad died, this song has taken on a deeper meaning – and it was pretty deep before then, so this one goes far down. For our fade-to-black fall, it gets resurrected and brought back with even greater resonance. Life does that – it sharpens some things, dulls others, and reconfigures the world in a way that makes you realize it was all perception and perspective – and hopefully in that realization there comes a certain peace.
When I was a young boy My father took me into the city To see a marching band He said, “Son, when you grow up Would you be the savior of the broken The beaten and the damned?” He said, “Will you defeat them? Your demons, and all the non-believers The plans that they have made?” “Because one day, I’ll leave you a phantom To lead you in the summer To join the black parade”
A world that sends you reelin’ From decimated dreams Your misery and hate will kill us all So paint it black and take it back Let’s shout it loud and clear Defiant to the end, we hear the call
Ever since I was a boy, I’ve felt old. Not physically, just in my head. I had no patience for childish nonsense, and all the silly things the other kids were doing. I felt weary, like I’d done it all before, and I was already tired. I felt jaded, not better than anyone – never better than anyone – just like there was nothing new under the sun. I felt entirely too serious for my own good, and my earnestness was never taken at face value, jumbling things up in my head even more. I felt stressed and worried – about everything. And what should have been one of the only truly carefree times in a person’s life was never meant to be, at least for me.
Do or die, you’ll never make me Because the world will never take my heart Go and try, you’ll never break me We want it all, we wanna play this part
I won’t explain or say I’m sorry I’m unashamed, I’m gonna show my scars Give a cheer for all the broken Listen here, because it’s who we are
Just a man, I’m not a hero Just a boy, who had to sing this song Just a man, I’m not a hero I don’t care
We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on And though you’re dead and gone, believe me Your memory will carry on
I cannot regret that, any more than anyone can regret things over which they had no control or say. Who knows why I felt that way, and what does it even matter at this point? That was a long time ago, and I’ve never been one to hold onto the past, even as I recognize the need for a reckoning about certain things that have occurred. For now, I think of my Dad when I hear this song, wondering how he would react to everything our world has become. I have my own idea of what his take would be on various situations, and it keeps me going.
The Japanese coral bark maple provides a year-long focal point of interest, as seen in this moment’s brilliant golden foliage. Its spring show focuses mainly on chartreuse leaves, summer deepens into a darker green, and winter reveals the red bark befitting its namesake. I think I like the spring show the best, but fall is a very close second.
The leaves take on a tenderness now that is also part of their appeal – very soon they will drop, plucked by wind or rain or the simple end of this part of their journey. They will flutter down and join the earth again, rotting and decaying and transforming into nourishment and aid for another season of leaves. Tenderness and comfort and reassurance – the very building blocks of fall, and just enough to get us through the winter.
