A House of Armour With A Friend

So I said, “Listen, I got…” And I said, uh, uh, somethin’ about, uhGoin’ to somebody’s funeral or something, she, I said, “Man, ” I saidI said, “Bring my flowers now, while I’m living”
Bring my flowers now, while I’m livin’I won’t need your love when I’m goneDon’t spend time, tears, or money on my old breathless bodyIf your heart is in them flowers, bring ’em on…

When JoAnn proposed a visit to the Armour-Stiner Octagon House, it was late spring and the promise of summer laid before us in all its splendor and hope. Of course, summers don’t always go as planned, and this one prevented us from making our planned trip, as well as canceling our annual summer visit. We made up for it last weekend, transforming it into a lovely fall weekend visit, with a drive through the foliage that would have only been green had we done it when originally planned. A small bit of recompense for our disappointing summer. 

All the miles cast a long shadowI’d take a couple back if I couldI’d’ve learned to play guitarTold my daddy more I loved himBut I believe, for the most part, I done good

The Armour-Stiner Octagon House, erected in the latter half of the 1800’s, is a marvel of artistry and wonder, and one of only about 1000 houses that were built in such a shape in that period. On this day we went back in time, a feat of magical movement that proved a balm for the soul, as did spending time with a friend I’ve had for a quarter of a century

The house welcomed use with a double set of round stairs leading easily and comfortably up to the grand surrounding porch. I could have lived right there and been content, so marvelous were the surroundings and the view. Our day was sumptuously sunny too, and already in the 70’s by mid-morning. 

There’s always sunrise and rainbows and babiesAnd the little things I cherish on my wayEven though one dayThey’ll bury me and Jessie MaeI just know we’re gonna ride again someday

Bring my flowers now, while I’m livin’I won’t need your love when I’m goneDon’t spend time, tears, or money on my old breathless bodyWell, if your heart is in them flowers, bring ’em on

Inside was just as enchanting, and our guide told us tales of the previous owners, the renovation, and the present day functions of the eccentrically-shaped home. There was even a story of the ghostly Lady in White who was reported to occasionally haunt the space. Personally, I loved one of the triangular ‘solarium’ rooms, which was bathed in sunlight and provided a home for their outdoor palms and plants when the frosts arrived.

Glimpsing into the home of a family is always an intimate thing. It thrills us for various reasons – the notion of being let in behind the curtain, the understanding of someone’s home environment, the hints of their personality revealed in their living situation. In a house as grand as this, one seeks out little secrets of life, searching for parallels with their own. 

The days are long but the years are lightningThey’re bright and they will never strike againI wish I’d been a better friend, a better daughter to my motherThere’s no goin’ back when your back’s against the wind

At this time of the year, they were capitalizing on the holidays, with a dining room decked out in the splendor you see here, along with some spooky touches for a haunted tour to take place later that day. The universal celebrations that we all experience in some way remind me that this circle of life is just that – a never-ending circle, repeating as it traces back upon itself. There was comfort in the thought, and comfort in the lovely surroundings.

 

Our beautiful exploration there felt like a visit to another time, and sharing it with a friend like JoAnn, who had been through so much in her life, was an exercise of healing, one that I didn’t fully understand how much I needed. 

Generations of various families had walked and played around this majestic home, and through it all the house stood at various conditions, somehow surviving and living to whisper its tales and history through faded photos and passed-on stories. Its beauty carried on. 

We listened to music on the long drive home – one of JoAnn’s greatest gifts to me has been sharing her musical tastes of the moment, and this song spoke of the moment. It was a very good moment. 

Bring my flowers now, while I’m livin’I won’t need your love when I’m goneDon’t spend time, tears, or money on my old breathless bodyIf your heart is in them flowers, bring ’em onIf your heart is in them flowers, bring ’em on

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Dazzler of the Day: John Legend

The Man, The Myth, The Legend – those words perfectly embody our Dazzler of the Day, John Legend. With a career that has successfully straddled the worlds of music, performance, acting, producing and entertaining, he is indeed the stuff of legend. Check out his website here to see where he’ll be performing next. 

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A Reunion & An Anniversary

This fall marks the 25th anniversary of my friendship with Kira, and this weekend marks our reunion in Boston after over a year of not seeing each other. In many ways, this marks a new beginning – we’ve both been through a difficult year, and I have a feeling the weekend will be one of healing and catching up. 

Twenty-five years ago we were both working at John Hancock, sharing lunch in the basement cafeteria of the tallest building in Boston, and finding our way into our early-to-mid-twenties. The picture here is from a couple years after that, when I returned to Boston in 2000, before each of us would move away to be with the men who would become our husbands. We were still so young, still so unsure of where we were headed, where we were meant to be. Something told us we were better off going through such uncertainty together.

Our little journey of friendship continues this weekend, as we navigate the holidays while missing a few loved ones. 

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IYKYK, Starring Andy

This picture cracks me up for reasons known only to a select few – a private, inside joke among family that need not be explained or expounded upon here. A little mystery is good. 

{See more of Andy here.}

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A Holiday Preview & Appetizer Recipe

Back in the days of hosting extravagant parties and wild soirees, I would channel Rosalind Russell in ‘Auntie Mame’ to strike just the right note of eccentric hostess pizzazz to help me get through the damn evening. Now that we no longer have big parties, I get to enjoy smaller and more intimate dinners and gatherings, but I still use Auntie Mame as a starting point of inspiration. 

We are about three weeks away from Thanksgiving (yeah, that left a sting thinking about it) and the start of the holiday season, so now is a good time to put a dent in my planning and preparations for whatever the fuck Christmas will be like this year. To that end, an appetizer is a great item to bring to whatever event you may be attending with friends and/or family. Below is a recipe for some appetizer meatballs that might be the easiest cheat recipe that still tastes good. First, a look at the super-secret ingredients that can be found in most decent markets (and every indecent market).

This dish once stood on a corner table, largely neglected by the crowd at our friend Bob’s Night-Before-Thanksgiving party that he used to hold in his place overlooking Washington Park. It was one of my favorite parties of the year, because it signaled the kick-off to the holiday season, and was hosted by one of the kindest and sweetest guys I know. On this particular evening, a crock pot of appetizer-sized meatballs bubbled away quietly, while the rest of the gay men ignored it, beelining for the bar. One gentleman stood nearby as I took one, and then two, and then multiple meatballs, marveling at their flavor. 

It was Bob’s Uncle, the man who had made them, and he whispered the recipe in my ear: one part grape jelly, one part chili, and one big package of bite-size frozen meatballs. My mind was blown, that such deliciousness could come form such an unlikely combination. It was one of those recipes that someone clipped from Good Housekeeping or Ladies Home Journal in the 50s or 60’s, then passed down through the generations because it tasted so good, but kept secret because its make-up was so basic. Over the years, I added some additional flavoring to bump things up, but the core remains the same, and the meatballs remain store-bought and frozen, because the flavor is enough to mask any shortcomings there. Try it out and see. 

RECIPE: The Holiday Meatballs of Bob’s Uncle

  • 1 large package frozen cocktail meatballs
  • 1 large container grape jelly
  • 1 large can chili (without beans)
  • 1/2 cup soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup rice wine vinegar
  • 1/4 cup white or brown sugar
  • 1 Tbsp chopped garlic

Combine ingredients in crock pot and cook on low for six to ten hours, stirring occasionally.

That’s it. That’s all. Auntie Mame would be proud, even if it’s not fishberry jam.

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Whenever I need the inspiration and impetus to get off my ass and clean some shit up, I binge-watch ‘Hoarders: Buried Alive’. Works every time. 

#TinyThreads

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Dazzler of the Day: Patrick Dempsey

It took him several decades, but Patrick Dempsey finally earned his title as Sexiest Man Alive for the latest edition of People Magazine, and in so doing he also garners his first Dazzler of the Day crowning. I am old enough to remember Dempsey’s sexy-star-making turn in ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ way back in the late 80’s, and since then he’s carved out a remarkably consistent acting career. Turns out he’s also an avid racing driver – all this time I just assumed he was training for some ‘Days of Thunder’ type role. 

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My First Celebrity Crush

It was the dawn of the 1980’s, and I was but a wee lad, so I’m not sure how I had such a knowing crush on such a penal code kind of guy. While audiences were going wild for Erik Estrada in ‘CHiPs’, my sights were set on his partner, Larry Wilcox. As Ponch and Jon, they made for a team with great friendship and chemistry. I thought I just wanted a partner like that; I also felt a tingling that drew me to the blond-haired, blue-eyed police officer. 

Posting a picture of Mr. Wilcox on my social media, I inquired as to who others had as their first celebrity crushes. The results were largely predictable and classic, with a few twists. A few of the names who stirred the earliest inklings of attraction for others:

  • Davy Jones
  • William Shatner
  • Rob Conrad
  • Lynda Carter
  • Soleil Moon Frye 
  • Erik Estrada
  • Johnny Depp
  • Burt Ward
  • Kiefer Sutherland
  • Tony Dow
  • Henry Winkler
  • Jon-Eric Hexum
  • Alan Alda
  • Adam Rich
  • Bobby Sherman
  • Dan Gauthier
  • Barry Williams
  • Christopher Reeve
  • Scott Baio
  • Jessica Lange
  • Burt Reynolds

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Dazzler of the Day: Spencer Neville

When the Dazzler of the Day rekindles memories of the Hunk of the Day feature we once had here, it’s a very good day indeed. This is Spencer Neville, who earns his first crowning as Dazzler of the Day for his work on ‘Devotion’, ‘Ozark’ and ‘The Sex Lives of College Girls’. Impressive on every front. 

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The Dourest Hour

When the calendar turns to the most dour days of November, when the leaves have just been ripped from the trees, and that first gray barren visage reveals itself, stark and brutal and bare, the only place I’ve found to properly work as an escape is not some far-away tropical land, but the dim living room where I sit down for a daily meditation

Lit by a candle, which in turn illuminates the curling smoke from a Palo Santo stick, the darkness of November, and all of its absent, fallen leaves, pulls back from this little circle of respite. At the dourest hours of the year, when the sudden onslaught of the winter to come is standing just ahead of us – immovable, majestic, daunting, and mad – I breathe slowly in, and even more slowly out, and the breathing that has sustained me through the day now works to calm and still me. It is the magical movement of meditation, when the worries of the mind shift, with practice and patience into a realm of blank peace. Thoughts that once raced now walk slowly by, pausing to genuflect with acknowledgement, then going on their way, until the line of thoughts has dwindled to barely a trickle, and at last, to none at all – simple, sublime, and entirely full emptiness. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Seth Meyers

With this upcoming gig at The Egg, Seth Meyers will be bringing his comedy to a local audience this month. He earns his first Dazzler of the Day feature thanks to a career of entertaining audiences as actor, writer, comedian, producer, host and podcaster. His ‘Late Night With Seth Meyers’ is a late night staple in a landscape that hasn’t always proved easy. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed his day-drinking antics (find the one with the Barefoot Contessa but pee first). 

{Seth Meyers will be performing at The Egg on November 26 at 8 PM. Tickets available here.}

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A Wellness Retreat in Paradise

My friend (and a previous Dazzler of the Day) Chad Putman, is currently offering a wellness retreat program – the Caribbean Winter Wellness Retreat – for three different weekends in San Juan, Puerto Rico this winter. As someone who has visited San Juan previously, it makes for a beautiful getaway, especially during the colder months. When you add a little self-improvement and wellness into it, it has the makings of something magical.  Visit the webpage here for more info, and see additional details below. 

Caribbean Winter Wellness Retreat in beautiful San Juan, Puerto Rico, 2024. Recharge YOUR heart and soul with this unique 24 & 48 hour weekend challenge which includes: Sunrise Ocean-Side Workout – Breathwork – Grounding, Opportunity Starter Kit – Sections 1-4 (self-reflection/hard copy provided), Guided Meditations – Beach Discussions, Local Culture, Art & Urban Experiences & some meals included (brunches & dinners).
Visit https://www.makeyourithappen.com/winterchallenge to learn more about the three retreat weekends being offered January 27 & 28, February 24 & 25, & March 23 & 24th. Hosted by Chad Putman, MSW, Make your it happen, LLC, (518) 225-0957 / chadputman1@gmail.com
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Dazzler of the Day: Michael Chow

Having just finished the magnificently-riveting documentary ‘AKA Mr. Chow’ by Nick Hooker, I am completely entranced by the life-story of Michael Chow, who may add Dazzler of the Day to his impressive roster of accomplishments. Artist, actor, interior designer, influencer of the decades, and restauranteur, Chow has made his name and visage into an internationally-recognized brand and personality. Sometimes an artist is their own living work of art – and those usually make the best artists of all. 

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Novemberish Recap

Not to do November a disservice with this title, as we indeed in November proper, it still has the stench of being one of the more depressing months of the year – some might say the most. Any hope of holding onto one or two more days of lingering summer sun and warmth are largely lost, and this is the month that rips even the late leaves off all the trees, rendering them barren and spindly for the rest of the winter to come. And so it was that I had my first peppermint mocha drink of the Starbucks season. On with the weekly recap

Twenty years ago ‘Wicked’ opened, and a few weeks afterward we had the lucky privilege of seeing the original Broadway cast perform the show. 

A spooky look through a peephole for Halloween.

Different sorts of haunting posts, also for Halloween.

Welcome to the duck parade.

That crazy cactus!

Bella Donna and the magic of the moon.

A mocktail among friends.

Circus of life, augmented by Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.

Honey & tea by Heloise.

A pause of wonder.

A visitor or two.

Cher turns back time. Again. 

Dazzlers of the Day included Idina Menzel, Kristin Chenoweth, Daniel Radcliffe, Bryce Harper, Stewart Taylor, Jung Kook and Missy Elliott.

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Dazzler of the Day: Missy Elliott

As the first female rapper to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Missy Elliott adds another trailblazing first to her long-record of astounding the world with artistry and talent. She’s been doing this for years, and I still remember songs like ‘Get Ur Freak On’ and ‘Work It’ (which played a part in this magical Madonna moment) which formed an integral part of anyone in the world at that time. She continues to influence and drive pop culture, and is finally getting the rightful recognition she deserves. Here she earns her first Dazzler of the Day crowning. 

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