28
January
2014
Tags: Madonna
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Married to the Voice of Madonna

For some reason, when Madonna was announced as performing for part of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ song ‘Same Love’, I wasn’t as excited as everyone thought I would be. It was a bit of a surprise to myself, even, but I figured it would be a few throw-away lines at the end, and not worthy of edge-of-the-seat build-up (like that miraculous Super Bowl show). However, like everything she does, Madonna was full of the unexpected. In this case, it was the chorus of ‘Open Your Heart‘, one of her strongest cuts. Slowed down to seamlessly segue in and out of ‘Same Love’, it came just as Queen Latifah presided over the shockingly-moving wedding ceremony of 33 gay and straight couples.

Madonna inspires a whole lot of feelings in me, but she rarely moves me to tears. (The last time I came close was at the Drowned World Tour, when I was seeing her for the very first time.) On this evening, as a backing choral group picked up and carried a few more bars of ‘Open Your Heart‘, and then Madonna joined Mary Lambert for a couple of tender exchanges of ‘She keeps me warm’ before they ended by not crying on Sunday. All in all, it was incredibly emotional, in the sweetest, most non-jaded way.

As for the outfits, Madonna arrived all in black, with a nicely-tailored tux by Ralph Lauren. I dug the hat, still despise the grillz. For the performance she traded in the black for white, with a couple of trademark dangling garters and a cowboy hat. She looked fine – and she looked closer to her age than she usually does (which is normally fifteen years younger). We should all be fortunate to age nearly as well. I saw a few nasty ageist comments online from people with dogs as their profile pics (or maybe they weren’t dogs after all). Anyway, Madonna still knows how to show the room a good time – for this evening it was poignant as well.

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28
January
2014
Tags: Andy
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What I Wanted in a Man

Many years ago, my younger and more naive self thought he only needed three things in a partner. They were silly, but sacred, so I kept them secret, waiting for the one to come along who instinctively did all three – that person, I maintained, would be The One. A few guys came close, and eventually I’m sure a few more would have been able to deliver (so simple were the requirements), but it seemed for a while that no one would be quite that compatible with me.

What were these three fairy-tale like wishes? What trio of actions or objects would unlock the key to my heart? As I mentioned, they were silly and simple:

1)    I wanted someone to take a shower while I waited for him in bed. I just wanted the feeling of knowing that someone was there, that someone was the next room down, going about his daily life, but still a part of mine. I wanted the comfort of a day-to-day life together. So yes, the first item was easy enough – he just had to step into the shower.

2)    The second was also easily achieved: I wanted someone who was passionate about something. It could be anything – stamp collecting, rare mushrooms, Buddhist art, orchid cultivation, or cars. He needed to have a passion and an excitement for something, because if you have at least one obsession, you have a passion for life. I didn’t need to share in it – you didn’t have to love gardening, or fashion, or Tom Ford cologne, but if you had your own interests, that mattered.

3)    The third thing was a bit trickier, but no more complicated: I wanted someone to bring me the Sunday New York Times newspaper without me asking. That last part was key: I was good at asking for things, and good at bugging people until I got them, but I didn’t want to have to do that. I guess I just wanted someone who knew me well-enough that I didn’t have to ask.

Over the years, those simple needs expanded to include all sorts of demands and nonsense, and I lost sight of what was truly important, what really mattered. It’s not the grand gestures ~ the Louis Vuitton bag, the Tom Ford cologne, the surprise extended birthday trip in Maine ~ it’s the simple, consistent act of getting a Sunday paper, no matter how far and wide you have to search. It’s the simple touch of someone’s arm as they drop you off at work. It’s the shared smile when you see something on TV that reminds you both of the same thing, the same memory.

It turns out in my younger years I may have been a lot wiser than I am today. Those three things I wished for came true, and I never realized how lucky I was until now.

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27
January
2014
Tags: General
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Winter… and Summer

It’s easier to see our backyard menagerie of visitors in the winter snow. Like this little squirrel, munching on a piece of bread that Andy tossed out one winter. How these fluffy creatures survive the cold, I’ll never know, but you rarely see a squirrel shiver.

Outside our bedroom window, a trail of bunny prints circles beneath the Wolf’s eye dogwood tree. I watched one of the culprits hop along the poolside fence, disappearing into the snow and brush, the white blur of a puffy tail like some burst of smoky magic.

Peering out of the den, I see more trails, left by other rabbits and squirrels, and right up against the house a smaller set of prints that we can’t quite figure out. It looks too small to be a squirrel, but too large to be a mouse. One of winter’s mysteries.

I much prefer the summer, with its blazing banners of color, floating from butterfly bush to butterfly bush, carrying the sweet hope of nectar on its unfurling sun-kissed tongue.

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27
January
2014
Tags: General
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Monday Morning Blahs in a Nutshell

After a weekend of laying low and hanging out with Andy, Monday arrives like an unwelcome return bout with strep throat – just when you thought you’d already kicked it. We spent much of the time returning the house back to the state it was in prior to the kitchen being re-done, which meant lots of dusting and moving things, some re-organization and re-configuring, and a  look at the final bill (which came in as expected – and not so far beyond our original estimate as some had suggested). In addition to all of that, I made a chicken curry dish for dinner, and shoveled the driveway for Andy, whose back recently gave out. He was right – it’s not as fun as it looks. (And it never looked fun at all.)

The Madonna Timeline was updated twice – once with a song I love, and again with a song I didn’t. She also performed at the Grammys (though as of this writing it hadn’t happened yet so a recap on that will be forthcoming).

Don’t forget: you’re so invited, and I just can’t hide it.

There were a couple of notably nude male celebrities on display, well, almost – in the naked form of Leonardo DiCaprio (whose ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ was far more entertaining than it had any right to be) and an underwear-clad (and removed?) David Beckham.

Though the weather outside was frightfully frigid, there were Hunks to keep you warm, including shirtless male celebrities like Tom Cullen, Grady Sizemore, Adam Jacobs, Derek Allen Watson, and The Property Brothers.

If all goes according to plan, this week should bring about the long-awaited final completion of our kitchen project – and that will mark a new beginning – something to see us through the rest of this rough winter, until we find our summer again.

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26
January
2014
Tags: General
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A Lazy Recollection

As I sit here pre-programming posts for the weekend and debating about what to do and where to go, I decided to just be lazy and populate this particular post with blasts from the past. Chosen haphazardly from the last two of three years, they’re just a few items that struck my momentary fancy. Read into them what you will, but don’t read into them too much.

Fading…

Reading…

Standing…

Babysitting…

Meeting…

Kissing…

Disrobing…

Holding…

Sailing…

Dreaming…

Failing…

Crushing…

Banning…

Cheesecaking…

Drowning.

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26
January
2014
Tags: Underwear
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Derring Do, Baring Boo(ty)

It’s been a while since I’ve done a shameless underwear post like this, but the people want what they want. (Not that anyone really wants this.) Besides, it’s the weekend, so I can be as gratuitous as I want and no one will be able to find me.

There are a number of guys who have taken far more off than this, and they are in the ‘Naked Male Celebrities’ category of this site.

There are some who have taken off a little less, and they’re in the ‘Shirtless Male Celebrities’ section.

There are some who show off ‘Bulges’ in their briefs and boxers.

There are others who wear their ‘Underwear’ as outerwear.

I’m going to stop now before things go all Dirty Dr. Seuss on your ass. Or mine.

 

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26
January
2014
Tags: Madonna
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Madonna at the Grammys ~ Tonight!

Tonight’s marks Madonna’s return to performing on the Grammys – I think she’s done it three times before. The first was when she was basking in the success of ‘Ray of Light‘, with her slightly-shaky-voiced ‘Nothing Really Matters‘ – in and elaborate Geisha-by-Gaultier get-up. Visually it was my favorite of her performances.

A couple of years later she previewed her ‘Drowned World Tour‘ by dancing on the hood of a stretch limo for ‘Music’. It was a fun, stimulating, if straightforward performance, the kind of old-school entertainment that consisted of singing and some dance moves – it’s what Madonna does best.

Her last live performance on the Grammys was, I believe, in 2006 with ‘Hung Up’. It was the choreography and routine we’d seen a thousand times by that point, but a nifty intro by the Gorillaz, and Madonna’s own holographic entrance (before actually appearing) injected some new life into the song.

I won’t give away who she’s rumored to be appearing with tonight, and I have no idea what she’ll be performing. That’s the best thing about Madonna – she’s still full of surprises.

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25
January
2014
Tags: Albany, Gay
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The Gay Soirée: Fashionable Indulgence

In the barren stretch of this drab winter, everyone needs a beacon of sparkling hope to see us through. For me, that’s going to be The Gay Soirée – and you are cordially invited to join me. In keeping with the glamorous nature of the evening, I’ve been working on an outfit that is designed to be both funky and fabulous, with a racy juxtaposition of masculine and feminine to go with the gender-bending bohemian acceptance of the night. Drag queens and drag kings will bump padded shoulders with the most fashionable style harbingers of Albany (and beyond).

When dressing for a party as spectacular as this upcoming one, it’s important to plan your wardrobe in advance. It gives you time for tailoring, time for accessorizing, and time for taking test photographs. There’s nothing worse than realizing your nipples (or your junk) can be seen in the harsh light of a camera flash. Though for this event, that may not be a bad thing. (Also, if you get your tickets in advance of this event, you can save $20 on each. In other ways, it pays, literally, to plan ahead.)

For an event like The Gay Soirée, over-the-top excess is expected, and the more glamorous and flamboyant, the better. This is not an evening to blend in. This is a chance to show off – and I intend to do just that. In other words, get your tickets now.

{ The Gay Soirée will take place on Saturday, February 8, 2014 at The State House located at 142 State Street. VIP Tickets are available for $75, which includes a VIP reception hour with a wine bar; Regular tickets are available now for $45. If tickets remain, they will be available the night of the event for $65. All proceeds go directly to the Capital Pride Center.}

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25
January
2014
Tags: Andy, General
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A Husband Righted

“You’re right. It looks nice there.”

Those first two words are the hardest words for me to say, but I tell my husband that, because he needs to know. I am looking over a large wooden entertainment console, in a rich cherry wood, originally from Stickley. I thought it was too big to fit into the family room, but after years of him insisting, and finally having a few strong men to help move it, we tried it out. And Andy was right. It does fit. Maybe the scale is not quite perfect, but it fits.

Our kitchen is almost complete. Walls came down, the floor was torn up, and even a window was moved. There were frigid nights when only a piece of plastic kept out the winter air, and dusty mornings of naked beams and unfinished wood. Now, near the end of the renovation, I look around and marvel at how far it has come. How far we have come. Sometimes you have to dismantle everything to make it into something better.

I remember the first night we found this house. We sat in this very kitchen, at a table in the corner, above which an 80’s light fixture hung, illuminating the space with its harsh light. Our saucy real estate agent worked her magic and we pounded out a deal there and then. Andy and I smiled at each other. This would be our first home.

Through the years, we did our best to update the kitchen. I re-finished and painted the cupboards. (And ran them over while they were drying in the garage.) We had our friend Jim install a new row of lighting. We painted and hung shelves and managed for a decade, and now that we finally (thanks mostly to my parents) had some money we put it into a proper renovation.

As it nears completion, we can begin to clean up the mess. With every renovation project, there is always a mess. Layers of dust, the make-shift kitchen space we used while it was being done, the temporary homes of dining room objects now able to return to their former form. I begin by dusting, and moving furniture back into place. I wipe off the books and picture frames and lamp shades. I polish the glass and mirrors. Slowly, I try to put things back together.

It’s never quite the same, but maybe – hopefully – it might be better.

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25
January
2014
Tags: Madonna, Music
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The Madonna Timeline: Song #105 ~ ‘B-day Song’ – Summer 2013

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

This rather uninspiring bonus track from the otherwise-brilliant ‘MDNA‘ album is barely worthy of a Timeline Entry, but not every Madonna song can be great, so let’s get this over with. 

It mostly reminds me, fittingly, of my last birthday, when Andy and I drove out to The Mount – Edith Wharton’s upstate NY home. It was what I wanted to do – a quiet birthday celebration, low-key and under-the-radar, as most of my birthdays have been. In the car, I played this song a few times – a little Madonna gift to myself. 

Na na na na, na na na na na
Na na na na, na na na na na, gonna sing my song tonight
Na na na na, na na na na na
Na na na na, na na na na na, gonna sing my song tonight
Na na na na, na na na na na
Na na na na, na na na na na, gonna sing my song tonight
Song #105: ‘B-day Song’ – Summer 2013
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24
January
2014
Tags: General
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A Pregnant Pause

My favorite bartender Nicole is about to go out on maternity leave. (Another one bites the baby dust…) I will miss her friendly, witty banter, but most of all I will miss her way with the pink peppercorns. I admire any bartender who can come up with a cocktail based on your likes and recommendations of ingredients, so when I told her I wanted something with gin and grapefruit, but nothing too sweet, she concocted a delicious treat that incorporated gin, grapefruit juice, a couple of other ingredients, and – the secret weapon against sweetness – pink peppercorns. It was the perfect drink, something that works in all seasons.

The warm delight in finding a good bartender who remembers both your name and your favored drink seems to be on the wane, which is another reason I’ll miss Nicole. Albany has not been kind in crafting talented cocktail conjurors, so I may wait until she returns to get a proper libation. It will be worth it.

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23
January
2014
Tags: David Beckham, Shirtless Male Celebrities
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Who Wants to see David Beckham Naked?

David Beckham, long a favorite here, has a commercial for his new commercial (as only David Beckham would do). In it, he asks us to vote on whether his new SuperBowl commercial should be ‘#Covered‘ or ‘#Uncovered‘. Like we don’t know which one will win out. But just in case, if you don’t vote, you’re gonna get a spanky. [Cut.]

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23
January
2014
Tags: Naked Male Celebrities, Shirtless Male Celebrities
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A Naked Leonardo DiCaprio, and a Lonely Movie-Goer

The title of this post is a bit of a misnomer, but if we take ‘lonely’ to simply indicate the state of being alone, it fits. This season, I’ve decided to make a concerted effort to see all (or most) of the Oscar-nominated films. (It was much easier when the Academy only nominated four or five – today there are a total of nine nominees, which makes it both time and money consuming, but a noble endeavor nonetheless.)

I began in Boston a few weeks ago, when a day of heavy rain forced most of us inside. I had just made it to the Loews at Boston Common when it started to come down. ‘American Hustle’ was the choice that morning, and though it was still early (just 11 AM) I picked up a large popcorn and a soda and made my way into a largely empty theater. I was alone, but seeing movies on my own has never bothered me. In fact, it was a favorite past-time when I was going to Brandeis, and continues to be to this day.

On weekends, I’d board the train into the city and arrive with no plan or anything to do. When the weather was iffy I’d peruse the Boston Phoenix to see which movies were playing and where. Back then, there were a couple of theaters that no longer exist – the one at Copley Square, in the Copley Mall (where Barneys now resides) and the one across from the Sheraton near Hynes Convention Center (which now houses King’s Bowling Alley and entertainment complex).

Armed with a book and a big container of popcorn, I’d arrive early and stake out a seat slightly off-center, and slightly toward the back. I liked being alone, and I didn’t like when people tried to talk to me. Most times, though, they left a single guy chomping down on popcorn relatively alone.

Looking back, it may have been a form of escape masquerading as something more. A way of avoiding real-life, or maybe I was just trying to avoid my college classmates, most of whom struck me as immature and foolish. (I didn’t think I was better than them, I simply didn’t share their interests. And, I’ll admit, I didn’t make much of an effort to get to know anyone that well. It was better to go into Boston and be alone.)

This past weekend, I saw two more of the nominated movies – ‘Gravity’ and ‘Her’ – on my own. Early matinees, with popcorn as an early lunch. I enjoyed them both, but was bowled over by neither. Next up will be ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ and ‘12 Years A Slave’. So far, I’d give the Oscar edge to ‘American Hustle’, even if the first twenty minutes of that film left much to be desired. For those keeping track, here are the Oscar-nominated films for 2014:

“American Hustle”

“Captain Phillips”

“Dallas Buyers Club”

“Gravity”

“Her”

“Nebraska”

“Philomena”

“12 Years a Slave”

“The Wolf of Wall Street” 

As for ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’, while Leonardo DiCaprio has already been a Hunk of the Day, he was never quite this naked, and he certainly never had anything shoved up his ass like he does here. Who needs gay porn with scenes like this?

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22
January
2014
Tags: Madonna, Music
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The Madonna Timeline: Song #104 ~ ‘Impressive Instant’ – Fall 2000

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Universe is full of stars
Nothing out there looks the same
You’re the one that I’ve been waiting for
I don’t even know your name.
I’m in a trance,
I’m in a trance.

It is The Moment. You see him across the room, your eyes instantly lock, and you feel like you’ve known him all your life – or maybe it’s that you want to know him for the rest of your life. Whatever the case, and whatever tricks the universe is playing, you feel the spark and the catch and the racing of your heart. It isn’t just his beauty you admire, or the way his body moves – it’s in the way he looks at you. His eyes seem to see into your soul, examining all the things you’ve tried to hide, but somehow you feel he won’t judge them, somehow you know even then that he would never use them against you. At least, it feels that way, in the first instant.

Cosmic systems intertwine
Astral bodies drip like wine
All of nature ebbs and flows
Comets shoot across the sky
Can’t explain the reason why
This is how creation goes.

The throbbing bass of this song reminds me of my time in New Orleans many years ago, on the fateful evening when I lost my gay virginity. On the second tier of Oz, I leaned over and looked down upon the bar and dance floor. It was still early, and I was so young. In my lace-up International Male shirt (which a go-go dancer would later tell me he loved, as he squatted down with his crotch in my face), part of me thought I was such hot shit, and the other part of me thought I was just plain shit. Untouchable, because I never let them touch me, not in any real way, not in any way beyond the physical.

I don’t want nobody else.
All the others look the same.
Galaxies are sliding into view,
I don’t even know your name.
I’m in a trance,
And my world is spinning,
Spinning, baby, out of control
I’m in a trance
I let the music take me
Take me where my heart wants to go.
 I’m in a trance…

I turn around and find my way to the bathroom. A few doors are in a row, like some fairy-tale choose-your-own-adventure scene. I don’t want to choose the wrong one. Selecting the one in the middle, I open it without knocking and see two guys fucking.

They are joined at the hips and lips, in a frantic sort of desperate dance to some kind of death. Annoyed, one of them turns around and slams the door shut. In one hedonistic glimpse I saw the moment we’d all be chasing for the rest of our lives, whether we know it or not, whether we admit it or not. The moment of passion. The moment of ignition. The moment of connection.

The impressive instant.

Kiss me…
Kiss me…
Kiss me…
Kiss me…

In the way that gay clubs have of filling up in the span of a few minutes, Oz is suddenly brimming with people. Sitting at the bar in the midst of it all, I watch as the go-go dancer spins and squats before me, his combat boots deftly avoiding glasses and drinks, his smile an invitation and a warning all at once, his body the unattainable visage of distracting perfection that always leaves me befuddled.

“You’re not leaving already?” he asks with a grin, then a pout, when I stand up and back away from the bar. I thank him and wave good-bye. A few blocks down, I will meet a Greek sailor, and in an abandoned warehouse on the Mississippi River I will denounce the last remnants of what little innocence I ever possessed.

Universe is full of stars
Nothing out there looks the same
You’re the one that I’ve been waiting for
I don’t even know your name.
Song #104 ~ ‘Impressive Instant’ – Fall 2000
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21
January
2014
Tags: General
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You’re Frozen When Your Heart’s Not Open

A number of friends have recommended the film ‘Frozen’ – and after watching this clip for the hundredth time and reading this take on the movie, I may have to visit Elsa’s icy world after all. I don’t think I’ve seen an animated film since ‘Up’, so perhaps it’s time.

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