My Kind of Threesome

Tomorrow I will be reunited with Suzie and Chris, forming a favorite triumvirate who has roamed together for almost twenty years. This trip was not planned with much forethought (most of my trips are organized with long-range military precision) but it worked out and fell into our laps because it was simply meant to be. As things shifted into place, I realized how fitting, and necessary, this gathering may be. It will likely be the last time the three of us are together before Chris gets married this fall, and it will be the final time we’re together before Suzie leaves Brooklyn. I’ll bring my own drama to the proceedings in ways I won’t be revealing here, so this comes at a most opportune moment.

Prepare the way, New York.

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A Glimpse of Imelda Marcos via New York City

A sooner-than-expected return to New York comes in the form of this weekend’s quick jaunt to the city, where I’ll be hanging out with Chris and Suzie, and seeing ‘Here Lies Love’ – the Imelda Marcos musical currently playing Off-Broadway at The Public Theater. That’s right, an Imelda Marcos musical. I’ve been keeping my eye on this production for a while now – and it almost made it into last year’s plans with Mom, but it was sold out. When it reopened a short time ago, I decided that I needed to see it, and who better than Suzie and Chris to join me? The old team will be back in business.

The last time I was Off-Broadway was for the original run of ‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’, and prior to that it was to see Greg Louganis in ‘The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me.’ (I’d always intended to drag Suzie to ‘Naked Boys Singing’ but so far she’s escaped that fun fate.)

As for Ms. Marcos, she has, for reasons both obvious and hidden, been an inspiration. First, there is the Filipino connection. I’ve been to the country and the city where she reigned. I’ve seen some of the things she’s seen. I come from a large family whose majority of members still live there. Second, there are those shoes – so many shoes, so little time. I know the love of fancy footwear. Third, there is that image. The albatross from which she can never escape. A combination of misunderstanding, misbehavior, and Ms. Dictator. I know that cage, I’ve felt those shackles, and I’ve battled that pesky bird. Regardless of questionable morality and any poor decisions she may have made (the Marcos regime, of which she was an integral part, admittedly did commit many atrocities), she was just a person, who came from another province of the Philippines, but became something more. Whether she deserved it or not (the good and the bad that would eventually befall her) I cannot believe that there weren’t moments of noble intent, flashes of being a charitable person. We’re all capable of a few glimmers of goodness. After all, dictators and their wives aren’t born, they’re created, often by the very people who end up vilifying them.

I think it was a photograph in Time Magazine or Newsweek, in a cover story on Ms. Marcos, that originally captured my interest. It wasn’t the long rows of shoes or the expansive closets, it wasn’t in her grand chignon or the flowers in said chignon – it was a simple photo of her bathtub: richly appointed and peaceful, elegant but not ostentatious, surrounded by lush plants, and filled with bubbles. It was the look of luxury, the look of success, the look of beauty that then and there became the main goal of my life. It presented a glimpse of the Pretty.

At the time (and I was only in sixth grade) I set about to making my bathroom into something approximating that vision. A strappy dracaena drooped in the corner of the bathtub. I wiped out a spiderweb from another corner, along with its long-dessicated maker. I piled decorative shell-shaped soaps along the sink, inhaling their flowery scent and wondering if this is what Imelda smelled when she swooped into her toilette. I folded fluffy washcloths into neat triangles, arranging them carefully along the towel holder. And when it was done, I looked around and felt supremely disappointed.

It was grandly delusional, it was fabulously frivolous, and it was voraciously vacuous. Even when filled with warm water and bubbles, my bath was empty. It echoed with loneliness and solitude. There was no one to see. It was then that I realized all the pretty shoes in the world could not stamp out the longings of the heart.

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Waiting to Inhale

Perfectly-timed to fill in when the traditional lilac just begins to fade, the Korean Lilac offers an even more potent fragrance to ride on the spring wind. The flowers are, individually, a fraction of the size of the common lilac, but massed in clouds of blooms, as is their habit, their perfume can spread throughout their surroundings. That’s a damn fine trait for a scent this sweet.

They can grow into decent-sized shrubs, and the two in our backyard will need to be cut back as soon as they finish their show. (As a general rule, the best time to prune any flowering shrub is immediately after it finishes flowering. Most of us forget that next year’s blooms are based on the growth that’s happening now. Pruning things later in the season runs the risk of pruning out those buds.)

This plant also has neat and tidy foliage, the kind that seems to defy the mildew that plagues many other lilacs. That’s a boon for the hot and humid summers of the Northeast.

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Annual Explosion

It’s taken several years, but I’ve finally come around to using annuals in pots on our backyard patio. For quite some time, I was a perennial snob, not bothering with planting those flowers that could only last for a single season. I liked how the perennials got going as soon as they could – they didn’t need to wait for frost-free days, they just waited for their nature cycle to begin. There was no guess work or worry – and whatever happened regarding late frosts or snowstorms was something we could not control. It was risky, but the pay-off was substantial. An established swath of coneflowers or Helianthus could get a head start and fill in sooner than a patch of zinnias.

This was, however, mostly in my head. Most annuals, given their short life cycle, grow much quicker than their perennial counterparts. They have no choice but to make up the time, and because of that they can fill in a space sooner than one expects.

Another mental hurdle I had to overcome was the preconceived notion that pots were insubstantial and pointless. It turns out that the larger ones become integral parts of a landscape, such as in the way something like a mass of sweet potato vines can be completely transformative when softening architectural edges. Those sweet potato vines are currently the bedrock of our backyard patio, forming the living lushness that seamlessly transitions the house to the outside gardens.

This year I also planted some begonias that are taking off quite nicely. Their handsomeness is apparent in both flower and foliage. I’ll coddle and feed them to aid in their swift expansion, as I will do for this hanging fuchsia. A little extra effort reaps great rewards.

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Cloaked Like A Lady

Commonly called ‘Lady’s Mantle’ this popular perennial hold drops of water more beautifully than any other. Its common name is derived from the appearance of the leaves, which look somewhat like the mantle of a lady, back when women wore such fun things. Nowadays the closest things we have are the capes and cloaks from Tom Ford and Dolce & Gabbana – not quite something the average person will wear on the street (even if I would.)

As for the plant, the foliage is not its only fine attribute – it produces clouds of chartreuse blooms in the next few weeks, and they last a relatively long time, making for excellent bouquet fillers, or a simple but powerful statement if used en masse. The shade of the blooms is the perfect embodiment of the freshness of the garden at this time of the year. For these photographs, however, I wanted to emphasize the texture of the leaves, and their structural form.

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Jamie Dornan’s Naked Butt, Kinda Sorta

Here’s something to get your Hump Day going. While he’s been much more naked in his Hunk of the Day feature, Jamie Dornan offers a side peek of butt in one of these photos from a new Interview spread. I don’t know if these are part of a new promo push for ’50 Shades of Gray’ since I have not paid the least bit of attention to that, but if they are, I’d suggest less moodiness and far less clothing. (Really, who takes a bath in their underwear?) Sex sells. As does gratuitous male nudity.

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Summer by Tom Ford

If there’s one fault I’ve found in Tom Ford’s Private Blends (and there are, actually, a few – but most of them are a matter of taste) it’s that with the notable exception of the exquisite Neroli Portofino, and possibly Azure Lime, there are none that are truly summer fragrances. His touch is simply too potent, his essence too powerful. The Private Blends are a lot of bang for the buck (and given their hefty price-point, that’s saying quite a bit.) The problem comes in the heat of the season, when heavy scents are the last thing I want on my body. I want light and crisp, effervescent and airy – and that is decidedly not Mr. Ford’s way with fragrance.

That may change with the arrival of two new Private Blends that are whispered to be cousins of Neroli Portofino. As he did with his Oud collection, he will be offering two new blends in the same vein as the Neroli, and the bottles alone look worthy of purchase (in shades ricocheting off the original Neroli bottle, imitating the aqua ocean and mesmerizing like the Mediterranean sea.)

Mandarino di Amalfi sounds like the more promising of the two, featuring tarragon, mandarin orange, mint and lemon. Tom Ford finally delves deeper into the citrus grove, and I like the possibilities at hand. Costa Azzurra is the second blend, said to focus on oak, driftwood, lavender and vanilla. As with most Ford items, what’s on paper is often quite different when sampled in person, so I will be anxiously awaiting the arrival of these two lovelies, one of which may be my new summer scent. Get your olfactory engines running.

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Miscellaneous Men, With & Without Underwear

When in doubt, smut it up. That’s the axiom of this site, and it will be for some time. In this instance, a spattering of former Hunks of the Day (and maybe one not-yet-christened guy) along with several photos of theirs that didn’t make the initial cut. The first cut may be the deepest, but these follow-ups are nothing short of fantastic.

First we have Dan Osborne, up top, who has been here many times. Count with me – one, two, three, four, five… Check the archives for the rest.

Chris Evans can always be counted on for some sexy shirtlessness, though he’s been rather stingy with it of late. Here’s hoping he returns to all his glory in the near future.

Edilson Nascimento has yet to be featured as a Hunk of the Day, but his time will come.

Austin Armacost usually likes to feature his butt, but this time it’s what’s up front that’s drawing all the focus, while Greg Rutherford amps it up for the gingers (even if you can’t tell in black-and-white.)

Another “A-Lister” – Rodiney Santiago – gives a peek of his derriere.

Finally, we have Russell Tovey, an across-the-pond hottie who has been here before.

 

 

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Tacos of the Sea

It took me well over three decades to get my head around the idea of fish tacos. Once I did, however, there was no looking back, and if they’re on the menu, I have a hard time saying no. And when they’re on the menu of a restaurant like MC Perkins, right on the coast of Maine, they’re going to be very good indeed. Though I’ve already completed the OGT posts for our most recent trip, this particular beauty is worth another look.

The colors, the freshness of the ingredients, the collision of taste and texture – they all come together in one amazing pocket of ground-flour goodness. I don’t know why I was so resistant –being land-locked might have something to do with it. Had I been fortunate enough to live on the shore, fish tacos would have been part of my formative lexicon.

I finished the three seen here in a few ravenous bites, and while we’re on the subject of food, here are a couple of shots of Andy and me at our last dinner in Ogunquit.

Yes, I miss the seafood already.

I miss Ogunquit too, and all that it means to us.

Luckily, there’s only a summer until our next visit, and no one is rushing it.

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A Monday and a May Recap

Somehow the lusty month of May slipped through our fingers, proving rather disappointing weather-wise (hello holy hail and upstate tornado) but somehow catching up as only Mother Nature can do. Cooler temps meant that spring had a slow start, which I don’t mind as long as we get it back in the fall. There’s never a guarantee on that. Rather than restrict this post to one week, we’ll encapsulate the last month, since I’m not quite ready give up the magnificence that was May.

May is for Mothers, and Mother’s Day, so I took mine to Broadway. Our annual theater trip was back and better than ever (with a surprise or two, and a walk in Central Park) thanks to productions of ‘Mothers & Sons,’ ‘The Bridges of Madison County,’ and ‘Hedwig & the Angry Inch.’

The lilacs returned, in all their fragrant glory.

Mother darling.

Dance. Just dance.

The baker in his prime.

The peonies were late!

There were sad days as well, as we lost a dear friend.

OMFG.

Love is a hotel room. (Even with a broccoli rampage.)

Preparation for The Party of the Season began – did you get your tickets yet?

The Men of the Met Gala. White bow ties indeed.

Smells like Tom Ford. And Hermes.

Though temperatures here in upstate NY stayed relatively on the low side, that didn’t stop several male celebrities from getting shirtless (or one sexy female from taking off her clothes as well.)

The gardens were late, in this case quite literally.

Madonna was stirring, as was her nipple. It’s that time of the year.

Tom Daley got a wet rub-down in his skimpy underwear.

The sexiest battle of the century: Ben Cohen vs. David Beckham.

Our ‘Profile of a Straight Ally‘ series returned, with one of the gentlemen who inspired it: Hudson Taylor.

Finally, May has always been about Ogunquit. This year proved no different, with a relaxing trip that found new Ports(mouth) of call, old and dear friends, and lots of pretty flowers. A new notebook and an old path neatly bookended the adventure.

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Social Media Shamelessness

Some people keep their guard up when dabbling in social media. For me, it’s the opposite. Social media provides one big playground for my kind of exhibitionist fun. While this website can hold up to the grandstanding and soapboxing that I sometimes enact, I find most of my serious stuff too, well, serious for places like FaceBook or Twitter or Instagram. Those are the haunts where I can let my hair down (though not my pants – in a twist of tragic irony, my nudity can only be seen here.) But for the most part, my real self shines through on social media because it’s a quick, honest glimpse of what we’re like every day.

Instagram is probably the silliest – with vainglorious selfies and flowers and cocktails forming the bulk of entries. (See accompanying photos.) Yet it also allows me to be my most candid and unstaged.

Twitter is light on content, short of characters (140 or less), but succinct in expression.

FaceBook allows the fullest view of one’s life, outside of a personal website of course, and if I get deep on social media, that’s usually where it will happen.

Whenever I’m away (as I’ll be this weekend) this website usually goes on autopilot, with pre-programmed posts (such as this one) and carefully-choreographed entries designed to maintain momentum, and hopefully keep viewers coming back for more. Yet it’s not an accurate depiction of what’s happening at any given moment. For that, you will need to friend me on FaceBook, or follow me on Twitter or Instagram.

Let’s face it, we all like to watch.

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I Feel Like an Ass for Crying Over This…

But I couldn’t help it. I just bawled.

{From Animal Place/First Spark Media.}

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The Moon in June

While May will always hold a special place in my heart, it’s June where the real celebration of summer begins in earnest. I still recall the thrill when my last final was completed, and I walked into the backyard, into freedom, and threw my pencils in the air like Mary Tyler Moore’s hat. (And they say we are forgetting our gay history…!) Here’s to June, with a look back at that glorious month:

First and foremost, June is about Pride. Pride in your marriage. And pride in the parade. Every parade.

It’s a time for family fun. Or family mayhem. When the sun is high in the sky, and the promise of the season extends beyond the day, it’s hard not to feel like a kid again.

The fragrances are lighter and sweeter, if slightly more fleeting, echoing the peonies and mockorange shrubs, such as in this evanescent neroli.

Summer is the time to dance and sing, get up and do your thing.

It’s the time to don a Speedo. Especially if you’re Tom Daley. Or one of these guys.

It’s the time to stay up until the break of dawn, listening to a song like this, marveling at the world, at the morning, at the first light, or the last.

It’s the time to be ruthless, to be delicate, to be resilient, to be ravenous, to be hopeful, and to be remembered.

June ~ the summer sun, the vacations, and the eyes of the wolf.

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The Marginal Way, Beginning in Gray

It started off overcast and gray, spitting a bit of rain, and blowing a rather cruel wind through my flimsy spring shirt. The season was late in coming to Ogunquit too, but rain or shine it was impossible not to let the town work its magic. Sometimes it worked faster than others, such as the morning we walked the Marginal Way.

On days of gray, there is a different kind of beauty at work, one in which texture and shadow become key, where the subtle palette of moss and lichens reveals its myriad complexities. The gradations, while softer, are just as richly varied if one takes the time to adjust and fine-tune our perception.

It’s a matter of perspective, of shifting the way you expect things to be. This is not an altogether unwelcome task, as it encourages a new way of appreciating the world.

So much joy is based upon that, and we should always be open to the opportunity for more joy.

While crested waves cap an undulating body of somber aquamarine, under-saturated in color but infinitely interesting in form and shape, the eye roams over what would often be lost or thrown away as a less-than-perfect day. When visiting, however, there can be no such things as a wasted day, and so we walked on, the promise of an early lunch in Perkins Cove leading us forward and around the final bend.

For some reason, we never spend much time in Perkins Cove. We pause there at the end of the Marginal Way, we cross through to get to the Ogunquit Museum, or we have an early lunch in lieu of a late breakfast – but in and of itself the Cove has never been a designated destination.

Sometimes, as on this day, we take it in and inhabit the moment, as I devour a plate of oysters and a trio of fish tacos at MC Perkins.

As we ingested our meal, the entire day transformed itself. The clouds had blown far off-shore, the sun had come out, and the skies were revealed in their truest, bluest form.

The ocean lit up as if from within – every imaginable shade of blue and green and absolutely everything in-between. Against the shore, the lime green freshness of the first flush of spring foliage – tender and shiny and new – was the brightest it would be all year.

It was a fleeting moment, a special time. Most of us don’t realize that as it’s happening. We don’t think of the fact that this is the only time of the year that it will be like this. In a way, every day and every moment could be seen as such. It wasn’t something I thought about much, and outside of occasionally contemplative moments like this, I still don’t. Not enough as I should, anyway.

The way back along the Marginal Way always seems shorter and quicker to traverse. In the sun, it also seems more vibrant and alive. The difference is profound, and the time for subtle quietude is broken by the pounding surf of the incoming tide.

Only a few tiny flowers, sheltered in a shaded nook and protected from the wind, convey the soft way the morning began. These flowers are so little they go unnoticed by most passers-by, and I have kept their location secret so that they remain so.

Amid the shouts of excited children and reprimanding adults, in the sharp gusts of wind and the sparkling flickers of sun on the sea, only pockets of peace exist now. We walk through it all, slowing at the end, which is really the beginning, where it is warm and spring-like at last.

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