When The Fountain Runs Dry

These subtle, delicate blooms are the final curtain call of our last specimen of Fargesia nitida – the fountain bamboo. We lost its companion clump a couple of years ago, and now it is this one’s turn to go. Like an old couple who die within a short time of one another, it seems our two bamboos have gone on to another world, unwilling to be alone or apart any longer. That’s the rather anthropomorphic take on the more realistic life-cycle of the fountain bamboo.

This is a long-lived plant that blooms once every hundred years, goes to seed, and promptly dies. That means there are groups of Fargesia that are going through a die-down around the world. The plants we happened to purchase ten years ago were nearing the end of that cycle. It’s unfortunate, because what are the odds of the once-a-century timing happening now?

When I originally bemoaned and lamented the fact that we were losing our bamboo clumps (they’d made a rather full and welcome buffer to the corners of the house) a friend commented that rather than regret the loss, I should be thankful that I got to see such a rare event – something that happens only once every hundred years, and it turned my way of thinking around. She was right – so when this second plant started to bloom, I took a deep breath, let it out, and smiled a little. Such was the way of the world.

It’s currently going to seed, and so will make a rather depressing sight as it goes brown and dry for the rest of this season, but I’ll collect what I can, and see if my Dad and I can start the next generation of fountains next year.

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Without Madonna, The Met Gala Goes a Bit Flat

Granted I’m a bit biased, but this year’s Met Gala, minus the star-wattage of Madonna, lacked the usual wow-factor, and while the gents stepped it up with the ‘white tie with decorations’ theme Anna Wintour proclaimed, I still missed what Madonna might have done. As it was, Sarah Jessica Parker could be counted on to dress-to-impress, and she did so in an Oscar de la Renta gown. God, what I would give to get dressed with her. Or just to kiss her hem.

Ms. Parker’s date was Andy Cohen, who adhered admirably to the theme (proof that it’s difficult for even the most amazing mortals to defy Ms. Wintour.) Maintaining the staid formality was Benedict Cumberbatch, who personified “dashing and debonair.”

But the best tux of the evening has to go to Mr. Tom Ford. No one wears it better, and no one ever could.

A couple of couples from across-the-pond, though I really only care about the guys: Eddie Redmayne and David Beckham. Why they didn’t attend with each other I’ll never know.

And from the good, we must delve into the bad. While I am loathe to criticize anything Neil Patrick Harris does, this look was not his finest. His husband David, however, fares even worse. The cut, the color, the pattern, and the shoes… there’s not one thing I like about this except the balls it took to put it on in public.

And speaking of things I don’t like: Sandra Lee in this disaster. Mario must be mad as a hornet – this is NOT First Lady caliber.  Hey Ms. Lee, is the M/C raise that I haven’t had in five years hidden in that ridiculous thing?

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Red or Yellow?

I love red. It’s always been a powerful totem color for me. Usually, I wear it on my underwear for a hidden jolt of self-confidence. In this case, however, I find myself leaning toward the yellow of this amazing bag from Burberry. The actual shade is called ‘Dark Marigold’ and the bag itself has been christened ‘Ormond’ (at a price point of $1225 on sale at BlueFly, it merits the name.) I’ve been looking for a yellow-hello bag for a while…

Failing that sunny shade of leather, I’d settle for this red Prada number. At $2249.50, however (also on sale at BlueFly), I stand as much chance at procuring that as I do these Tom Ford loafers. Still, a guy can dream… and make up birthday wish lists with a lead-time ample enough to allow for savings…

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May I Recap?

The first few days of May proved rather rainy, with spots of sunshine providing just enough light to keep us all from slitting wrists as we anxiously await the definitive turn to spring. With such a late start, the gardens and yard are still messy from winter mayhem, but I did manage to get two new boxwoods planted beside our front entrance, and a couple of clumps of Solomon’s seal divided and moved to expand the range of that lovely perennial. The Lenten Rose and a couple of cherry trees are all that’s in bloom right now, but we’ll just shift a little deeper into the season and hopefully make it up at the end of summer.

Memories of Minneapolis lingered, with a walk to the Walker Arts Center, a view of my suite (and a favorite shirt), a second gallery visit, and a return to where it all began, before saying one more good-bye.

Two big gay dates are coming up: Give Out Day on May 15, 2014 and GLSEN’s ‘A Breakfast at Tiffany’s Formal Affaire’ on June 13, 2014. I’ll be partaking of both, and you should too.

Once in a while, I like to make things easy on Andy, especially when he works this hard.

My Mom and I will be returning to Broadway this week, and the shows and dining reservations are, as they say, all set.

Everyone was saying that James Franco posted a naked selfie on his Instagram account, but you’ll have to look for yourself.

I love a little Chiffon action.

My heart belongs to the poet.

How many times must it be said? Everyone loves a ginger.

Putting the lust in the lusty month of May were Hunks of the Day like Steve Jones, Marlon Teixeira, Thomas Roberts, and the scantily-clad male model Dan Murphy.

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Shirtless Royalty: Prince Harry

Leave it to Prince Harry to provide the only tantalizingly shirtless glimpses of the Royal Family – but really, what other member would you rather see sans clothing? I think Prince William has passed his expiration date, even if he is destined for the throne. Kings are rarely sexy. Princes on the other hand can be very sexy. Especially when they’re totally starkers. (That means naked.)

Once again: everyone loves a ginger.

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The Next Big Thing

Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? …Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it. Nothing very bad could happen to you there. ~ Breakfast At Tiffany’s

The social event of the Pride Season has just been announced: A ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ Formal Evening Affaire will take place on Friday, June 13, 2014 ~ on the eve of Albany’s Pride Festival. Last year’s Great Gatsby Formal Party was a great event, and this year looks to top it. (My shoes alone promise to be worth the price of admission.) This event is one you can enjoy on every level because it’s put on by a great organization ~ the New York Capital Region Chapter of GLSEN ~ the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network ~ which means you can have fun knowing you are helping out with a great cause. All proceeds go to The Pride Center of The Capital Region’s Youth Scholarship Fund, a competitive program founded to assist graduating seniors with the cost of entering college and YouthPride, GLSEN – NYCR’s program for LGBT youth and their allies.

There’s something special in the air during the season of Pride – an electricity, a glamour, a heightened sense of enchantment where charmed events like this one are rife with magical moments. It’s not something you can put into words, and it’s not something that bears explanation the morning-after ~ you simply must be there when it happens. On June 13, 2014 the magic happens at the Washington Park Lake House. Get your tickets now and be part of the ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s Formal Evening Affaire.’

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The Maestro Approaches the Podium

Being that I’m now working in a new office, there’s a whole new set of co-workers for Andy to impress with his culinary handiwork. Here he is at work on one of his masterpieces ~ an almond cake. It’s best not to interrupt him at such moments of concentration, so I tend to leave him to his own devices. The end result always turns out impeccably, so I don’t want to mess with the system. He has his own set-backs from time to time – a batter that doesn’t rise all the way, a cake that doesn’t take kindly to being layered, or a patch of frosting that doesn’t quite adhere to a crumbly surface – but he always manages to turn it out splendidly.

The best part, aside from the instant-love from my new co-workers, is that I get to do more than lick the spoon – I get the cake scraps and extra frosting to assemble my own little cake. Not that I ever do – it’s much quicker to get a fork, dip into the cake, then dip into the frosting and bring it directly to the mouth. No assembly required.

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A Pretty Little Poem

To be so economical with so few words demands more discipline and care than the mass assembling of prose in which I usually cloak my written shortcomings. It’s easy to create a colloidal suspension of description to mask the absence of any real substance, swirling unnecessary adjectives and adverbs around like so many emulsifiers in this mess of similes and metaphors and incorrect scientific terms in some cacophonous run-on sentence. I work wonders with such distractions, but at what cost? No matter how glitzy the show, a vacuous core will always be forgettable.

It’s far more impressive to keep things concise and clear with a few well-chosen words. The spare and sparse beauty of a poem is something to which I aspire, but rarely achieve. One word is a razor, one is the heart, and what comes between is either protection or destruction. That’s too dangerous for me. I’d rather leave it to the experts. Like Mary Oliver in her poem ‘A Pretty Song‘ that follows:

 

From the complications of loving you,

I think there is no end or return.

No answer, no coming out of it.

 

Which is the only way to love, isn’t it?

This isn’t a playground, this is

earth, our heaven, for a while.

 

Therefore I have given precedence

to all my sudden, sullen, dark moods

that hold you in the center of my world.

 

And I say to my body: grow thinner still.

And I say to my fingers, type me a pretty song.

And I say to my heart: rave on.

 

 

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Dance With Me… Right Now (Yes, Now!)

One fine day,
you’ll look at me
And you will know our love was meant to be…

Sometimes you don’t need a specific memory for a song to have an impact on your life – in this case, I have no memory or story attached to this one. I didn’t see the George Clooney/Michelle Pfeiffer movie that bears its namesake, nor do I have any recollection of any time I heard it prior to this moment. (Of course, I have heard it, but no specific time in my life sticks out in correlation to it.)

If I did have a memory attached to it – or, more accurately, if I could attach this song to a memory – it would be of a September weekend in Ogunquit, as Andy and I walked along Main Street and the Marginal Way for the first time. The sun was shining, the summer was still burning, and the first flush of love was on our cheeks.

The arms  I long for
Will open wide
And you’ll be proud to have me right by your side…

These days, this music just makes me want to get up and dance, and any time that happens I take the song and play it to death, because we all need a little more dancing in our lives.

I’ll keep waiting, and someday darling
You’ll come to me when you want to settle down…

While the original recording by The Chiffons as seen above will be its classic incarnation, I do have an affinity to the following rollicking version by the writer herself, the majestic Carole King. Both versions beg you to move your feet. Go on, you know you want to… and I promise I won’t tell anyone, so long as you do the same.

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That’s James Franco Nude?

No, not really. And we know gratuitous male nudity here. Below is the supposed “nude selfie” that James Franco posted in the middle of the night, then quickly deleted. Boo on both. First of all, it’s not nudity. Second, why the sudden shyness for such a relatively innocent photograph? I love Mr. Franco’s collection of selfies, shirtless and otherwise, as well as his philosophical take on the role selfies play in our culture, so I’m not sure why he so precipitously took the pic below off his Instagram account. Show some balls!

Of course, it’s not Franco’s fault that the media has gone and made something out of nothing. It’s quick-on-the-draw and desperate-for-headlines bloggers like myself who said it was a naked selfie, but I like to delve a deeper. So for now, this gets categorized under ‘Shirtless Male Celebrities‘ and ‘Underwear‘, but not quite ‘Gratuitous Nudity.’ He’ll have to work harder for that. (Like he did in this post, where he gives a glimpse of his bare ass.)

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Mothers & Sons & Hedwig

This year’s Broadway excursion with my Mom has just been solidified, and it includes two recently-nominated-for-a-Tony shows. I’d been hedging on getting tickets because I was on the fence about what we should see, but when the reviews started coming in for Neil Patrick Harris in the revival of ‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’ I moved quickly to secure tickets. Luckily, I got them – in the third row no less – so I hope Mom is prepared for glitter and sweat (she usually is).

The night before Hedwig struts his/her stuff, we’ll be seeing ‘Mothers & Sons’ – the new play by Terrence McNally. Our theater-going history has been rife with Mr. McNally’s work – he wrote ‘Love! Valour! Compassion!’ and ‘Master Class’ – both of which we were lucky enough to see on Broadway – and he also wrote the book for ‘Ragtime’ which we also enjoyed. I’ve been hearing mixed things about ‘Mothers & Sons’ but more good than bad. Besides, it seemed a fitting title for a mother and son Mother’s Day weekend in New York.

While last year’s trip will be hard to top, as ‘Kinky Boots’ and ‘Pippin’ proved a theatrical double-knock-out, Neil Patrick Harris as Hedwig may be more than ample magic to do it. (And we’re even having dinner with Suzie again, which was a highlight of our last excursion. No cupcakes or holding cases necessary, I don’t care if they are pink.)

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An Orchid for an Anniversary

I’m a big-ticket boy when it comes to gifts. Flowers and chocolates are nice, but they’re not sufficient. However, for our upcoming wedding anniversary (May 7!) I’m going to go easy on Andy and his pocketbook – well, easy in Alan-land. Typically, I’ll drag him into Neiman Marcus or  Hermès and politely pick out a bottle of a Tom Ford Private Blend or the latest Hermès cologne.

This time around, I’m pleading for Tom Ford, but not one of the pricey Private Blends – I’m requesting one of the, ahem, mainstream fragrances: Black Orchid (which clocks in at a much more reasonable price point, and is not to be confused with Black Violet.) Up until this time, I’d ignored this one, being that it was over in the perfume section, and while I’m not averse to wearing perfume now and then, I tend to find most of them too sweet and floral for my liking. The last time I was in Sephora, however, I noticed that they had put it in the men’s fragrance section (Andy, you walk in and turn to the left wall, then go about three-quarters of the way into the store). I knew it was likely a store decision based on who was buying it, as the fragrance had been in the women’s section since it came out a number of years ago, so I gave it a try and fell in love. Maybe all these years of wearing Mr. Ford’s scents had finely attuned my sense of smell to better appreciate what I had hitherto ignored. Either way, I fell in love with Black Orchid, despite its questionable name. (I don’t know of a single orchid that’s very fragrant.)

It also has a sweet-enough aspect to make it palatable for spring – and I’m big on being seasonally appropriate when it comes to fragrance. I’ll grant you your white pants before Memorial Day nonsense if you must, but when it comes to scent, please show some sense of decency. Even with that sweetness, however, Black Orchid may be too much for many, and that’s precisely why I like it. The nights in spring are just as dark as the nights in fall.

{Available at Sephora in Colonie Center, first floor. I’ll supply a map if necessary.}

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A May Day Spattering of Male Celebrities in their Underwear

To christen this lusty month of May, let us take a look-see at some of the men who have already been featured on this site… in their underwear (and maybe out of it.) A guy in his skivvies can be a glorious thing to behold – but it all depends on the guy and his underwear. (Donald Trump in a pair of rumpled boxer shorts, for example, not so much. Same goes for Justin Bieber – eww to all the Beliebers.) The gentlemen below him, however, look better in precisely that mode.

Far more exciting than the Biebs is Chris Salvatore, which makes sense seeing as how he just released his first line of underwear, which includes the pretty-in-pink number he so perfectly fills out here.

Speaking of pink, check out the shirtless Aaron Schock, who, while not in his underwear here, might as well be. Sooner or later his naked Grindr texts are going to hit the internet, mark my words.

The amazing Russell Tovey is no stranger to selfies in his skivvies, and I have yet to hear a complaint.

While the following photo is not Tom Daley in his underwear, or even his Speedo, it’s welcome for its sunny and shirtless aspect – a much-needed blast of happiness and good weather from anywhere other than the Northeast right now.

And finally, bringing up the rear, literally and figuratively, is Harry Judd. Decidedly OUT of his underwear, as Mr. Judd often is. I’m still not hearing any complaints.

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Giving Out: Remember the Date

May is the month when it all happens. The height of spring, the roll-out to summer, the race to Memorial Day. This year proves no exception – in fact, there’s even more happening than usual. Mark down this date:  Thursday, May 15, 2014.

This will be Give Out Day, a 24-hour period of online giving for the LGBTQ community and our allies. Last year, the Pride Center of the Capital Region did exceptionally well in raising funds for its mission, and this year they’re looking to do even better. The Pride Center has always held a special place in my heart, not only for my work as the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery, but also for the vital role they play in the community.

On May 15, 2014, the plan is to get as many donations as possible in a 24-hour period. Last year, the Pride Center was the #1 fundraiser of smaller non-profit groups. In so many ways, this is the little organization that could. It bears repeating that the Pride Center of the Capital Region is the longest continually-operating LGBTQ center in the country. That says a lot for us, and it’s the people who have made it such a lasting operation.

If you’d like to give, be sure to do so at any time on May 15, 2014. (You can also contribute now so you don’t forget, with this neat feature set up to tabulate contributions on May 15 – a boon to those of us who find our days over-run with busy-ness.) Since this is mainly an online event, there’s no need to get dolled up and dressy about it, but there are opportunities for that as well. Two Happy Hours at two of my favorite places (Mingle and Oh Bar) will take place from 4 to 6 PM on that day as well. However, the best part of this is that your support and help can all be done online without leaving the comfort of your home or the palm of your hand. For further information, visit the Pride Center’s website here.

Engage. Support. Give.

Online fundraising for Give OUT Day - Alan Bennett Ilagan

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Every Time We Say Goodbye

My time in Minneapolis had come to a close. In the short set of days I’d been there, it had quickly become a comfortable place – the weekday bustle of the downtown, the maze of the Skywalk, the leisurely strolls along Nicollet Mall, the arts and the food and the friendliness of the people – and I suddenly found it sad to be leaving this bridge of a vacation between jobs. It helped to be away, and such thankfulness for a place and time always pings the heart, in much the same way any end of a vacation does.

Every time we say goodbye,
I die a little,
Every time we say goodbye,
I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me,
who must be in the know.
Think so little of me,
they allow you to go.

Who else but Ms. Fitzgerald could so perfectly capture the bittersweet poignancy of such a Sunday morning? The tea cup from breakfast sits forlornly on the desk. A rolled-up tie awaits snug placement in the suitcase. The rumpled sheets of a bed only briefly mine spill onto the floor. All the things that held such an exciting allure for the past few days are suddenly deflated with the morning of goodbye.

As often happens at this time, my mind wanders back to the first few moments spent in my hotel room.

When you’re near, there’s such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There’s no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor,
Every time we say goodbye.

Preparing to depart, I take one last look around the room. Aside from the messy bed, and the pile of towels in the bathroom, it looks much like it did on the day of my arrival, now that the suitcase is packed. The difference is in my countenance. Resigned to return to upstate New York, my head is already partly there. It will make it easier for when I do touch down.  Unlike most of my last-days-of-vacation, I am due to spend most of the day in Minneapolis. My flight isn’t scheduled to depart until the evening, so I walk to the Walker, but I’ve already told you about that.

An airport is either the happiest place on earth (at the start of a vacation) or the saddest (at the end) and rarely is there an in-between. By the time I walk through the Minneapolis/St. Paul hub (which smells much better than any other airport I’ve been in, thanks to the aroma emanating from Aveda), I am content and at peace with this goodbye. Minneapolis has been good to me, and the people have been kind. Sometimes that’s more than you can find in the comfort of your own home.

When you’re near, there’s such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There’s no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor,
Every time we say goodbye.

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