Currently starring in the Barrington Stage Company’s production of ‘Cabaret’, Dan Amboyer earns his first Dazzler of the Day crowning thanks to an impressive theatrical career, with turns in such classics as ‘The Tempest’, ‘Godspell’, ‘Dido and Aeneas’, ‘As You Like It’, ‘Inherit the Wind’, and The Importance of Being Earnest’. His latest onscreen appearance was in the Neil Patrick Harris Netflix comedy series ‘Uncoupled’ and he recently became a father, so he will likely be booked for the foreseeable future. Catch him here for now.
This shade seems to be all the rage on the nursery scene, as I found a trio of plants employing the not-so-subtle hue and plopped them into the front of our garden near the pool, where their shocking Day-Glo brilliance could best be appreciated. For all my talk of evolving into someone who now finds beauty in the calmer and quieter aspects of the garden, my heart still responds to bold and unabashed colors.
First up is this gorgeous variety of bee balm (Monarda) on which I am not completely sold just yet; its form has been a little too compact and crowded for my taste (and for its own, as it seems to already be succumbing to mildew rather early in the season for such things). We shall see how it plays out the rest of the year, and whether it comes back at all next year. For some reason the last Monarda I planted did not make it through the winter.
Next up in the pink parade is this pretty petite petunia, whose petals are perfectly perimetered by green. A hard ‘G’ might ruin the sentence I had going, but visually it’s a knock-out.
Finally, a twist on the purple and blue salvia that proves so deliciously irresistible to hummingbirds (if and when they show up – haven’t seen any this summer yet). This one will hopefully call out to those exquisite creatures, beckoning them with its bold color combo and offering sweet succor for their dainty little tongues and beaks.
Fresh off their Tony win as Best Leading Actor in a Musical, J. Harrison Ghee earns their first crowning as Dazzler of the Day. With an acclaimed performance in ‘Some Like It Hot’, Ghee is burning up the Broadway boards, which should come as no surprise to those of us who have followed their incendiary career, including on-stage appearances in ‘Kinky Boots‘, ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’, and ‘Chicago’. I can’t wait to see where they will take us next.
Like clockwork, the bright and sunny blooms of the evening primrose (Oenothera fruticosa) appeared almost to the day that summer begins. Also known as sundrops, these plants have a grandly exuberant flowering right now, and will occasionally repeat the show in smaller scale as the summer progresses. (Such floriferous behavior often wears itself out in this first showing, so enjoy it now as a second show is not always guaranteed.)
In the meantime, there is all this sunniness, coming from the ground up, as storms and showers line the foreseeable future in the sky. Summer has begun in restless and uncertain terms, so I’m taking the sunniness wherever I may find it.
The rain came down the rain came down The rain came down on me The wind blew strong and summer’s song Fades to memory
I knew you when i loved you then In summer’s yawn now helpless You laid me bare you marked me there The promises we made…
The first time I ever watched the George Cukor classic ‘The Women’ was on a lazy summer day, when it was too hot to stay outside, so I flipped through the channels of the television and this black and white movie came on TCM. Knowing it had inspired various fashion designers over the years, I settled in for the afternoon and watched the travails of Mary Haines and her female cohorts (with one of my favorites, Rosalind Russell, battling Joan Crawford for a meal of scenery). The bottle of perfume that forms a pivotal plot point for discovery was named ‘Summer Rain’, a name that has gone largely forgotten in favor of the more pointedly named ‘Jungle Red’ nail polish.
Tonight we are being deluged by rain, and so I was put in mind of the movie, and this song, which has nothing to do with the movie, but is from a summer-themed album ‘Reveal’ by R.E.M. That collection contained the more-overtly-related ‘Summer Turns to High‘ and the glorious ‘Imitation of Life‘.
I used to think as birds take wing They sing through life so why can’t we? We cling to this and claim the best If this is what you’re offering I’ll take the rain i’ll take the rain
The nighttime creases summer schemes And stretches out to stay The sun shines down you came around You loved the easy days but now the sun The winter’s come i wanted just to say That if I hold i’d hoped you’d fold Open up inside, inside of me
Most of the favored songs for summer are upbeat and effervescent and hopeful. That’s what summer is supposed to be – sunny and light and airy. That leaves out the darker underside, and somehow the more beautiful and somber shades of summer. It’s here in this song, here on this rainy evening, in which I take my own version of ‘Summer Rain’ down from the shelf, ‘Un Jardin Apres la Mousson’ by Hermes – which translates to a garden after the Monsoon – and spray a little on before bed.
Far from waking from thunder, I’ve always slept better during the rain, in or out of Hermes.
Late in the night during one of my teenage years she came to me. Flipping through the channels, I paused as this red-haired force of nature chewed the entire screen up with a fascinating amalgamation of song, comedy, stories, acting, and brilliance. This was Sandra Bernhard in her iconic show ‘Without You I’m Nothing’ – one of the first introductions some of us had to the wit, bravado, and bold magnificence of this performer, and reason alone for naming her Dazzler of the Day. She created worlds upon worlds of emotion and pathos and thrilling comedic relief, taking us right up to the edge of all that was known and familiar, then gleefully tossing us all over it. I fell for her then and there, and it’s been a lifelong love affair ever since. She is busier than ever, appearing on stage and screen and radio and album – and her summer schedule has her popping up in all the classic LGBTQ+ destinations, starting with San Francisco and Provincetown. Check out her website here for more info on all the things she has brewing.
… and an invitation for you to follow my ass on Instagram here. (Hence the Insta-grid snapshots.) My Twitter account needs to go if the current management is going to remain, and Instagram may be the social media fix I need to fill that void.
As with spring, summer begins in not-so-fine roller-coaster fashion, but right at the moment of this writing it is sunny (following several spells of rain, sometimes hard, sometimes light) so I’m focusing on the light when it’s here, and presenting this initial recap of summer in positive form.
Lately I’ve been pushing myself to stay up to midnight to get in the Wordle of the day before I fall asleep. On a streak now of 105, I’m half-terrified of missing one, and half wishing I end this streak so I won’t be staying up to midnight. The silly pressures of a day. The silly things we force upon ourselves. And so here I sit, ensconced in the attic, where I have a single candle burning and lending an element of coziness to counteract the chill of the air conditioning unit in the window. Writing around the midnight hour usually leaves much editing and revising for the following morning, but I’m not going to bother. It’s my blog and I’ll fuck shit up if I want to. Like ending a sentence with a proposition. Or starting a sentence with ‘like’ or… well, ‘or’. Yes, I shall leave this post alone, foibles and artistic license/abuse and all.
Maybe I should do more writing like this, to show what really traverses the frayed connections my brain is barely capable of making these days and nights. I once shared my struggle with social anxiety with a friend and they expressed great appreciation and relief that someone so seemingly not anxious about things could be so debilitatingly afflicted. It dawned on me that maybe my image does in fact overshadow the reality of my limits. Revealing it doesn’t feel like giving something up as it once did. Quite the contrary – it feels emboldening, as if all those years of pretending might have actually coalesced into something genuine; I have in fact been able to build a belief in myself that might have been false at first but has since become real with a lot of behind-the-scenes work.
If you were perched in one of the pine trees or maples outside the window, you would glimpse a light in the attic – part candle, part lap-top, part reflection – and you might wonder at what the occupant is doing up at such a late hour, even on a weekend in summer. I wonder too.
“How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.” ~ Shel Silverstein, ‘A Light in the Attic’
Realtors have to be the most seductive people on earth because their jobs and livelihoods depend upon winning people over. (Confession: I’ve fallen prey to their unintentional charm at least once.) Behind any successful seduction, however, a bit of genuine heart is required, as most of us eventually wise-up to the rest. Taking such care into finding homes for others, Samantha Parker earns her first Dazzler of the Day for putting her heart into her job, while expanding and searching for her own purpose in the city of Albany.
What is most intriguing to me is her mission-without-a-mission-statement for an ongoing/upcoming/ever-evolving project she terms #TheHeartOfAlbany. “My heart has changed courses a couple of times,” she begins on the intro page, and my own heart thrills at someone who can be open and honest enough to acknowledge and face changes as they come, be they difficult or trying or initially-unwanted. The idea she is working on is in its incubation stages – and that’s always impressive for those of use who won’t try anything out publicly unless we are absolutely sure it will work. I admire that courage and audacity. If you’re looking for a home, or simply for some inspiration, spirit and sparkle, check out her website here along with her opening salvo for #TheHeartOfAlbany excerpted below.
A project or a hobby? I don’t believe it will be anything earth-shattering. With the exception of daily journaling and the occasional social media posts, I don’t really write. So what is this? I tried something a few years back with #TheHeartOfAlbany that never really lifted off because I overthought it. Typical. “Analysis paralysis”, as my friend Eric Meissner would say. At that time, #TheHeartOfAlbany consisted of long form video interviews with the feel and style of who knows what. I had a vision a long time ago while majoring in communications at UAlbany that I would interview people for “the scoop” by asking poignant questions, digging deeper into understanding them so they’d share their soul. Much like Oprah, I have always admired her, (we would be besties). In my mind, that sounded good yet it didn’t happen that way in these videos. BTW – Shout out to Alejandro del Peral and Tom Nardacci. They rolled with me at my first attempts, they trusted me. People will say “yes” when you ask for help, especially when its to share their passion. Long form videos take a lot of time and resources, so the project soon became a hashtag of home sales in the area along with places I found interesting in my travels. Not at all what I envisioned it, however I didn’t want it to fade.
So here I am, a few years later trying not to overthink the #HeartOfAlbany + looking to bring it back somehow. Originally, the idea for this was to document local people doing amazing things in our area. “Change-makers” … people passionate about their craft, their work and highlight the impact they were making. I feel like I am being called to try this “thing” again, and heavily. Reflecting that it’s been a 3 years since “the world shut down” (to the day), there could be some correlation.
So, it’s 2023. What am I doing? What are others doing?
If you don’t know me, a vibrancy has always lived inside of me. I have gotten through sooo much in this life. Because of that I have an immense amount of love and compassion for others, have always been an uplifter, an encourager. My nicknames “perky Sam Parker” and “Sam Sparkle” were welcomed because I am mostly cheerful, I smile a lot. I walk into spaces to warm them. During the pandemic I would do FB Live videos with birthday wishes and reading daily excerpts from A Year of Positive Thinking by Cyndie Spiegel, just to spread optimism. To spread hope. Being around people brings life into every fiber of my being so you can imagine I was itching to break out of jail. I do my best to find silver-linings, it always gave me hope and always strengthened me.
So, as I look around at this city right now, in 2023, who is rebuilding this city after some darks days, weeks, months even years, post-apocalypse? I know there are a vast number of people who complain a lot. I am not talking to those people. I am asking if there are others that believe there is great opportunity here who are eager to see this city vibrant again? Are you wondering the same thing? Perhaps you are seeking more for our home too. Are people doing something to restore and/or keep their vibrancy and passion alive here too? If so, I need to find them. Talk to them. Maybe they never left. Maybe they did. Maybe they abandoned their ideas and gave up and are stagnant, or maybe like me they are finding their passion again. Someone out there must know though. I cannot be the only one craving more energy. #TheHeartOfAlbany may not make big waves or reach the masses, but if one story turns into two, two then turns into three… I would be so happy. I have no mission statement, just a heart. And if it leads me to a few more hearts who desire the same things, thats a huge win. Are you someone I should talk to? I am here for it.
For some unfathomable reason, the sight of these Lysimachia Aurea (Golden Creeping Jenny) flowers always brings running water to mind. While they do love an abundance of water, and are often employed near streams and ponds and such, I’ve never had occasion to encounter them in such a setting. Yet whenever I see them they bring to mind the cooling sound of water. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking and an overactive imagination. Regardless of the why in my harried brain, I find them a refreshing sight. The foliage of these is less chartreuse than when the plant originally went in several years ago – re-seeding may have dulled the brightness of the foliage, though it still feels fresh. It’s possible that the sports revert to the duller green, emboldening the nursery to propagate rather than the poor home gardener such as myself.
In this case, I planted a few of these in potted plants several years ago; they trailed and escaped into the surrounding ground, and I let them remain there as it wasn’t an area I was tending to anyway. When they took off a bit, I increased the caretaking and watering, and did well enough to coax out some flowering. Here they stay, spreading a bit more, to the point where they may need to be contained at some point. Those are the good gardening problems to have. It’s so much easier to cut back and cut out than to repair or regrow. Except in the case of bamboo. Don’t get that started, unless it’s a clumping variety. (And I’m told that those aren’t as well-behaved as some literature would have one believe.)
For many gay males of a certain era (namely mine) the International Male and Undergear catalogs were our entryway into the world of gay erotica. Cloaked in often-campy and always-questionable fashion, it was the lack of clothing options – and underwear-forward photo shoots – that made these catalogs such a hit. Not gonna lie – I was there for the fashion too, and the true shame in my closet wasn’t my sexuality as much as the multitude of lace-up pirate shirts that once constituted the wardrobe, to say nothing of all the gauze… but I disdainfully digress.
One of those male models who personified International Male and the unattainable aspiration they were selling was Brian Buzzini. He will forever be embedded in my teenage fantasies, moodily staring out of those pages clad in a skimpy pair of black bikini briefs, as if he lived his life on the shore, just hanging out in his underwear – and that was most certainly the life for me. Today he looks just as chiseled, with the additional character that a couple of decades imbues into the best of the survivors (and those who have obviously taken care of themselves over the years). For that, he earns this Dazzler of the Day.
Summer is the best season for making musical memories – and when you align a certain period of time with a specific summer song, the memory is usually as salient as anything injured by lilac or peony. Fragrance gets all the glory when it comes to invoking memories, but a certain piece of music can be just as resonant. For this post, I’m recreating a playlist of the past, from some of my favorite summer songs. Not all of these came out in the sunny season, but that’s when I find myself playing them the most, so they have become my own set of summer songs. There is also no artistically-intentional sequence, for the most part, so if you’re looking for a deeper narrative you’ve got the wrong season. It’s summer; the living, and the listening, is supposed to be easy. I’ll only embed the first tune, and leave the rest for you to find and peruse on your own. I’m told Spotify is a great way to discover new music, so do what the cool kids do and go forth along that avenue (then teach me how to use it so I can follow).
My classic summer playlist begins with one of the very few upbeat and happy Enya songs ever written, and it was part of a Crystal Light commercial that aired during my childhood. A very strong memory of sipping their iced tea while sucking on hard raspberry candies (the ones that came in a round little tin with pretty pictures of pink fruit on top) all while watching the NBC daytime line-up is what this song conjures for me – a stagnant but cool moment that would inform a lifetime of drama thanks to the inspirational mayhem found on ‘Days of Our Lives’, ‘Another World’ and ‘Santa Barbara’.
Some of these songs go way back, and are only summer-like thanks to my own singular machinations of when I played them the most. You probably have your own summer songs – the ones that mean something only to you, and have come to embody the summers of your youth. That’s when music seems to matter most.
And so I play the music of my own summer youth, rekindling old memories and burning a few new ones. I’ve purposely left out more recent songs in service of future blog posts, and perhaps another summer playlist before the season is out. Maybe by then I’ll figure out this Spotify thing and enter the current decade…
Hot off the heels of his appearance in last year’s ‘Fire Island’, Zane Phillips is making a Speedo-clad splash in the new ‘Glamorous’ (for anyone seeking a Samantha fix before her ‘And Just Like That’ return cameo). This marks the auspicious first crowning of Phillips as Dazzler of the Day, with more features like to come.
When the Boston Red Sox chose to change their logo for June to incorporate the LGBTQ+ Progressive flag colors I was so enthused that I wrote a simple ‘Thank you’ on the FaceBook post which announced they had switched their profile pic. Almost immediately, that innocuous comment received a pair of middle-finger emojis from someone who never did answer whether they were meant for me, or the Red Sox (as we were both tagged in it).
So if you’re pondering the matter of whether Pride Month is necessary, and whether it means anything anymore, I suggest you take a look at the comments section of almost any LGBTQ+-related social media post today. The world hasn’t changed all that much – they just don’t bother to hide the hate anymore.
It’s no surprise that I’m not keen on doing what everyone else does. Call it a natural defiance, call it a contrariness, call it basic immaturity, I simply don’t like following the masses. That goes to my taste in plants as well. When we were kids, my brother and I got to pick out one plant for each summer planting season. He would also go for something basic but colorful – a marigold or snapdragon – while I would seek out the unknown ones which hadn’t bloomed yet – a portulaca one year and a dahlia another. While those are all pretty common now, my taste for the rare and not commonly-found items stayed with me, and for many years I tried things that weren’t well-known or widely available. That began to subside the older I got and the more reasonable I grew. These days, it’s not uncommon for me to celebrate the most mundane and common plants, appreciating them for all the reasons they became to popular in the first place.
Case in point is this strikingly-vibrant mandevilla – a flowering tropical plant that is basically everywhere these days, and one which I have constantly avoided because of its ubiquity.
I don’t know why I fought such beauty simply because it was so popular. Going against the grain comes with its own efforts and weariness, and when you’re resisting a thing of prettiness it all feels pretty pointless. Hence this pot of mandevilla, currently burning brightly against a cool blue backdrop. Fired up to handle the heat, it’s a powerhouse bloomer, and one which I am kicking myself for not employing until this year. Better late than never… burn, baby, burn.
