­
­
­

Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Hazy Wet Recap

This is the last week that ALANILAGAN.com will be up until our return in the fall. I have a couple of kick-ass posts before then, however, provided I can overcome all these 500 Internal Errors that keep happening. In the meantime, a look back over the last week for anyone who missed it.

Summer came upon us in glorious fashion.

Fuck Trump.

Cologne chaos with Chris.

The Madonna Timeline returned with one of Madonna’s most introspective songs.

Family time at the Amsterdam castle.

A charming visit to Manhattan with Andy, in multiple part glory: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 and Part 8.

Adam Rippon got naked for the ESPN Body Issue.

A Boston/Cape Cod whirlwind: Part One and Part Two.

Hunks of the Day included Phillip Picardi and Dominic Cooper.

Continue reading ...

A Very Naked Adam Rippon

Just before taking off for summer break, we lucked out on the timing of this post, which allows me to post several photos from Adam Rippon’s ESPN Naked Body Issue, a very happy time for the world, when athletes doff their uniforms in favor of their God-given suits and strut their stuff in fully nude form. That always gets a big celebratory post here, as we’ve seen here and here and here, particularly among such favored luminaries as Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowski, and Michael Phelps. Now we can add Adam Rippon to that esteemed list. Mr. Rippon was featured here a number of times, notably in this post and that one. (Ok, this one too.)

Continue reading ...

Boston/Cape Cod Whirl ~ Part 2

Sea had stayed at bay during the night. I’d kept the windows closed as it had cooled down considerably. Upon waking and walking to Cafe Madeleine, however, I noticed Sea was still around, a bit more sulky, perhaps, and she would follow me to Cape Cod, sifting through the sky and pouring down once I reached my destination. JoAnn and I sat near the bay window of her little mermaid home on Shore Road as the rain poured down, a worrisome state of affairs for Tressie’s graduation later that afternoon. The radar showed it moving off shore in the coming hours, though, and I remained hopeful it would clear. As JoAnn and I caught up, the sky lightened. Sea had thrown her fit and let Eel Pond take over for a bit.

I took a short walk to the Lobster Trap for a seafood fix, where I had the fortune to run into JoAnn’s sister Kate and her daughter Madison. They were good enough to join me for lunch, and celebrating Kate’s birthday as well, which is just how the universe sometimes works. The guests were gathering for the party. Excitement was in the air like the Sea.

On the walk home, I rounded the house and went a few more blocks out of the way to extend the beauty of the Cape. Privet and beach roses were in full bloom, sweetly scenting the misty air. Sea ran in channels all about the area, and I breathed her in alongside the oceanic cologne that wafted off the lichens and moss and wet-loving organisms.

Sky was gray, but her sister Blue had found habitation among the iconic Cape Cod hydrangeas. They don’t get any bluer than here. Subtler shades were found in the wet wreckage of the roadside vegetation, but there were accents of bright color if you got closer and slowed down to see.

Back in JoAnn’s backyard, her work on the gardens over the last couple of years was coming into beautiful fruition. Proper cultivation brought about bigger blooms, brighter colors and a pleasant richness that usually begins in a garden’s third or fourth year. The lessons of a garden were working their own magic – patience, persistence, perpetual failure followed by moments of redemption and gorgeous success. She’s a relatively new gardener, but she’s doing well and finding her way. It came about at just the right time, in just the manner the world intended it to be. A bit of grace, perhaps, in a mad world.

Hope was to be found in the future at hand as well, and celebrating Tressie’s graduation from college was a happy way of bringing everyone together, which is what JoAnn does best. I’ve had the pleasure of being her friend for almost twenty years, and in that time I’ve had the occasional favor of getting to peep in on parties and gatherings where her family members would enter and exit at various stages in our lives.

This was one of those times when everyone seemed to be at a good place. That rarely happens in such fortuitous fashion, not when there are so many of us treading so many different paths, but for one afternoon in June, when the rain held off and the breeze wasn’t too cool, a group of hopeful college grads christened us all with the bit of hope that we needed so badly.

Early the next morning, I departed for my niece’s dance recital, continuing on the circle of life. The day began uncool, gray fashion, and I was leaving Sea behind for the moment. We will be back to see her before the summer is over.

Continue reading ...

Boston/Cape Cod Whirl ~ Part 1

Sea whispered to me when I arrived in Boston. She peaked around corners, she skulked in the shadows, she stepped alongside me in the sun. Everywhere I walked, I felt she was there. She tickled my nose with her salty seduction, teasing and tempting with her mineral-laden scent. On certain summer days, that’s what Sea did best, and as I began my perambulation of Boston, she was in the air.

The weekend would be informed by Sea, who had a strong backing wind, one that brought her all the way to Braddock Park and the South End, and one that would follow in the misty air as I made my way to Cape Cod the next day. First, though, a few glimpses of the flowers that were in striking form along the streets of Boston.

Roses tumbled out of every little square of dirt – full, multi-branched mini-bouquets of roses, arching and weighing down their thorny boughs, reaching out to entice all passers-by with their prettiness and perfume. It was a beautiful afternoon, but I could still sense Sea, could feel her in the humid, murky descent of evening. I made my way through the cobblestone streets of the oldest parts of the city. Some of the steps were haunted, by Sea and by History. Her story too. I was scoping out scenes for the upcoming BroSox Adventure with Skip, and found some new possibilities in the night. It will be a summer weekend when we go, but the autumn may beckon a bit, hinting of mystery and impending coziness. August plays out that way. But I’m getting ahead of myself, and early summer is not the time to do that.

I did not have the option of making it a late night, having to get up at dawn to beat the traffic over the bridge to Cape Cod. Besides, when Sea is in the air, memories and spirits move easier among worlds, especially at night. It’s better to hide in slumber at such times. I hurried home to the condo, ran up the steps, and locked the door behind me.

Continue reading ...

Hunk of the Day: Dominic Cooper

Dominic Cooper first came to my attention with his charismatic turn in ‘The History Boys’, a film adapted from the 2006 Tony-winning play. It’s no easy feat to steal a film from such accomplished actors as Richard Griffiths and Frances de la Tour, not to mention upstarts like James Corden, Russell Tovey and future Broadway Harry Potter lead Jamie Parker, but Mr. Cooper managed to do just that. Tonight, he returns in the third season of the inflammatory ‘Preacher’ – which added the ever-compelling Betty Buckley to its roster of indelible characters. In honor of all that, this is his first Hunk of the Day crowning. 

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 8

This day of departure was mirrored in the morning weather of midtown – cloudy, misty, and bordering on rain. Yet there was fullness in our hearts, thanks to a wonderful weekend and a magnificent Betty Buckley performance. One can’t be sorry too long with such happy memories stored neatly away in such fresh wrapping. We packed our bags and headed to Grand Central Station.

It’s so much nicer there than Penn Station – we should probably consider saving money and driving down to the station that usually goes into this one for the future. Though there is no seating in the waiting area, it is so much prettier and more spacious that it’s worth a bit of standing. It was much easier to board too, without all the subterranean escalators and cramped lines and lunatics that seem to overrun Penn Station.

Our time in Manhattan had come to a close. I wish we could have stayed a little longer, but there were comforts only home could provide – a pool, a conversation couch, a fluffy bed – and we would return to New York in the fall anyway to see ‘Come From Away’ with my parents. (The first thing any sensible person does upon ending a vacation is to plan the next one.)

Another comforting thought was that the one constant throughout this weekend of fun was Andy, and since he was coming along with me we could have our own adventures closer to home. Even with his limited mobility, he soldiered through, and thanks to some help from Uber we got everywhere we needed to go. The city had opened up secret glimpses of beauty, lifting the veil from its hidden treasures so that we could see the magic of a perfect rose or hear the gorgeousness of a song of hope.

Until we return…

 

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 7

The lobby of the Public Theatre is bright and clean. I’d been there to see ‘Here Lies Love’ a few years ago, and we had had dinner at the Library. Tonight that place is closed for a private event, but it’s not food I’m after. In the electric anticipation of seeing one of my lifelong idols take the stage just a few feet from my seat, I mill excitedly about. I feel the same eager joy I experienced right before seeing ‘Sunset Boulevard’ during Betty Buckley’s triumphant run. Twenty-plus years and eighteen albums later the elation hasn’t diminished. If anything, it’s more stirring, because in all that time Ms. Buckley’s work has informed key portions of my life. One entire fall of my college life was framed by her haunting rendition of ‘When October Goes’, followed by ‘My Love and I’ in a forlorn winter. As she’s evolved, many of us have faithfully followed, from ‘Sunset’ to ‘Triumph of Love’ to ‘Gypsy’ and ‘Grey Gardens’. Her next venture is the national tour of ‘Hello, Dolly!’ but before she starts spreading that happiness, the final night of her series of performances at Joe’s Pub to celebrate the release of the ‘Hope’ album was at hand.

We decided to buy the new CD in the moments leading up to the show, and by the time we take our seats near the stage we have each shared our stories of seeing Ms. Buckley over the years and everyone feels a little closer and, yes, a little more hopeful. I won’t get into the wonder of the performance (you can read all about it here). It will have to do with being nothing less than a dream come true.

After the show, she was gracious enough to sign some CDs, and Andy finally convinced me to tell her that I had a written a couple of blog posts about her.

“Oh, you’re that Alan!” she exclaimed, and opened her arms to hug me.

It was one of the nicest things an idol could have done. I didn’t want to hold the line up, so I thanked her quickly for all the music she’s made over the years, and she was even more gracious in posing for a picture. It was the perfect ending to a perfect night of music, and as we rode home in the New Yok night, Andy and I were both elated.

It would be difficult to leave the next morning, as it always is after an exceptionally good time…

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 6

Believe it or not, Andy and I don’t go on that many traditional date nights. We cook for ourselves, get take-out, and often join friends and family for dinner, but a sit-down restaurant for just the two of us is rarer than it should be. On this evening, I made reservations at that 80’s chestnut Indochine, since it was right across the street from Joe’s Pub, where our show was playing later that night. We sat down at a cozy table (once a very inebriated and cranky woman allowed us to slide past her seat) and took our time with our meal, beginning with some cocktails and a delicious dish of grilled eggplant that simply melted in the mouth. With its accents of fresh tomatoes and coriander, it was a treat.

The meal itself was lovely as well – this pungent seafood bouillabaisse was flavored with coconut and curry then given an added jolt of fresh herbs on top. (Most people don’t realize how potent a few leaves of coriander or mint can be – it can make all the difference.)

The best part of date night is getting to try two desserts instead of one. Andy ordered this chocolate mousse, while I opted for a lemon tart. We shared so we could try a bit of each. As Winnie-the-Pooh once remarked with startling wisdom, “It’s so much friendlier with two.”

Our desserts done, it was time for the main show, and the true purpose of our weekend in New York: an evening with Betty Buckley.

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 5

There may be no greater pleasure in life than getting to watch your husband find joy and delight in an unexpected surprise. Even eighteen years into our relationship, it still tickles me. This one came in the midst of an otherwise uneventful walk back to Midtown. We were escaping the increasing heat by ducking into the shops along Fifth Avenue (ok, maybe I was multi-tasking by shopping as well) after passing through an Indian Festival on the edge of Union Square. Suddenly, a colorful sea of saris swarmed in front of us, and the entire avenue was filled with a parade that seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Brilliance and sparkle and exuberance surrounded us, and three enormous chariots raised their fabric towers and set into motion.

This was the Chariot Festival, making its way down Fifth Avenue, a thousand times more gorgeous and exciting than all the goods in Zara and Club Monaco. I watched as Andy got out his phone and smiled as he took a video of the spectacle (check it out on his Instagram feed). I imagined him as a kid, thrilling at their dog’s antics, or the hatching of a chick he helped to raise, or some car of which he knew the make and model and entire history. His happiness made me happy.

Soon, the parade passed us by, and we walked until we collapsed in our hotel. A well-earned siesta would pass the time until dinner and the show. Part of me couldn’t wait until our brush with Betty Buckley later that evening, part of me didn’t want the day to end…

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 4

Art is everywhere in New York, and not only in the abundance of museums and traditional show places. It’s in the way these parks reclaim nature’s power, slowly subsuming the very boundaries put in place to keep things out, and in. We stopped to examine the way this tree was slowly eating up the iron fence beside it. It was difficult to discern which came first. Perhaps they were both put in at the same time, and were just now coming to blows. Or maybe this is a melding of two entities long hoping to touch and intertwine. For now, it’s an interesting stand-off.

We reached the Village just as the sun reached its zenith. I knew Andy was struggling, and he said we had to sit down for a bit. It was a good time for both of us to sit in a park, right beside a statue of Mayor LaGuardia. Birds flitted about us as a nice breeze added comfort to the dappled shade. A little pool of calm in the midst of the chaos that is Manhattan. Somehow, its chaos is contained, like these little collections of street art – contained within the specific limitations of their physicality. Bound by the borders of a wall of a mail box, hindered by the gradual wear of winter winds and summer storms, the art here is fleeting, ever-changing.

It is as rough as it is rich. Layered in complexity and meaning beyond what a quick drive-by or pedestrian brush could fully reveal. It awaits revelation as much as it defies discovery, covert and overt at once.

These are the little surprises that call to everyone differently. Some don’t hear anything at all. Some hear the grandest symphony, the most lush flourishes from the universal chorus of the cosmos, come to sing their very own theme song.

There was one more surprise in store for us before we made it back to the hotel…

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 3

We slept in on Saturday morning, as we had no plans or any need rush to be anywhere until the concert much later that night. The day was sunny and bright – the perfect almost-summer day in New York that looked like it might border on being too hot, but shade and a slow pace, along with frequent shop stops, would easily combat any discomfort.

We began in simple and casual fashion, the way I prefer most breakfasts in New York. A typical little Greek diner was more than enough to satisfy what we needed, then we took our time walking downtown while our meal settled. We had no destination in mind, no plan plotted out – it was just Andy and me, walking on a beautiful day, pausing as we felt like it and taking our time.

At such moments, secret places tend to open up and invite one in if you let them. Most of us are too hurried or focused on something else to realize the little nooks that New York can provide. Most of the time I’m the same way, but on this day we had the luxury of walking for the sake of walking, and taking in every possibility that floated our way. Such as these little parks. They are all over, and most are open to the public during the day. They are also mostly empty, because too many people just don’t notice or care or have the benefit of time. I knew we were the lucky ones on this day.

Roses and hydrangeas and a world of green invited us through wrought-iron gates, and respites of cool shade and tranquil quiet, buffered by leaves and tree trunks, gave us beautiful pause on our walk.

These were magical places, where flowers floated in the sky and fish swam in the stone…

 

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 2

Andy could not manage an additional show and it was clear he was hurting, so we kept our evening plans to a casual dinner at Keen’s. Suzie took me there a couple of times, whenever we were seeing a Madonna concert at Madison Square Garden. It was classic New York, and we loved the burgers. Plus, there were all those pipes hanging from the ceiling. Kids like me could get hooked into counting them so as not to disrupt the adult diners. We made the short walk from our hotel to the restaurant and arrived early enough to get in without a wait. (The pub area is always more fun than the main dining room, let’s face it.)

I ordered a martini and Andy got his Hemingway daiquiri. He may single-handedly be bringing back this classic cocktail from almost-obscurity, and I applaud him for that. We will work on our home version this summer. For now, our cocktail glasses clinked beside one another on the table, our burgers arrived, and soon it was time for a shared dessert.

Summer whispered her impending arrival; when we exited the dim restaurant it was still light out, and we walked in that happy confusion the longest days of the year provide. It also meant that there was an hour or two of retail therapy available, so we stopped along the way and Andy helped me pick out a new Tallia jacket that was 75% off. It pays to follow your instincts, and on that night I just knew we should stop for shopping.

I felt the same way when we woke the next day…

Continue reading ...

Meeting an Idol in Manhattan – Part 1

If it feels like we’ve been in New York a lot recently, it’s because we have. There was our visit to ‘Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Parts 1 and 2’ back in April, and our recent Mother’s Day pilgrimage in May (‘The Boys in the Band’, ‘Once on This Island’ and ‘Dear Evan Hansen’). The month of June brought something even more special, at least for me: a Betty Buckley show. Ever since her iconic star turn in ‘Sunset Boulevard’ I’ve been a die-hard Betty Buckley fan, and my adoration and adulation of her has only grown over the ensuing years. She’s one of those rare artists who changes and evolves, yet somehow always manages to produce meaningful and beautiful music, even when venturing into uncharted territory. Her 18thalbum, ‘Hope’, was the reason for her celebratory series of shows at Joe’s Pub at the Public Theatre, and after missing out for too many years, I finally booked us tickets.

We arrived at the Albany-Rensselaer station to a sign that explained all trains were going to Grand Central terminal, instead of Penn, which foiled my original plan for our hotel to be within short walking distance of the station. On a good day, Andy doesn’t well with a lot of walking, but things were even more distressing because he’d just had a rough bout with a recent blood test. Somehow, he managed to trudge through the change in plans, and was a trooper for the entire weekend.

Grand Central is so much nicer than Penn anyway, and a quick Uber ride would get us to our accommodations without incident. The ride was more than worth it as our suite at the Hotel Eventi was an elegant treat. One of our favored Kimpton properties, the Eventi extended our appreciation for the company and its customer service. (We even whispered the little promotional phrase and were gifted with a cute little summer basket of beach accessories.)

After settling in, I went for a quick walk while Andy took a much-needed siesta. We were in the city again, and the evening was open…

Continue reading ...

High in a Hometown Castle

Now that I’ve reached the age where most of my friends have been married off, there are fewer occasions at which we get a chance to dress up, so whenever the opportunity arises we take it. If it also coincides with a fundraising effort for a hometown cause, so much the better. Such was the happy confluence of events when we went to a benefit at the Amsterdam Castle. Filled with hometown heroes, it was a fun night out with my family, and I got to see several friends I haven’t seen in years.

Before the festivities, however, we took a few family photos, because that’s what you do when you’re all dolled up and have a beautiful afternoon for a backdrop.

Yes, I wore florals. For spring.

And yes, it was groundbreaking.

Elaine joined us and with all of the people we met at the castle, I was pleasantly reminded of all the goodness that happens when a community comes together for a cause. (If you’ve ever been curious about what the inside of the Amsterdam Castle looks like, give them a call and reserve a room.)

Most exciting for some of us was when Andy posed with my Mom in front of her new car that he helped her select. Car Pride. It’s real.

Continue reading ...

The Madonna Timeline: Song #144 ~ ‘Mer Girl’ – Summer 1998

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Have you ever swum in the black of a summer night?

I don’t mean in a brightly-lit pool or an ocean under a full moon.

I’m talking pitch black, perhaps in a lake not surrounded by electric-laden homes, when the sky might be dotted with stars but no moon. When you can’t see where the water ends and the sky begins, you can only feel it. I would imagine that it’s as thrilling as it is terrifying, that without being able to tell where water meets shore one would feel maddeningly lost, but at the same time absolutely free. We are so rarely without boundary or vision. I wonder if it echoes back to the darkness of the womb, to the amniotic fluid surrounding us before we learned to breathe air. What a strange state to be in – the very ends and beginnings of our lives.

I RAN FROM MY HOUSE THAT CANNOT CONTAIN ME
FROM THE MAN THAT I CANNOT KEEP
FROM MY MOTHER WHO HAUNTS ME, EVEN THOUGH SHE’S GONE
FROM MY DAUGHTER THAT NEVER SLEEPS…

A minimalist track murmurs a muffled introduction. The music is as close to liquid as music gets. Credit the wizardry of William Orbit and his way around gurgles and bubbles and water-like personification. As the main conjuror of the aural texture of Madonna’s ‘Ray of Light’ album, Orbit helmed things like a proper ship captain, navigating the watery environs that informed so many songs on that great work of art. For its final cut, the devastating ‘Mer Girl’ closed proceedings with a dark, poetic, and often tortured treatise on life and death, particularly the early loss of Madonna’s mother.

I RAN FROM THE NOISE AND THE SILENCE
FROM THE TRAFFIC ON THE STREETS
I RAN TO THE TREETOPS, I RAN TO THE SKY
OUT TO THE LAKE, INTO THE RAIN THAT MATTED MY HAIR
AND SOAKED MY SHOES AND SKIN
HID MY TEARS, HID MY FEARS
I RAN TO THE FOREST, I RAN TO THE TREES
I RAN AND I RAN, I WAS LOOKING FOR ME

What swims in that primordial darkness of fluid and life? What particles of matter comprise and collide to give us purpose and meaning? What other beings or entities share that lake of night? What gives rise to connection, to affection, to love? There is beauty in the blackness, in the way it goes on forever and swallows everything up. Immortal being. Endless existence. A point in time on perpetual repeat. The fluid stirs, all warmth and life and lack of light – the time frame expands. Infinity.

I RAN PAST THE CHURCHES AND THE CROOKED OLD MAILBOX
PAST THE APPLE ORCHARDS AND THE LADY THAT NEVER TALKS
UP INTO THE HILLS, I RAN TO THE CEMETERY
AND HELD MY BREATH, AND THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR DEATH
I RAN TO THE LAKE, UP INTO THE HILLS
I RAN AND I RAN, I’M LOOKING THERE STILL
AND I SAW THE CRUMBLING TOMBSTONES
ALL FORGOTTEN NAMES

When describing the summer before her ‘Ray of Light’ album was released, Madonna characterized her state of mind as haunted. The violent deaths of Princess Diana and Gianni Versace had hit close to the rarefied circles of the upper-level celebrity echelon. Madonna had been in the tunnel where a Princess crashed, had walked up the steps now bloodied with a designer’s spilled life. She had known death from the age of five, the age one typically begins to make memories, to know and to be aware. She felt it again and again throughout her life – all those friends that died from AIDS, the ones that had informed the woman she was becoming. She knew its indiscriminate, cruel pull, the way a person was there one day and simply gone the next. It was a terror that destroyed as much as it made her resilient. She defied it in most ways, teased it in others, yet it remained a steadfast dancing partner, as reliable as her own fame, as faithful as her most die-hard fans.

I TASTED THE RAIN, I TASTED MY TEARS
I CURSED THE ANGELS, I TASTED MY FEARS
AND THE GROUND GAVE WAY BENEATH MY FEET
AND THE EARTH TOOK ME IN HER ARMS
LEAVES COVERED MY FACE
ANTS MARCHED ACROSS MY BACK
BLACK SKY OPENED UP, BLINDING ME

Like no other Madonna song before or since, ‘Mer Girl’ is the most introspective and raw she has been, both lyrically and musically. It never quite resolves itself. Death here is not only an end. It’s a stepping-off point. To where, no one can know or say, but when you’re running away from one thing, you’re running toward something else. Whether that’s nothingness or some other state of oblivion may never be known.

I RAN TO THE FOREST, I RAN TO THE TREES
I RAN AND I RAN, I WAS LOOKING FOR ME
I RAN TO THE LAKES AND UP TO THE HILL
I RAN AND I RAN, I’M LOOKING THERE STILL
AND I SMELLED HER BURNING FLESH
HER ROTTING BONES
HER DECAY
I RAN AND I RAN
I’M STILL RUNNING AWAY

The ambient music drains before Madonna finishes her delivery. The last lines are sung unaccompanied and alone. There is vastness and emptiness here. There is a hallway that runs on forever, a sea that never reaches the shore. There is loss unending, sorrow without solace, a ruin that can never be restored. Somewhere there is light – somewhere the sun and the moon and the stars shine and reflect and sparkle, but not here.

This is the end…

Before the beginning.

SONG #144: ‘Mer Girl’ – Summer 1998

Continue reading ...