Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

A Fragrance After My Own Heart: Straight to Heaven By Kilian

Nothing says spring like a new fragrance for the cologne cabinet. Since we’ve had a chilly start of it, this warm and woodsy offering By Kilian – rather unfortunately named ‘Straight to Heaven’ – is the latest addition to my addiction, where it fittingly bridges the transition between winter and spring. The first time I encountered this exquisite gem was in New York several years ago. My Mom and I had just come out of the Plaza and were about to head back to our decidedly-less-fancy hotel when the windows of Bergdorf Goodman and their Men’s Shop called to me. We stepped gingerly through the revolving door and the relative calm was an immediate balm from the bustling street. To the right, a curved wooden and glass display case housed part of their colognes.

I stopped first at the Tom Ford section, quickly assessing that there were no new Private Blends in evidence, and fished around for some news on what might be coming next. Nothing. I crossed over to another counter where a pushy but fabulous salesperson was spraying a multitude of sample cards and intoning me to try them out. At the time I was new to the oud game, but I told her I liked things on the woodsy side, though also partial to citrus and some element of sandalwood. She showed me a new oud By Kilian, which was nice, and then, almost as an afterthought, sprayed a thick white card with their signature scent, ‘Straight to Heaven’. As repellent as the name was, the scent itself was divine. Reluctantly, I admitted I loved it, but at about $300 it wasn’t in my financial vocabulary. Not then, anyway. I pocketed the card and we made our way back out to the sidewalk. Ever since that fateful day in May I’ve thought fondly of the scent, and that moment, and the promise of spring, and it’s remained in my memory.

Having haunted me for all this time, the scent has remained elusive due to my own design. I’ve resisted procuring samples because I didn’t want to alter the memory in the event that I one day did find a way to purchase a bottle. Fragrance is a powerful memory trigger, far more effective than song or sight. I did some reading up on ‘Straight to Heaven’. (When things are out of reach, financially or otherwise, I find solace in researching and reading about them.) A rum-based spicy member of the woody family, the literature attributed its complexity to patchouli, dried fruits and nutmeg, along with notes of musk, cedar, amber and vanilla. Once again, something that sounded hideous on paper (more like a recipe for a dish I would never make) turned into something wondrous when it reached the skin.

When Sephora finally featured it on their website, I quickly dug out the gift certificate that Andy had presented on Valentine’s Day and used it to pay for a portion of a bottle. I’ve been in need of a fragrant jolt, something special to kick off a spring season that seems determined to stay on the snowy side of things. ‘Straight to Heaven’ bridges that gap beautifully. It opens with the aforementioned blast of rum, and all the other ingredients conspire to make an initially-questionable cacophony of sensation. One is unsure whether to sniff, feast, swallow or run from the thing. Relax and let it play out, or get riled up and upset because the relief and the dry-down will be even better; there’s a reason the bitter is designed to go with the sweet.

I’d forgotten how powerful the opening was, as well as how quickly it dissipated, so I went with the roller coaster until it evened out. And then it was absolute heaven. Maybe the name wasn’t so silly after all. A sophisticated woody scent soon emerges, with just enough spicy sweetness to balance the dry heart of the cedar. The fragrance remained semi-prominent for only about five hours, slightly disappointing given the enormous price point, but this is a scent designed for intimacy, not screaming and shouting. It pounds on the door and arrives in an over-the-top party outfit, but then wants nothing more than to sit in a quiet corner and be worshipped by the few super-select deemed worthy.

In other words, it’s a scent after my own heart.

“What is most intimate is what will speak to others. Perfumers build the labyrinth in which we lose ourselves out of all those secret harmonies and connections. They bring out its beauty: reinvent it so that it can be felt by all.” – Denyse Beaulieu, ‘The Perfume Lover’

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Summer, Buried

I love the way freshly-fallen snow looks on certain things: trees, barren ground, fallen grasses, or faded fences. I’m less thrilled when it covers those items that are typically part of the summer scene: flower pots, pool ladders, or garden tools. Then it just makes me sad. As long as there is snow on these things summer will stay well away.

There’s a certain poetic sadness to this, something that rings of a ‘Grey Gardens’ sort of forgetfulness. Time moves on, covering and uncovering our lives, slowly taking its toll on all of us, irrevocably moving in the only direction it knows: toward decimation and ruin. Nothing gold can stay.

On the flip side, nothing frozen can stay either, not in these parts. Soon enough we will be complaining about heat and humidity, stinging mosquitoes and picnic-crashing flies. All those things sound like heaven right now…

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A Bastardized Risotto

It began with a little poll I posted on Facebook and Twitter:

Risotto in a slow cooker: blasphemy or brilliance?

On Twitter, 47% said it was blasphemy, 53% felt it was brilliance. The results on Facebook were almost diametrically opposite, with the majority considering it sheer blasphemy and extolling the stirring (and wine-sipping) process as an integral part of the whole experience. For the most part, though, it was a pretty even split. The only thing left to do was to try it for myself. I’ve only made risotto in the traditional manner a couple of times, and it was an exhausting, sweaty, and rather stressful experience, wine-sipping be damned. My arm was tired, my outfit was ruined, and it still wasn’t all that. If even a slight approximation could be achieved in a slow cooker, I’d consider it a success.

The initial prep work is similar. In a large frying pan, I sautéed two chopped shallots and a chopped bulb of fennel in ¼ cup oil. (The recipe called for basil oil, but all we had on hand was a wild mushroom and sage oil, so I used that and it worked wonderfully.) After they were soft and translucent, I veered slightly from the listed process and added 1 ½ cups of Arborio rice directly to this, coating the rice and listening for the tell-tale crackle (if you need your aural fix of rice pops, get it now). After the rice was heated and coated with the oil, I added about ¼ cup dry white wine (a Pinot Grigio) and let the rice take some of that in. I poured the whole mixture into the slow cooker and added two tablespoons of butter, stirring it around and coating the rice again. To this I added 4 cups of chicken broth (heated to boiling in the microwave) and another ¼ cup of wine. Then I set it on High for two hours. [Don’t stop reading at this point to run off and make it work – there’s a major caveat coming up.]

Since stirring was of paramount importance in the traditional method of preparation, I did stir the mixture about once every twenty minutes, and this turned out to be a blessing. A little over an hour after it had begun cooking, I went in for another stir and found the rice had soaked up the majority of the liquid and was dangerously close to being done. I sampled it and it was almost perfect – still firm and intact, but not the least bit chalky or overly chewy. I’d caught it just in time. I turned the slow cooker off just as it was going to the dry side. I added a few more tablespoons of the warm stock and wine mixture and stirred it in, along with some freshly-grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.

It held until company arrived half-an-hour later, at which point we quickly served it up as an appetizer because it simply wouldn’t wait. That tricky timing issue is one reason I don’t do risotto for guests, but the ease of this slow cooker method may mean it’s on our personal dining schedule a bit more often.

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Snow-be-gone

It’s time for this to be over.

It’s officially spring.

It started two days ago in fact, so this needs to go.

Like, yesterday.

I don’t care how pretty it is.

There’s a time and a place for everything.

This has overstayed its welcome.

 

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Loved ‘Love, Simon’

A bit of an antidote to the exquisite pathos of ‘Call Me by Your Name’, the gay-teen-rom-dramedy ‘Love, Simon’ is just what the world needs now. Skip and I saw it the other night and were more impressed than either of us expected to be. (Here come a couple of semi-spoilers, so caution should be taken by those who like to watch their movies completely untainted.)

The movie concerns the coming-out process and romantic overtures of title character Simon, a typical teenager who lives in a stylishly-atypical house of suburban perfection. (I mean, this kid gets a bedroom with a balcony.) He is eventually outed by someone, and his anger at one point is directed mostly at the fact that he was robbed of getting to do it in his own way and time. This is an interesting twist, and a testament to the progress we have made over the last decade or two.

In my teenage years, most of us didn’t see coming out as something we wanted to do. It wasn’t a rite of passage that was glorified or revered, and it certainly wasn’t something that we viewed as an honor that belonged only to us. At least I don’t remember it as such. To see a character, whether intended or not, who has enough pride and sense to know that a gay person’s coming-out is indeed a badge of honor is refreshing. To see him come into his own and claim that must be an empowering scene for someone struggling with their own journey.

My only half-issue with the movie (as it was in ‘Call Me By Your Name’) was the utter perfection of how the parents behaved. True, there was a slight pause in how they completely accepted the pronouncement, perhaps a couple of days of awkwardly not addressing the issue, but then they fell into the current cinematic formula of being absolutely and unconditionally loving.

That’s not how it always goes, not in my experience anyway, and not in the experience of many kids, even today. Perhaps it’s because I’m one of the older gays now, and my coming out was in a pre-internet world where there wasn’t support to be found on a phone or a computer. Some of us never got that instant and unconditional acceptance and love when we finally risked coming out to our parents. It’s not always a day or two before parents come around and tearfully embrace their gay kids – sometimes it takes months, years even, and in that time the hesitation and coldness that results, coming from the two people who are supposed to love you no matter what, can be devastating and debilitating for someone who is already terrified of how the rest of the world will react.

Maybe, I hope, it’s different for most kids today. I pray that it is. But that reality is not as common or prominent as it needs to be. So to that end, I suppose the perfect parents in ‘Love, Simon’ serve a purpose – an aspirational model of how to be better, for all of us to strive to achieve.

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A Cold March Monday Recap

Keeping with the lighter touch of late, this recap will have to suffice for the whole day – and a few more after it. New posts will resume on Thursday – and they’re going to be good! Until then, why not take another look at all the fun stuff that happened in the past week…

It all  began on the day that Skip turned 40.

There was more snow, when it was the last thing any of us wanted. 

The world championships of Hunkdom, in one spectacular pairing

When winter weeps, things get beautiful. 

An Irish meal fit for a leprechaun

An Irish tune fit for a forest stroll

Lighter days ahead in service of a new project. 

Adam Levine celebrated his birthday in these birthday suit GIFs

Hunks of the Day included Tomasz Schafernaker, Fredrik Eklund, Thomas Brady and AJ Pritchard

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Adam Levine: The Naked GIFs that keep on giving

In honor of his birthday today, here are a few celebratory GIFs of Adam Levine in his birthday suit (and varying states of shirtlessness). Mr. Levine hasn’t been featured here in a while, but he has a storied tradition of disrobing in cheeky form as can be seen in posts like this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or his very first Hunk of the Day crowning

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Some Days Will Be Light Days

As top secret work continues on a new project, you may notice that posts are lighter and more scant than usual. I make no apologies for this. We each must do what feeds the heart. At the brutal end of a winter that sees no end in sight, a new project has become my lifeblood and purpose, and I’m thrilled at this one. Because of such work, however, I will not be able to post as much as I usually do. 

Here, you can see what a project takes out of me, and when you peruse the few that are currently up here, may you find it in your own heart to forgive my absences. 

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Where The Land Is Green

Verdant slopes stretched out for as far as the eye could see, dotted with lakes and streams and all sorts of natural sparkle. Winds careened through the high perch on which I found myself, lying upside down and kissing the Blarney Stone as some Irish brogue held onto my legs so I didn’t tumble to the ground far below. A quick peck, that’s all I gave, but it was enough. The gift of eloquence had been bestowed. 

I stood up, righting my vision and stance, and looked back over the land. Lush and green, it calmed and quieted the most tumultuous heart. My coat flew around me – long, black and flowing, it shrouded and cloaked like a living shadow. I walked down the tiny spiraling staircase etched roughly in stone. Peace and paradise. 

A song comes to mind, one that would have done well for that moment so many years ago. Can one insert a song into a memory that has already been made? I’m not sure. We shall attempt it. 

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A Meal Fit for a Leprechaun

I’m told that corned beef and cabbage is a traditional St. Patrick’s Day dish, but I don’t like being traditional so I had this a few weeks ahead of schedule. (People scoffed at the notion of having it outside the safe window of St. Paddy’s Day because no one likes anyone to move into uncharted territory. Not even by a few days.) Too damn bad, I say. And I ate this like a beast. (Extra flavor bonus courtesy of this insanely-good Maine Crafty Ale Mustard, courtesy of Stonewall Kitchen.)

A few mistakes were made in this virgin voyage into corned beef territory. The first and most important lesson I learned, sadly a little too late, was that there’s no need for additional salt in a corned beef dish. Whoopsie daisy. (I’m still bloated.) The second, not as egregious mistake, was adding all the cabbage and potatoes and carrots into the slow cooker at the same time. According to the Martha Stewart recipe I used, the cabbage should be save for the latter part of the cooking process. This was not so bad – I cooked it all to the point that it all kind of blended together in the end. This is not a terribly-refined sort of dish. There’s room for roughness, space for spillover.

There was barely enough for a sandwich the next day – which is the third lesson I learned: the original size is going to shrink down quite a bit, so err on the side of more rather than less when picking out a cut (and go for the flat cut instead of the point – unless you like things really fatty). A next-day sandwich is the best part of this whole deal. The meat is tender enough to melt into whatever you use it for – added to some rye bread, a healthy layer of Thousand Island dressing, and some sauerkraut (used sparingly), it made for a fantastic meal.

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Weeping Winter

Even at this late stage of my gardening game, there are still ample opportunities for surprises. It’s what keeps gardening so interesting for me. After three decades of my hands in the dirt, there is still so much more to learn and discover. Take this weeping larch, for instance. I thought for sure it had three seasons of beauty to offer (and that in itself is two seasons more than most plants) but it turns out it has a full four, as evidenced here.

In the spring, it is a gorgeous bright green, its leaves (deceptively shaped and structured like an evergreen tree) are soft and supple, and as its foliage fills out, the radial form bursts like verdant fire blossoms. By summer, it matures into a slightly deeper green with a tinge of silver to lend it coolness on the hottest days, and by fall it sets itself on fire in a rich amber glow that ripens to the edge of rust.

Somehow, in all this time, I’ve managed to miss the magic of a sticky snowfall that clings to its architectural form, clumping like Christmas ornaments on the weeping strands of bark and stem. I stumbled upon it the other day when taking pictures of the latest storm in the backyard.

I live for beauty that takes one by surprise – an unexpected delight at the end of winter.

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The Bromance of Harry & Justin

I love seeing the world come together like this, and with our own country temporarily rudderless, we look to the cute reps for Canada and England to lead us into hunkdom, and a happier day. Justin Trudeau and Prince Harry make a very fetching couple of blokes. I’m assuming that Mr. Trudeau will be granted an invitation to Harry’s upcoming nuptials. (Still awaiting my invite… ahem.) 

Each of these gentlemen has been featured here previously: Justin in this Hunk of the Day honor, and Harry in spreads like this one. Together, they create one uber-bromance. 

 

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Beneath the White Dress…

…of snow there lies

cradled in the crunchy crystals of water

frozen for the moment but waiting for the warmth

sprouts of green,

slightly tattered and torn

slightly battered and born

perhaps too soon

but when those days of warmth

sneak into February and turn the world upside down

one must jump at the chance

and if it’s too early

and they give up their first leaves to the inevitable crown of snow

such valor has not gone unnoticed

immortalized on this page

as far removed from the natural state

as a spring sprout could be

and here

may it remain.

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The Day Skip Turned 40

Turning 40 is a big deal for most people (present company excluded), but I have a feeling that my friend Skip is going to sail through it without issue, as he tends to be more pragmatic and sensible about such arbitrary matters. Since today is his 40th birthday, I’m breaking with the usual black-out posting schedule for Tuesday and putting this up so he gets the honor that he is due.

To the best of my memory skills (which deteriorate by the minute) the first time we met was at my Venetian Vanity Ball – the holiday party we were throwing that year. I’d only heard about him from his then-girlfriend Sherri, but I trusted her judgment implicitly and figured he was a good guy. (Good people bring other good people into our lives.) Most of our co-workers who knew him said the same thing.

I greeted many friends that night, old and new, but only Skip’s introduction sticks out in my memory, which is slightly strange because it was so long ago – 2005 to be exact. At the time I had dark red hair (to match a dark-red Venetian-inspired ensemble) and Skip had, well, more hair (which he mostly kept hidden under a dapper cap). I sensed he had done his best to dress for the occasion, and anyone who makes such an effort gets my respect. We spoke a bit, but like so many other things I can’t recall anything earth-shattering or specific. It would take a while before we became friends, which is usually how the best friendships come to be.

Over a dozen years have passed since that first meeting, and in the way that destiny often designs it our friendship grew organically. He completely set up and designed this website as it now stands, bringing his web-building expertise to my utter lack of HTML knowledge, and after a few power meetings at our respective houses, one of us suggested we check out a movie at some point. The rest is happy history. By now, I’ve probably gone on more movie man-dates with Skip than with my own husband, and while it began with a shared love of cinema, it’s turned into something more.

I’ve never had many straight-guy friends, and at that point in my life I didn’t have the energy or desire to make new ones, but once in a while someone comes along who is supposed to be part of your journey, and if they seem to value you in return, so much the better. Soon our movies included a pre-game cocktail (and my introduction to the World of Beer) over which we’d discuss what had been happening in our lives since the last night out.

Far more than flattery or awe or simple admiration, Skip offered something that I don’t often feel I get from many people, friends and family included: a complete lack of judgment and an apparent enjoyment of my company. You cannot know the relief and exultant joy it is to be around that when the entire world seems hellbent on judging and appraising your every single move, to say nothing of how badly we judge and appraise ourselves. He also liked to talk, which is a nice break when you spend most days explaining things twenty thousand times to the same few people. Skip offered wisdom and a philosophical slant on life as it should be, and he showed me new ways of looking at things that I never would have considered otherwise. We were a good sounding board for each other, and on those movie nights we could escape from our daily lives and be, for a few hours at least, completely free of baggage, of worrying about whether what we say might be misconstrued. I could even wear sweatpants and he wouldn’t even notice.

Since that holiday party evening when we met almost thirteen years ago, we’ve expanded our hang-out time to include an annual outing to see the Boston Red Sox (check out last year’s side-spitting event here and here) and there are persistent, dogged and wildly-unfounded rumors of a possible podcast for some vaguely uncertain future date. In all our time together, there are a few things that have never changed, and I hope they never do: I’ll always ask if there is a new decaf soda at the concessions stand, Skip will always offer to play his memorization game with any game bartender, and we will always recount the tale of Thor to anyone who will listen.

There’s not much we can count on in these dark days, but the safety and comfort of true friendship continues to give me hope.

Happy birthday Skip – and many happy returns of the day!

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A Recap and One To Grow On…

We mourn the loss of an hour this past weekend, but we are picking up the pieces and moving on with some extra light later in the day. The ‘one to grow on’ portion of this post refers to a bonus post coming tomorrow – so be sure to come back for that, especially if your name is Skip and you’re turning 40. Onto the last week…

It began with a reminder that winter is still in full-effect

This snowy owl found a perch on which to roll with the winter storms. 

Our annual Mother’s Day weekend in New York is coming together nicely. 

Chinatown, at night. 

A big-ass collection of salacious and gratuitous links with lots of male nudity. 

Share and Cher alike

Adam Rippon began to bare his ripped body

 

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