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Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Winter Arrives, Sanity Departs

Welcome back, old friend.

I can say that, right? I mean, I may consider you a friend?

You’ve done this 42 times with me, and for 43 I expect more of the same.

Your drama. Your annoyance. Your cruelty.

In so many ways, we are so alike.

Neither of us wants to own that.

We’d rather pretend we are nothing but pretty.

Innocent and pure and pristine perfection.

But underneath the murkiness runs thick.

We will shed our snow-white veneer and reveal our rich, muddy countenance of life when it’s time to depart for another year. We’re not there yet. No, we’ve only just begun. There’s a long road ahead. That’s how you like it – with your evergreen décor, your dried grasses swaying in the wind, and your insatiable desire to wreak havoc with the sky. You open big – with the shortest day of the year – but you start receding as soon as you appear. The days will only get longer until it’s summer again.

Only then will I forgive you.

It’s what friends do.

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

Many work days consist mostly of inadvertently recreating John Krasinski’s reaction shots from ‘The Office’ – and I never even watched ‘The Office’.

#TinyThreads

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The Last of the Fall

With all of the Christmas and holiday mayhem, it’s easy to forget that it’s still technically fall. Not for long, though, as the calendar finally moves us into winter tomorrow. While I’m loathe to begin the snowy season, we can’t finish until we start, so let’s just do this and be done with it. As for fall – the ending is so very different from the beginning that it’s worth a look back at how far we’ve come.

It began in September, when we returned from a summer break. It always takes a few posts to get back into the fall swing of things, so I swung away.

Fall is… a Tuesday morning

It’s when we get back into the high heels.

September finale

A family wedding

Fountain falling

Autumnal Madonna.

Ghapama feast

Falling for a new project

An autumn mist

Fall accessories

Falling into underwear.

A fall fragrance, not by Tom Ford. 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel and I’ll post more.

Edge of fall.

An almost-annual fall fun-fest

Decadent autumn stance

Ben Cohen readied his new calendar.

Fall creation

Dreaming of fall.

Fall can be perverted

Wait for it…

123456

Smudge it out

The premiere of PVRTD.

Fall is for family

And finding peace.

And remembering

Remember November

December is mostly fall too

Structure of a holiday

A fall cocktail, verging on winter. 

When fall gets festive.

A Christmas tree falls.

Heart at the end of fall.

Fall at 15.

 

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

I do so love an overture, even though it seems to be in danger of getting lost. I suppose that has its good and bad points. People are late enough – an overture might just be another reason for people to push their arrival time further out. The world turns…

{Here’s one of the greatest overtures ever written, far better than its accompanying show: ‘Candide.’}

#TinyThreads 

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Secret Russian Christmas Tea

The colorful mix was gorgeously displayed in a mason jar, wrapped in a Christmas ribbon, and its crystals swirled like works of sand art. The color was a vibrant orange – almost matching a circus peanut in intensity and hue. Peppered throughout were darker layers of tea and spices, and the whole thing carried an exotic air of mysterious, far-away lands. Treasure like this was surely smuggled and secret, sold in questionable shadows for crazy sums of money. Somehow, every year around Christmas, we came into a jar of it, and we would sparingly measure out spoonfuls of it into hot water for cups of tea that would see us through the wicked winter.

As with so many “exotic” memories of childhood, the reality would prove much more humble (see also ‘Green Beans Exotic’ as made with Velveeta). This ‘Russian’ tea mix was made mostly from… wait for it… Tang.

Yup. Years later, I discovered its genesis when Suzie presented a collection of classic Ko holiday recipes. There was the Russian tea, and the first ingredient was Tang – a good 2 cups of it – followed by instant tea mix. The rare recipe to which I’d attributed such a storied tale found its origin in some astronaut juice that peaked in the 70’s and 80’s. Still, nostalgia is a powerful thing, so when I found the recipe again I decided to give it a modern-day whirl to see how it stood up to the memory and time.

It turns out they still make Tang – in the powdered drink section of the supermarket no less (though you may have to dust it off, as I did). When I was checking out the cashier commented that he hadn’t seen Tang in years. To combat such a relic, I switched in some Chai for the instant tea, added the requisite all-spice, ground cloves and cinnamon, then swirled it together as puffs of Tang dust filled the air. I funneled it all into a glass jar as a gift for Suzie, then stole a couple of spoonfuls just to try it.

It was just as I remembered it.

All that’s missing now is a jar of Turkey Joints.

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

Regarding your Ugly Christmas Sweater: it’s the ‘Christmas’ that sets it apart from your other sweaters, right?

#TinyThreads

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Christmas Cinema

Now accepting recommendations for holiday movies. Here’s my current list, which runs the gamut:

Some of these I watch faithfully every year, some of them I only visit once in a great while. I’m always looking for new suggestions. (You’ll also notice a few glaring omissions, so if you have a compelling reason for me to revisit ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ or ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ I’m open to hearing it.) 

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

It’s almost soup season. My first will be a split pea soup using the hambone from dinner a few nights ago.  What is your poison?

#TinyThreads

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As the Holidays Swell, a Recap

Having just returned from a Boston Children’s Holiday Weekend, my brain and body are equally tired, so before I go into that happy story let’s have a quick recap of the week before. 

Every once in a while I get a hankering for one of these

This year’s Christmas tree came from our own front yard. 

Holiday revenge or redemption, and what exactly is the difference?

Where beauty meets function, and you meet a perfect holiday gift idea

The wonder of a Christmas tree, even after all these years. 

Harsh Christmas reality check

Holiday levity.

The 4th Annual Boston Children’s Holiday Hour took place… more on that later. 

Fifteen years of ALANILAGAN.com, and fifteen favorite posts

Midnight magic

A nude attitude.

Justin Hartley naked, preparing for his stripping Santa scene. 

These #TinyThreads are on the verge of breaking. 

Holiday hunks included Jason Momoa, Don Lemon and Sam Tsui.

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A Stripping Santa: Justin Hartley

Justin Hartley has already been named a Hunk of the Day here – and not just once, but twice. That puts him directly in line for the coveted and rare three-time HOD. This isn’t quite that post, rather a holder with a stripping Santa theme for the season. Taken mostly from his naked romp in ‘A Bad Moms Christmas’ these GIFs should keep things merry and bright. It’s important to keep the twig and berries properly maintained. Manscaping matters

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

What is the point of desiccating perfectly good fruit in the sun? I’m talking to you, raisins and sun-dried tomatoes. You gag me.

#TinyThreads

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Shades of Nude

For the longest time I fought against the fashion notion of nudes. The shade I mean (obviously, as I have no issue with nudity – my own or anyone else’s for that matter). In fact, nakedness has always been celebrated here. But for fashion choices, the palette of nudes that has been so popular in recent years has always seemed a little dull and safe for my taste.

The only way to combat that is to add a little Tom Ford label (his underwear collection incorporates various nude shades) and some sequins and ostrich feathers. If you must drape yourself in nudes, you might as well sparkle and float in the air. The hint of the outfit here will give you an idea of how I’m planning on hosting this weekend’s Children’s Holiday Hour in Boston. Just because they’re kids doesn’t mean they don’t deserve something fabulous.

I’ll wear it again for a more low-key gathering this season. With accents of rose gold, even I can work a nude attitude.

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Midnight Crux

On the border of the midpoint of the month, this midnight marks the halfway-demarcation of December. We have not yet begun winter officially, which is a bit of a drag. How can we get to the end when we haven’t even started yet? Not to worry, in less than a week we will be there, the beginning of that cold and barren stretch of time where we mark the days and hunker down in bundled-up misery. Andy and I will become even more home-bound, filling the weekends with the cooking of soups and comfort food, the dishes that take hours to slowly braise, inviting friends and family over to join, or simply enjoying the quiet snow-bound hours with ourselves. Winter must be handled delicately. Mind over matter.

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15 Years & 15 Favorite Posts

In honor of this website’s fifteenth anniversary, Skip suggested I do a ’15 Best Posts’ collection highlighting what I’ve created here. While the archives only go back to 2010 (I hated keeping extra posts around and would simply delete them all and start over every year for the first decade or so – oops!) there have been some decent and worthy entries in the last few years to make this compilation possible. I don’t know if I’d call them the best – ‘favorite’ might be a better term – but everyone loves a simple superlative, so for Skip’s sake here are the Top 15, in no particular order:

  1. Drowned WorldIt’s impossible for me to choose my favorite Madonna Timeline – how do you choose a favorite child? And among such sparkling jewels as ‘Vogue,’ ‘Like A Prayer,’ ‘Express Yourself,’ ‘Ray of Light,’ ‘Live to Tell,’ ‘Crazy For You,’ ‘Erotica,’ ‘Survival,’ ‘Music‘ and ‘Rebel Heart‘ it was difficult finding the one single emblematic song to represent my life-long love affair with Madonna. The entry for ‘Drowned World: Substitute for Love‘ may come closest.
  2. Twisted Sleighride ~ Since we’re in the season, this Christmas-tinged memory is a happy childhood memory, even with its undercurrent of winter mystery.
  3. Heart of Sequins ~ From a very young age I knew I was different. A few others saw it as well and celebrated who I was before I even realized it.
  4. Why I Get Naked Here ~ The title says it, even if I’ve toned down those skin-baring ways.(After years of indulgence and gym-avoidance, it’s better to let the male celebrities get naked and nude for the time being.)
  5. Moon and FagWhile matriculating at Brandeis, I thought I made a new friend. Until he said the f-word.
  6. The First Time I Kissed A Guy ~Bittersweet and brutal, you never forget your first.
  7. Straight Ally Profile: Skip Montross ~ Kicking off a limited-series of Straight Allies, this profile of my friend Skip marked my Reddit debut, portraying the many levels of a gay guy/straight guy friendship.
  8. Gay Couple Profile ~Two photographs taken years apart sparked this sweet telling of one fine romance.
  9. Lessons in Painting ~ Chronicling my first few days transforming the Boston condo with the help of my favorite Uncle. 
  10. A Secret Kept for Two Decades ~ The secret I held in silence for too long. 
  11. Saddle Shoes and Shame ~ Once upon a time I was not so brave in wearing whatever I wanted. 
  12. Remembering the Art in a Hot Shower ~ Memories of a seventh grade art class come flooding back in the warmth of a hot shower. 
  13. The End of My Delusions ~ The grand finale to ‘The Delusional Grandeur Tour,’ this relatively-simple post encapsulates that long-winding journey. 
  14. A Summer Break ~ The first summer I took off from blogging began with this ending. Of course I came back as promised, but I definitely missed it. 
  15. A New Year ~ Last but not least, this was the start of our 15th year of ALANILAGAN.com. 

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Nine Children & Nine Adults

Today marks this year’s Boston Children’s Holiday Hour, and it looks to be one of the largest we’ve ever thrown, with eighteen people cramming into the two-room condo (one room of which will be off-limits ever since a knocked-over candle wax mishap – karma for my brother and I spilling a candle-lit potpourri pot at the Ko house as kids). That means eighteen people in one room and a mini-kitchen. It will work. It has to. I’m not sure about the clean-up, but Suzie won’t leave me high and dry, especially since the sink will be filled with water as it doesn’t quite drain properly. Ahh, mayhem at the holidays

Other than the larger influx of my favorite people, the event will pretty much remain the same: families are encouraged to explore Boston for the first part of the day, and when that magical siesta hour approaches (3 PM or thereabouts) they’re welcome to stop in for some hot chocolate and marshmallows, mulled wine (Christmas-in-a-glass), and general merry-making. To make dinner plans easier, we’ll either order a pizza and/or send the festive troops on their way. The company is what makes this holiday hour(s) so fun, and since I haven’t seen some of these wonderful folks in a couple of years, it’s going to be a grand reunion. They will be coming in from all over: Albany, Detroit, Washington, Syracuse – and even South Africa. I hope Boston can handle all the bonhomie.

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