Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Happy May Recap

It’s my favorite time of the year, and my favorite month. That said, most of life is taking place off-screen and off-line. If you’ll excuse me, check out the last week and come back for the New York adventures with my Mom over Mother’s Day weekend…

It began with a look back at the Ilagan twins and their recent 8th birthday dinner. They are growing up way too fast, so it’s helpful to pause and freeze the frame

The rest of the week was mostly concerned with our wedding anniversary weekend in Boston

Andy’s favorite cocktail.

A solitary walk.

The traditional washing of the rings

Boston was beautiful and in bloom

Dinner and a show.

A happy finish to the weekend.

In case you want to do it all over again.

Missing hunks.

Our lone Hunk of the Day this week: Sam Morris

Make way for Skip.

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{Save this Space for Skip}

If there’s anyone who should have his own blog/podcast/documentary/Lifetime-movie, it’s my friend Skip. He’s made a number of splashes in this space, notably in the first Straight Ally Profile and later in this epic Guest Blog post. For the past decade or so, he’s been my main movie man-date, and with some upcoming projects in the works, he’ll hopefully be returning to this site before we break for the summer. (Let this be a gentle nudge for that long-awaited post, in my gently demanding way.) There’s also our fourth annual BroSox adventure coming up, and we’ll be brainstorming ideas on how to harness that fun for this place… Stay tuned. 

 

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Boston Anniversary Recap 2018

The first lilac one sniffs in spring brings back the rush of all the lilacs you’ve smelled before. It signals the memory power of scent, going back all the way to childhood, to happiness, to innocence. On our first day in Boston, we inhaled the sweet perfume and were reminded of all our Maine visits, all our springs opening the pool, all our youthful hopes and promises. It was a perfect marker for the weekend, and this is the perfect time to encapsulate it all in one convenient link-filled post:

Boston Anniversary with Andy~ Part 1

Boston Anniversary with Andy ~ Part 2

Boston Anniversary with Andy ~ Part 3

Boston Anniversary with Andy ~ Part 4

Boston Anniversary with Andy ~ Part 5

Boston Anniversary with Andy ~ Part 6

Boston Anniversary with Andy ~ Part 7

As for the lilacs, ours will be in the midst of their own show soon enough. Now we have one more lilac memory to add to the gorgeous tapestry already in our hearts.

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 7

The clouds started to roll in a little on Sunday morning, but we would somehow escape the rain until we departed. Once in a while the universe smiles like that. We slept in ~ a rare indulgence these days when the late start to the season has me scrambling on most weekends. Our reservations at the Bristol Lounge weren’t until noon, so we took our time getting up. There is luxury in simply lying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning.

There is luxury in a brunch at the Four Seasons too, and since that’s where we were headed we mustered the fortitude to face the day and carry on. Andy ordered an Uber and I documented the whole thing per request.

After 18 years, I’m finally starting to understand what sets Andy’s mind at ease while traveling: a good hotel (preferably with a suite) and a decent car to get us around. Coffee for waking and Cole Porter for listening. On this trip, three out of four isn’t bad.

For the occasion of our anniversary brunch, I opted for the same cologne I wore for our wedding day: ‘Green Irish Tweed’ by Creed. It’s a very special scent, a birthday gift from Andy, and I only wear it for our anniversary (I want it to last for life, and it’s a small bottle). I paired it with this silk scarf, which complemented my infamous jacket.

While we usually go for a low-key lunch (the Bristol burger is renowned for good reason), on Sunday there is only a brunch option, so we splurged for the decadent buffet feast (and I filled plates like the one you see below so many times I lost count).

After such gluttony it’s best to walk some of it off, and since the rain was holding off we went across the street and back to the Boston Public Garden.

One of the swans was swimming then, and we rounded the pond to find its rump in the air as it sought its meal. Echoed by an advancing swan boat, the real and the reproduced floated by one another in whimsical fashion while a stray duck photobombed the scene.

Around us the garden was in bloom. Sweet apple blossoms scented the breeze as white petals floated gently down to the ground, gathering like freshly-fallen snow. We made our way out just as more clouds rolled in.

We took our time getting back, as much from our full stomachs as by a reluctance to end the idyllic weekend. Everything is slower on Sunday. I wanted to extend it all and stay away from the real-world concerns and obligations that waited in New York. Consolation is found in the thought of returning in the summer. The beds will be changed then ~ filled with tropical foliage and perhaps the flaming flowers of canna or begonias. There will be another show to see, another restaurant to try, and another weekend of escape. Until then, there will be these memories.

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 6

As we neared the end of our Public Garden stroll, we came across the gentleman who had provided the enchanting bit of ehru music on our wedding day, and can often be found here on gorgeous days. Some aspects of the day you don’t even realize you miss until they show up later than expected. The occidental tune added to the beauty around us and we slowly withdrew from the garden. We shall return in the summer.

Taking Boylston back toward the condo for the afternoon siesta, we ducked into the Lenox Hotel, where we spent my 40thbirthday in the Judy Garland suite. A gold lion sentinel stood guard outside, while inside the lobby the couch beckoned for us to sit down. More lions, of the stuffed animal variety, lined the wall. Perhaps we’ll return to that suite someday…

In the meantime, we made do with the condo, once again resplendent in the afternoon light. A quick nap and change of clothes, and then it was time for dinner.

In what used to be the location of Sibling Rivalry, we were early enough to get an outdoor table at Barcelona, right next door to the Boston Center for the Arts (where we had tickets for ‘Love! Valour! Compassion!).

The meal was all right, marred slightly by some service issues, but you can find those details in my TripAdvisor entries. 

After the lackluster drinks and dinner at Barcelona, we returned to a restaurant that has always done a solid pour: Aquitaine. Next year we should probably just make an anniversary reservation here, as we somehow manage to find our way to the chic bar for their delicious cocktail listing. It was the perfect pre-theater moment.

After the show, we walked off the dinners of the previous two nights, meandering beneath the street-lamp-lit blooms of the cherry trees. A joyous ending to a joyous day…

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 5

Eight years ago our wedding ceremony took place in a quiet, verdant stretch of the Boston Public Garden, where three young cherry trees formed a little triangle, and an elderly Kwanzan and Metasequoia tree rose to form a majestic backdrop. Beyond them the walking bridge over the swan pond elegantly connected both sides of the water. Today, the sun matched the majesty of that original day as Andy and I made our way into the garden.

Ducks and geese swam in the water, while squirrels jumped and hopped on land. Little birds swooped in and chirped from their tree perches. It was an idyllic scene.

This remains one of my favorite places in the world. No matter what else is going on in the city, and to a larger extent in the world, I always find a sense of peace here. Whether it’s during the glory of spring, the ripen full greenery of summer, the fiery last show of fall, or the delicate slumber of winter, there is always a hushed sense of reverence and contentment here. It is here in the pretty flowering of the cherry trees, the gentle curves of the Japanese pagoda, or the graceful neck of a swan.

Today there was noise and celebration too, as spring had overtaken the space in a riotous collection of bursting tulips and excited tourists. Vivid reds and cheery yellows lit up the beds (usually we are just at the end of their show, but this year they waited for us). Setting off fireworks against their green surroundings and a bright blue sky, they shouted happy greetings to all who passed.

We walked along the edge of the pond, saw a boisterous goose chase another out of the way, said hello to a friendly squirrel, then crossed the walking bridge, pausing in the middle in the same spot we posed on our wedding day.

Two swans nested beside the pond beneath us. We watched their quiet repose before continuing on our way…

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 4

We walked through the glorious morning and made a couple of fragrance stops of Neiman Marcus and Barneys. Disappointingly, the Copley Square Neiman Marcus had stopped stocking Diana Vreeland Parfums, leaving me at a loss to try one of their latest, ‘Wildly Attractive’, which was really our sole reason for being in that store. Moving on to Barneys, I found the delicious ‘Cologne Indelibile’ under the Frederic Malle label and was instantly under its spell. A perfect accompaniment to Tom Ford’s ‘Neroli Portofino’ but slightly longer-lasting, it will be this summer’s signature scent ~ all lemon and bergamot and orange blossom glory.

From there, we walked along Newbury Street toward the Boston Public Garden. Ever since we’ve been married, we stop by Shreve, Crump and Low, where we got our wedding rings, to have them washed. It’s a tradition, and one of my favorites. There’s something formal and ritualistic about it ~ it reminds me of that day eight years ago when we made our commitment to each other official. It’s a lovely reminder of all that we vowed and promised. And it’s a lovely thing that only Andy and I share, something I have with no one else.

While we wait, there are always other things to peruse ~ like Burmese rubies and Pink sapphires. Of course, there are things that appeal to Andy as well; he has been wanting a watch from Shreve, Crump and Low ever since we got our wedding rings. And if I’d started saving up all those years ago, I still would be nowhere close to the $17,000 price tag on his preferred time piece. Still, it’s nice to look, and the friendly salespeople were more than happy to snare a couple celebrating their anniversary and bring them up a flight of stairs to their watch showroom.

Incredulous at what they must have thought was in our wallets, I whispered to Andy in disbelief, “Do these people actually think we can afford these watches??” I had just looked at a $27,000 rose gold hot pink model studded with pink sapphires or something. Fortunately, my poker face is good, and I nonchalantly moved on to the next price point as if he were talking about 27,000 blades of grass. One day, post-lottery, I’ll find a way to get Andy one of these time pieces. But that day is not yet here, and we walked out with only our sparkling rings and free smiles.

The Public Garden was ahead of us, but we took a slight detour through the Taj to see their floral display, which was rather unimpressive compared to the piles of peonies and cherry blooms that were there during our stay. We headed back into the sunshine…

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 3

Upon every anniversary weekend, echoing a moment I had on our original wedding day, I find a little nook of time in which I’m on my own. Whether it’s a quick trip to the store, a minor shopping excursion, or a simple walk when Andy is occupied elsewhere, I invariably find a pocket of solitude that makes me miss him, allowing me to appreciate his company just a little bit more. On this weekend, it was on Saturday morning. To ease the amount of walking Andy would have to do, I went to pick up breakfast at the nearby cafe. It was here where I found The Moment Alone.

Stepping out onto Braddock Park, I paused and admired the island in the middle of the street. The fountain was on and the sound of water and birds made for a lovely soundtrack. When the sun is at its earliest and latest ~ that’s when it’s most beautiful on our street. Well, much of the morning is enchanting when the sun is out, and into this scene I made my solitary way.

Cherry trees and magnolias painted pink before a blue sky, and all the beauty of the day lent my mission a magic not always apparent when running errands. I slowed my step and took my time, soaking in the glorious promise of the day. Andy would still be in the shower and there was no rush.

Overhead, flowering pears reached across the street and intertwined their branches, as if holding hands above those of us who passed beneath. (A glimmer of this magic is repeated in the immediate aftermath of a snowstorm, but it is far less appealing then.)

I made it back with our pastry (and an extra macaron for Andy) and we looked out onto the blossoming street. The Washing of the Rings was next…

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 2

Andy has never been a big drinker, but every once in a while he enjoys a good cocktail. A Bombay gin and Fevertree tonic with a lemon twist or a glass of shiraz are his usual go-to’s, but last year he tried a Hemingway daquiri at Hawthorne, and was immediately enamored of it. Since that time he’s been on the hunt for another establishment that approximated the glory of that original Hawthorne experience, but most have failed (including yours truly, who followed the online recipe to the drop but still couldn’t quite replicate the magic of that first experience).

This year, I incorporated a stop at the Hawthorne before dinner (which was conveniently right next door) so he could get his Hemingway, and while it was no longer a listed feature on their cocktail menu, they were happy to oblige with this old-fashioned cocktail classic. I opted for the ‘Swan Song’ ~ with gin, rose vermouth, honey and bitters. (We will come back this summer to try the ‘Myra Breckinridge Swizzle’ ~ it’s got absinthe, which will go beautifully with the next show.)

Next door, the Island Creek Oyster Bar was where I’d made dinner reservations. I’ve been trying to get us reservations for the past several years, but always waited until the last minute to book a weekend night and it never worked out. Happily, the wait was worth it for the oysters and calamari alone.

Sated by the dinner and drinks, we climbed into an Uber and headed home. The next day was the traditional washing of the rings and we needed our rest…

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Boston Anniversary with Andy 2018 ~ Part 1

The weather was kind to us from beginning to end. When we arrived in Boston the rain had stopped and the air was hot and humid. Andy was following the progress of the storms in Albany ~ eyeing something about a Bow-flex or Bow-echo or bow-and-arrow ~ I was just thankful to be far from the meteorological madness. The sun would smile upon us for most of our weekend, and the rain would hold off until the very last moment we were leaving. The previous few days of high heat had brought out every possible spring bloom that might have been hesitant to let go, and we arrived to a city filled with flowers at the height of their beauty.

Andy was fighting off a sore throat and fever, but he powered his way through it like a trooper. I’m grateful for that, because with all the changes that this year brings (we’ll be holding off on our annual Ogunquit trip until September) I didn’t want to forsake our anniversary tradition in Boston.

We were there, once again, at the perfect time: everything was in bloom. The daffodils were just finishing up, the tulips were in their splendor, and the apple and cherry blossoms hung from every branch. American dogwood blooms (or bracts as the case may be) fluttered like white and pink butterflies on their bare branches.

Even the vinca was throwing its small purple stars out from its glossy groundcover base. A new variety of bleeding heart, with this magnificent chartreuse foliage to set off the pink, heart-shaped blooms, was a lovely surprise along the Southwest Corridor Park.

Most thrilling for us, and we paused significantly in our various strolls to make them matter, were the lilacs. We will miss them in Maine this spring, and seeing them here was enough to conjure a new happy memory. We pulled a branch down to our noses and inhaled the signature scent of spring and the summer to come.

I’d padded our weekend with a few moments of rest, which we elongated for Andy’s recuperation. To be honest, I find myself enjoying an afternoon siesta more and more as the years go by, and in the condo, as the sun streams in from 3 PM onward, there is no better place to rest and relax.

Our anniversary weekend had begun in beautiful fashion…

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A Double Birthday – Part 3

After dinner and birthday cake, we headed back outside for a bit of play. The sun was still out and the air was beginning to warm for the season. (We had no way of knowing it would still be a few weeks before it arrived properly, and there was great joy in that ignorance.) After a winter spent mostly indoors, everyone was happy to be out and about.

Children will always find ways of entertaining themselves. Only boring people get bored.

I’m not sure what the game was, or what I was supposed to be refereeing, but I did my best.

Most games are simply an excuse to run around and exert some energy.

Those aren’t high on my to-do list, so I mostly watched and encouraged. I can be very encouraging in place of running around.

As the birthday dinner wound down, the sun gradually lowered itself in the sky. Soon it was time to go.

But this was just the very start of the fairer weather, and soon we’ll be having them over for pool days and barbecues and party sleep-overs.

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A Double Birthday – Part 2

Sometimes, particularly in cases of birthday-candle-blow-outs, the photographs say more than any collection of wordy descriptions could manage. See what these are saying without my blustery prose…

 

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A Double Birthday – Part 1

The Ilagan Twins celebrated their 8th birthday recently, and I’m just now getting around to posting the pictures from a gathering at my parents’ home. They were born at the tail-end of March, but we hadn’t been able to get together until a few weeks afterward, when the weather was only slightly better. That didn’t dampen the spirits, or the possibility of heading outside for some rambunctious fun before and after the dinner festivities.

I still remember the rainy day on which they were born. Andy and I got the call that afternoon and after work we drove to the hospital to meet our new niece and nephew. We were instantly smitten, and since that time we’ve watched and played a small part in their childhood evolution.

If we haven’t seen them in a few weeks, as was the case this time, I marvel at how much, and how quickly, they’ve changed.

They are eight now, and the days are flying by.

This is the time to catch them and make memories – just as they are starting to make ones that they will remember into adulthood. There’s something exciting in that. Dangerous too, if you’re not careful. Children will listen.

The sun stayed outside while we went in for dinner…

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A Recap on An Anniversary

We spent the weekend in Boston celebrating our anniversary, so today, the actual date of our wedding ceremony, will be rather quiet. I’ll be back at work, and Andy has a doctor’s appointment, so everything’s as if we never said good-bye. Some anniversary years are like that. We’re gearing up for our tenth in 2020, so this year and next can be on the quieter side. But not even I am ready to start planning that far ahead, so let’s take a look at the last week instead.

It began, as it ends, in Albany, NY. Whether we like it or not. 

As of yet, there are no suggestions for a local Hunk of the Day. Are there no local Hunks in the Capital Region?

Shorts for a BroSox adventure later this summer. 

Gearing up for this year’s Broadway crop.

It begins with a stay at the Warwick Hotel

The night I robbed a Wal-Mart and felt no remorse whatsoever. 

The screech of the azaleas

There were just a pair of Hunks this week: Mike Thalassitis and Diego Barros.

In case you need some home renovations of your own, here’s who we used for our kitchen: Skylands Services, Inc

Jonquils

 

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Review: ‘Love! Valour! Compassion!’ – Zeitgeist Stage Company

A year before Matthew Bourne would turn all the waterfowl of ‘Swan Lake’ into men, Terrence McNally had the guys of ‘Love! Valour! Compassion!’ unabashedly doing their plies in tights and tutus. Back then it was ahead of its time, and well over two decades later it still retains much of its verve, nerve, and sentiment. I was lucky enough to have seen that landmark Broadway production and its incomparable cast, and the shadow that it produced still lingers in my mind. It was 1995, and for some reason I insisted that both of my parents attend the play with me – a none-too-veiled yet still unspoken attempt at coming out to them. I wasn’t expecting all the words that would be uttered, nor all the full-frontal male nudity that would so flagrantly parade before our eyes, but I was brazen enough not to care, and by the end I think we were all so moved by the play that the rest of the stuff was almost beside the point.

It was reportedly McNally’s ode to the gay friends he’d had in his life, and at the time I remember feeling an intense longing for this glimpse into adult gay relationships and the varying versions of them: romantic, platonic, antagonistic, unconditional, extremely-conditional, wantonly sexual, polite, provocative, ugly and pretty. Revisiting the play all these years later as produced by the Zeitgeist Stage Company, I see it not solely as a celebration of the lives of several gay men, but as a eulogy as well – not only for those of us lost to AIDS, but for a time in our lives. A time before cel-phones, before online dating, when people looked at and spoke to each other in meaningful and discomforting directness. A time when we couldn’t hide behind computer screens or shut out the world by looking down at our text threads. Some it does feel dated (I cringed at the Donald Trump reference from when he was a joke more than a threat) but the interaction among the men, and the way they change and reveal themselves, is very much timeless.

The cozy Plaza Theatre at the Boston Center for the Arts provides a non-descript background for the minimalist scenery and effective lighting, which manage to convey the shifting scenes of summer in seemingly impossible ways, at times evoking a sprawling lake-side estate affectionately dubbed ‘Manderley’, spirited scenes of tennis and dinner and skinny-dipping, and even a road-rage-fueled car-ride. Such theatrical magic comes courtesy of director David J. Miller and the talented cadre of gentlemen he’s assembled to complete a picture-perfect ensemble.

In the original production, despite the talents of every cast member, two lights shined brightest: John Glover and Nathan Lane as John/James and Buzz respectively, who managed to dwarf all else around them with scene-biting ferocity. In this version, things are more evened-out, making for a more powerful sense of ensemble work. Brooks Reeves has the difficult dual role that Glover originated, but manages to acquit himself nicely in the 11thhour soliloquy when simply by turn of chair he shifts between two vastly disparate brothers. As Buzz, Jeremy Johnson gets the funniest lines, and though the over-the-top theater-queen role practically begs for overdone turkeydom, Johnson keeps it grounded, lending a very powerful poignancy to his budding kinship with James.

As the “role-models” in a 14-year relationship, Joey C. Pelletier and Keith Foster bring nuanced complexity to their characters Perry and Arthur. The least likable character in the lot, and the catalyst for some of the night’s most fiery moments, Perry is the difficult hinge around which McNally’s ambivalent criticism of the slightly-self-loathing middle-aged gay man turns. Finding the redemptive moments is the key to putting him over, and Pelletier is up to the task, unafraid to reveal Perry’s own inner-conflict, outward manifestations of intolerance, and ultimately heartwarming commitment to Arthur. Working for and against the hot-blooded Latino stereotype, Michael J. Blunt’s Ramon kicks off the drama with his preening, penis-heavy performance (instead of drinking from a silver cup, he admires his reflection in it). Ramon’s dance career is taking off just as Gregory’s is ending. David Anderson brings brittle emotional intensity to the host of the festivities, his watery transparency on the verge of breaking down or putting someone’s hand into a garbage disposal. The disintegration of his career as a dancer is at the opposite parabolic end of Ramon’s, which adds to the tension of his relationship with Bobby. Cody Sloan, in the role originated by Justin Kirk, portrays Bobby with a wisdom belying his years.

An ensemble piece is only as strong as its weakest character, but there is no weak link here. The cast manages to lift each other to greater heights, which is the secret of solid ensemble work. A telling testament to the legacy of McNally’s words, along with an impeccable cast on top of their game, this production of ‘Love! Valour! Compassion!’ is a moving reminder of an era already almost gone. In some ways an antidote to a predecessor like ‘The Boys in the Band’ (currently being revived on Broadway), this is one of those gay plays that deserves greater recognition.

{The Zeitgeist Stage Company‘s production of ‘Love! Valour! Compassion!’ is playing at the Plaza Theatre of the Boston Center for the Arts through May 19, 2018. Tickets may be purchased here. }

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