Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Paradise Found/Insatiable Thirst

My quest for an Australian tree fern really began the moment I set eyes on the glorious specimens on display at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. As with most totems, they signified the beauty of the museum in one towering symbol, and I thought that if I could just grow one in our living room some of that beauty couldn’t help but be conjured as well. (As with most things, the reality of such an attempt is often quite sadder, and a single object from a magical place rarely results in magic. Still, I hoped. Still, I tried.)

For several years, I kept the quest in the back of my mind. I alternated between moments of hopeful ascendancy (if I could just find a young-enough specimen, I could nurture it into liking our little bay window) and hopeless despondency (even if I could find one, it would surely die a certain, and likely quick, death in our dry air). And through it all, when I would occasionally see a small one in a greenhouse, happily reaching its fronds out to the humid environment, I would always chicken out.

Last week in Faddegon’s, after picking up a pair of Lion’s paw plants, I took a detour and explored their greenhouses, where several majestic Australian tree ferns sat freshly-watered in a lush corner. They were magnificent. Their stems were covered in thick hair, their leaves were bright green and dripping with the recent human-made rainfall. They were larger than any of the other specimens I’d encountered there over the years. Most of all, they were beauty incarnate – all delicate elegance and exotic grace.

Seeking a sign, or at least some guidance, I found someone who worked there and asked what the viability of one of the tree ferns surviving outside of a greenhouse environment might be. She said as long as I kept its catch-saucer full of water, it should do fine. I was incredulous. I’d never heard of such a thing. What about root rot? I asked, the most common of indoor plant killers. Not a problem, she said. They drink so much, especially in the typical dry air of our homes, that they need it. She went on to say that she had one going on ten years in her house, and she just kept the catch pot filled with an inch or so of water at all times. Emboldened by this success story, I lifted my chosen plant out of its water bed, let it drip for a bit then brought it to the register. I would take the chance on such beauty.

I brought her home and put her where we get the most light. She stands somewhat awkwardly in the make-do potting system and bowl I set up to keep her wet enough, so don’t judge too harshly just yet. I’ll pot her up prettily enough – for now I just want to see whether she will survive her new environs. The light is slightly lower, as is the humidity – but summer in the northeast will help with that soon enough. As for the water – I’ve been filling it daily, and each day she drinks it down again. That’s a good sign. If the water were just sitting there, I’d wonder at its worth. Perhaps that’s the secret for these beauties after all. If so, she’s worth the pampering.

We are all so thirsty for love.

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Sky, Moon & Star

You cannot see it from the crappy phone grab, but this is a crescent moon in the sky at dusk, along with a single star in the lower right of the frame. It floated above me while I floated in the pool for the first time this year. How many chances do we each get to swim below a crescent moon? I’m taking each and every one I can get.

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Theater Review: ‘Dear Evan Hansen’

Music Box Theatre

Contorted in anguish, his body writhes precariously before an audience, both in the story and on the stage of the Music Box Theatre. His face streams with sweat and tears, his face quivers, and his hands tremble with the weight upon his shoulders. It is the weight of the world – the weight of being a teenager, which, even in the best of possible worlds, is the worst weight of them all. He stumbles to the ground, melting into a pool of angst and despondency, and just when you think you can’t bear the awkward silence and the agonizing quiet, he launches into ‘You Will Be Found’ – the Act One closer that is a high point of ‘Dear Evan Hansen’, last year’s Tony Award winner for Best Musical. And that’s just the emotional roller-coaster of the last ten minutes of the first act.

With its weighty subject matter and grim modern-day depiction of the desolation of an ever-encroaching online world, ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ seems an unlikely choice for Best Musical material, yet somehow the overriding emotional catharsis of the show, along with a powerful set of songs courtesy of Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, makes this a ride worth taking.

It begins in familiar territory for most of us: parent and child growing pains. We’ve all been on one or both ends of that formula, and as the mothers in ‘Anybody Have a Map?’ lament, there is no easy answer. From there, the musical takes off as title character Evan Hansen seeks to conquer his doubts and heal his mysteriously-broken arm, wondering at his inability to connect with others in ‘Waving Through a Window’. After a misguided letter and sudden tragedy lead Evan on a quest requiring deception to ease another family’s pain, the main catalyst sets the musical in motion. Rather than face the truth, Evan crafts a happier version of events that never really happened, but the beauty of ‘For Forever’ is that there is a kernel of truth in the wanting for such a perfect day to be real. That wanting is authentic. If he believes in it enough, if he makes it sound so good that everyone will want to believe in it too, then the lie might be forgiven. It might be given another life as something else, something that soothes and corrects a past that might not be as perfect.

Before things get bogged down in that philosophic contemplation, there is the hilarious trio of ‘Sincerely, Me’ and the comedic relief of Evan’s “family friend” Jared. Such transitions are absolutely vital in such a heavy show, but would be bright spots in any musical treading the boards right now.

As the title character for Wednesday and Saturday matinees, Michael Lee Brown gets the brunt of the emotional walloping, but his physical embodiment and vocal athletics are more than mettle for the task at hand. His Evan Hansen is all frail and flailing delicacy masked by self-deprecating humor, mirroring his mother’s initially over-the-top can-do attitude. When that mask is ripped off, it’s a remarkable thing to watch whether he will replace it with another.

Evan’s two would-be compatriots, Conor Murphy and Jared Kleinman, guide him in ways both hilarious and poignant. As the latter, Will Roland gets the majority of laughs, with impeccable comedic timing and sly delivery. Mike Faist brings typical teen angst and surprising tenderness to the troubled Conor.

The parents here are on equally complex footing. As the mothers, Rachel Bay Jones and Jennifer Laura Thompson are saddled with the weight of their teenage offspring, each dealing with fractured families in their own way. Ms. Jones gets the eleventh-hour tearjerker ‘So Big/So Small’ that finally breaks through to her son. As the lone father in the piece, Michael Park is all stoic, low-growl slumber until he opens up in ‘To Break in a Glove’. By the time Evan’s final salvo comes in ‘Words Fail’, the family that he has created is one to which we all suddenly belong. The need for that is primal and powerful. What happens when it’s taken away is devastating.

‘Dear Evan Hansen’ is about the families we create for ourselves, out of desperation or delusion or the simple need to survive. It’s about the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we tell each other – to be kind, to be consoling, to get through the day – and how draining and debilitating those lies can become. It’s about the existences we conjure and create, the facades of perfection we try so hard to keep flawless at any price. Mostly, though, it’s about the ways in which we matter, how each of us, despite our growing disenchantment and the ever-crushing way the world works, does in fact matter. And we are not alone. This musical reaches out to make a connection in a world where connecting no longer seems to make a difference. It’s a cry as gripping as a son’s desperate hug for his mother, a longing for a solution as insoluble as the longing for a lost father, and a quest for a moment of meaning as harrowing as the last hold on a tree branch before letting go.

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A Truly Royal Recap

Who knew the world needed a royal wedding to remind us of all the happiness that’s still out there? I suppose when you think about the happiness and love between a Prince of Wales and a biracial American woman, that’s more powerful and unifying than anything either of the leaders of our respective nations can currently muster. Love will conquer all, even the darkest news we’ve had of late. Besides, we could always use another reason to don a fascinator… on with the recap. 

The larch that weeps brings beauty that laughs. 

Narcissus in the sun.

Fern love

Lilac love

Cherry love

Mother’s Day weekend with Mom kicked off with a train ride to New York City

Our first show was ‘The Boys in the Band’, and then our first full day was spent shopping and dining before a gorgeous production of ‘Once On This Island.’

A matinee of ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ and some evening cocktails at the Taj Pierre concluded the long weekend, with a breakfast coda that found us looking forward to next year. 

A Broadway performer was our sole Hunk of the Day: Isaac Powell

Happy flower faces

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Happy Faces

A quick bit of midday beauty. These English daisies always make me feel a little happier. So bright and cheery are they, the mere sight of them lifts the spirits, signaling the height of spring. All happy hope, all giddy promise. 

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Cherry Snow

It feels like spring hasn’t even been here, and yet the first steps of its departure are already being taken. This past weekend, with the rain and wind and decidedly dreary weather, we saw the magnificent showing of the Kwanzan cherry blooms come to a gorgeously dramatic end. After a soaking rain all of Saturday, weighting the blooms with wetness, Sunday’s strong breezes brought them all down – mostly into the pool. Andy did his best to stay on top of them, but as this was the most floriferous our cherry has ever been, it proved a daunting task. 

As sad as it was to see the petals go, it was also quite beautiful, which is often the way with nature. It’s a lesson that we need to learn and accept. We stood outside and watched the cherry blossoms leave their branches, fluttering down like a steady parade of pink snow, preparing the way for the end of spring.

The only good thing about the end of spring is the start of summer…

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Theater Review: ‘Once On This Island’

Circle in the Square Theatre

Inventive, ingenious and invitingly-entertaining, ‘Once on This Island’ has transformed the Circle in the Square into a piece of theatrical paradise. Set on “an island in the French Antilles, then and now,” the current revival magically places its audience right on the island as well (and front row ticket-holders would do well to dress accordingly, i.e. for sand, which I neglected to mention to my Mom as she carefully strode across the beach in open-toed fancy shoes). It’s a delightful rendering of immersion theater that never feels gimmicky or trite, one that succeeds largely because the music and emotion behind the story are strong enough to merit a revival.

‘Once on This Island’ tells the tale of a little girl who loses her family in a storm but is taken in by a loving set of parents. When she grows up, she falls in love with a man she helped nurse back to health, but is prevented from being with him by their economic and social status. The interplay of nature versus society runs throughout the show, and the gorgeous melodies and songs of Stephen Flaherty and Lynn Ahrens (the team that would later create the equally-beautiful music of ‘Ragtime’) anchor the spectacular visuals.

Enchanting and epic, the breezes that blow off this magnificent musical are based on the most primal emotion of them all: love. It is felt in the details of the piece, from the present moment magic of the maelstrom to the distant evocation of the gods. It’s there in the sand beneath our feet and the water lapping at the edge of the stage. It’s there in the computer cords making up the headdress of one goddess, the plastic bags hanging like a couture necklace around another, and the Coca Cola spines of the deliverer of death. At once immediate and timeless, the musical sings the song of familial loyalty, endless love, sacrifice, loss, and redemption.

Hailey Kilgore is a revelation in her star-making turn as the grown Ti Moune. Her journey from wide-eyed innocent to cast-out lover helps turn this production into a seering work of art; her final scene at the gate is the heartbreaking stuff of theatrical legend. Isaac Powell gives a compelling performance as Daniel, object of and willing participant in Ti Moune’s affection. Daniel makes his own choices, as much as he is allowed, realizing his own trapped fate and powerless (or unwilling) to fight against it. It’s a difficult role, less showy and emotionally brittle as Kilgore’s, and more tricky because of it. That we are just as torn by his fate is testament to Powell’s complex portrayal (and I’m not just saying that because he complimented my shoes before the show began).

As the couple who takes in Ti Moune, Philip Boykin and Kenita R. Miller provide support, ambivalence, warnings and love as they let their little girl go. More than that, Ms. Miller offers a devastating portrayal of a mother-figure faced with the prospect of losing her child, something she shows in tears or the worrying of her hands as she sprinkles sand in superstitious protection. Her more powerful spell comes in the form of love, such as when she joins her daughter in a dance to show the society snobs a moment of unabashed revelry and joy.

The various gods supply both plotline catalysts and a sort of Greek chorus sounding board. Quentin Earl Darrington makes a commanding Agwe, overseeing the sea and the storms with whimsical and sometimes fierce abandon. Broadway veteran Lea Salonga brings her glorious soprano presence to the island as Erzulie, spinning choral gold with words of love. She is but one voice of many that raises this production to the realm of greatness.

The staging is genius, and it’s not just about the beach. I never thought anything more could be done with the sand on stage, but when it dissolves into a glorious carpet, and then into a floor of marble, it’s like a miracle happening right before your eyes. Such stagecraft is stunning, lending more wonder to the enchantment at hand, yet it remains rooted to the reality of the present, as it’s not a special effect but a clever manipulation of materials on hand. A car chase finds abstract assembly of its main vehicle in surprisingly effective form, while the gates of the palace are as formidable as they are fluid. Performers make double and sometimes triple duty use of the wreckage on-set; repeated viewings are probably necessary to fully appreciate all the little details as well as the majestic way they work together to create a perfect panoply.

The music remains the centerpiece here, and though there are some individual songs that stand out, it’s the piece as a whole that wields its true energy and power, even and especially in the aftermath of devastation and loss. The lilting and bittersweet ‘Some Girls’ is as heartrending as ‘We Dance’ is uplifting. Instruments are made from discarded plastic bottles and similar flotsam, resulting in a raw, organic sound – all the better to appreciate the voices.

By the final act of rebirth, storytelling has become a faith and religion unto itself. We pass on traditions, and songs, and tales of our past so that the future generations may learn, live and love better than those of us who came before. The last notes are hopeful reminders that the past, no matter how painful, can be reconstructed and repurposed – much like the throw-away objects that form the costumes and scenery here – and reborn in a new way. Without telling that story, there would be nowhere to go.

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A Helluva Town: NY with Mom – Part 4

For Mother’s Day breakfast, I booked us a table at the nearby Norma’s. (I wish I’d thought to do so last year when we were still on a Norma Desmond ‘Sunset Boulevard’ high.) We enjoyed it now, walking through the impressive lobby of the Parker Meridien into a cozy corner where other mothers were enjoying an early celebration of their day. Since I was actually spending the weekend with my Mom instead of merely writing about her, there was no Mother’s Day post, so this will have to suffice.

We’ve been doing these Broadway weekends for several Mother’s Days now. I think we each enjoy them for different reasons, as they afford us an uninterrupted bit of quality time with one another – not in serious, sustained conversation all the while, but in simpler, quieter moments. We make good travel companions because despite our appreciation of style and elegance, we’re both pretty low-maintenance. The pacing is easy, and no one gets riled if plans morph into something slightly new and unexpected.

We also get to reminisce and remember the people we love, and some of whom we have lost. They show up in surprising ways – a dachshund to remind us of Gram or a dinner dish to remind us of Aunt Luz and Uncle Roberto. Of course we also reflect on those still with us (but I’m not about to dish on all that). It’s good to have a designated long weekend to allow for such sharing, and it has become an important tradition for both of us.

This year was a good one, and looking back on the weekend it was practically perfect. This may have been the most consistently-great set of shows we’ve seen in years, and it will be difficult to top them. That doesn’t mean I won’t try next year…

{And here’s a bonus look back at our first time at ‘Sunset Boulevard, circa 1995.}

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A Helluva Town: NY with Mom – Part 3

The storms arrived on our third day, but thanks to some uncanny timing we only needed our umbrellas for minor portions of our walking. While we were at breakfast, the sky opened up and released torrents of rain – we watched from behind a restaurant window. Once it got that out of its system, however, the sky lightened and only lightly spritzed for the remainder of the trip.

Taking advantage of the break, we walked and did some window shopping (well, I may have shopped more than windows, but cashmere on sale is always worth the investment). Our matinee that day was ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ and based on the music I knew we were in for a treat.

The show did not disappoint, and if you want to go on a roller-coaster of meaningful, cathartic musical magic, get your tickets now. After such emotional extremes, we stopped for a cocktail at Randolph’s, conveniently located at the Warwick, then got ready for a late dinner near the Pierre.

(Don’t ask me about my decision-making when it came to booking a restaurant that specialized in rotisserie chicken; how do you not do it decently? And why would I pick a place that’s serving $40 dishes when I can get the same thing at the local market for $6.99?) Regardless, the atmosphere and the company was enjoyable, and we made the most of our last dinner of this Mother’s Day Broadway weekend.

There was only one breakfast left…

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A Helluva Town: NY with Mom – Part 2

The day that would end up being the nicest as far as the weather went began in simple fashion: with a breakfast at a nearby diner. Sometimes it’s best to keep things casual and easy, and I’m someone who loves a good diner breakfast. Our server had some verve to her as well, which made for an entertaining way to wake up. All in the name of sustenance for a day of shopping that began with a subway ride to the World Trade Center stop.

Much has changed in that part of the subway system, as it has in that part of the city. The Westfield nexus of shopping, dining and subway stopping was pretty much complete – and what a change. Sweet perfume shops sent their olfactory soldiers into battle against a legion of subway exhaust fumes in a battle that declared no clear winner. We weren’t there for the new shops though, we had bargain hunting to accomplish, so we rode into the daylight and walked to Century 21, where the real work began. (As far as it is from where we usually stay, the downtown location of Century 21 is vastly superior to the Lincoln Center store.) We found some steals, filled some bags, and still had some energy to return to the hotel and head out for a bit more. By the time another early bell for dinner rang, we were ready to eat again.

Toloache provided some decent guacamole and way-better-than-decent margaritas for our dinner, and when we finished a little sooner than expected we crossed the street for a cocktail stop at the Palm. As we sat looking out at New York, a pair of goats hopped out of a van. All in a day, I suppose.

That evening’s show was ‘Once on This Island’ and it was as glorious as word-of-mouth had indicated. More-so, in fact, and I was completely enamored of the entire production, right down to the sand that front-row visitors found beneath our feet.

I’d neglected to inform my Mom about this immersive factor of the show, so she gamely trotted along the beach to her seat in fancy open-toed shoes, while I accepted cast compliments for my sneakers.

At last, as the show got underway, the goats we’d spied previously made sense; they were part of the cast. An enchanting theatrical experience, we left lifted-up, and ready for one more full day…

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A Helluva Town: NY with Mom – Part 1

What began over two decades ago has become an annual event to which I eagerly look forward for the whole year: Mother’s Day weekend with Mom. Despite mixed weather forecasts signaling rain and storms, we somehow managed to mostly avoid the wet stuff as we navigated our way through three shows, three dinners, and some decent shopping in New York over Mother’s Day weekend. Happily, each of the shows surpassed our expectations (reviews to come) and the dinners and meals (more loosely scheduled than in years past) worked out well too.

It began with the train ride into the city. Traveling along the Hudson, we passed spots of rain, patches of clouds, and brilliant glimpses of sun-dappled forest. As one who thrives on extremes (of mood, of dress, of design) I always thrill at going from the tranquil, natural state of the trees and river then emerging from the train station into the concrete metropolis in a matter of minutes.

This time around we stayed at the Warwick Hotel, a historic piece of the city that proved more than amenable to our comfort requirements. (A dapper little bear at the front desk did his greeting duty with practiced aplomb.) Our suite had a charming entry-way, then a lovely sitting room (which we never quite utilized as much as we should have) a decent-sized bedroom (by city standards) and an adequate bathroom (read: small). Still, when staying in New York it’s not the hotel room that matters, but what you do outside of it.

That first night we kept things traditional and old-school: a pre-theater dinner at P.J. Clarke’s. We’d never been, but it’s a bit of an institution: the building standing alone in the midst of all those skyscrapers, the dessert specials written out on a chalk-board, and the red-and-white checkered tablecloths reminiscent of picnics from the past.

After that we returned to the room for a quick siesta before taking in our first show: ‘The Boys in the Band’. A full review will be posted once it officially opens, so I’ll simply say it went wildly beyond our expectations in the best possible ways. (And Jim Parsons didn’t trip until a couple of days after our performance.)

We walked back to the Warwick, found its warm comforting light, and retired for the evening. A full day of shopping, dining, and theater-going was one the agenda for us…

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A Little Lilac Bouquet

On some days it can be quite difficult to bring joy to a work office. I do my best with colorful outfits and floral coats, but that only goes so far. My Tom Ford cologne only carries a certain distance as well (and only garners a select group of fans). But when the lilacs are in bloom, and the office needs a Ford-free lift, I’ll bring in a stem or two of the sweet flowers and it instantly makes the day happier.

Their perfume is so potent that it only takes a small branch of blooms to fill the surrounding desk space with a signifying scent that reminds me of childhood and spring and hope. I remember picking them surreptitiously at night to surprise my Mom for Mother’s Day, the evening dew and leftover rain spilling onto me as I wrestled with the large stand of them at the top of our street.

I remember spying another group of them over the neighbor’s fence – they had white and dark purple varieties that seemed so exotic, so accustomed was I to the standard lilac shade that is ubiquitous in the Northeast. We had our only ancient trees, whose trunks had twisted and contorted over the years, but that still produced flowers on those branches that found enough sun. 

The variety you see here is a double version, a gift from Andy’s Mom delivered posthumously by his Dad and sister, adding to their sentimental value. I didn’t think it was possible to improve on the original standard, but this hybrid packs a punch not only in beauty, but in fragrance as well. (Often, the price of better blooms is a lack of perfume; this is a worthy exception.)

Since the addition of that single small starter, we have seen the gradual expansion of our lilac patch. I’ve managed to transplant sections to two areas of our side yard which started blooming last year, and recently added a small line in the neglected property behind our surrounding fence. I’ve found that the flowering varies from year to year – sometimes there are lots and sometimes it’s a little more lean. This is an in-between year.

Luckily, you don’t need a lot to leave a big impression. There’s something valuable to be gleaned from that.

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I Just Love Ferns

Currently on the hunt for an Australian tree fern, I’m also enjoying the unfurling of these ostrich ferns, reaching out from their fiddlehead origins to release their feathery carriage in full effect. Backed by the brilliance of the spring sun, these are just ending the reign of their fiddlehead phase and entering the start of their imperial ostrich stance. If given enough light, water and nutrients, they will reach four to five feet in statuesque height. In full-sun, the water requirements are high if you want them to last beyond July, so I’ve updated our soaker hose set-up to provide ample moisture. Fingers are crossed.

As for that elusive Australian tree fern, I’m starting to see several sites that supposedly supply them, but they are in the $30-60 range for a small specimen. I don’t mind beginning with a small size, and it’s actually better for moving purposes as younger plants are typically more adaptable to older ones who may have become too cozy in their climate-controlled hot-houses. That price tag is up there, though, particularly given that I’m not sure our living room will provide hospitable habitat. I’d rather take the risk with a lower price point, but as these things usually go I will likely bite the bullet and plunk the green stuff down now for the promise and hope of greener stuff to come.

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Narcissus in the Sun

Where else would Narcissus rather be, other than perhaps regarding its own reflection over a pool of water? That would make for wet roots and rotten bulbs, however, so the placement of the legendary flower is suspect to me. Current readings of what make up a narcissist would place them more aptly in a pool of sunlight, where they could shine and astound and receive all the notice and glory attributed to their desire. Traditional readings require some sort of reflective surface in which it may admire its own self, unconcerned with the rest of the world.

I’m a traditionalist in that sense.

I don’t need anyone’s approval to revel in my glory. 

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Weeping Starbursts

The first growth of the weeping larch is a welcome sight for winter-sore eyes, and even though we are well into spring, the freshness of this shade of green, almost a celadon injected with a subtle undercurrent of aqua and turquoise, remains this vibrant until it goes up in fiery amber flame at the arrival of fall. While they look like an evergreen – the coloring and form is a convincing imitation of a blue spruce and its new evergreen growth – the leaves are soft and feathery to touch, and completely deciduous. A nifty little out-of-parlor trick.

Our larch is precariously close to being edged out by a selfish hedge of Thuja ‘Green Giant’, which is pushing it to weep even more. I’ve had it for so long that I’m wary of moving it, and I’ve cut the Thuja back as far as it will happily stand, so I’m hoping things stay relatively still for the season. I can’t bear the thought of moving it just yet.

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