Speaking solely for myself (who else can anyone speak for?) I’d rather be selfish than selfless any day.
And every day.
Author Archives: Alan Ilagan
09
March
2019
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March
2019
Daffy But Not A Duck
The jonquils have started appearing at local markets – a sure sign of spring just around the corner, even if it’s a big-ass corner that it feels we’ll never quite round. Take solace in little gifts like this – they make the day prettier. The scent – delicate and ephemeral and never quite captured by any perfume thus far – is divine. Tom Ford tried with his Jardin series (Jonquille de Nuit) but the line was almost sickly sweet, with nothing to balance such potent floral notes. Sometimes less is more, as in this simple bouquet.
There is just enough green from the stems to offset the bright canary blooms, and for the first bouquet of the season it’s best to keep things simple. Like those first Technicolor films, when audiences weren’t quite used to so much color after so many years of sepia, we ease into it, stepping gingerly into the land of Oz from our basic Kansas beginnings.
Personally, I can handle more, but it’s good to refine the eye and gently coast into the riot that is spring. We will have more than enough opportunities for color explosions come later in the season. It is, after all, still winter.
08
March
2019
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March
2019
Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series
Political posts may be polarizing but I put cilantro on almost anything because I love it so much.
08
March
2019
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March
2019
Pillow Target Practice
This beautiful pillow, which goes so well with my Grandmother’s tufted green velvet couch, was procured at Target of all places. Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, I’m not a complete label whore, and I enjoy a bargain and a well-lit mainstream store as much as the next person. (I still have a gorgeous Marimekko for Target beach bag that personifies summer living and summer fun.) Their clothing has not quite won me over just yet (I don’t care if Isaac Mizrahi once played a part in it or not), but this pillow is stuffed heaven.
I like its multi-textured surface, along with its riotously-jarring collection of colors. There’s a remotely 60’s vibe to it as well, with a little garishness thrown in for good measure. It goes well with Gram’s couches.
Strong, vibrant color makes all the difference in a dismal day.
07
March
2019
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March
2019
Bunny Fuckery
What kind of mad, life-sized fuckery is this bullshit?
It’s not even Lent yet, and this bastard, towering over all, just stood in my path at Michael’s while I was trying to hurriedly pick up a few supplies for the new project. (Further evidence that nothing good ever came of Michael’s, or Pinterest for that matter. And don’t even get me started on that nightmare called JoAnn’s Fabric Store.)
Now, I thought I’d already banished the Easter Bunny ghosts from my youth, but when something like this catches you by surprise, and it’s so goddamn big… well, one recoils at the horror of it all no matter how far past it one thinks one is.
06
March
2019
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March
2019
Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series
It’s been way too long since I’ve had a massage.
I recently stumbled groggily into a door and thought, “That wasn’t terrible.”
06
March
2019
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March
2019
The Ass Wednesday Post
Oh wait, it’s Ash?
Whoopsie daisy.
Ban me from FaceBook and call it a month.
We celebrate Ass Wednesday here. There’s enough shame in the world. This is where the booty gets down. It’s not our first Ass Wednesday at the butt-baring rodeo. It’s actually not our second Ass-Baring Hump Day either. This is, as far as I can tell from the Ass Archives, our third booty-ful beginning to Lent. It begins with 50 Shades of a Nude Jamie Dornan. He’s shown off his backside here before, and it’s always worth another look.
Newer to these pages is Kit Harington and his kingly booty. I have yet to start binge-watching ‘Game of Thrones’ so this GIF will have to suffice. Here’s Mr. Harington’s Hunk of the Day post.
Richard Madden was also a Hunk of the Day. Perhaps more impressively, he was a Prince in Cinderella, and a naked hunk on this website.
John Cena may have the most bodacious bottom ever seen on this site, but don’t take my word for it. Check out a naked John Cena here.
Back with his brothers for ‘Sucker’ and making his most recent splash right here, Nick Jonas has always used his assets from his first Hunk of the Day post and beyond.
Backing this post into the end zone (groan if you must, and don’t come for me over bad sports puns that I don’t even fully understand) is David Beckham. More of his bum may be found at this link-filled post.
Happy Ass Wednesday everybody – shake it if you’ve got it! Let’s get our Lent on…
05
March
2019
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March
2019
Strong Shades, Vivid Intensity
When the outside world grows dull in winter grays and browns, as it is wont to do at this purgatorial time of the year, I look to the local greenhouse to cheer me up with orchids and bromeliads. Faddegon’s just had a sale on these beauties, so I stopped in to get some floral therapy. It always works.
Bright shades of pink do wonders for the winter-weary soul; when framed with green they are even more stunning. While these blooms look impossibly-exotic and difficult to care for, but the Phalaenopsis is an easy-to-grow plant when it gets enough light and humidity. I find in these northern climes, even full sun is not strong enough to bother them. (Usually, if they aren’t performing well, it means they require more light and/or more humidity.)
Bromeliads also like bright indirect light and lots of humidity, so they’ll do well in a kitchen or bathroom environment. Sadly, we don’t have enough space or light to grow many orchids or bromeliads, but they are a joy to gaze upon in a greenhouse. One day I’ll find a garden room, so let that wish go out into the universe and manifest itself in some lucky happening.
04
March
2019
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March
2019
The Roaring Recap of the Lion’s Entrance
The madness of March – herald the Return of Spring! – is in full effect as the last week brought about the turn of the calendar page. Hunkering down and getting deep into some project work is the best way to pass these last few weeks of winter. The sun is staying a little longer; the days are beginning to last. We can do this. But first, a quick look back at how we left February in the snow dust.
Let’s begin with these #TinyThreads. (Click on each #TinyThreads link at the end of each to follow the journey of nonsense.)
Lady Gaga & Madonna, together again.
The magic of Belinda Carlisle.
Madonna’s ‘American Life’… en route.
The return of the Jonas Brothers, all grown up.
Madonna’s best album… to date.
Hunks of the Day included Patrick Duffy, Brendan Patrick, Nick Dent, Adam Devine, Michael Kleinmann, and Mike Rickard.
04
March
2019
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March
2019
Friends & Lovers
Whatever came of Gay Lit? It’s been ages since I’ve had the luxury of lazily browsing a bookstore, but I can’t remember the last time I saw a section on Gay Literature. In the 90’s they seemed to be everywhere. Hell, there were entire Gay Bookstores (shout out to ‘We Think The World of You’ in the South End of Boston!) These days, for better or worse, our work seems to have assimilated into the general categories of Fiction or Non-fiction, but rather than getting into some deep analysis of what that might mean to the LGBTQIA world, I’m simply going to offer a reading suggestion which brings us even further back in time to the 1960’s. By the great Edmund White, ‘Jack Holmes & His Friend’ is a look at a gay man’s life during the last half of the 20thcentury. I won’t give much more away; Mr. White has a better grasp of words than I ever could. He gets into what it might have been like for a gay man at that time, how subtle notions of masculinity were both desired and problematic, and ways in which we tried to escape.
“Either you were off everyone’s radar and flying solo, undetectable, or you registered with them and suffered the consequences – you became a character, a type, which was fine except it felt limiting. What he wanted and needed was a buddy, a guy his own age, a masculine guy who didn’t look at you penetratingly and size you up. A buddy who would share with you his interest in books or old movies or fine sports writing. Yeah, you’d catch sight of your buddy out of the corner of your eye as the two of you headed out into the night, collars turned up against the cold and shoulders bumping. Someone who didn’t stare at you and who could watch TV with you and make just the occasion wry comment while nursing a beer. Someone who made you feel like a minor adjective, not a major noun.”
~ Edmund White, ‘Jack Holmes & His Friend’
“I thought about how much work it must be to be the life of the party, even if the party was just three or four friends.”
“He knew he couldn’t indulge his despair even for an hour or the perpetual-motion machine would freeze; he’d never escape the stasis of depression.” ~ Edmund White, ‘Jack Holmes & His Friend’
“I tried to collect my thoughts: It’s true that a gay friend is different, maybe better, because he’s not a rival. He’s not part of the whole dismal system. He’s not one more pussy-whipped churchgoer who’s learned to keep his head, the big head and the little one, in check. Everyone thinks gay guys are sissies and mama’s boys, but they’re actually people who’ve chosen their sexuality over all the comforts of home. They’re bravely obsessional – but at a price.“ ~ Edmund White, ‘Jack Holmes & His Friend’
“There were so few safe ritual male topics available to us that we ended up saying things that were real and personal.” ~ Edmund White, ‘Jack Holmes & His Friend’
“He’s one of the rare people I know who genuinely prefer their own company…” ~ Edmund White, ‘Jack Holmes & His Friend’
03
March
2019
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March
2019
More Gratuitous Underwear Studs
It seems not even a Calvin Klein underwear ad can appear online without disagreement, as evidenced by the reactions to how Shawn Mendes is currently filling out those infamous boxer briefs. Pfft to all that negativity – I applaud Mr. Mendes, or anyone else for that matter, for having the balls to be photographed in your underwear. Granted, he’s getting paid a lot more than those of us who do it for free on Instagram, but I’m not resentful. Those six-pack days have been replaced by 3-liter tires and I’ve never looked back.
As part of the new Calvin Klein campaign, Noah Centineo also plays a part. (I’m told one of the Kardashians is also part of this ad series, so life remains perfectly imperfect.)
Heading up (and filling out) his own line of underwear, Cristiano Ronaldo holds his own in a gratuitous underwear post, as so handily illustrated in these GIFs.
A classic like David Beckham never goes out of style, even if he’s been relatively quiet of late on the underwear front (and back). Same with Ben Cohen. I’m not counting either out just yet – all it takes is one sexy photo shoot to recharge the fanaticism. Ask Nick Jonas. Or Joe Jonas.
03
March
2019
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March
2019
The Day the Light Arrived
Madonna’s greatest album to date is finally old enough to drink, as ‘Ray of Light’ bellies up to the bar and turns 21. Released on March 3, 1998, it remains an artistic and commercial highlight of Madonna’s storied career, earning her some long-deserved Grammy Awards, critical acclaim, and a resurgence of mainstream popularity. More important than all of that, it’s just a great fucking album. Her best, in my not-so-humble opinion, and the one against which all later work would be judged, like it or not.
The tracklisting:
- Drowned World: Substitute for Love
- Swim
- Ray of Light
- Candy Perfume Girl
- Skin
- Nothing Really Matters
- Sky Fits Heaven
- Shanti/Ashtangi
- Frozen
- The Power of Goodbye
- To Have and Not To Hold
- Little Star
- Mer Girl
The ‘Ray of Light’ album will always hold a special place in my heart for a number of reasons. It came in the spring of my life, when I was just becoming an adult, whatever the hell that even means. It came in the almost-spring of a year which found me flailing, floundering, and flagellating myself in any number of ways, and in which, looking back, I was having the time of my life. It came in a moment of stillness and relative quiet, at the tail end of a century and a millennium, in a time of innocence we never quite recognized as such until it was gone.
02
March
2019
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March
2019
Super Sexy Sucker: The Jonas Bros Return
A confession: my boy-band loving days ended with the collapse of N’Sync at the early turn of the Millennium (Backstreet Boys reference!) and have never really returned, despite Harry Styles. To be fair, I don’t know if it’s accurate to call the Jonas Brothers a boy band anyway – they played instruments at least, and seemed a tad more authentic. Nick Jonas has gone on to make some solid music, as has Joe as part of DNCE.
I love a good ‘Sucker’ – and their new single is something to be seen and heard. With its gloriously whimsical video (influenced by ‘The Favourite’ and ‘Alice in Wonderland’) the new song is actually enjoyable, and up until now I’ve never been a big fan of their music. (Further proof that a good video can make a decent song into something spectacular.)
As for the Jonas Brothers themselves, each has been featured here as a Hunk of the Day. {See Kevin, Joe, and Nick.} And of course Nick Jonas has had a number of posts thanks to his fitness regime, underwear shots, and general heat. Same for Joe Jonas (who may win best scenario here for that all-too-quick boxers and bondage shot – though Nick comes close with his shirtless bath moment). Mystery gratuitous skin links of Nick Jonas naked and Joe Jonas half-naked here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. Or just search the archives in the little box at the bottom of this, and every, page. (Bonus parting shot: these nude Nick Jonas GIFs.)
