Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Angels With Fragrant Trumpets

After the sluggish start to spring, I wasn’t sure if our Angel’s Trumpets would bloom while it was still nice out, but these two specimens have been putting on a glorious concert over the past few weeks, dangling their fragrant trumpets and filling the backyard with their perfume. It is the quintessential scent of summer, one that brings me all the way back to our early days together, when I started a few plants in a guestroom at Andy’s old house. They struggled inside, but once they could get out into the warmth and sun they took off and put on an astounding show.

They usually take a year or two to really get going, which makes overwintering them a necessity. I tend to pot them up every few weeks and let them go as high as they want. Our relatively short growing season will force them to top off between six and ten feet, and right before the first hard frost I’ll cut them down to three feet or so and bring them in.

While they took their time, these have gotten the tallest we’ve had, which makes them a bit top heavy and one was just felled by some of the crazy storms we’ve had of late. They are so heavy that right them is no easy feat, and I added a few large rocks to their pots in the hopes of keeping them grounded. The few branches that broke off will be put into some water to see if we can get some new ones started. Eventually they will outgrow their pot, and rather than root-prune and repot, I’ll have hopefully started a few new ones to take over the mantle of summer perfume.

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One Last Recap in August

The final week of August has begun, and with it goes the final full month of summer. Our fall season won’t officially begin until September 23, and we intend to make full use of every last one of those summer days. Before that final flourish, however, let’s look back at this full week of August revelry…

It began with clouds, some of which bought storms.

Siesta, not fiesta.

Luscious lavender.

I just love games.

We are all guilty.

Sometimes there’s a frat boy inside of me

Like in this instance.

A bulging collection of Hunks.

A new birthday suit for my 44th birthday…

… and my old birthday suit

Another Madonna Timeline from ‘Madame X.’

Hunks of the Day included Craig Ramsay, Giovanni Bonamy, George Hill,  Jay Ellis, and Jax Taylor.

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #155 ~ ‘Faz Gostoso’ – Summer 2019

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

One of the stronger cuts, and definitely one of the most fun, from the ‘Madame X’ album, this is Madonna (with some help from Anitta) putting on a proper shredder complete with a carnival plunked right in the middle of the party proceedings. It deserves to be heard and celebrated rather than analyzed, which means this Madonna Timeline will be short and to the point so we can abandon ourselves to the glory at hand.

I have no idea what she’s saying or what any of it means, I just know that I love it and it makes me want to dance. The best songs cut through words and literal meaning to hit at the very heart and soul, something raw and powerful and driving, and that’s what this is to me.

For more ‘Madame X’ music, check out the timelines for ‘Batuka‘, ‘Killers Who Are Partying‘ and ‘Future.’ And trust me when I say that even better stuff is on the way

SONG #155 – ‘Faz Gostoso‘ ~ Summer 2019
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Raindrops on Roses (The Real B-Day Suit)

Seeing as how it’s my supposedly special day, it seems a fine time to focus on the frivolous bits of flotsam and jetsam that populate my scanning interest these days. Each one is a category on this blog because I post so much about them that this makes for easy organization. Such was the intent of early blog ambitions – these days if I want to seek out a specific post I simply type a keyword into Google, followed by ‘Alan Ilagan’ to see what exactly I wrote since the search engine here is broken. 

Anyway, here are a few favorite topics and the links to their respective collections. The great revamping of 2012 obliterated most posts prior to that year, though a few choice ones have been saved that go back to 2009. After 2012, however, almost every post is still up and online here. It makes for a large body of work, because seven years of anything – especially when there are three posts a day – results in a vast collection of words and pictures. This is the modern-day diary, a virtual throwback to the little Garfield diary I once filled out in 7thand 8thgrades, that came with its own lock and key. Diaries are funny things. Blogs are too. Both feel a little antiquated, a little quaint, and more than a little necessary for those of us who feel the need to express things or burst. But it would be foolish to pretend that either a diary or a blog is entirely without guile or underlying purpose all of the time. We all wear disguises, even and sometimes especially when we purport to be naked. Veils of veils and shadows of shadows, the trickery of light at perpetual play – these are the subtle shifts of an online persona. The voice you hear now as you read these words is probably not mine. But I digress, entirely too much, particularly on such a fun day. Let’s keep it light and whimsical, like the very best notions that accompany one’s anniversary of birth.

And the categories are:

In addition to those main categories, there are a few silos that have more than hay in them:

Wild geese that fly with a moon on their wings…

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A New Birthday Suit for My Birthday: #44

When you’ve shown your ass to the world for the last sixteen years that ALANILAGAN.com has been around, it’s a bit of a relief to put all your clothes on and celebrate in a new kind of birthday suit. Hence this birthday post. Suited up in the post-coital garden of Adam and Eve, the only cup you will see here is in the cup plant behind me. (My junk is buried deep in the archives so you’ll have to search to find it.)

As for birthday wisdom this year, I’m feeling a little drained. This isn’t some grand post with multi-layered levels of meaning. This is me at 44 not giving a shit because I’m pretty happy with where I am right now. But there’s still some bitter to go with the sweet, so let’s have at that. 

Forty-fucking-four, and I feel every second of it. Not always in a bad way, in fact usually not in a bad way. I earned all the gray hairs, laugh-lines and frown-creases I’ve got, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I traded them happily for knowledge and a certain amount of wisdom. I also bartered for patience and a bit of apathy, because in the not-so-distant past I cared a little too much. Better to let things go, better to let others get bogged down with semantics and the eternal quest for what’s right. It’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to make mistakes. I don’t have to like it, I just have to be ok with it, and I am.

44 has a nice smooth edge to it – two even numbers divisible by 2 and 4 and even 11. Not one to get into numerology, I still hope that 44 brings about luck and fortune. I’™m more into astrology, which has me on the Leo-Virgo cusp, with a distinctive preference toward the latter. And second only to Virgo regarding annoyance factor may be Leo, which is why I’m so often such an insufferable dominatrix of sorts. (It also means that it’s much easier just to do as I say from the beginning because I’m going to get my way in the end. Why must it be so much work for everyone?)

Sorry, it’s my birthday, so I get to be a little insufferable. (And having just re-read these last few sentences I am roaring with derisive laughter. Leos roar; Virgos deride. This is my sweet spot.)

Birthdays sometimes turn into an opportunity to indulge in a little nostalgia, but this year I’m not feeling that. We will look back another time. Right now I’m worlds away, floating on a cloud of musical theater, traipsing through streets of storied beauty, and thanking my maker for keeping me ticking another year.

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Bulging with Hunks

When a little (big) bulge ignites the internet, it’s time for a proper look at our past Hunks, and a tease of future ones to come. As we head into my birthday weekend, I’m pre-programming a few fun link-filled posts for your viewing pleasure. Sometimes we miss the hottest posts in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Here’s a chance to go back and correct it. 

We begin with Chace Crawford and the bulge that rocked the internet. Real or photoshopped is beside the, err, point. Check out his Hunk of the Day crowning here and let me know if we should feature him again. 

Up next is recent Hunk of the Day Jacob Elordi, who has been making his own splash on ‘Euphoria’ and causing emotional outbursts of the same name. Here he is modeling Calvin Klein underwear. [See also Salomon Diaz,  Shawn Mendes, Noah Centineo, and Nick Jonas… and Nick Jonas again.]

Ginger firecracker Race Imboden recently kneeled for a medal-winning rendition of the National Anthem, because our youth are the ones who have the strength and courage to stand up for the oppressed these days. That’s enough to remind me of why he was Hunk of the Day in the first place: it takes hunkiness and heart.  

‘Million Dollar Listing’ poster boy Ryan Serhant will do anything for a sale, including getting into a skimpy Speedo for a hot-tub demonstration, and that’s why he was a shoo-in for Hunk of the Day. He also featured in some nude shower GIFs for a naked male celebrity post like this one

Not to be outdone in the male gratuitous nudity category, here is Nico Tortorella baring his backside for a cheeky summer sun-tanning shot. Nico took it all off here and here too. (He was so good at it he earned a second Hunk of the Day honor here.)

The hairy-chested male gets plenty of attention in these parts, though maybe not so much lately, so let’s rectify that with this reminder of Bryan Greenberg and his turn as Hunk of the Day. Bryan also lent his body to hunk recollections like this one, and some sexy wet shirtless GIFs to this one

Cristiano Ronaldo has been in way too many posts to recall them all here, and you probably have link fatigue already, so here’s one of the most recent. oh, all right, here’s another. And one more for the road. Next to him is a newcomer, male model William McLarnon, who gives us some nude male celebrity street cred

Slightly less naked is Michael Campayno, who made his Hunk of the Day debut here

 

The grand finale to this post is brought to you by yesterday’s Hunk of the Day George Hill. This will likely not be the last you see of Mr. Hill, so relax and enjoy the ride.

And if that’s still not enough to stir up your psyche and stimulate your libido, check out this monster hunk post from 2018

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

There’s a hidden idiotic frat boy in me that insists on coming out sometimes.

Like when I’m washing cucumbers.

#TinyThreads

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Guilty

It may well be that we will have to repent in this generation. Not merely for the vitriolic words and the violent actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence and indifference of the good people who sit around and say, “Wait on time.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

Let’s play a game. Go to the 7th most recent photo on your phone – no cheating! – and delete that stupid thing. I’m guessing it sucks.

#TinyThreads

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Luscious Lavender

It hasn’t been the best year for our lavender plants. A couple of them barely survived the winter, and only one produced a decent flowering way back in June. This week there were only two stems that took part in the re-bloom, but all I needed was one to garnish the lavender martini seen here. It’s the first time I’ve made one this season, being so preoccupied with the Southern Sweet Peach Tea that took us all by storm.

This is a simple recipe, and the lavender syrup it requires can be made and kept in the fridge for several weeks – it also works quite well in a non-alcoholic lavender seltzer if you’re trying to be a little healthier. (Be sure to use culinary lavender – not the decorative kind, and certainly not something you’d find in a potpourri sachet.)

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

What needs to be done to bring about a proper honoring of the siesta in this country? We are all too run-down to function effectively.

#TinyThreads

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Clouds Not In My Coffee

The drama of a summer sky as seen from a parking lot can be a beautiful thing. When the mundane meets the magnificent, something magical happens. Here, in the midst of an errand, I paused to examine the sky – all beauty and prettiness and painted by the hands of God. How else to account for such majesty? Maybe God is Mother Nature. Or vice versa. Regardless, the entity responsible for this has much mad respect.

These particular cloud formations erupted one night when the atmosphere turned itself upside down, threatening tornados nearby, and shattering the summer sweetness with some driving rain, ending as soon as it began. Volatile stuff, more fun in retrospect than in the moments fraught with potential danger. The sensations of worry become more pronounced the older we get.

As soon as they formed, they dispersed and dissembled. I could barely get these shots in time before the beauty passed. That lends another layer of meaning to them. There will never be another time when the sky looks exactly like this. It was, and will forever remain, a once-in-a-lifetime image.

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A Pre-Birthday Recap

The week of my birthday begins with a not-so-nostalgic look back. Let’s get that over and done with so we can focus on this coming Saturday… and what better place to begin than with this year’s birthday wish list!

A summer gathering with extended family proved good for the heart and soul.

Dinner and a show with immediate family is pretty good too. 

Alan vs. Allen vs. Allan.

A lobster roll in downtown Albany.

Southern Sweet Peach Tea: a summer cocktail recipe. 

This is where I hang in the summer

A PSA from my workplace

Madonna celebrated her birthday, because August babies are the best.

There was also a new Madonna Timeline: Batuka.

Once upon a promise kept: a new project goes online

Mmmmm, grilled cheese.

The sexiness of Simon Dunn on full display.

Dress for the job you want. 

A little frond for a little vase.

I love that Betty Buckley is in Boston as we speak, and that I get to see her on my birthday this Saturday!

Hunks of the Day included Erwan Heussaff, Danny Walters, William McLarnon, and Rome Flynn.

 

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The Breathtaking Ms. Buckley

Breathing new life into a theatrical bastion is no easy feat, but all reports and reviews have Betty Buckley’s performance in ‘Hello, Dolly!’ further solidifying the legend that this Broadway icon has already etched in stone. Currently at the Boston Opera House (where we’ll be seeing her on my birthday) this is the production that Bette Midler revived, in all its gloriously sumptuous form. The world needs this more than ever right now, and I intend to sit back and let the love and the light wash over us.

Ms. Buckley has provided a bright spot to my world whenever it threatened to go dim, and her artistry at every turn of her career has been an inspiration to better myself in whatever road I was taking. Hers is the stuff of hard work, grit, studied determination, and a talent honed from years of exertion and practice. Beneath the steeliness, however, lurks a compassionate human being, whose love for animals and fellow humans rises to the surface in her generosity to an audience. She gives the best of herself in every performance, tackling each show as if it’s her first, last and only. That kind of resilience and infectious exuberance is the key to becoming Dolly Levi, and I cannot wait to see her this Saturday.

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