The advent of Lent (only true Catholics will rejoice at what I did there) makes this a bit of a Madonna moment, so entwined has some of her music been with the Catholic religion. Her most spiritual albums have been released in the month of March – see ‘Like A Prayer‘ and ‘Ray of Light‘ – and she recently re-issued some ‘Like A Prayer’ remixes that are positively divine. I’m treating you to the ‘Churchapella’ version here for a lovely almost-acoustic take on her epic song – a song that has stood the tests of time and controversy to stand alone as a piece of perfect art. Just like a muse to me…
Author Archives: Alan Ilagan
09
March
2021
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March
2021
09
March
2021
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March
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Jonathan Tucker
From his dazzling performance in ‘Sleepers’ – a criminally under-appreciated gem from the 90’s that also had indelible performances by Brad Pitt, Jason Patric and Minnie Driver – to his current powerful turn on NBC’s ‘Debris’, Jonathan Tucker has been steadily adding dramatic heft to a career of fascinating roles. His shape-shifting is so good that he’s become one of those actors that disappears into every one of his characters while retaining a mystique that somehow adds to his star-power. Can’t wait to see where his career goes next.
09
March
2021
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March
2021
A Prim Spring on the Horizon
There’s not much upon we can definitively rely these days – far less than ever before, it certainly seems – but there has always been a spring, in some way, shape or form. We are almost there once again, and it will be here in a few weeks. After the past year, however, we greet it hesitantly; as welcome and as needed as it is, I’m still wary. Too many plans have been derailed, too many perfect vacations canceled and erased from the calendar. I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than depressingly disappointed.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t given in to some of the hope that is in the air.
A bouquet of jonquils has already come and gone in our kitchen.
The tulips and hyacinths have started appearing in the markets.
And the primrose plants seen here are brightening up the greenhouses at Faddegon’s.
All are signs that spring, in whatever way it will, shall come again.
08
March
2021
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March
2021
The Madonna Timeline: Song #162 – ‘Crave’ – Summer 2019
{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}
I’M TIRED OF BEING FAR AWAY FROM HOME
FAR FROM WHAT CAN HELP
FAR FROM WHERE IT’S SAFE
HOPE IT’S NOT TOO LATE
RUSH, RUSH, RUSH ON YOU
LOVE, LOVE, LOVED ON YOU
LOVED YOU LIKE A FOOL
PUT MY TRUST IN YOU
Vines of chartreuse splendor wind down from the shade-giving canopy, while spires of new banana leaves rise from a bulky terra-cotta-hued pot. Together they form a veil of green, behind which the sparkling surface of the pool beckons, sometimes playfully, sometimes teasingly, and sometimes annoyingly when it’s dancing with rain. A hummingbird will come to visit, darting its tongue into the deep throats of the fuchsia and salvia, while robins will make a more bothersome and bold presence. To this, friends and family will add their joyous noise and bustle, enlivening the home and the yard and the summer itself.
It was the summer of 2019 – the last summer before the world stopped, before we were all stranded at home, suspended in place, our lives on pause.
‘CAUSE YOU’RE THE ONE I CRAVE
AND MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
THE FEELINGS NEVER FADE
I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD PLAY WITH THIS
SAID COME, COME GIVE ME STRENGTH
I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD WAIT FOR THIS
‘CAUSE YOU’RE THE ONE I CRAVE
AND MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
OOH (OOH), MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
OOH, I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD PLAY WITH THIS
OOH (OOH), MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
OOH, I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD WAIT
Recent cravings for Madonna had her timeline returning to the blog, and the next cut is already up: ‘Crave’ from 2019’s ‘Madame X’ opus. That summer was the last one when the world felt semi-sane and whatever normal was before the pandemic. We couldn’t know that then, and so this breezy memory is sweeter and hazier than usual. Would we have made more indelible memories if we’d known what was to come? I don’t know, it may have been better that we didn’t have a clue. Ignorance is often bliss. Like the mythical sole passenger who survives a car crash because they were asleep and their body just stayed limp instead of tensing up and causing more damage – maybe it was best that no one knew what was in store for us. And so the summer of 2019 passed in all its innocent bliss, with this song rocking gently inside and outside the house, as we opened things up for the season of the sun.
‘CAUSE I’M JUST ME (YEAH), THAT’S ALL I CAN BE (OOH)
SOMETHING REAL (YEAH), SOMETHING I CAN FEEL
YOU KNOW I JUST CAN’T CHANGE, THIS IS HOW I’M MADE
I’M NOT AFRAID, TAKE ME TO THAT PLACE
YOU’RE THE ONE I CRAVE (CRAVE)
AND MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
THE FEELINGS NEVER FADE
I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD PLAY WITH THIS
SAID COME, COME GIVE ME STRENGTH
I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD WAIT FOR THIS
‘CAUSE YOU’RE THE ONE I CRAVE
AND MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
It was back in the days when being alone and staying home was a choice, a deliberate and intentional decision to spend the weekend by ourselves, an indulgent bit of privacy that today is commonplace and necessity, taking away much of the joy and treat of the thing. And of course, now we miss that company, especially in the summer.
YOU’RE ON ME, I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD WAIT (WAIT)
YOU’RE ONLY ONE PULL UP AWAY (AWAY)
YOU’RE DOWN TO RIDE, YOU RIDE ME LIKE A WAVE (RIDE, YEAH)
I GAVE YOU A SENSATION (OOH)
A LONER, DAYS WE USED TO CHASE
IT’S DO OR DIE, YEAH, MY LOVE LIFE CAN GET CRAZY (CRAZY)
IT’S ON THE LINE, GIRL, YOU’RE RISKING EVERYTHING (THING)
IT’S OVER-X-RATED
Swae Lee was part of the 2019 summer soundtrack thanks to this one and the glorious ‘Sunflower’ – both subtle and insinuating tracks that lulled the summer days into nights, the way summer eases into just about everything. Nothing was rushed or hurried, nothing was worrying – the world eased into the sunny season and everyone put the work away. By the pool, we read and ate, idly dipping in when the height of heat overwhelmed. Friends stopped by when they could, family joined us for patio dinners, and no one had an idea of what was to come…
RAN SO FAR TO TRY TO FIND THE THING I LACKED AND THERE IT WAS
INSIDE (SIDE) OF (OF) ME (ME)
RAN AND RAN AND RAN SO FAST, A THING TO LAST, AND THERE IT WAS
I HEAR (HEAR) YOU (YOU) BREATHE (BREATHE)
‘CAUSE YOU’RE THE ONE I CRAVE (CRAVE)
AND MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
THE FEELINGS NEVER FADE
I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD PLAY WITH THIS
SAID COME, COME GIVE ME STRENGTH
I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD WAIT FOR THIS
‘CAUSE YOU’RE THE ONE I CRAVE
AND MY CRAVINGS GET DANGEROUS
IT’S ON THE LINE, GIRL, YOU’RE RISKING EVERYTHING
SONG #162 – ‘Crave’– Summer 2019
08
March
2021
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March
2021
A Dazzling Recap
March dazzles in its own blustery way, and this week will supposedly bring in some spring-like temperatures. Having been burned, or more accurately, frozen in the past, I’ll not hold my breath until such a heat wave deigns to descend. Until such time, let’s recap the previous week of dazzlement.
The Monday Blues were turned on their head by Kylie Minogue and her disco stick.
Feeling nostalgic, and mourning the loss of two more Ogunquit establishments, here is my homage to the Ogunquit Oatie.
Approaching peace in half an hour.
Channeling Hollywood glamour in black and white.
Madonna’s greatest album ever.
Listening to the birds before the lions arrived.
Putting on a flower show in my mind.
A green twist on a popular pasta dish.
The long-lost art of impeccable customer services breeds glamour.
Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.
Ambrosia x Watergate: an Easter salad.
Dazzlers of the Day included Dr. Angela Davis, Regé-Jean Page, Audra McDonald, Tyler Hoechlin, Javier Muñoz and Margaret Cho.
07
March
2021
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March
2021
Ambrosia x Watergate
For the bulk of my four-decade-plus life I’ve despised an ambrosia salad. How the gods would have eaten this canned and artificially-sweet mush of blandness is beyond me. In my older age, however, my tastes have changed and evolved. Things I once derided I now enjoy – pineapple, for instance, and coconut – and so when a Watergate salad recipe made a splash online recently, the kitschy green pastels and 70’s-era ingredients appealed to my sense of nostalgia, and I decided to give the ambrosia another go.
The recipe I based this on was one for Watergate salad, and I added elements of what Andy could recall from his Mom’s ambrosia salad recipe. The result is a hybrid that is now part of our planned Easter lunch festivities, thanks to its fluffy sweetness and pretty pastel color. Modify as desired.
Ambrosia x Watergate salad for Easter Garishness
- 1 package pistachio pudding mix
- 1 can crushed pineapple (liquid too)
- 1 container thawed Cool Whip (mandatory for any kitsch recipe)
- 1 cup marshmallows (the tiny kind, not the big-ass smores kind)
- 1/2 cup sweetened coconut flakes
- 1/2 cup chopped pecans or other nuts (optional)
Method: Mix all the shit together and stir.
07
March
2021
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March
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Margaret Cho
She embodies what the line ‘Ladies with an attitude’ truly means, and Margaret Cho, with an impressive herstory of accomplishments and courage, easily earns this Dazzler of the Day. She continues to wow audiences and the world over with her cutting social commentary and witty delivery, backing it all up with that rarest of Hollywood careers: a long and sustainable one. She’s been trailblazing for decades, and isn’t slowing up anytime soon. Dazzle on, Queen.
07
March
2021
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March
2021
Darling, I’m a Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream
This song came out right around the time when the tide of Taylor Swift was turning for me – I love everything about it. Prickly, defiant, and slightly-psycho – all the things that I once embodied, and reserve the right to embody again – on beautiful display in revenge fantasy form. Behind the glittering curtain we go, into the Blank Space we’ve all occupied or created for someone, the expanse of insanity involved in investing so wholly in someone else, going all-in and giving it all up.
Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin
Saw you there and I thought
“Oh, my God, look at that face”
“You look like my next mistake”
Love’s a game, wanna play?
I CAN MAKE THE BAD GUYS GOOD FOR A WEEKEND…
Loves makes people do crazy things. That which we sometimes confuse as love sometimes makes people do worse. Lust, obsession, and those insensible crushes of our youth – they bring out the worst impulses, turning us into people we wouldn’t recognize in times of peace and reason. This song reminds me of those lovely emotional roller-coasters, and I look back at them almost fondly, in the distance and rare instance of some semblance of personal growth. It’s good to keep such memories filed away so as to ward off any future dips in sanity. We’re all just a few bad decisions away from falling back into the abyss, or slipping into the madness of rage touched on in this piece of pop perfection.
So it’s gonna be forever
Or it’s gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it’s over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They’ll tell you I’m insane
‘Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game
‘Cause we’re young and we’re reckless
We’ll take this way too far
It’ll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They’ll tell you I’m insane
But I’ve got a blank space, baby
And I’ll write your name
The video’s a masterpiece, the kind of thing Madonna once did best – stylized and nuanced, pretty yet packed with considerable punch – and I’ve always been a sucker for those times when beautiful clothes and gorgeous settings provide the backdrop and wardrobe for some serious fucking-over of those who dared to do one wrong. These days I don’t think about such revenge tactics – there are better ways to deal with being wronged. But it’s still fun to fantasize…
Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream…
06
March
2021
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March
2021
Bloody Beauty
The juice of the blood orange, despite all possibly negative connotations that the idea of blood has, is a thing of beauty. This simple mocktail is just some mandarin seltzer combined with the juice of two blood oranges. It’s as pretty as it is simple, and these days I’m all about both. (An easy citrus twist does wonders for any presentation too.)
06
March
2021
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March
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Javier Muñoz
Javier Muñoz was an easy selection as Dazzler of the Day, given his penchant for showstopping, scene-stealing antics in such celebrated shows as ‘In the Heights’ and ‘Hamilton‘ – and his personal triumphs over cancer and HIV give an additional layer of strength and vulnerability to his storied journey. The greatest dazzlers are survivors – on the stage and in their personal lives.
06
March
2021
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March
2021
The Glamour of Impeccable Customer Service
Exceptional customer service seems to be a rarity these days, so whenever I have the privilege and joy of experiencing it I like to call it out. Such was the case with a recent online shopping expedition for the elusive bit of fragrant glory known as ‘Portrait of a Lady’ – a search that brought me to a fortuitous sale and a brush with the kind of detail-oriented work and care that is largely missing from much of the world today. Fragrance rarely goes on sale in the fancy department stores – it’s usually the first thing listed in the fine print of any such percentage off – so when there’s a beauty sale it’s a big deal. Couple that with a generic gift card I’ve had since Christmas, and it seemed a good time to splurge on something I’ve been wanting for at least a year, and if it’s still haunting you after a year you know it’s not a passing whim.
After attempting to use the gift card online in addition to my credit card, it wouldn’t allow the transaction to go through, so I made a call to their headquarters who indicated that I’d have to do it in person with the store. Recalling Andy’s similar situation with a rush order for Tom Ford’s ‘Our Minerale’ before our vacation to Maine, I got in touch with the Bergdorf Goodman store in New York and was told someone would call me back.
Within an hour I got a call from Jason, who helped me out with the transaction, making use of the gift card, the sale, and the friendly guidance of a seasoned professional. It was quick and easy and quite more enjoyable than the frustrating online system – a testament to the power of simple old-fashioned customer service, human to human. At a moment where that feels uncommon and unexpected, such service and support carries its own sense of rarefied glamour, setting a store like Bergdorf Goodman apart from all the rest.
Yesterday, the package of ‘Portrait of a Lady’ arrived, and with it came the goodie bag of all goodie bags, which included a sample of the new Tom Ford Private Blend ‘Tubéreuse Nue’ that I’ve been dying to try, and a quartet of Creed samples that will accentuate the bottles of ‘Aventus’ and ‘Royal Oud’ that currently line my top cologne shelf. The care that had been taken to provide such a happy treat did not go unnoticed, and thanks to Jason and his efforts I feel an allegiance and gladness in returning to Bergdorf Goodman for future fragrance desires.
05
March
2021
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March
2021
A Viral Variation in Green
A variation on this viral TikTok recipe ~ a bed of zucchini, a brick of feta, and some fresh basil, parsley and baby spinach give a green slant to the dinner proceedings, perfectly timed for anyone looking to forego the meat on a Friday in Lent. The baking of the veggies and cheese at 400 degrees is what does most of the work – some saved pasta water makes it as light or as creamy as you like it. Fridays call for simple dinners like this.
05
March
2021
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March
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Tyler Hoechlin
This Man of Steel is winning raves in his current turn as Superman in the most recent re-boot of that ageless superhero. Tyler Hoechlin earns his first Dazzler of the Day after previously stunning with his Hunk of the Day feature. It’s a good Friday when there’s a Hunk who deigns to Dazzle.
05
March
2021
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March
2021
Putting on a Mental Floral Show
It’s been far too many years since I last attended the New England Flower Show – and to be honest I’m not even sure they were having it even prior to COVID. But every March I get the same restless hankering for something that brings me closer to spring. This year my weekly visits to the local greenhouse will have to suffice, where I can take my time walking past African violets like the ones shown here and dreaming of the days when similar blooms will be showing off in the gardens outside.
With the exception of this crazy cactus, we don’t have any indoor plants that bloom. I’ve been toying with the idea of adding a Clivia to our collection, or finding another walking iris, but outside of bloom those are both pretty dull performers. Instead, I’ll force a few bulbs every year (a forgotten bag of Paperwhite narcissus was just discovered on the attic stairs and I immediately plopped them into a vase of water and pebbles – we will see if it’s not too late to salvage a bloom or two, as always seems to happen) but other than that our houseplants are mainly for foliage and form. The older I get the more my tastes seem to shift to the subtle.
That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the blooms seen here. An African violet is a thing of beauty indeed.
04
March
2021
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March
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Audra McDonald
The very first time I witnessed the wonder that is Audra McDonald on stage was in the 1995 production of ‘Master Class’. She has been dazzling audiences ever since, hence this long-overdue Dazzler of the Day honor. While the stage of ‘Master Class’ was cluttered with the chewed-up bits of Zoe Caldwell’s scene-devouring, every time McDonald appeared she stole whatever bit of scenery remained with her luminescent star-power and seemingly-super-human talent. I was mesmerized, and my fandom has been burning brightly ever since.
A couple of years later I was lucky enough to see her turn as Sarah in ‘Ragtime’ where she once again rose above an already-impressive ensemble to achieve new heights with that gloriously soaring voice. Since those indelible Tony-winning performances, she’s gone on to win multiple Tony Awards (so many in fact that she holds the record for Tonys given for performances), made memorable impressions on film, and taken up the admirable mantle of activism in helping out all of us who have been marginalized in some way. She continues to dazzle and astound, and she’s one of those people who just makes me feel that the world is a little better than it sometimes seems.
