Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

The Words of Phillis Wheatley

On Virtue

O thou bright jewel in my aim I strive

To comprehend thee. Thine own words declare

Wisdom is higher than a fool can reach.

I cease to wonder, and no more attempt

Thine height t’explore, or fathom thy profound.

But, O my soul, sink not into despair,

Virtue is near thee, and with gentle hand

Would now embrace thee, hovers o’er thine head.

Fain would the heaven-born soul with her converse,

Then seek, then court her for her promised bliss.

Auspicious queen, thine heavenly pinions spread,

And lead celestial Chastity along;

Lo! now her sacred retinue descends,

Arrayed in glory from the orbs above.

Attend me, Virtue, thro’ my youthful years!

O leave me not to the false joys of time!

But guide my steps to endless life and bliss.

Greatness, or Goodness, say what I shall call thee,

To give an higher appellation still,

Teach me a better strain, a nobler lay,

O Thou, enthroned with Cherubs in the realms of day!”

– Phillis Wheatley
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Dazzler of the Day: Dolly Parton

There aren’t enough fancy superlatives in existence to properly give appreciation for this Dazzler of the Day: Dolly Parton. The name alone conjures myriad images of admiration and unabashed adoration and love. Dolly has done no conceivable wrong for decades, an almost -impossible feat in today’s world of celebrity. It’s thanks to her formidable talent coupled with a down-to-earth understanding of who she is that has enabled her to flourish in fields far too numerous too mention, and in such successful form as to render a full and proper description of her highlights the stuff of multi-volumed biographies. 

For me, my fandom boils down to her acceptance of people as worthy of equality across the board, no matter who you are or where you came from or what you believe. That and her two stunning scene-stealing roles in classics that defined and bookended the 80’s: ‘9 to 5’ and ‘Steel Magnolias’ – each a gay boy’s dream and mandatory chapter in the ‘How To be Gay’ manual.

Dolly’s popularity stretches across the world, and her fans run the gamut from the aforementioned gays to the traditional country music appreciators to the philanthropic-minded community. She was recently offered a statue celebrating her in Tennessee I believe – but politely declined saying it would distract from the more pressing issues at hand. That is grace. That is humility. That is a human being using her compassion to bring others up rather than raise herself higher. Not that she needs further exaltation – she is one of the most beloved entertainers the world has ever known, and her legacy is already signed, sealed and delivered no matter what other remarkable feats she will likely perform in the years to come. That’s part of her enduring appeal – the possibility of something even more astounding around the corner. And so Dolly Parton is our Dazzler of the Day – she practically personifies what this feature is all about – dazzling star power, soul-stirring compassion, and the consistent desire to make the world a better and more fabulous place.

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Tuesday Night in Black and White

Karel Barnoski was playing one of his Tuesday night jams on FaceBook and I was watching a video of the Amsterdam Mall (now Riverfront Center) and suddenly I was brought back to 1983 all over again. That’s what happens on Tuesdays now, I guess. Recalling some remnant of childhood innocence for a moment, I gave myself a brief break – a pause from trying to accept imperfection, a pause in trying to reject perfection – and in that space came the realization that maybe I’m trying too hard, or maybe just about to burn out. There are trying times – we’ve been in such a state since last March, and as we creep up on a full year of living in this way some things may be catching up with me. I’m ok with acknowledging that I’m wiped out, and in these last weeks of winter it seems a good time to re-charge for spring. It helps to own up to that, to take a moment and set down the struggle.

I’ve also learned that sometimes we have to fake it until we make it, to forge the physical manifestations of happiness as a way of willing it into existence. If you force yourself to smile and laugh, it miraculously makes you feel a little happier, no matter how fake or false it might initially feel. (At the very least you may end up making yourself laugh by how ridiculous and silly it all feels – which is accomplishing the very same mission in a roundabout way.) In all these years of posing for selfies and photographs, I’ve learned to fake the little laugh that makes for a better picture, and even if the joy is diminished from the laugh or guffaw that might result from an actual dinner with Suzie or pre-movie jaunt with Skip, it’s still joy, albeit on a much smaller level.

Little joys are all we have.

So smile, and laugh, and preen and pose, as if all was right with the world, because someone has to lead the way.

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Off the Bone, Off the Hook

Fiending for some hint of summer, I approximated a grilled rib summer dinner with an oven-baked slow-burn set of Carolina pork ribs, served with a new take on mac-and-cheese (that infamous feta pasta dish) for a winter turn at this typically summer plate. After baking at a low and steady 275 degrees for over four hours, the meat fell off the bones, and after another bit of broiling, the sauce caramelized and I didn’t even need Andy to put anything on the grill. It will do have to do until the snow melts, and outside grilling can begin in earnest. We’re starting early this year… 

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Dazzler of the Day: Amanda Phingbodhipakkiya

One of the most fascinating spaces that human beings can occupy is the place where art, science, and design meet. Amanda Phingbodhipakkiya, our Dazzler of the Day, exemplifies the power that this magical crux can produce. Her recent artwork for the ‘I Still Believe In Our City’ campaign highlights the mounting racism raging against Asian Americans, while working to heal those wounds with hope and beauty. 

Ms. Phingbodhipakkiya comes from both the scientific and artistic worlds, where a promising passion for ballet was derailed by a skiing accident. After that point she turned to studying neuroscience and researching Alzheimer’s before returning to the artistic world through design and education. The connections between science and art have long flourished beneath the surface – a connection that both scientists and artists intrinsically seem to understand, but that is often lost on the viewer or general public. Phingbodhipakkiya puts this connection front and center in much of her work, simultaneously challenging and celebrating all the ways in which they are intertwined.

Even more powerful is when this sort of work collides with society, as seen thrillingly through her ‘I Still Believe In Our City’ project, which has taken New York by colorful storm in this stunning subway series designed to illuminate the rising anti-Asian racism in the age of COVID-19 and rampant disinformation.

Her work is instantly impactful, vibrant with strong, saturated blocks of color, and features a gloriously diverse array of people – a celebration of the women and people of color Phingbodhipakkiya has sought to highlight in her various fields, particularly in the STEM world. Such representation is vital in telling the many stories of contributions and advancements made by the heretofore-unheralded. Making those who have traditionally been invisible into a visible and potent life-force takes the sort of powerful alchemy that Phingbodhipakkiya explores with striking results.

Visit her website here for a more comprehensive collection of her many accomplishments.

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He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother… and it’s his Birthday

My brother waited, or didn’t wait, until the day that was farthest from my birthday on the calendar year to be born. Ever since then we’ve been perfectly complementary, or perfectly at odds, and rarely has there been a consistently happy median. Over the years, we’ve both retreated from our polar opposite ends and met closer to the middle, while realizing that we are so different we will never be best friends. Once upon a time I mourned that – now I celebrate it as the only way it can be. He’s finding his way toward peace in the best way he knows, and I’m doing the same, and once COVID is done, and better weather is here, we will hopefully have more opportunities to hang out together.

THE ROAD IS LONG
WITH MANY A WINDING TURN
THAT LEADS US TO WHO KNOWS WHERE
WHO KNOWS WHERE
BUT I’M STRONG
STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY HIM
HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY BROTHER
SO ON WE GO
HIS WELFARE IS OF MY CONCERN
NO BURDEN IS HE TO BEAR
WE’LL GET THERE

It always struck me as unfair to him that his birthday had to fall during the school year, that there were times when he would have to be in class on his special day. Yet that didn’t seem to bother him, and it was all he had ever known. He tended to have a few more people for his birthday celebrations than I did (I preferred to spend my day with Suzie at a distant destination like Beaversprite or something). His birthday parties were louder, more rollicking affairs, that found the group of us stomping on balloons tied to our ankles while a clown named Shrinking Violet led us in games and activities. 

These days, as a father of twins about to turn eleven years old, he may wish for something quieter – but maybe he doesn’t. Quiet has never been his brand or his way of life, and on his birthday he deserves whatever form of celebration he wants. We’ll find a way to get together for this one (and Christmas and New Year’s…) one some finer weather, right around the corner. Happy birthday, baby bro!

IF I’M LADEN AT ALL
I’M LADEN WITH SADNESS
THAT EVERYONE’S HEART
ISN’T FILLED WITH THE GLADNESS
OF LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER
IT’S A LONG, LONG ROAD
FROM WHICH THERE IS NO RETURN
WHILE WE’RE ON THE WAY TO THERE
WHY NOT SHARE
AND THE LOAD
DOESN’T WEIGH ME DOWN AT ALL
HE AIN’T HEAVY HE’S MY BROTHER

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Dazzler of the Day: Amanda Gordon

Fresh from her stunning and spellbinding performance delivering the Inaugural poem for President Biden, our Dazzler of the Day is poet Amanda Gordon. She makes history as the youngest inaugural poet, and her book of poetry ‘The Hill We Climb’ will be available this fall. Until then, we have her glorious words and her brilliant voice, lifting up our country when we needed it the most. This is the epitome of what it means to be dazzling. 

{See TheAmandaGordon.com for more inspiration.}

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Cello Lament

Bits and pieces of this music appeared in an impromptu piano duet posted here, and returning to the original source material gives another view, or listen, of this calming collection of notes, so welcome at this stage of winter. This version tells its story through the haunting sound of the cello, which is very close to the human voice. Eerily, and movingly so. It’s a good way to begin the morning, when the light is still gray, and shapes are just shapes, not quite objects yet. 

As snow clings to the spokes of this Japanese umbrella tree, winter casts another spell, unwilling to lament its final days, choosing instead to remind us of what makes it so beautiful and magical. In this little forest of snow, where the hushed sound of the wind moans like nature’s version of the cello, there is a cozy nook of icy cold. The snow dips here, carved by the rush of air and the umbrels above it. A little world of wonder, existing for a song, for a moment, for the beginning of a February day. 

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Evergreen Winter

Limping along slowly, winter is reluctant to move or budge much, but I sense the gradual shift into rising temperatures. Tomorrow we may break into the 40’s, the first of such tropics since last year. Even more telling, our overwintering fig tree in the garage has started to put forth its first tight buds of green – always earlier than is comfortable, with so much winter yet to come – but even if/when that first flush gets pushed back, the signs of life, of spring, are impossible to ignore. In the branches of the juniper out front, the cradled snow begins its mid-day melting.

It will freeze again come night, and colder temperatures, but the glistening sparkle of afternoon respite hints at warmer stretches. We want so badly for spring to arrive. Andy and I stare out the windows, willing the snow to go, willing the winter to rush away. We talk of times when family and friends might gather again, when the weather is nicer, when the world is safer. We live in the space of the future, as much as mindfulness matters, because it feels good to look forward again. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Mike Heslin

For our second outing of dazzlement, Mike Heslin is crowned Dazzler of the Day thanks to his recent hit ‘The Influencers’ in which he wears just about every hat possible. Hailing from California, he’s got an impressive Boston background thanks to a degree from the Boston Conservatory and work at A.R.T. where the genius of Diane Paulus produced such brilliant moments. Any friend of Boston is a friend of mine. Heslin looks to carry out his own brand of brilliance, and in every realm of entertainment that the current madness of the world allows. A deeper dive into his accomplishment may be found at his enchanting website: https://www.mikeheslin.com

Mike Heslin is a director, writer, producer, and actor whose work has appeared on screens and stages across the country. He is the creator, writer, director and performs in the new series ‘The Influencers’  – a scripted mockumentary which follows six social media “stars” vying for a dream brand deal, now streaming on Prime Video.

A California native who made his way to the East Coast to earn a BFA with an emphasis in Directing from the Boston Conservatory, Mike can be seen in the film ‘I Dream Too Much’ (SXSW/Attic Light Films – EP Richard Linklater), on TVLand’s Younger, and in Lifetime’s ‘I love You But I Lied.’ On stage, Mike has appeared in the national tour of the Tony Award-Winning play ‘War Horse’, as well as in ‘Mamma Mia’ and Diane Paulus’s ‘The Donkey Show’ at A.R.T.

He is also known for playing the smooth talking Rupert in ‘Boy•Friends’, a new digital comedy based on the popular and acclaimed web series ‘My Gay Roommate’, which Heslin also produced.

Mike is the proud Co-Founder of Well-Versed Entertainment, a full-service production house, overseeing everything from initial concept and development through production and post-production.

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A Sourdough Start with a Sour Ending: Smelly Nellie

After mastering this no-knead bread recipe that used a packet of active yeast, I got a little too big for my britches, thinking I could create and conquer a sourdough starter from scratch, using whatever yeast was floating in the air. Like some naive mad-scientist, I eagerly read up on various methods of making one’s own sourdough starter, settling for a seven-day endeavor that seemed easy enough. It began with some whole wheat flour and filtered water, set up in a dim, warm place and a mason jar, and on that first day things started happening according to plan. 

I followed each step, at the proper intervals, powering through the funky-wet-sock odor of days two and three and four, watching and tracking its rise and fall, feeding it with bread flour and lukewarm filtered water every day, and then on the nights when it was hungry again. Everything seemed to be coming together and advancing as expected. The smelliness slowly subsided into a more beer-like yeasty scent, and the rises and falls were more dramatic, until after a week it seemed that it was time. So well had it gone, that I named my starter ‘Nellie’ for its smelly beginning, and my own adoration of Nellie Oleson from ‘Little House on the Prairie’. (What? You think I’d adore someone as basic as Laura Ingalls? Please. Nellie are I are deep calling to deep.) It is said that the naming process is an important part of creating a proper sourdough starter. It builds trust, and a bit of a bond that makes it all taste better. Unfortunately, Nellie was about to turn on me like a pet monkey. 

Following a simple sourdough starter bread recipe, I crafted the dough you see here using the starter, and let it “rise” for 24 hours. It bubbled and expanded a bit, but nothing like the product a simple packet of active yeast had produced for me in the near past. In fact, when I poured it out of its bowl, it became a literal pour that no amount of flour could solidify or correct. Nellie, hating her name or hating her environs or simply hating for the sake of hating, refused to contribute to this batch of bread. In fact, she had seemingly worked to deconstruct my dough, inhibiting any natural rise that the bread flour would have made, turning it into liquid mush. Maybe she just didn’t like her name. 

This dismal cooking catastrophe, one of the worst when you consider the time invested, has soured me completely on sourdough. I will stick to my simple no-knead bread from a packet of yeast and do things the old-fashioned, simpler way. Perhaps one day when I’m retired, and have more time to monitor things such as the intricate rise and fall of a starter mix, I’ll try the sourdough thing again. And I won’t name her Nellie. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Glen Hanson

There are only a few times when cultural milestones and artistic talent merge into one magnificent moment of synergistic beauty and power. This image by Glen Hanson is one such magical burst of the kind of kismet that is all too rare, and all the more exquisite for it. Inspired by the recent inauguration of President Biden, it features the powerful women that played as much a part (maybe more?) in his victory as he did.

Artist Glen Hanson is no stranger to powerful images, striking combinations of color and cunning detail, while capturing the essence of the subject and somehow imbuing it with a new grace and potency that conveys the original while adding an extra level of fabulousness. Hanson’s artwork has long impressed me, and just about everyone else. He takes caricature to a whole new art form, managing to convey exactly who he is depicting and somehow revealing a little more truth to who they are, perhaps more than even the subject realizes. That takes an understanding of beauty, the talent to cull those features that are most telling, and the delicate art of judicious editing that eliminates distractions, distilling an image to its most primal and evocative elements.

Glen Hanson is also our very first Dazzler of the Day – the magnificent sort of creature who takes the place of our former Hunk of the Day feature, opening up this space for something that transcends the label of ‘hunk’ into something more expansive that allows for every single one of us to dazzle. And what an impressive cherry-popping endeavor Hanson has undertaken, but in the words of Reading Rainbow, you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s part of his impressive bio from his own website:

From the runways of Milan, to Animated TV shows, magazine racks, toy stores, book shelves and even the fragrance isle of your local drug store, Glen Hanson’s witty, stylish and sexy imagery is everywhere!

Over the course of his multifaceted career, Glen has predominantly divided his time between the two worlds of illustration and animation. 

His illustrations have appeared in a variety of publications around the world including BRITISH VOGUE and GQ, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, NEWSWEEK, THE WALL ST. JOURNAL, MAXIM, VARIETY and D.C. COMICS and on book covers for RANDOM HOUSE, KENSINGTON, HARLEQUIN, and most recently, the popular “GODDESS GIRLS” series for SIMON & SCHUSTER. 

His roster of advertising clients includes TIMEX, GRAND MARNIER, McDonald’s, and SUNSILK shampoo. His development illustrations for MATTEL’S “MONSTER HIGH” dolls set the tone for the brand on packaging, design and the animated spin off. He has created poster images for the Off-Broadway hit musical “ALTAR BOYZ”, Seth Rudetsky’s “SETH’S BIG FAT BROADWAY SHOW” and the play “MISS ABIGAIL’S GUIDE TO DATING, MATING and MARRIAGE”, on CD covers for House Music Label PURPLE MUSIC and BLINK 182’s “THE MARK, TOM and TRAVIS SHOW” for which Glen was awarded a certificate of excellence from the AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF GRAPHIC ARTS.

Throughout North America, Glen’s images adorn gift set boxes and print ads for BOD men’s and women’s fragrance products. They have also appeared on the runways of Milan on a series of t-shirts as part of the spring and fall ’05 collections of European men’s wear designer, ANDREW MACKENZIE. Ads designed by Glen for those collections were featured in both L’UOMO VOGUE and FLAUNT magazines. REV JEANS Italy as well hired him to create a line of sexy t-shirt images and NYC based designer KARA ROSS has used his fashion illustrations to promote her line of high end accessories.

In Animation, Glen started out by designing characters for TV’s BABAR, BEETLEJUICE and DARIA cartoon shows. In 2000 he was nominated for an ANNIE AWARD for his art direction and design on MTV’s internationally syndicated SPY GROOVE series. He has since developed shows for NICKELODEON, FILM ROMAN, STUDIO B, and DISNEY. He co-wrote, designed and storyboarded a series of animated promo spots for SOAP NET entitled “CRESCENT HOLLOW” and in 2009 he combined all his talents to direct, design and storyboard the animated music video “GHOST TOWN” for UNIVERSAL MUSIC recording artists SHINY TOY GUNS. 

Whatever the medium, Glen brings his unique talent, passion and enthusiasm to everything he creates… writing comics and TV shows, conceptualizing visual merchandise and campaigns for entertainment or corporate clients, or just capturing the likenesses of the famous and the fabulous with his signature style.

{Find more of Hanson’s brilliance at this website: http://www.glenhanson.com/index.php}

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A Final Recap in February

Yes indeed, this is the final recap that will have the displeasure of taking place in the month of February – as one week from today marks the first of March! Hurry, let’s hustle and bustle through this last week of February – spring arrives next month no matter what. 

It was a week voiced by Nina Simone

Stargazing toward summer

Winter hunters.

The ice day cometh.

That famous feta pasta dish (if you can find any feta). 

The words of Zora Neale Hurston.

Lenten poses.

The first happy faces of a new season.

Modest grace.

A cookie for breakfast.

Light & peace.

The words of Leymah Gbowee

Winter and Glass.

Preparing to dazzle

The words of Audre Lorde.

Those almost-imperceptible sounds of spring

Retiring the ‘Hunk of the Day’ feature, because no hunk can last forever, but the dazzling will endure. 

Who needs clothes? Apparently Tom Ford. And me. 

More wisdom from James Baldwin.

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More Wisdom from James Baldwin

“Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time. Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, the only fact we have. It seems to me that one ought to rejoice in the fact of death–ought to decide, indeed, to earn one’s death by confronting with passion the conundrum of life. One is responsible for life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return.” ~ James Baldwin

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Who Needs New Clothes?

“The thought of designing a collection seemed frivolous when so many important and disturbing things were happening in our world. As this all dragged from spring into the summer and as I think we could all feel a global depression [both financial and psychological] worsening I thought about skipping the season altogether. After all when no one can go out of their house, who needs new clothes?

There was a light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least an imaginary light: the hope of a happier time to come. That is what this collection is for me: the hope of a happier time. Still a somewhat casual moment as it relates to fashion but a time in which we need clothes that make us smile. Clothes that make us feel good.” – Tom Ford

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