Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Restarting the mood on March 1st began with a step outside. 

The air was still and cold, but not unbearably so. It was above freezing, and water droplets hung from the Chinese dogwood branches. It didn’t feel like lion weather, so the old adage for March entering like that majestic beast had not yet come to pass. This early in the morning, before work, before the delivery trucks rumbled by, before the mailman made his stop, the stillness of the start of a new month – the month in which spring arrives – felt rife with a strange and almost-unfamiliar sense of hope. I think it was the birdsong that surrounded me.

Glorious, continuous, all-encompassing birdsong filled the air – birds were suddenly in the trees and the bushes and the sky – their chirping and calls a most wonderful symphony. It was service to the soul, a long deep drink that quenched a parched thirst I had’t quite realized was there from all the winter silence. Such peace was not to last, nor were these droplets on the dogwood tree. 

When the work day was done, I sat down to a meditation, while outside the wind picked up. It would continue to grow, howling and raging and announcing that the birds were gone and the lion had arrived. March begins again, with a roar.

“There are many things in your heart you can never tell to another person. They are you, your private joys and sorrows, and you can never tell them. You cheapen yourself, the inside of yourself, when you tell them.” ~ Greta Garbo

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

“Glamour is what I sell, it’s my stock in trade.” ~ Marlene Dietrich

“I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn’t know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of soft drink.” ~ Joe DiMaggio

“I don’t think that people generally realize what the motion picture industry has done to the American Indian, as a matter of fact, all ethnic groups. All minorities. All non-whites. People just simply don’t realize. They take it for granted that that’s the way people are going to be presented and that these cliches are just going to be perpetuated.” ~ Marlon Brando

“You try to be yourself, do only what you’ve always done and like to do, and right away, you’re tagged as an oddball.” ~ James Dean

“I was constantly falling in love, and it never occurred to me that this was wrong or bad.” ~ Grace Kelly

“Women like me because I don’t look like a girl who would steal a husband. At least not for long.” ~ Jean Harlow

“You dance love, and you dance joy, and you dance dreams. And I know if I can make you smile by jumping over a couple of couches or running through a rainstorm, then I’ll be very glad to be a song and dance man.” ~ Gene Kelly

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” ~ Fred Astaire

“When two people love each other, they don’t look at each other, they look in the same direction.” ~ Ginger Rogers

“All I wanted was just what everybody else wants, you know, to be loved.” ~ Rita Hayworth

“You can’t start worrying about what’s going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what’s happening now.” ~ Lauren Bacall

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.” ~ Katharine Hepburn

“Humor has been the balm of my life, but it’s been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.” ~ Lana Turner

“In this business, until you’re known as a monster, you’re not a star.” ~ Bette Davis (we love you)

Let’s do some spring cleaning and excise the remnants of the last week of February here, then quickly move forward into the month in which spring makes its grand, and much welcome, return. On with the recap…

The Hunk of the Day feature was retired, and in its place was born the Dazzler of the Day. First up was artist Glen Hanson.

Named after Nellie Olsen, my very first (and last) sourdough starter turned on me like a pet monkey. 

Mike Heslin dazzled with his Renaissance-like dabbling across the entertainment boards. 

Evergreen winter.

Cello lament.

After delivering her stunning Inaugural poem, Amanda Gordon earned this Dazzler of the Day feature.

My baby brother’s birthday.

Amanda Phingbodhipakkiya has been inspiring New York with her anti-racism campaign ‘I Still Believe in Our City’ at a time when anti-Asian acts of violence have been on the rise. 

Off the bone and off the hook.

Tuesday night in black and white.

My friend JoAnn requested Dolly Parton as a Dazzler of the Day, and she was rightfully instated that instant.

The words of Phillis Wheatley.

Rediscovering ‘The Way Back Home’ – the biography of Suzie’s father. 

The very first double Dazzler of the Day with Calvin and Bryan: I babysat the former and played cards with the grandmother of the latter. Damn, I’m old. 

Snow Moon mayhem.

Capping off a week of the new Dazzler of the Day feature, Ryan Landry ended things on an inspiring note.

A Burmese sweet treat.

This meme beats everything Madonna has posted on her Instagram account since she started it. 

Yeah, I said it. 

(Still love you, Material Girl.)

Like the recent bout of Mercury in retrograde, I didn’t have any inkling of when the next full moon was until the 25th. when I was out running errands and I witness three almost-accidents, and a number of crazy-questionable moves made by drivers and people who were out of their freaking minds. Once parked, I did a quick check on full moons for 2021, and there it was listed as next: the Snow Moon on February 27. Suddenly things made sense, and as annoying as it was, it set my mind slightly at ease, even when I lost an ice cream dessert when I got home later that night – still no idea where it went, but it’s melting somewhere. 

I’d been noticing similar agitations over the past few days: Andy’s been moping about causing me to retreat into the basement, angry about the latest car drama over his Audi. That car has been in the shop more than it’s been out of the shop over the last month, and it has almost killed us on occasion. Putting that down on record now in the event that something does eventually happen. Audi is on notice, as Andy has been telling them for months now. 

The rest of the world is similarly in an annoyed state, and as someone who is easily influenced, sponging up the surrounding attitudes like some dry super-absorbent fabric tossed onto a puddle, I’ve been in a state of bother for longer than I typically allow. At such moments, I find it wise to keep quiet and close to home, focusing on meditation and reading and buffering the outside world.