Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

A Mother’s Presence

Andy’s Mom saved him a hybrid lilac bush before she died, and in the spring that we moved into our home it was one of the first things we planted in the backyard. Since then, it has slowly (and some years quickly) spread beyond its intended space, sending out suckers far into the lawn and resulting in new plants ready to be transplanted. I’ve established two more healthy clumps in other areas, adding to the pretty, perfumed merriment. Every time they come into bloom, I’m reminded of his Mom and her love of gardening – and of lilacs. 

This variety has a heavy, double bloom – a fancier and frillier version of the common single variety, and just as pungent in the perfume department. A single stalk will fill an entire room with its intoxicating fragrance, signaling spring and hope and the giddy glide to summer. 

Lilacs carry other memories for us – particularly of our Memorial Day vacations to Ogunquit, Maine, which we are returning to this year after being absent for too long. Their bushes were usually right behind ours, so just as ours were tapering off, we would head north and find them still in the midst of their sweet blooming season. Hopefully our timing will work out in a few weeks. 

In the meantime, I pause each and every time I’m outside and anywhere near their vicinity. Stopping to smell the flowers is something that should be part of everyone’s life – and this week it’s a literal practice of love. A memory of Andy’s sweet Mum on this Mother’s Day. 

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Mothers make the world go around, and if there’s one person who has kept our family functioning and together over the years, it has been my Mom. While we honor her publicly on this day, we honor her every day because our family wouldn’t be here without her. As my Dad’s health has deteriorated, she has been the person taking care of him and providing the bit of stability that we need as the days grow more difficult. It’s a trying task – all of us are getting older and requiring more care it seems – yet she deals with it like the boss she is. We’ve been very lucky in that respect – her years of nursing and caregiving have enabled her to deal with things the rest of us wouldn’t be able to handle, and I am grateful for every day that my Dad has had her by his side. 

On this year, I’m sending this Mother’s Day wish to my Mom in the hopes that she has a wonderful, relaxing day, and as a way of thanking her for all of the years she gave so much of herself to her family. God knows the Ilagan men are not always, or often, easy to deal with, but through her love and guidance I know she made us all a little bit better. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom – I love you.

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The Happiest Place on Earth

For me, that will alway be Boston.

From childhood moments to coming-of-age events, Boston has provided the backdrop to some of the most pivotal events in my life, and while not all of them could ever be construed as happy or even enjoyable, the overall arc is one of rich and wonderful experience, especially when it comes to our wedding day, and all the lovely anniversaries that followed. That continues this weekend, as we once again enjoy this fair city that is at its best at this time of the year. 

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Naked in the Garden

According to Wiki-freaking-pedia, today is World Naked Gardening Day, which is hilariously described as “an annual international event generally celebrated on the first Saturday of May by gardeners and non-gardeners alike.” As a gardener, I’m all for celebrating gardening events, though I will say that gardening while naked is foolish at best, and quite dangerous at worst. But as the past has proven, it’s not that perilous to take a few photos pretending, and this is the sort of harmless quasi-holiday that deserves more celebration. Particularly in a time when staying home is the new going out. 

 

 

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Our Garden Wedding

The morning of May 7, 2010 dawned in sunny fashion, and as I walked out of the bedroom and into the living room of our suite at what was then the Taj Hotel, I paused in the quiet start of the day. Looking out over the Boston Public Garden, at the fresh green canopy of trees and the swans in the distance, I felt keenly, and wonderfully, the day of demarcation from the technically-single life behind me and the married life before me. In that hushed morning, I waited for Andy to stir, and soon we would cross the street to the Garden, where we would meet up with family and friends to officially be married

Today marks our 12th wedding anniversary – a dozen years of adventure, laughs, and love – and we will hopefully go through our usual anniversary traditions, in whatever form they might take in this new world. Having made it through the rough times, the tedious doldrums of life, and the way it wears on the best of romances – especially in the isolation of a worldwide pandemic – Andy and I have found a new respect for one another, and for our marriage. It’s a different sort of love that sustains us now, but I still feel the instant affection and thrill that I did twenty-two years ago when we first met. There’s no one I would rather share this life with, to sit in the Garden and watch the squirrels and swans go by…

Happy Anniversary Andy – I love you. 

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The Portuguese Egg Tart

Behold the magnificent Pastéis de Nata!

These Portuguese egg tarts are one of the most delicious things our wayward world has to offer. Our friend Ali brings them whenever she visits, which makes her visits even more special than they already are – lending a festive aspect of the extraordinary to those fabulous weekends. She just accompanied JoAnn for a get-away here and brought a box, and we’ve been enjoying them every day since. She advised to sprinkle some cinnamon on them, then heat them for a bit, and that makes all the difference. A little but of rustic decadence that is good for breakfast, ideal for a midday snack, and perfect for a dessert after dinner – in other words, we eat these at all times of the day until we’ve gone through an entire box. Thank you, Ali! 

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When Staying Afloat Must Be Enough

With Mercury about to enter retrograde motion, work threatening to overwhelm, and family and fiends keeping me on my toes, this week, like many recent weeks, has been about staying afloat and getting through the damn days. On a recent rainy morning, the sky all dim and overcast, the struggle of merely getting out of bed was more than real, and rather than fight it, I immediately went into what not constitutes my stress-reaction ~ a slow mode of Ujjayi breathing.

Narrowing the wind-pipe, I slowly inhaled, the distant sounds of the ocean replicated as Andy stirred sightly beside me. Pausing for the slightest bit at the crest, I then slowly exhaled, taking about twice as long as the inhale – about seven seconds in and fourteen seconds out. Beginning the day in this manner, and continuing this style of breathing as I prepared for the office, would set the tone and see me through whatever the world had in store. It’s a benefit of consistent meditation to be able to slide into such a mode whenever a bit of calm is needed, and I was suddenly grateful for the practice. 

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A Spring Evening Invitation

The day had been gray, and evening fell sooner than expected. A single lamp glowed on an entry table, beside a vase of tulips. The mood was… moody, and embodied by this Les Baxter piece called ‘Invitation’. A lovely sentiment for a rainy afternoon, and the ideal song for an entry room where one wants the atmosphere to be inviting. 

Setting such a scene is a simple endeavor – it’s all about the lighting, the flowers, and the music. When you have that, the rest is just dressing. Come on in, and have a seat upon the conversation couch. It’s comfortable here, and designed for rest and easy living. There are no rigid chair backs, no formal arrangements, no rules or restrictions. It is a place for ease and gentle unwinding. An evening of calm, and some clever music to light the night with Les Baxter. It does set a scene. 

 

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Greenhouse Glory

When spring is stalled and the nights are still too cold to put out the tropical potted plants, I find solace in the local greenhouse – in this case Faddegon’s – where the plants are warm and toasty and in full bloom. The colors are wildly vibrant, especially after such a drawn-out and dull winter, and they bring to mind hints of summer and sunny days. 

Is there a happier sight than a hibiscus in gloriously full bloom? With their throats of scarlet or cream and frilled petals of salmon and sunshine, they make for happy faces indeed. 

Deeper in the greenhouse was this hanging specimen, with little purple and white bunches of flowers – another tropical treat that is perfectly at home indoors when the winds wail and the night temperature drops. 

And so we wait for the outside to catch up with the inside, and for spring to offer something slightly more pleasant before summer storms in without any sort of temperate moderation whatsoever. 

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Nursery Times

While our small yard doesn’t afford space for all the things I’d love to grow, the local nursery allows for perusal of all the plants on offer right now, and these photos give a taste of what won’t be seen in our garden this year. A tantalizing tease, perhaps, or reality for those of you with the space.

 

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Boston Begins Its Parade of Beauty

In advance of our wedding anniversary coming up this weekend, I stopped by our Boston digs to prepare the way, and the city was just starting to open up its blooms. This is a magical stretch of time of the year in Boston – the marathon is done, the colleges are just about to let out, and the swan boats have returned to the Public Garden. It’s the perfect time to celebrate a wedding, or anniversary, and after the last couple of years, a return to the simple joy of such a weekend is quite welcome.

The flowers are already joining in the festivities, lending their beauty and charm to the atmosphere. Once the Korean viburnum and the apple trees come into bloom, the perfume will be intoxicating, as much for its sweet fragrance as for its fleeting elusiveness. 

Some of these spring flowers whisper quietly in subdued shades and small stature – those are sometimes the most charming, as they go unnoticed by the many, and such secrecy is often an under-appreciated element of joy. 

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Happy and Bright

This space needed a little jolt of happy energy, and so this pair of photos is intended to lift us up a bit until the weather more fully embodies the season. These flowers remind me of summer vacation, where they often populate the potted plantings of seaside towns and summer homes. I may grow a few myself this year, but we are not yet at the frost-free date, and this year I’m not chancing anything. 

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Everything’s Coming Up Rainbows

June 12, 2022 will mark the return of the Capital Pride Parade and Festival – a tradition that Albany has maintained since 1970 in some way or fashion. It feels especially important this year, with so many awful turns our country has taken in going backwards regarding equality and basic human rights. We are also in a tumultuous time where some have begun to question the simple need for an LGBTQ+ Pride Events (is Boston even having an official Pride celebration this year?)

I’ve always maintained that as long as there are people who are trying to take away or deny us our rights, and as long as there is homophobia, then yes, there is a definite need for it. And even if those things went away, there would still be a need to remember and honor all of those who fought and died for whatever we have today. Besides, the world needs some joy and love, and there is no more joyful and loving place than a Pride Parade and Festival.

Check out the Capital Pride Center’s page on this year’s Capital Pride Parade and Festival to find out ways in which you can take part in this important event. 

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Dazzler of the Day: JORDY

A person with such insouciant charm and magnetism deserves to have their names in all caps, and today we honor JORDY as Dazzler of the Day thanks to his creative talent and transfixing personality. His website offers more enchantment for those seeking to solve his mysteries, and he was recently announced as one of the headliners for this year’s Capital Pride Festival in Albany. His music, filled with catchy hooks and pop melodies, focuses on love and loneliness, giving listeners just a little bit more to chew on than your average pop song. 

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A Recap now that we are in May

A spring weekend straddling April and May, and filled with friends and family, is the surest way to bring about a sense of relaxed joy, and after the previous week it was definitely needed. As we prepare to head into another stretch of Mercury in retrograde, it will be important to stay grounded and calm, and accept the mishaps and calamities with humor and grace. I saw this more to myself than anyone else. On with the recap…

High maintenance my ass

Flaccid flawlessness.

Holding a place with prettiness

It turns out I have a big problem with liars, hypocrites, and mediocre journalists

A glimpse of fire.

A cake of lavender and love

The end of childhood innocence.

Grieving the death of a childhood friend, 30 years later.

Dazzlers of the Day included Damon L. Jacobs, Jesse Lee SofferMichelle Yeoh and Sean Murphy.

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