Twenty-two years into a relationship with someone, it’s sometimes difficult to find those moments of romance and intimacy, but every once in a while a romantic night surprises and unexpectedly delights with the simple gratitude of sitting next to your husband at dinner and a show.
In the same way that I got him to sit through ‘The House of Mirth’ and any film with subtitles (hello ‘Crouching Dragon, Hidden Dragon’), I intentionally neglected to mention it was a Taylor Swift concert, he just thought it was a classical show. There is a photo I snapped when he realized what was happening, but that’s just for me. Happily, he said he enjoyed it, and we both loved visiting the revamped Kenmore Ballroom for the first time.
It was during ‘Blank Space’ that I suddenly had that lovely feeling of gratitude and appreciation for Andy wash over me, the same way it has happened sporadically over the years, most memorably in this dinner overlooking all of Boston as we planned our wedding.
The next day, I was sitting in Starbucks with a pistachio latte (my latest unhealthy obsession) and this version of ‘Blank Space’ came over the speakers, which was the universe’s way of cementing this romantic moment in my happy memory firmament.
But I’ve got a blank space, baby And I’ll write your name…
Non-binary pop superstar Sam Smith (recently of the #1 smash ‘Unholy’) has been a lightning rod for pop culture notoriety, with talk disparaging their looks, gender, weight, and all sorts of things other than their music. All of that is distracting nonsense which says much more about the people talking than it does about Smith, who has been riding high over all of it, gleefully and rightfully flaunting their beautiful body in sequins, ruffles, pantsuits, and feathers – and I am here for all of it.
Check out the jaw-dropping excess of their latest single ‘I’m Not Here to Make Friends’ which simply fills every floor with the drool of the thirsty and the panting the entire world over; an absolutely mandatory exercise in modern-day fabulosity, it must be seen to be studied and adored, and I’m happy to report that even at this late stage of my game, I was completely floored. This is the stuff of artistic legend and pop legacy. It’s also why Sam Smith is winningly crowned Dazzler of the Day, for what is likely not the last time.
Lavender has threaded a magical way through all seasons of the year, its soothing and calming effects rightly renowned, and it has formed an integral part of everything from cocktails and mocktails to sachets and bouquets. It’s a fragrance that we use year-round, in room diffusers to aid with sleeping and in essential oils to add a scent of serenity to any moment that requires a little bit of calming. While its bloom time is high summer in the garden, I’ve taken to using it on snowy days to counter the ill-effects of a winter held too long.
Tom Ford briefly introduced the world to his first lavender creation, ‘Lavender Palm’, a number of years ago. Originally billed as an ode to California, it is one of the finest lavender fragrances I’ve encountered. Carrying an aromatic heart, slightly redolent of herbs thanks to the lavender, clary sage and bergamot opening, it transforms into something that reverberates as a slight fougere, with a dry down that reveals vetiver and oak moss. Imbuing a refined elegance and sophistication to the raw and slightly rough essence of natural lavender, Ford’s version lends it a silvery sheen, something he expands upon with the flanker ‘Lavender Extreme’.
My friend JoAnn, longtime adorer of all things lavender, found a bottle of ‘Lavender Extreme’ but it wasn’t quite what she was expecting, so she was good enough to gift it to me. I find it a slightly more powdery take on the original, something softer and more suited to indoor winter days of cashmere and tea, or summer mornings in the fleeting hours before it gets too overbearingly hot. ‘Lavender Palm’, on the other hand, is one of those elusive Private Blends that works well on any given day of the year. That’s part of the magic of lavender.
I also find that ‘Lavender Palm’ is the more lasting and potent of the two, which is slightly annoying given the ‘Lavender Extreme’ moniker. That said, it’s a minor annoyance, easily remedied by being decadently indulgent and blending the two. At this time of the year, it’s ok to be a little decadent. The more divine, the better.
When Taylor Swift premiered her ‘Lavender Haze’ video, it felt a fitting time to rediscover both ‘Lavender Palm’ and ‘Lavender Extreme’, so I tried some of the Extreme for some fun photo preening and posing late at night, and some of the Palm for a family birthday gathering. Swift’s reference comes from the historical version of the lavender haze – a state of love focused on that early infatuation period – the moment that only the very lucky among us can remember and inhabit, and I count myself extremely lucky, as Andy is the one who gave me that rare bottle of ‘Lavender Palm’.
Fresh off a riotous appearance on Ari Melber’s show, Matt Friend is crowned Dazzler of the Day thanks to a prolific roster of spot-on hilarious impersonations of celebrities and politicians (or both when they so disastrously meet). He’s made a notable name for himself on Tik Tok, and appears poised on the brink of breaking through just about everywhere else. Check out his website here, and the brief bio culled from there below.
Matthew Friend is an old soul living inside a 23-year-old impressionist’s body. Matthew graduated from NYU’s Gallatin School in 2020, but his love of comedy and entertainment was sparked when he was four years old. He had watched Austin Powers (yes, as a four-year-old) and started mimicking the characters’ voices—and the rest was history. To date, Matthew has almost 350K followers on TikTok. He has appeared on the Today Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, NBC’s New York Live TV, Good Day LA, Good Day NY, and WGN. In 2019, Matthew won Kenan Thompson’s Ultimate Comedy Experience at Carolines on Broadway. His professional experience includes hosting HQ Trivia, performing at corporate events, and doing stand-up comedy throughout the country. Matthew’s repertoire includes more than 250 impressions ranging from Rami Malek to Timothee Chalamet. His favorite to do right now is Jennifer Coolidge.
Matthew’s love of comedy and entertainment began when he was four years old after he discovered the Austin Powers DVD in his house. watched it so much that he began to mimic the characters’ gestures and words. “Do I make you randy?” echoed through his head every day. Matthew quickly found that he was able to make people laugh just by reproducing someone else’s persona. He spent countless hours in his room, scrolling through YouTube, digging up Johnny Carson, Don Rickles, Frank Sinatra, and Rich Little clips.
The longest month of the winter finishes up tomorrow, and for the most part it’s been relatively good to us. Embracing winter and all its gray glory, I’m snuggling into the idea of hygge when the days grow especially dim, but thanks to friends and family, even the dark days have had their fill of light. On with this recap, and turning the first page of the 2023 calendar…
While some parts of my hometown make me rather sad/mad, there are some that make me incredibly happy, and that was in full evidence when I picked up breakfast for my parents from DomAdi’s Deli. One of the specials that morning was this breakfast wrap, named for Bitsy, so whoever Bitsy is I would like to personally thank them for inspiring such deliciousness. A glorious mash-up of scrambled eggs, bacon, American cheese, and a hash brown, it was the perfect wrap with which to start the day.
As I was standing in line to order, a gentleman remarked how he kept coming back there because the food was so good. That’s the sort of fabled hometown affability that goes unmentioned and unheralded too often, and whenever I experience it I want to celebrate and amplify the message. It’s also infectious, and as I headed downtown to the post office, the sun was shining through the winter, the sky was blue, and the friendly gentleman taking my stamp order responded as happily as I requested it. No matter where I go in life, and no mater where I’ve been, I’ll always be a son of Amsterdam.
Back to Bitsy and DomAdi’s Deli – the food was indeed remarkable. For the upcoming ‘A Taste of Amsterdam‘ (Feb. 6 to 12), they will be offering a dinner special which includes a Korean bulgogi sub and slice of chocolate cake for $18.85 (since 1885 was the year Amsterdam was established) – and that combo sounds like my idea of heaven.
DomAdi’s is located right off the Thruway at Exit 27, so even if you’re not an Amsterdam local it’s an easy stopover to pick up a meal. Check out their FaceBook page here for updated daily specials – that’s how I found out about Bitsy’s Breakfast Special Wrap. (And be sure to say hello to the fabulous Elizabeth when you’re there – we went to high school together and somehow she doesn’t hate me.)
A propensity for quoting rap and hip-hop songs and lyrics is not often found in mainstream news anchors, but Ari Melber is brilliantly bucking that trend on his ever-entertaining show ‘The Beat with Ari Melber’. In today’s political world, where the news is more depressing and dismal and hopeless with each passing day of non-indictments, Melber provides a healthy dose of humor along with intelligent and helpful analysis of political proceedings from a legal standpoint. He can loop an obscure deep-cut lyrical excerpt into a conversation on a deadly insurrection and somehow make it all work. Melber earns this Dazzler of the Day thanks largely to making political news something as necessary as it is entertaining. Check out his site here for all his current appearances.
A polarizing place since its inception (and many of the ensuing years since), the Amsterdam Mall, now called the Riverfront Center, was once the site of some of my childhood memories, and they were mostly happy ones. Now it’s mostly medical offices and a service center or two. I’d been meaning to revisit the space for a few years, and finally got around to stepping back inside its orange-carpeted glory yesterday, where I spent a few scant minutes before being escorted off the premises. But I’m jumping ahead…
Some of my earliest childhood memories took place at the Amsterdam Mall. I remember buying shoes at Buster Brown’s and lamenting when we would be dragged into Gabby’s for clothes. (Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t born this way: once upon a time I despised shopping for clothes.) I remember when the mall expanded, dividing a downtown and a city that was already known for its Division Street. Mr. B’s Best, Smile-A-While and The Carl Co. all vied for the attention of shoppers. It seems strange to think that the place was once bustling, but on a Friday night in the 80’s there was no other place to be.
When I planned returning and taking a few pictures of what the mall had become, I anticipated a warm and nostalgic look back, backed by a few photos of what I assumed were some of the same plants that had been slowly growing skyward for over the last three decades. I remembered these same draceana and ficus. The idea that they had lasted all these years, that somehow they had been tended and cared for enough to survive gave me a sense of reassurance, a sliver of hope that maybe some things could be sustained, if not carefully cultivated, and given enough attention they could still be reaching for the sky. That’s the story I wanted to write, even if I found the mall in a sadder state. I did not expect to find it in such a sorry shambles.
I entered on the second floor, near the site of what was once Cinema 4, where I saw the first movies of my life, and the ones that formed those first memories: ‘Return of the Jedi’, ‘The Goonies’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ ‘Batman’ and ‘Truth or Dare’.
Snapping a few photos of the empty expanse, I noticed first one, then multiple five-gallon plastic buckets, placed sporadically around to catch what I assumed were leaks. They littered the vast empty place, while in one corner a security guard sat with his head down, perhaps half-asleep, as no one bothered me as I took a few more pictures.
Waking down the stationary escalators, I passed the towering plants – the dracaena and ficus that I remembered, beside which stood a few stands of peace lilies. They held their dark evergreen leaves in arching form, a bit tattered but still alive, still deep green. I passed the large store-front where McCrory’s once stood, then the space where The Carl Co. extended its elegant footprint. Heading into the small part of what was once the original mall, the structure changed, and above me the light-filled atrium provided perfect habitat for a few more potted ficus trees which stretched to the top of the ceiling.
Along the rafters of this section I heard a rustling and looked up, where I caught a pair of squirrels running along the length of the place, skirting between electrical wires and the deteriorating walls. I snapped a few photos of the trees and got a bit of video of one of the squirrels, it being relatively rare to catch a squirrel indoors these days. At that point I heard a shout from the darkness of the mall, and saw the security guard making his way toward me.
He asked me what I was doing and I said I had grown up here and was taking pictures for a blog post I was going to write. “Which blog?” he asked gruffly.
“ALANILAGAN.com,” I said, stifling the ‘duh’ I wanted to add at the end, and fully expecting him not to have a clue what it was. Of course, he didn’t, so I’m not sure why he asked. What blog would it have been ok for?
He said that someone came in the mall last week and took pictures then “tore the place up online” and that’s why the owner doesn’t want any pictures being taken as it was private property except for the offices. I said I was planning on writing a story of my memories here, with some photos to accompany it, but I would no longer include the photos, and the story would have a very different ending now. He then escorted me unceremoniously out of the building. (Not even a hint of ceremony!)
Full disclosure that should come as no surprise to anyone: this was not the first time I was reprimanded for taking photos inside the Amsterdam Mall. Back in the 90’s, there was a period when I took pictures of everything and everyone, including our weekend romps at the mall. I actually have a photo somewhere of a puffy guy in a security outfit extending his hand toward me as he was telling me no pics were allowed in the mall. That was in the early 90’s. Maybe I should be reassured that some things haven’t changed.
As for this blog post, I originally wanted to write something sweet and nostalgic, and I had a few plant photos that actually made the place seem halfway inhabitable. However, since they didn’t want me to post any, you’ll have to make do with this description, and wonder at the safety and cleanliness of a place that houses medical offices and has squirrels running rogue through its hallways and a dozen buckets scattered throughout to catch the leaks. And I suppose I should be grateful for the new blog post idea, because given the abysmal state of things, I don’t even think artful lighting and clever angles could hide what a dump that place has become.
As for the current owner of the Riverfront Center, this one’s for you.
“Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you.” ~ Jonathan Stroud
Tea has formed a literal and symbolic baseline for what has gone on at this website over the last twenty years. From its inception, this little corner of the internet was intended and designed to be a place of whimsical distraction, devoid of the ads and intrusions and comments that so often plague and ruin other sites. I’ve aimed to keep this as enjoyable as possible while being somewhat interesting to visit, with interesting twists and turns along the way. Of course, over the course of two decades, the overall undulations have been relatively smooth and unremarkable, and there is comfort in that.
When so much of the world has grown volatile and tense, I have striven to make this place somewhat consistent and comfortable – likening it to a living room that is largely quiet except when a gathering or company is coming – a place where one can sit down for a spell and enjoy a light read with a cup of tea or coffee or something stronger should you so desire. It’s a room that can be whatever you need or want – a room of requirement, perhaps, but with a lot less clutter, unless that makes you happy. It changes with the seasons, with the day, with the hour – it can start off cool and gray in the hours before dawn, when the couch or chair begs for use with a blanket and pillow. It can become brilliantly lit with sunlight streaming in the bay window, pouring through the fronds of a Norfolk Island pine and an ancient fern. It transforms into an afternoon refuge, the last of the days light fading while one sits quietly on the floor in meditative contemplation. It closes in a bit on itself at the approach of night, as one by one the lamps come on and gently warm the space, lending it the coziness and comfort we may crave in the evening.
And so I welcome you here, whenever you may need or want a moment of quiet, apart from the mayhem of social media and the madness of what our world has become. I’ll put on a fresh pot of tea…
“There is something in the nature of tea that leads us into a world of quiet contemplation of life.” ~ Lin Yutang
If you were going to make a splash of an entry into pop culture, there was no better place to do so than in the firmament of stars conjured in Madonna’s 1991 documentary ‘Truth or Dare’. and appearing in her enduring dance classic ‘Vogue’. That is precisely where most of the world got to meet dancer and choreographer Kevin Stea, the Dazzler of the Day. Without offense to any of the other dancers featured in ‘Truth or Dare’, Kevin definitely came off as one of the sweetest ones, ready with a smile or laugh, and largely staying away from the occasionally catty drama. That core of professionalism paved the way for a remarkably lasting career in a realm where careers flare brilliantly but extremely briefly. Check out Stea’s website here to catch what he’s been up to all these years after working with Madonna.
Fog brings conflicting memories to my mind. My earliest recollection of it stems from walking to McNulty Elementary School as a child, and taking a shortcut by cutting across a field. On certain fall mornings, the fog would be thick, and if we took the shortcut too soon we risked being engulfed in the middle of a field with no discernible landmarks for direction. A certain panic would sometimes set in when that happened, as much as the fog otherwise felt like a comfort. The group of kids with whom I walked didn’t always listen to me, and there were bound to be arguments about which direction we should take. That’s the memory of consternation, but the worry was mostly because it was affiliated with school.
The other memory I have is of a holiday excursion with my brother through the backroads of Galway, where we made a lunch-time stop at the Cock & Bull around Christmas tree season. It was, from what I now only dimly recall, a casual, flippant trip – unplanned and on the fly, which is much more my brother’s style than mine, and on this day it was one of those happy perspective-altering events that illuminates my fallacy in thinking there are definitive right and wrong ways to do everything.
In winter, I welcome a fog. It usually indicates kinder temperatures, and hints of spring.
With a Twitter feed that’s absolutely on-fire of late (and not in an embarrassing Santos sort of way), Ritchie Torres is precisely the kind of fighter our country needs right now in the House of Representatives. Representing the South Bronx, Torres has been a champion for his constituents, and anyone else who has been dealing with inequity. Witness his long list of accomplishments at his official government site here. Thanks to his no-nonsense way of addressing the awfulness that is the current GOP, he earns this Dazzler of the Day.
Lighting a cadre of candles to make a stand against the cold, pulling a fuzzy robe a little closer around my neck, and setting up a pot of tea, I conjure the spirit of hygge. This is how we embrace the winter rather than stave it off – the latter being an impossible mission, we might as well admit. The days go much easier when we bend with their general flow instead of fighting against them. I wish I’d understood that a few decades ago.
Here is a little song to echo the blanket of snow that covers the outside world right now.
It’s a muted song, for a muted morning, in a world of blankets. Before the work day begins, and before the sky has lightened and turned whatever shade of gray we will get for the morning, I putter quietly around the living room while the tea kettle warms. Hello, winter, the soul implores, begging for the response to be kind and, dare we wish for such a thing, warm.
Most days there is no answer, such as on this morning. Only quiet and silence and the muted sense that things are in a state of slumber. It’s better than when the answer is a storm, when the winter claps back with a scowl and a threat. Softness is welcome. Kindness appreciated. The lack of an answer is just an answer to another question. Winter winds its madness around the brain like cold hands around a cup of tea.
Risking my usual tendency to overshare, I am neither uncut nor much of a gem. I do think an argument can be powerfully made that I’m a raw and rough jewel, in dire need of faceting and polish, but I’m not a jeweler, and sadly I don’t know any or my jewelry collection wouldn’t be in such a shambles. My cologne cabinet, on the other hand, is pristine, and I’m putting out this Valentine’s Day request to add what may very well be the crowning jewel of it all: ‘Uncut Gem’.
According to the typically over-the-top verbiage of the Frederic Malle website, ‘Uncut Gem’ “…is an unapologetically manly scent, diamond-hard and absolutely fresh. Clear, spicy top notes of ginger, bergamot, mandarin, angelica root and nutmeg lead you to the sensual fire within: a leathery accord, vetiver, frankincense, generous amounts of amber, and a musk that vibrates with the skin. This is a scent that plays with the tired codes of masculinity while extracting their telluric force to create something beautiful and irresistible.”
Man, that’s a lot to take, and I can boil it down to this: the scent is wickedly gorgeous – the precise dose of freshness and brightness with a heart of warmth that makes it work just as well in winter as in summer. That’s no small feat, as most of my colognes fall in one or the other; only the best ones straddle all the seasons. I tried it on a test strip on a breezy and too-brief trip through Copley Square the last time I was in Boston, and it was exquisite. (I also tried the pair of new Tom Ford cherries and neither was impressive or worth their hefty price tag.)
When winter sets in, and the holiday decor has been shelved for another year, my comfort zone moves int the kitchen, where cooking provides not only sustenance and good things for the belly, but the heat from the stove and oven are a balm against the outer chill. With that in mind, I’ve been embarking on a few recipes by Padma Lakshmi, and thanks to their brilliance she is being named Dazzler of the Day. But as they once said in ‘Reading Rainbow’, you don’t have to take my word for it. Check out her website here, where the following encapsulation of her noteworthy accomplishments are described:
Padma Lakshmi is an Emmy-nominated producer, television host, food expert, and a New York Times best-selling author.
She is the creator, host, and executive producer of the critically acclaimed Hulu series Taste the Nation, currently in production for its second season. Taste the Nation is the recipient of a 2021 Critics Choice Real TV Award for Best Culinary Series, a 2021 Gotham Award nomination for Breakthrough Series, and 2022 Critics Choice Real TV Award for Best Show Host. In June 2022, Taste the Nation: Holiday Edition won a James Beard Foundation Award in the Visual Media – Long Form category.
Lakshmi also serves as host and executive producer of Bravo’s two-time Emmy-winning series Top Chef, now in its 20th season. Top Chef has been nominated for 42 Emmys, including her four-time nomination as Outstanding Host for A Reality-Competition Program. In 2022, she accepted two Critics Choice Real TV Awards for Best Culinary Show and Best Competition Series on behalf of Top Chef as well as an award for Best Show Host.
