A few people asked me if I would be live-tweeting the Golden Globes, and while I enjoyed the past season of film, I’m not sure I’ll last the whole night. I will do my best, but I find myself less interested and obsessed with these things when the world around us is burning down, in some places quite literally. But frivolity has its place, and its importance, perhaps especially in such a world, so let’s do our best. Before it even begins, I’ll let you know the three people to whom I am most looking forward to seeing: Billy Porter, Nicole Kidman and Cate Blanchett. I believe the first two are definitely going, and my fingers are crossed for the third. Keep checking back for updates as I add them.
Billy Porter is divinity and heaven in a standing white swan outfit.
Christina Applegate – love her, hate what her dress is doing for her.
Ben Platt – keeping it classy in a well-fitted tuxedo. Classy but boring. Save that kind of thing for the Oscars.
Margot Robbie – The dress has pockets, so I guess I’ll just pretend to be happy for her.
Ana de Armas – The danger of black sequins is the garbage-bag effect. Word is not yet out as to whether she steered clear of the danger.
Kit Harington – Decked out all in black – black on black on black – and I’m guessing everyone would rather see him in naked and nude.
Rami Malek in Yves St. Laurent is a perfectly-fitted vision.
For me, it’s all about Jennifer Aniston’s classic tousled-hair.
Jodie Comer is giving the Green Monster a run for its money.
Taron Egerton is in a back tuxedo. And bow tie. Calm down.
Kerry Washington’s ensemble is why double-tape exists.
Kirsten Dunst – I don’t know… I want to like it. And I do love pink. I’m just not sure. Maybe it’s the neckline, or lack there-of.
Jennifer Lopez – Oh no. No bow. No no no no no.
Tiffany Haddish – One step short of a Grecian Goddess. But it’s a big step.
Awkwafina – If we have to ask if that’s a chest hair situation, it’s not working.
Gwyneth Paltrow – When tulle attacks. Brown tulle. Rhymes with ‘stool’. As in sample.
Charlize Theron – Torn in the best possible way. I am loving and hating it equally, which means it will probably be my favorite of the evening. I still like a challenge.
Daniel Craig – I miss the baby blue square-cut.
Nicole Kidman – Divine scarlet elegance, and structurally astounding. The epitome of how to skillfully architect a dress.
Paul Rudd – He can wear anything and look cute. Even that boring tux.
Nick Jonas – If International Male was still in business…
Keegan-Michael Key – That is one big-ass bow tie, and I dig it.
Ansel Elgort – Cleans up better shirtless.
Renee Zellweger – Love the color, hate the cut. She’s gorgeous in it, just my personal preference craves something more.
Scarlett Johansson – When your husband is prettier than your dress.
Glenn Close – Exquisite color, and mentioned solely for the link.
Chris Evans – Finally! A tux with a colorful twist! I like it so much I don’t even care he’s not naked (like he is here).
Annette Bening – So severe!
Matt Bomer vs. Sofia Vergara – Best battle of the night! And it wasn’t even over Joe Manganiello.
Beyonce – Did they have to sit you in a different section for those shoulder puffs?
Taylor Swift – The requisite curtain-comment moment. Wasn’t sure we’d get one, so thanks Tay-Tay!
Jason Momoa – Tank top. Naked. Whatever. You win.
Cate Blanchett – Oh they are going to hate it, but I quite love it. Aside from the hair – why that hair?
Let’s end this on a high note: Brad Pitt in a tuxedo, serving classic golden tresses and reminding us of who we used to be. (Oh, and Brad Pitt shirtless.)
