Monthly Archives:

December 2021

The First December Holiday Recap

Here we are already sailing into high holiday season, with most of the first week of December done, and Christmas activities getting into full swing. Time moves swiftly now as we careen to the end of the year, and so I’m seeking out quieter moments, and lengthier times of calm to reconnect with the true spirit of the season. At least once a day now, I try to step outside into the cold air, if only for a few moments standing outside the front door, to simply breathe in and out a few cycles of almost-winter weather. On with this respite of a recap, where we may find a few moments of peace and stillness.

We left November quietly behind.

This was the tightest I’ve ever been.

Enter the holly and the ivy.

Evergreen reminders.

My life often revolves around tablescapes.

Andy refines a family recipe.

Two queens in a king-sized bed.

Carrying a Christmas torch song

The new Tom Ford Private Blend is absolutely exquisite.

Spending a very good day with Dad.

Dazzlers of the Day included Kal Penn, Ana Gasteyer, Drew Barrymore, and Ashley Day.

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A Day with Dad

Whenever I get a chance to spend some time with Dad, it’s always worth it, so when I offered to take a day off and stay with him while Mom did some Christmas shopping, it was a lovely use of some earned vacation hours. Arriving in Amsterdam in the morning, I brought a book and some split-pea soup and bread for their dinner. Mom had made a batch of asado that I only needed to re-heat for lunch. She headed out and I settled in.

The day was chilly and windy, but inside the house where I grew up it was cozy and warm. Sun streamed in through the windows and would gradually shift as the day wore on. I remembered the way it moved through the house, how certain rooms came into their own glory depending on the time of day and year, and whether the sunlight was strong or hidden. On this morning it was happily strong, shining and illuminating the house in which I suddenly remembered the trajectory of a day. 

Dad was more engaged on this morning, even though Mom said he’d had a restless night. We watched the morning news programs for a while, then he sat in his chair and perused a photo book I’d made for them on our trips to Ogunquit. 

He picked up the newspaper when it arrived, probably more out of habit than anything else, but habitual actions aren’t bad. I reminded him to do his exercises, and he gamely got up and walked around the downstairs a couple of times. I brought him some apple juice, and then had him do another walkabout. He settled on the pull-out couch and took a quick nap, while I stepped outside to do a walk around the yard. Even in the winter, there was beauty here, as evidenced by these evergreens and their dangling pinecones – the promise of another spring to come. 

Coming back inside to the warmth, I saw that Dad was still asleep, so I started to fix lunch, then sat down in the living room to read. It was pleasant and peaceful there, quiet and still and cozy with the throw blanket Mom had left on the couch. I recalled those days of childhood when I was home sick and Mom and Dad had to go out working – the house was in the same state of stillness and peace as the sun moved in and out of the rooms as the day went along. 

On this day, it felt like a refuge again, a bit of relief from the insanity of the world and the work place, as much as break for me as it was for Mom, who was itching to get out in the opposite way. Dad came into the kitchen for lunch and we ate as the sun poured in from the front window. He took another quick nap after lunch, then was up until Mom returned. 

It was a day marked by happy memories of the past, and gratitude for the present. 

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Holiday Fragrance 2021: Tom Ford’s ‘Ébène Fumé’

Every wonderful once in a great while, the passions of my measly personal life align with the artistic creation of one of my heroes. When it was announced that Tom Ford was releasing a new Private Blend that harkened to the early days of that line’s original potency, I was intrigued. After a spell of sweeter and lighter stuff (‘Lost Cherry’ and ‘Bitter Peach’, neither of which I adored) a return to the pungent, darker aspects that made his best stuff so beautiful was a welcome notion. Even better was the notice that explained this fragrance would feature the somewhat polarizing scent of Palo santo – a sacred wood used for incense and meditation – which is precisely how I knew it.

Legend has it that the scent of Palo santo smoke is often acrid and off-putting to those who have spiritual issues that they still need to work out, and as they address and acknowledge them in repeated meditation sessions, the scent becomes more and more enjoyable. This was very much my experience with Palo santo; the first time I smelled it, in a Tibetan store in Cambridge, MA, I thought it was horrendous. That was many years ago, when aspects of my life – at least the ones that I had never fully dealt with – were appreciably horrendous. Returning to that store, I still found the scent objectionable the next few times I visited.

The first time I lit a stick of Palo santo at the beginning of my meditation journey, it was challenging, but even without consciously working things out in my mind, the last few years seemed to have shifted how I was reacting to the smell. As my days of mediation went by, the scent became something that calmed and centered me before each session, and I eventually came to love it. Whether that’s simply the familiarity taking away its sharp edges, or some deeper transformation, I cannot completely tell, and it doesn’t really matter. When I read that Tom Ford was crafting a Private Blend that incorporated this sacred wood, I was stoked.

Of course the best laid fragrance plans on paper always seem to end up defying what the actual scent ends up being, but that didn’t stop me from blind-buying it during a Sephora sale. Thankfully when I finally tried it out in Boston a few days before my bottle arrived, it turned out to be everything I’d hoped it would be, and quite a bit more.

Rather than starting out with the Palo santo, ‘Ébène Fumé’ opens exactly like Ford’s exquisite ‘Santal Blush’ which is a sentimental favorite for holiday time, so at this point in the year it’s a welcome breath of refined air. The one minor thing that (barely) troubled me about ‘Blush’ was its relentless sweetness – which was fine for the holidays, but I tended to temper it with a bit of ‘Oud Wood’ to give it a darker aspect. Ford solves that gorgeously with ‘Ébène Fumé’, as behind that opening blast of sandalwood is a layer of incense and smoky resin which gives it some heat an hour or so into its trajectory. Shortly after that, the Palo santo comes into its glory in a most marvelous unfurling of wispy smoke – deep and rich yet somehow not overpowering. After years of volleying between too much and too little sillage – see the extremes of ‘Tuscan Leather’ versus ‘Neroli Portofino’ or ‘Japon Noir’ versus ‘Fucking Fabulous’ or ‘Vert D’Encens’ versus ‘Mandarino di Amalfi’ – Ford seems to have found the ideal meditative center of a lovely cologne, which feels finely fitting for the calming essence of Palo santo.

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Carrying A Christmas Torch

Un flambeau, Jeannette, Isabelle —
Un flambeau! Courons au berceau!
C’est Jésus, bonnes gens du hameau.
Le Christ est né; Marie appelle!
Ah! Ah! Que la Mère est belle,
Ah! Ah! Que l’Enfant est beau!

The origins of ‘Bring a Torch, Jeannette, Isabella’ are interesting, and with the advent of google and the internet itself, you can have at it. Something about two farmhands and Christ and, well, you get the idea (even if I didn’t). This song didn’t resonate with me until a few years ago, and not for its lyrics, but for its simple melody. It was supposed to be a song for French nobility, so maybe that’s why it speaks to me. In a previous life it’s almost certain my head was lost at the guillotine. Most days, I’m still paying for it. 

Qui vient là, frappant de la sorte?
Qui vient là, en frappant comme ça?
Ouvrez-donc, j’ai posé sur un plat
De bons gâteaux, qu’ici j’apporte
Toc! Toc! Ouvrons-nous la porte!
Toc! Toc! Faisons grand gala!

While I’m printing the French lyrics here, it is the instrumental version that I enjoy most, especially when it’s on some crazy-ass guitar as seen above. What in hell is that thing and how do I play it?! Sign me up for those lessons. 

C’est un tort, quand l’Enfant sommeille,
C’est un tort de crier si fort.
Taisez-vous, l’un et l’autre, d’abord!
Au moindre bruit, Jésus s’éveille.
Chut! chut! Il dort à merveille,
Chut! chut! Voyez comme il dort!

All wacky zaniness aside (it’s way past the expiration date of learning a new instrument), I’m adding this to the Christmas repertoire for seasonal accompaniment to all your merry-making. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Ashley Day

It was his tapping prowess in the recent revival of ’42nd Street’ that was broadcast on PBS the other night that sold me on Ashley Day, hence this Dazzler of the Day crowning. Many of us have been missing the live theatrical experience that was so sadly curtailed with COVID, so seeing this on television was the next best thing. It reminded me of the magic that can only be found on stage and in person. As for Mr. Day, his dancing and singing skills stole every scene he was in, and his talents more than earn this Dazzler honor. 

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Two Queens in a King-Sized Bed

A December piece of music that embodies the notion of hygge, this sweet little song is a new Christmas classic. Let’s face it, we need more interesting Christmas music. The classics will always have a place in the season, but there’s also room for something new. 

Two queens in a king-sized bed
There’s no mistletoe above our heads
But I’ll kiss you anyway on Christmas day
Yeah, I’ll kiss you anyway on Christmas day
I don’t have a lot to give
But I would give you everything
All my time is yours to spend
Let me wrap you in with my skin
With my skin

This song is a good one to play when you’re not quite ready to get out of bed in the morning, or when you find yourself napping at the same time as your husband, something that happened happily a few days ago. I found myself lying down just for a moment after work, and that moment turned into a few, and then I was fast asleep. When I woke, Andy was beside me, covered in blankets and warmth. I stayed there a little while longer in the darkness of early afternoon, simply enjoying the comfort of the moment. That’s hygge.  

Two queens in a king-sized bed
Like angels in the snow
My only wish is one more year
And then I want them all
Your freckled cheeks, our tangled feet
The closer, the better it gets
So let’s stay right here
Until forever disappears
I don’t have a lot to give
But I would give you everything
All my time is yours to spend
Let me wrap you in with my skin
With my skin

When the wind whips by the windows on a cold, clear, almost-cloud-free day, and the tan grass heads nod in brutal agreement, it marks a moment to indulge in a bit of coziness with a loved one. There is calm here, and there is quiet here, and the world could use more of both during the Christmas season.

Two queens in a king-sized bed
Mm, there’s no mistletoe above our heads
But I’ll kiss you anyway on Christmas day
Yeah, I’ll kiss you anyway on Christmas day

There is nothing more comforting than taking an early-afternoon nap with your husband as December gets underway. Let the season of hygge begin.

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Dazzler of the Day: Drew Barrymore

Being the same age as Drew Barrymore, I’d always watched her in her early film roles and felt happy to see someone that I could recognize, at least as far as being a kid growing up in the 80’s went. When I watched ‘E.T’ in the theater with my Mom and brother, I related more to her than anyone else. A later role on ‘Irreconcilable Differences’ further cemented my love for her. Through the years, many of us have watched as she went through the treacherous journey that a child star often goes through, but Barrymore bucked the odds and overcame her difficulties. Her current talk show is a breath of fresh air, and brings her exuberant quirkiness to a larger audience in need of such good vibes, hence this honor of Dazzler of the Day. My absolute all-time favorite of Barrymore’s performances is her unexpectedly stunning portrayal of Little Edie in ‘Grey Gardens’. It’s the ultimate blending of star and role, resulting in nothing short of an artistic smash. 

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Andy Refines A Family Recipe

Much in the same way that he refined and improved upon this chicken-curry-in-a-hurry recipe, Andy has added his own special touch to Mom’s classic beef stew recipe. In his version, it was the addition of cocktail onions that adds an elegant and potent twist to the stew, lending flavor and globular architecture to the dish. He also opted for those little red potatoes that echo the size and shape of the onions, left with their vitamin-rich skins on, reddish color intact even behind the bold color of the stew sauce. (Secret ingredient hint: ketchup.)

This was one of the first recipes I ever made for Andy, during our first winter together. I remember getting the recipe from my Mom – a favorite for a cozy winter night – and then doing my best to bring it to life. Over the years, we gradually shifted to Andy making this more than me, and in more creative ways than I thought to flesh out. It’s now a winter staple whenever we need some comfort food.

PS – When in doubt, add a couple of snowflake rolls slathered in room-temperature butter. 

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Holiday Tablescape Extravaganza

This post was going to open with a disclaimer that I am usually not this extra, but I totally am and it’s all good. Here are scenes from the tablescape I crafted for our first dinner gathering in many months (years?) – and if I went a little overboard (Andy at one point asked where we going to actually eat) it’s justified. We’ve all been feeling a little overwhelmed and exhausted by the stresses of daily life. I haven’t spent nearly enough time with friends as is good for the soul, so this was our tentative way back to finding a balance between socialization and isolation. 

A wintry tablecloth of bare branches and a red runner formed the background, while an abundance of candles in sparkling mercury glass and birch-inspired cups lended warmth and soft light. 

From our yard, I culled a few branches of juniper and thuja, and to that I added some eucalyptus and white roses for a natural holiday touch. Rather than one big bouquet of greens in the middle of the table that blocks guest views, I used several short-statured vases (gold-rimmed drinking glasses, actually) which spreads out the greenery more. 

Our lone rosemary plant is still in fine form despite the icy nights, so I plucked several sprigs for this pomegranate cocktail (vodka, pomegranate juice, pomegranate seltzer and a rosemary/brown sugar simple syrup) – and made a vodka-free virgin version for myself. 

As fine and festive as this table design was, it was the company that made the evening, and Andy I are rich in that regard. Our home is filled with love when it’s just the two of us -adding good friends makes it overflow in even happier fashion. That’s the best part of the holidays, and you don’t need a fancy tablescape to make it happen. 

“It’s such a happiness when good people get together.” – Jane Austen

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Evergreen Reminders

The advent of the winter season is almost upon us, embodied by the pinecones dangling from a neighbor’s evergreen. Happily, this scene doesn’t so much remind me of the coming winter, but rather the coming spring. When Andy and I first looked at our home, it was around March, at the very end of winter. Some snow was still on the ground, but as we toured the backyard in the dark of an early evening, we saw the pool, and this evergreen rose dimly behind it. 

We see the tree at all times of the year, but it’s most prevalent in the summer, when we are out and about in the backyard. Throughout the winter, we watch it from the windows, waiting for spring to give a hint of itself in an early thaw or a wayward warm breeze. When I see it now, it gives me a little bit of hope, reminding me of that first spring when a new house started to take shape as a new home. 

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Enter the Holly & The Ivy

We have arrived at the first of December, easing into the high holiday season with a little holly and ivy, and a couple of rustic renditions of this traditional Christmas carol. As December has only just begun, it feels too soon to be so consumed by the chaos and cacophony of holiday mayhem, and so I’m pushing back, clearing the mental space and readjusting the mindset with a return to simplicity. This is my usual goal at this time of the year: to make the holidays a simple and quiet experience that approaches something slightly spiritual

That’s not always an easy frame of mind to maintain, and I have often spun way off trying to do too many things and see and entertain too many people, but in the age of COVID, staying somewhat isolated and safer lends for more moments of quiet and stillness. For a socially-anxious introvert, it’s my comfort zone, and instead of resisting that in an effort to fit in and go with the flow, I’m embracing my natural state of being. Hence this quieter beginning…

This is not one of those bombastic Christmas songs that all the kids love to sing. It’s old-fashioned, with a multi-layered history of meanings – the crux of the Christian and the Pagan or some other bullshit – but when I was a kid it was one of those songs that signified the role of nature in the Christmas season, and the outdoor beauty of winter.

It was the crystalline magnificence of the morning sunlight through a piece of ice dangling off the edge of an evergreen leaf. It was the gloriously sharp scent of pine trees, entwined with the faint smoke of a fireplace somewhere in the distance. It was a winter walk in the woods, away from people and noise and the stresses of everyday life. It was something that feels less real to me the older I get, but I know I had those moments because I remember them – scattered and vague and likely an amalgamation of various woodland memories – and no less real because of that. 

Between the suburbs and the city, most of the brushes with holly and ivy that I get these days are part of landscaping or gardens – a far cry from any forest path that probably never existed in the first place. That’s where these photos came from: a stand of holly along the Southwest Corridor Park in Boston, and a patch of ivy in front of some brownstone. On the grand scale of things, they may not be all that spectacular, but when taken in up-close they become a little forest in and of themselves. Stilling the moment to pause and reflect on the holiday memories that each evoked, it was possible to conjure entire winter worlds from a single leaf and berry. 

That sort of imaginary enchantment – an actual bit of Christmas magic – is the province of children mostly, especially children around Christmastime. Returning to that place isn’t always easy as an adult, but every now and then, such as when I brush by some holly followed moments later by a bit of ivy, I manage to muster such magic. 

Whenever this holiday season starts to veer away from this central tenet of seasonal significance, I will return to this post as a reminder of a simpler time. It will also serve to remind of the beauty of winter – and that always lasts much longer than Christmas. 

Welcome, December. 

From your scarlet berries of holly to the entwining tendrils of your ivy, you inspire with your raw beauty. Tucked into the very end of the calendar year, you are the finale and the beginning of something new all at once. 

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