November 2021
Sometime all it takes to win the Dazzler of the Day is a spectacular suit, as evidenced by Jeff Goldblum’s recent appearance on ‘The Stephen Colbert Show’. That alone earns him this Dazzler of the Day honor, which he can add to this previous appearance as Hunk of the Day. A man who clearly loves an animal print is a good man in my estimation.
A November thunderstorm, according to my mother, may mean a milder winter is on the way. We’re hanging on to that notion, and we’ve both enjoyed storms as long as we can hunker down in a place of coziness and safety. On the afternoon these photos were taken, the thunder was rumbling in the sky, and I retreated to the attic where I looked out and saw this pine bough dripping with rain. Listening to this song, backed by the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof (and a comical scampering of a squirrel at one point), I felt a moment of calm and peace in the midst of the rain and wind raging in the air.
That juxtaposition of dreary weather with the warmth and candlelight of the attic made things feel even more cozy – the very essence of hygge. Without the awful weather, the dim early descent of evenings, and the distant approach of winter, we couldn’t experience such coziness.
Thanksgiving is next week – exactly ten days away – so it’s not too soon to begin the holiday season and all its accompanying traditions, decorations, merry-making, and Mariah Fucking Carey. The world feels more somber and series this year – maybe it’s the ongoing pandemic that has cast such a shadow, maybe we’re all just getting older, maybe things really are darker than they have ever been. If it’s any or all of those, let us seek out the light and warmth and love that are hallmarks of the holiday season, and to that end let us begin.
Bringing these candles out of basement storage and into the attic loft was my first holiday act, in the hopes of letting in some hygge while the November wind and rain raged outside as the weather catches up to the calendar. Keeping things simple, with a focus on candles and light, is the plan for this Christmas, something that I hope to keep going through the end of January, when the year is at its darkest.
As the days grow gray and bleak, we approach the winter with less autumn ahead of us than is now behind us. Rather than entering the season with bombast and cheer and ignoring all that this last year has brought us, this song seems a more fitting and appropriate entrance – one of softness and gentleness. The holidays don’t always mean that life is happier for everyone, but at their best, and at their life-affirming core, they remind us to be kinder, quieter, and thankful for what we still have.
When the year hovers around Thanksgiving, and the dim turn the season will take is upon us, it is the light and the glimmers of beauty that bring solace to wherever we may find ourselves. I’m turning the attic into a space for hygge – the warm and cozy feeling that comes into its own starting now. Today it’s embodied by these candles and this song ‘In the Bleak Midwinter’. Last year I got a late start on it. This year I’m a bit ahead – and it’s ok to indulge in whatever makes these days a little more comforting.
This view is one of my favorites in the summer – it shows the towering tips of the fountain grass behind the boughs of a Chinese dogwood tree. Beyond is the pool, mirroring a blue sky. It’s a favorite because it signals summer and sun and warmth and fun. Last week the view wasn’t bad, but it was tinged with the sadness of impending slumber, the winter on its way. Still, until recently November has been relatively kind weather-wise, and I’m going to hold onto its glory and splendor for as long as it will let us. On with a briefer recap, because November is brief.
What to do with all the tomatoes that would have otherwise gone to the frost.
Autumn in New York. Upstate and otherwise.
A pair of quotes for a peaceful moment.
The words and wisdom of Seneca.
Taylor Swift’s autumn heartbreak.
Autumnal meditation. Because we need it now more than ever.
Dazzlers of the Day included Justin Tranter, Chella Man, Paul Rudd, Alicia Silverstone and Mr. T.
Any proper child of the 80’s fit this iconic catchphrase into their lexicon at some point: “I pity the fool…” It came from Mr. T, the rough and tumble tough-guy with a heart of gold from ‘The A-Team’. Today he gets crowned Dazzler of the Day if only for his recent Twitter post regarding his recent COVID booster. Any time we get some reasonable act of humanity from a celebrity feels like something to be celebrated. Anyway, here’s to Mr. T, the ultimate Pitier of Fools.
Real life sometimes gets in the way of online narratives, and so I have been largely absent from writing in any active voice these past few days, and weeks really. As personal as I sometimes get here, this hasn’t been the place for diary-like revelations in the moments in which they are happening, so I’ll process and maybe get back to them another time. I’m dealing with some parental care issues, and there honestly hasn’t been time to write much. Still, I’m told some people come here for inspiration or peace or just a silly break in their day, so I’ll continue at least a daily posting if I can. That may mean seeking out the words of others, which is never a bad thing, considering how much wonderful work exists in the world.
Today mine will have to suffice, along with these photos of the Japanese coral bark maple at the corner of our house, putting on what is probably its finest show of the year. While Andy is partial to the chartreuse freshness that signals spring in its foliage, and I too enjoy that, particularly when juxtaposed with its vibrant bark, this is its final performance for the season. No one can say it doesn’t know how to give a good finale.
As for this Sunday morning, and whatever may come along with it, I’m posting a video for which I’ve only used the sound as a backing track during a meditation. Some people find it easier to meditate when there is some ambient noise in the background. I don’t usually need it but on those days when the mind is particularly burdened and thoughts race across like wildfire, I’m not averse to playing this and letting it occupy what might otherwise be fertile ground for meddlesome distractions. It’s the same thing when people need a bit of white noise to fall asleep. (There are also some lovely Japanese maple images for those who only want to watch.)
My meditation practice these days is around 15 minutes every other day, but I’m getting back into increasing both the frequency and duration of that loose schedule. The calm and peace I get from it is more than worth carving out the time. It’s also a way of combatting the earlier descent of darkness in the day, and counteracting any seasonal affective disorder downers that begin creeping up on so many of us now.
In the spirit of Seneca, I’m going to enjoy the singular moment at hand, indulging in these photos from a beautiful November day when the sun was recently shining in a sky perfectly tinted with blue.
It’s a luxury to revisit past pain, as that usually indicates there’s nothing present going on to fill such a void. In this case, I’ll leave the artistic expression to Taylor Swift‘s re-release of ‘All Too Well’ (Taylor’s Version) which comes with a raw video that some have speculated is about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. It brought about a rash of online heartbreak memories and break-up ghosts. Who needs that shit when so much else is going on? Who knows. And who cares. We all have those memories. They still cut, they still sting, and when they claim you like the ghosts they are, they leave the same chill they did before.
In my case, it was a January or February moment in Chicago, that was just as cold and brutal as everyone thinks Chicago is. The city was never quite that way – but the circumstances were. On this Saturday morning he accompanied me downtown, but left when we were only halfway there, and I didn’t have the courage or strength to fight it. I got off in some neighborhood I didn’t know, stumbling to some pretty storefront that looked like it might have a little piece of beauty that might prove a balm on my heart. It was all I could do, it was my way of survival: to find a sliver of beauty that made it worth living in the world. To keep me alive… just until the next day, the next hour, the next minute. How would I go on beyond that? Why would I want to?
A potted group of paperwhite Narcissus was in bloom there, sending up their star-shaped blooms and their pungent perfume. They were hidden in plain sight, in a green-house-like room fronted by wavy panes of ancient glass, where it felt like I could be hidden in plain sight too. My grief rendered me suddenly invisible, a doubly-debilitating and cruel trick that preyed upon the very insecurities which had me constantly doubting whether I even existed.
It was twenty-five years ago today when the soundtrack to Madonna’s turn in ‘Evita’ was released, setting off the season of Madonna as Eva Peron, fully resurrecting her marquee dreams, and her most high-profile project since the ‘Sex/Erotica’ period. Rather than get into any deep analysis of that emotionally-fraught time, here’s a simple list of Madonna Timeline links for the selections that have been featured here already.
She may be best remembered for her iconic personification of 90’s glory as Cher in ‘Clueless’ (where she sizzled with on-screen chemistry with recently-crowned Dazzler of the Day/Sexiest Man Alive Paul Rudd). Today is her day, as she steps into the Dazzler crown, thanks to her still-winning charm and personality, as evidenced by the sort of social media glory that comes from palling around with Christian Siriano.
“There are more things … likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes; since it may be that the dangers before which you paled as if they were threatening you, will never come upon you; they certainly have not yet come.
Accordingly, some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow.
It is likely that some troubles will befall us; but it is not a present fact. How often has the unexpected happened! How often has the expected never come to pass! And even though it is ordained to be, what does it avail to run out to meet your suffering? You will suffer soon enough, when it arrives; so look forward meanwhile to better things. What shall you gain by doing this? Time. There will be many happenings meanwhile which will serve to postpone, or end, or pass on to another person, the trials which are near or even in your very presence. A fire has opened the way to flight. Men have been let down softly by a catastrophe. Sometimes the sword has been checked even at the victim’s throat. Men have survived their own executioners. Even bad fortune is fickle. Perhaps it will come, perhaps not; in the meantime it is not. So look forward to better things.”
~ Seneca
He was laying the groundwork for Hunk of the Day territory with this naked-but-for-some-pixelation post, but since that never happened Paul Rudd is our Dazzler of the Day, thanks to his recent crowning as ‘Sexiest Man Alive‘ by People Magazine. Rudd has been a consistently impressive actor, with a sly, under-the-radar technique that absolutely slays, particularly in humorous roles. Any guy who can make us laugh is indeed sexy, and so that honor is not as far-fetched as some detractors seem to think. Regardless of whether he’s your cup of tea for sexiness, he’s definitely a Dazzler.
The morns are meeker than they were,
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry’s cheek is plumper,
The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown.
Lest I should be old-fashioned,
I’ll put a trinket on.
“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” ~ Etty Hillesum
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ~ Sydney Harris
Upstate New York knows how to do autumn justice. We don’t have a choice. You either give in to the season at hand or get bowled over by the gourds and cinnamon scents and pumpkin spice everything. I find it easier to go with the flow and embrace the chilly season at hand, indulging in the cozy traditions that you enjoy the most. It’s also the indisputable lead-in to the holiday season, another thing some people have an issue with this early in the game. Usually I’m with them – extending or elongating the holiday season too far dilutes what makes it so special and memorable. This year, I’m gradually shifting into it earlier than usual, because we need it now.
Here is some music to set the autumnal scene, one of the few things good about YouTube these days, and backed by some favorite characters best known for their holiday antics.
