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November 2021

This candle is around twenty-five years old, purchased and first lit when I had just moved into the Boston condo. Way back then, in its original incarnation, this candle was black, but in the decades that followed, and its various locations in the sunlight, it has lightened to a shade of midnight blue – one of those mystical machinations of astral bodies and their various powers. 

As the wax melted and revealed pieces of a life two and a half decades ago, I thought of all the particles and dust that were now being freed – and what looked like an old match stick buried in the dark blue abyss now suddenly recalled to life. The thrill of excavation in a candle. What parties had this object once helped to illuminate? What romances and friendships had it witnessed with its glowing flame? What sorrows and breakdowns did it ever aim to ease? The past felt plaintively bound into this present moment, weighing it down and still somehow buoying the heart. Long-dormant memories rise to the surface as the flame licks at the tender bindings of the past. 

The evening in Boston has begun early, and I start to decorate for the holidays again after skipping it all last year. 

My Mom asked for my Christmas wish list, which is the only reason I’m putting this together right now. The past couple of years have re-prioritized things in my mind, and while I won’t ever say no to a present or gift, they don’t concern me as much as they once did. That said, if someone wants to get me something I am guaranteed to enjoy (as opposed to risky moves like attempting to guess what I might like) here are a few ideas, in addition to the requisite Amazon Wish List that I just updated as well. 

This companion book – Tom Ford 002 – is pretty reasonable, considering what he charges for everything else. 

Any Tom Ford underwear will do as well, such as this lavender boxer brief in size small. 

Frederic Malle’s line of fragrance is where my scent journey really took off, on the second floor of the now-defunct Barneys at Copley Place in Boston. The memory of it is still sweet, and can still be found in the 50 ML bottle of ‘Musc Ravageur’ at this link. 

This ‘Portrait of a Lady’ shower cream by Frederic Malle would be a glorious indulgence. 

For the office, this soft gray Tallia sport coat (size 40S) in tan and gray is befitting of the subdued sartorial simplicity I’m feeling these days. 

Finally, this new fragrance ‘Eremia’ by Aesop would be the best antidote for a cold winter. 

As for other more mundane concerns, we need a new stereo, but Andy would have to tell you which one will work with the sound system we have. 

How we have arrived at the week of Thanksgiving is a marvel to me, and I think it’s such a shock because the weather has been kinder than it usually is at this time of the year, and so it seems like we can’t quite be here yet. I’m still hoping that makes for a short and quick winter to make up for last summer. 

This weekend was spent in Boston for a mental health getaway and a reunion with Kira for our Friendsgiving tradition – but more on that later. For now, the look back at the previous week…

Holiday hinting becomes something more by the end of the week. 

Raindrops on pine trees. 

The oak tree leaves, late in falling.

Red against blue in the only way it should matter. 

A mound of sequins, a mound of mesh.

The forest through the trees.

Remembering Andy’s Mum.

Radials of warmth and comfort.

Andy’s chicken curry (still not in a hurry but very much worth the wait).

A wet and colorful explosion of color. 

November gratitude.

Dazzler of the Day included Jeff Goldblum and Steve Barnes.

Thank you, November, for being kind to us in the weather department, when so much else seems to have gone wrong. Your sunlight and your relative-warmth has been appreciated and noted for its solace-like balm, as if in apology to the rest of the world. I offer gratitude whenever I can in the hopes that such a reprieve lasts through the end of the year. 

We have found calm in the afternoon sunlight slanting through the leaves of the Chinese dogwood seen here, and the fiery scarlet of the Japanese maple. We found peace in the gentle swaying of the fountain grass and its feathery seed-heads waving in the wind. Thank you for letting such beauty linger longer than you usually do. We needed the extension. 

With a title like ‘Amazing Fall Instrumental Hygge Music‘ how can you go wrong? 

If that’s not hokey or cheesy enough for you, take a close look at the steam rising from the coffee cup in the video here. 

And that flickering flame on a perpetual loop… have you seen anything quite as precious?

I’m utterly transfixed, and as much as I want to shit all over this music and this video, I find myself watching and listening and giving in to the simplicity of a moment where I can merely breathe and be. That butternut squash and dried thistle on the tray don’t even bug me like they normally would. (Do you know how much work peeling the former is going to be?) 

Instead, I’m sort of zoning out, not quite meditating, but letting the thoughts come and go – the annoying and bothersome bits of frustration and anger from a typical day, the push and pull of worry and hope, the promised choice between joy and sorrow – and somehow the mind is eased, the burdens feel lighter. 

Maybe it’s the candle burning beside me in real life, and the active welcoming of hygge as we approach the holiday season. Maybe it’s the quietness of the attic as I write this, save for the music playing from this silly video. Maybe it’s just the embrace of something that I would have decried from cynicism and jadedness in the not-too-distant past.

Maybe I’m just worn out and tired, and the energy required to be angry or cruel feels more daunting than that required to simply let go and enjoy the ease and efforts of something designed and intended to bring calm and joy. Fighting can elicit a win, but I find the cost growing too great to keep it up. 

And so, on this Saturday morning, with Thanksgiving less than a week away, I invite you to sit down beside my virtual perch, to watch and get lost in the schmaltz of this video, and see if it doesn’t lighten your load, if only for a moment. 

The hints of people are what have always fascinated me. 

A lingering trace of cologne. 

An echo of a voice. 

Fragmented bits of melody.

Taken as one, what does such a pastiche of individual elements comprise?

Does the whole of a person come together from such personal effects?

What remains and what is lost?

The striking combination of these red Japanese maple leaves against a sky of blue shows just how wonderfully these color can work together. Would that we could take a lesson from nature and allow our own differences and beliefs to co-exist so beautifully, and so harmoniously. It’s disheartening to see a country, and a world, so ruinously fractured, and over such stupid things. I will choose to focus on beauty and goodness and truth, and all come together in the fall show put on by this Japanese maple tree. 

It’s glorious how November has, thus far, decided to enchant and illuminate its beauty. Too often it shrouds these views in mists of overcast haze, dim and rainy days, and storms that pull such prettiness from the sky far too soon. I feel enormous gratitude for the blue sky shown here, for the brilliant scarlet of the leaves set off by the sunlight, and for the gentle slope into the holiday season. 

The oak tree is always the last one to let go of its leaves, sometimes holding onto some through the winter and spring until a fresh crop finally pushes the lingerers out. For bagging purposes it’s a bit of a pain if you collect your leaves in the fall. Andy will get the ones off the lawn with a last mowing and then we’ll leave the rest for spring pick-up. They provide a mulch and cover for our front shrubs. 

For years I went through fall ignoring and not appreciating the beauty of these brown leaves, but this year I found a new gratitude for their subtle beauty, especially when the afternoon sun slants through their leathery forms.