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October 2020

Mercury in retrograde is nothing if not consistent in its madness. Yesterday, in addition to all the other stresses going on right now, I completely forgot about my scheduled therapy session. My poor therapist texted me asking if I was all right. It was the second time in as many months that I’ve forgotten about our appointment. 

Such is the state when Mercury is in retrograde. Hold on to your hats and say a little prayer. 

As if on cue for an added dose of awfulness, Mercury shifted into retrograde on October 13th, where it will remain causing commotions until November 3rd. (Yes, THAT November 3rd.) Whether or not one places much faith in these astrological events, I find it best to lay low and focus on self-care and mindful living during such times. Meditation becomes extremely important in these tumultuous stretches, and luckily it’s become a habit on which I fall back and rely. 

For the next few weeks, my plan is to nestle quietly into fall mindfulness, embracing the sunny days when I can and finding the subdued beauty in their rainy counterparts. The garden has been extending its show, with hydrangeas deepening in the color of both their leaves and flowers, morning glories that last into the afternoon as if unwilling to shorten their show just for the sake of their name, and the fiery foliage of the Chinese dogwoods bursting into its final flush of flame. 

So that we all may get through this as unbruised and unscathed as possible, here are my bits of advice to make things a little bit better. Be kind to everyone around you, and to yourself. Be patient with those around you – tiny peccadilloes have a tendency to flare up into full-fledged battles when Mercury is in retrograde. Shelve any serious conversations or decisions until a calmer time. Take extra care with travel and technology, as much as possible. The former isn’t as much of an issue during COVID, but the latter has taken on greater prominence, so check those connections, plan extra time for technological snafus, and have a contingency plan. Above all else, be prepared to act like a tree and bend – flexibility is key, and the ability and willingness to go with the flow will make for an easier time as we navigate the bumpiest roads. Fasten your seatbelts… 

When it looked like the temperature was going to tip-toe toward 80 degrees, Andy hurriedly heated the pool one last time, and we squeezed out an extra unexpected pool moment in the year when we needed it the most. The day was warm and humid, and after doing some yard clean-up and early winter preparation, I found myself in dire need of a dip. I took one final spell of laps, floating and flying one last time this year. Andy jumped in a little later, easing his back and letting the stress go on a sunny fall day. 

A late-season reprieve. Gratitude. 

Sweet solace. 

This year simply won’t let up, and it’s finally starting to wear on me. So when I found this monster mix of Peanut M&Ms, I bought it, poured it into a bowl, and between Andy and me, we devoured it in two days flat. Not sure what I put into my body based on these colors alone, and quite frankly I didn’t and don’t care. They were sweet and crunchy and got me through a rainy afternoon. It won’t be a pattern, I hope – my pants aren’t quite ready to expand for the winter – but in a pinch, candy lifts the spirits. 

“Electricity is the power

turn it on, it gives you light

But you have to know

how to use it: treat it right!”

Such is the ear worm of a teaching song that appeared on ‘3-2-1 Contact’ or some other PBS educational show in the 80’s, and it’s stuck in my head ever since. It came up and reared its head when our power went out for a whole night thanks to a recent storm. Our electricity went out at 4 PM, and was originally scheduled to be back by 9 PM – of course that didn’t happen, so I went through the house finding all the candles, because it’s remarkably darker than you think it will be when you’ve been accustomed to electric light for 45 years. 

A stunning pair of scarlet beeswax honeycomb candles – a gift from our friend Anu – made for perfect light, especially when paired with a mirror to double their illumination. As for the rest of the night, it was passed in relative quiet and darkness, with our phones making the most of the Vice Presidential debate, each switching out at various points, at which time we would change to the other one, forming a patchwork that largely allowed us to hear most of what was going on. Just another typical night in 2020. 

Sleeping proved remarkably more difficult in complete and total darkness. Not because of fear or anything, but for the simple unaccustomed totality of the darkness. Maybe I’m not quite ready to return to that level of basics. Luckily for us, the power kicked on early the next morning, which was not the case with several people I know, who went without for two more days. They’re the real profiles in courage. We didn’t even lose the ice cream (but just in case I went in the next day and ate it all – preventative measures, you know).

This blog is showing its age and slowing down a bit, because its creator is showing his age and slowing down a bit. After hosting our annual fall treasure hunt with the twins yesterday, I promptly took a two-hour nap, and I’m only just now coming to awareness. That post and some spooky pics from the day will be coming up later – for now, I invite you to take a moment and pause to enjoy the day. We’ll be back in a bit, recharged and reinvigorated. 

We won’t get into the atrocities of Christopher Columbus right now because the world has gone divided enough – look that cultural genocide up if you are so inclined. For now, let’s take a quick back-gander at the most recent tumultuous week of October. How we will make it to November is anybody’s guess…

At the ripe age of 56, Lenny Kravtz got shirtless and showed us how glorious abs could be. 

Reaching the end of my rope, a bit of wisdom to keep hanging on. 

Rob Gronkowski finally found his balls. 

Phony negroni. 

Fall paints with light and ferns. 

Hugh Jackman got naked save for some shoes. 

A wicked fall storm signaled we weren’t in Kansas anymore. Or vice versa. 

After the stormy weather. 

Follow the doughnut path to my heart. 

That’s summer done. 

The fall song for 2020: Dynasty. 

Another generation on the way. 

Halloween movie battles. 

Celebrating National Coming Out Day – because it’s still necessary and it still matters. 

A time to learn and a time to be brave.

Presenting a binary choice in anything these days seems rife for complaint and fuckery, so of course I had to put up some of these polls on Twitter for the Halloween season! (That’s just the kind of dick I am.)

‘Hocus Pocus’ or ‘Practical Magic’? This is an easy one for me: ‘Practical Magic’ all the way, mostly for that magnificent Victorian and setting, that glorious little greenhouse where the starry paperwhite narcissus get a guest shot, and the cute little soap store that Sally opens.

‘Hocus Pocus’ has Bette Midler, it’s true, but I feel like you had to experience it growing up to truly love it, and I simply missed that. On FaceBook, this one generated the most heat, with people mostly demanding both because it was too much like ‘Sophie’s Choice’. Twitter seemed decidedly in favor of ‘Hocus Pocus’.

‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ or ‘Clue’? Tim Curry plays the main parts in both, so maybe it’s a question of whether you prefer him in a butler get-up or garters. Strangley, I’m going with the former, as ‘Clue’ will always be a favorite (again, because I grew up on it and recall watching it on rainy Saturday afternoons with my brother).

I came to ‘Rocky Horror’ much, much later than just about everyone else, and I’m weird in that I really don’t like getting water and rice thrown at me in a public theater (or anywhere for that matter). [At my first public viewing of it I had more rice in my underwear than I put in the rice cooker on certain nights. Luckily I’m so hot and wet that some of it was edible the next morning.]

‘Sleepy Hollow’ or ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’? Tim Burton gave his weird and wonderful directorial touch to both, and Danny Elfman composed his hauntingly atmospheric music for both as well. I’m a big Burton fan, again largely through nostalgia and growing up to some of his classics.

Though ‘Nightmare’ brought an instantly iconic character to animated life and is undisputedly the more artistic endeavor, I fall prey to the enchanting upstate New York setting and classic story of Ichabod Crane in ‘Hollow’, even if it was more grossly and blatantly commercial, so my preference leans to that. (Christopher Walken does another chilling turn that is so indelible you feel his menace even when he’s missing his head – I don’t even care if that wasn’t him in those scenes).

Based on all the polls, my picks are three-out-of-three not the favorites of the majority of those who frequent my Twitter account, and I’m ok with that. Good taste doesn’t always translate to mass appeal. To each their own. 

Her name is Shelly 2. (Shelly 1 met an all-too-early demise when we think someone poisoned her.) The wonderful news is that Shelly 2 is about to have a baby. Two in fact.

Shelly 2 is a Spider plant that I have from the office, now residing in our guest room as she wouldn’t get enough water with my limited office hours these days. She came from a parent plant that did quite well in its bright office corner but suddenly got stricken with something that ended up killing her. I saved a few plantlets in some water just in time to produce Shelly 2, who is now sending forth a couple of plantlets of her own. Even in this crazy state of the world, there is still hope to be found.