Monthly Archives:

October 2020

Berry Berry Bo Berry

This hawthorn tree stands in a little gated court on the corner of Broadway and State Street in downtown Albany, right across the street from the very first state agency at which I worked almost twenty years ago. Its branches reach over the iron confines of its boundary, hanging low enough to afford these photos. In the spring it’s covered with little white flowers, and over the summer the berries develop into green and now this lovely persimmon color. I don’t often find myself passing it these days, with remote working and the increasingly inclement weather, so the changes in its seasonal garb feel more prominent and pronounced. Time moves quickly these days.

The berries are indicative of the irrevocable turn we have taken into the depths of fall. We’ve been pretty fortunate not to have had a deep hard freeze yet, and so we may have been lulled into a false sense of security. Make no mistake, and take no great comfort: winter is indeed on the way.

Autumn
By Joan Mitchell

The rusty leaves crunch and crackle, 

Blue haze hangs from the dimmed sky, 

The fields are matted with sun-tanned stalks — 

Wind rushes by. 

 

The last red berries hang from the thorn-tree, 

The last red leaves fall to the ground. 

Bleakness, through the trees and bushes, 

Comes without sound.

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Wrinkled Low Hangers

Suzie has totally ruined my view of the fruit of the dogwood tree when she likened them to testicles, and this scene, caught in our own backyard, points out that she was not totally wrong about it. This was rather a shocking find in the afternoon sun, because the majority of dogwood fruit had long-ago been ravaged and pillaged by the naughty band of squirrels currently roaming the neighborhood. Those marauders have performed miraculous feats of acrobatics, hanging upside down, twisting and turning from the very tips of the flimsiest branches, to reach almost every single fruit. Except this pair. Somehow they escaped the clutches of those fluffy thieves. 

Maybe they’ve disguised themselves so well as the similarly-mottled foliage that the tree displays at this time of the year that they’ve gone unnoticed – as seen here, they do look remarkably like the leaves just above them. Maybe they are just on the unreachable edge of a stem too thin to support a squirrel along its entire length. Whatever the case, they’ve managed to hang on this long, and I tip my hat to that kind of resilience. 

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Fall Floating Crown

A floating crown made of oak and cherry leaves swirls in the pool as we near October’s end. When the sun shines on a fall day, and the forest is lit with a multitude of fluttering lamps, I take in the beauty and the moment, mindful of the gratitude, grateful for the present. We have had a beautiful autumn season. Some years it’s already done by now, but this season has decided to linger, acting as a balm for all that’s wrong with the world these days. That’s quite a charge, and I’m not sure it’s fair to put the weight of such trauma all on these fragile days of fall. But that’s when you put your crown of fallen leaves upon your head, tilt it just so, and in just such a jaunty fashion, then make your way into the deeper forest of autumn. Tread lightly upon wet leaves and moss, listen carefully to the signs and the way the wind rustles through the lanterns still lit, and inhale the earthy life that is all around us. 

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Another Poem for October

Merry Autumn
By Paul Laurence Dunbar

It’s all a farce,—these tales they tell

     About the breezes sighing,

And moans astir o’er field and dell,

     Because the year is dying.

 

Such principles are most absurd,—

     I care not who first taught ’em;

There’s nothing known to beast or bird

     To make a solemn autumn.

 

In solemn times, when grief holds sway

     With countenance distressing,

You’ll note the more of black and gray

     Will then be used in dressing.

 

Now purple tints are all around;

     The sky is blue and mellow;

And e’en the grasses turn the ground

     From modest green to yellow.

 

The seed burrs all with laughter crack

     On featherweed and jimson;

And leaves that should be dressed in black

     Are all decked out in crimson.

 

A butterfly goes winging by;

     A singing bird comes after;

And Nature, all from earth to sky,

     Is bubbling o’er with laughter.

 

The ripples wimple on the rills,

     Like sparkling little lasses;

The sunlight runs along the hills,

     And laughs among the grasses.

 

The earth is just so full of fun

     It really can’t contain it;

And streams of mirth so freely run

     The heavens seem to rain it.

 

Don’t talk to me of solemn days

     In autumn’s time of splendor,

Because the sun shows fewer rays,

     And these grow slant and slender.

 

Why, it’s the climax of the year,

     The highest time of living!

Till naturally its bursting cheer

     Just melts into thanksgiving.

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Big and Sexy Ben Brings in Another Year

No one wants 2021 to arrive quicker than I do, and here is added incentive: the 2021 Calendar of Ben Cohen as shot by Leo Holden of Snooty Fox Images. When muse, model, and magnificent photographer meet, the results are spectacular, and this is precisely the dose of beauty the world needs right now. Mr. Cohen has been celebrated here numerous times, as much for his good looks as for his good heart and social endeavors. His Stand Up Foundation continues its anti-bullying crusade around the world. Mr. Holden has also been here before most recently in his own calendar feature. Together, they make the kind of magic that only supreme artistic excellence can conjure. Get your limited edition calendar here before they sell out (and they always sell out). 

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Ghostly Shade of Pale

Some people prefer the big, colorful, bright and brash bombast that fall can afford, the way the forests light aflame ~ the maple trees like the rocket’s red glare and the dogwood leaves like embers. The birch turns a brilliant canary yellow and the oak burns into a reddish brown like the earth from which it rose. 

While such pyrotechnics are wonderful to watch, I’ve grown fonder of the pale faded beauty that some leaves put on as their show. They let the color drain from their leaves, growing chartreuse then yellow before finally lightening until they become a pale echo of themselves. It is this ghostly shade I now find most fascinating. It glows in the garden at a time when night comes too soon. 

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These Are Sexy Days

Leo Holden of Snooty Fox Images continues to release remarkable work, and his collection of images for his 2021 calendar is no exception. In fact, it’s a lovely encapsulation of his ever-evolving and refined portraiture, featuring some of the most handsome gents who have found the good fortune to be standing before his lens. Check out his site here for more information, and follow his social media accounts for daily doses of beauty.

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Sexual Reconciliation

Still somewhat sour over this stunning mis-step, and without much reason to celebrate of late, I haven’t been listening to any Madonna for the past couple of months, aside from the occasional song that pops up on the radio. I’m coming around to her, deciding to forgive my pop icon even though she owes me nothing and I owe her even less, but it will take a little more time. 

Today is a Madonna holiday, however, and so I am suspending this brief break to honor the release of her most daring artistic project to date: the ‘Sex’ book. It was probably the moment when the height of my fandom crested with the height of her infamy, and that kind of cataclysmic pop culture alchemy left an indelible impression on my seventeen-year-old self. Her ‘Erotica’ album came out on October 20, 1992, but I waited a day to get it when I could bundle it with the ‘Sex’ book and have the full image-and-music experience. 

I was reminded of that magic – the kind of magic only Madonna has been able to conjure – when these Champagne Rose-tinted photos appeared recently, and so my heart softened a little toward the woman who once saved my life. 

So on this day I’m celebrating a sort of sexual forgiveness, because sex works in mysterious ways, and sometimes it brings people back together. Back then, it cemented a bond with Madonna that was less sexual and more emotional, but in a wise woman’s words, the best of both worlds is created when they come together. 

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An October Poem

October
By Robert Frost
O hushed October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
Tomorrow’s wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
Tomorrow they may form and go.
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Retard the sun with gentle mist;
Enchant the land with amethyst.
Slow, slow!
For the grapes’ sake, if they were all,
Whose leaves already are burnt with frost,
Whose clustered fruit must else be lost—
For the grapes’ sake along the wall.
 
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A Birthday Visitor for Andy

Holding regal scarlet court from the perch of a seven sons’ flower tree, this cardinal was an early birthday visitor to pay respects and homage (and pretty plumage) to Andy on his special day. One of his Mom’s favorite birds, it felt like this fellow was carrying a birthday message to him from her, and sometimes that’s the way the world works. 

While the finches have made a feast of the cup plant blooms all summer and fall, the cardinals have largely waited to dine until these seed pods have ripened into their salmon glory. In the crazy year this has been, this tree has had its latest-ever blooming cycle – usually this stage happens in September. I’m happy to extend the season, however, and enjoy the happy chirping that signals a loved one is near. 

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Birthday Wishes for Andy

My husband Andy celebrates his birthday today, and in this year, and particularly this month, I am realizing the importance of family and the support and love we provide each other. Andy doesn’t always get pictured a lot here, despite my efforts to photograph him, but he permeates everything I do, because I can’t do it all without him. 

He prefers quiet birthday gatherings, which is ideal for the current state of the world, and this month he’s in the midst of passing a kidney stone so he’s requested a plain vanilla cake instead of a spicier applesauce cake. That’s the sort of gentle soul he is. 

Looking through the photo fault, I found these from a previous birthday dinner we had for him many years ago. Our history is rich with such gatherings and traditions, and I cling to them more than ever. As an integral member of our family, Andy has come to know all the quirks and eccentricities of being an Ilagan. He is my family and my home. Happy birthday, Andy – I love you. 

 

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Autumnal Recap

This week is going to be another light one here due to other commitments, so take your time looking back at the posts from the previous days. Don’t rush – indulge and make the most of them.

How to be a better ally.

Fall pause.

A male model.

Electric company.

This is my brain on 2020.

The real last pool day.

Spooky treasure hunt with the twins.

Emotional ballet.

We are f@cked.

Yup, Mercury is in retrograde.

Meandering toward mindfulness.

An autumn song, even if it’s no longer early.

Soup solace.

In the days following the harvest moon.

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In the Days Following the Harvest Moon

“Above all, we cannot afford not to live in the present. He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

What energy did you find and release during the Harvest Moon? With Mercury in retrograde, I’ve lost track of anything the moon might have whispered to me. Instead, I focus on my daily meditations, using the deep ocean breath to drown out the cacophony of the rest of our wayward world. These days the noise seems to be getting louder, the distractions more numerous and challenging. It’s at these times when meditation matters most, when it becomes the highlight and break in the day for 25 minutes of silence.

While I prefer silence for my meditation, some people like to use ambient music as a guide for both their timeframe and something on which to focus. Here’s a Harvest Moon meditation track, and some words far wiser than any I could string together.

“If you know how to be happy with the wonders of life that are already there for you to enjoy, you don’t need to stress your mind and your body by striving harder and harder, and you don’t need to stress this planet by purchasing more and more stuff. The Earth belongs to our children. We have already borrowed too much from it, from them; and the way things have been going, we’re not sure we’ll be able to give it back to them in decent shape. And who are our children, actually? They are us, because they are our own continuation. So we’ve been shortchanging our own selves. Much of our modern way of life is permeated by mindless overborrowing. The more we borrow, the more we lose. That’s why it’s critical that we wake up and see we don’t need to do that anymore. What’s already available in the here and now is plenty for us to be nourished, to be happy. Only that kind of insight will get us, each one of us, to stop engaging in the compulsive, self-sabotaging behaviors of our species. We need a collective awakening. One Buddha is not enough. All of us have to become Buddhas in order for our planet to have a chance. Fortunately, we have the power to wake up, to touch enlightenment from moment to moment, in our very own ordinary and, yes, busy lives. So let’s start right now. Peace is your every breath.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

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Soup Solace

It isn’t so much the soup itself that provides solace – though its warming properties and savory sustenance do provide physical comfort – it is the act of making the soup that renders it a practice of peace. When done correctly, a good soup isn’t created instantly – it takes time and care and time and practice and time. Soup is all about time. So are dreary fall mornings when the rain won’t let up, and overcast days are all that’s in the forecast for the next few days. 

Soup has a certain magic to it as well – the way a big pot of plain water can transform into something wondrous with some carrots, celery and onion. A holy trinity indeed. Add a few pieces of chicken (bones and skin for glory), some salt and pepper, and a trio of bay leaves, and you’ve got yourself a perfect fall meal. A slow boil for an hour or so, or maybe more if you like it falling off the bones like I do, and that’s all it takes. As it gently works to extract the flavor and fat from the chicken, and the magic of the bay leaves permeates the liquid as it grows more golden in color, a simple chicken soup takes shape. 

The pocket of time in which it comes together can be used to read or write a blog post or simply ruminate  on the passing of fall. I topped it with some fresh cilantro because that’s my business. Like so and like that.

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Not So Early Autumn

Only Ella Fitzgerald could conjure such a wistful and melancholic portrait of autumn, and it seems right for a rainy autumn day. Or night – this may be too moody for a daytime romp. It requires a darkness not provided by an overcast day. Thankfully, our Thanksgiving cactus is already in early bud, signaling the arrival of earlier nights.

WHEN AN EARLY AUTUMN WALKS THE LAND AND CHILLS THE BREEZE
AND TOUCHES WITH HER HAND THE SUMMER TREES,
PERHAPS YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHAT MEMORIES I OWN.
THERE’S A DANCE PAVILION IN THE RAIN ALL SHUTTERED DOWN,
A WINDING COUNTRY LANE ALL RUSSET BROWN,
A FROSTY WINDOW PANE SHOWS ME A TOWN GROWN LONELY.
THAT SPRING OF OURS THAT STARTED SO APRIL-HEARTED,
SEEMED MADE FOR JUST A BOY AND GIRL.
I NEVER DREAMED, DID YOU, ANY FALL WOULD COME IN VIEW
SO EARLY, EARLY.
DARLING IF YOU CARE, PLEASE, LET ME KNOW,
I’LL MEET YOU ANYWHERE, I MISS YOU SO.
LET’S NEVER HAVE TO SHARE ANOTHER EARLY AUTUMN.

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