Monthly Archives:

June 2017

A Kinky Pride Gala

Tonight’s the night!

The ‘Boots Are Kinky’ Pride Gala – the fabulous and formal kick-off to pride weekend – takes place at the Renaissance Hotel in downtown Albany this evening starting at 6 PM. Tickets can still be purchased here, or you can show up at the door and pay a bit more. Either way, you should donate to the cause – proceeds benefit the GLSEN New York Capital Region Chapter.

People have always turned it out for this event, and I love seeing what everyone does to fit the various themes they’ve had over the years. This time the ‘Kinky Boots‘ angle offers a wealth of possibilities, and I’ve been practicing my high-heel thigh-high strutting. For now, a few more sneak-peek hints of the “groundbreaking” florals I’ll be donning tonight, and you should definitely stop by to see the rest…

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Back in the Pulpit

Behind the dog cages and past the enormous chestnut tree lurked the hidden delights of the little forest at the edge of Suzie’s house. We rarely played that far out because there were so many other places to explore at that sprawling property, but once in a while I would find myself there, wandering alone, pulled by the sound of a distant stream and covered with a green canopy of trees. After breaking through the brush, I felt relief at the hush that descended. The cars speeding down Locust Avenue felt far away. The noise of the dogs softened too. I walked over the soft ground, padded with fallen leaves and the wetness of late spring.

It was here that I stumbled upon my first jack-in-the-pulpit (Arisaema triphyllum). A small mound of them rose up from the surrounding earth, as if someone had dug them up and dropped them there. It is a magical moment when you first see the spathe acting like some dramatic hood, obscuring the hidden phallic spadix, which rises like a grinning secret. I was spellbound.

As an endangered species however, it was not easy to locate these plants for sale, so for many years I forgot about how wondrous they were, content to keep showier flowers that displayed their wares more openly and unabashedly. Then I stumbled upon a jack-in-the-pulpit in one of those plastic mass-produced packages that nurseries and practically every other store on the planet will offer at this time of the year. They’ve never grown for me – the sorry, desiccated, barely-recognizable bare-root is often difficult to discern from the packing material, and no matter how well one prepared the planting hole, it’s always a crap shoot. Regardless, a specimen of Arisaema triphyllum was too tantalizing not to give the $4.99 a try, so I picked one up, plopped it into the shady corner nook of the garden, and promptly forgot about it. Nothing came of it that year, and when winter comes I forget even the most prominent specimens I’ve planted, so it went from my head.

Last year, it must have sent up foliage, as I vaguely recall seeing the distinctive three-leaved sets, and not bothering them for some reason. This year, the leaves came back, and with them this flower.

Jack had risen, and he was beautiful.

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Getting Kinky for Pride

The GLSEN Pride Gala is upon us once again, and as the formal kick-off to Pride Weekend in Albany, it’s always a good time. Past themes have revolved around ‘Alice in Wonderland’, ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s‘ and ‘The Great Gatsby’ but this year they want us to kick it up a notch with a ‘Boots Are Kinky’ theme – based on the Broadway musical about acceptance and “the most beautiful thing in the world” – shoes. I’m all about both, so I plan on attending, as much for supporting a great cause as an excuse to hike myself up in a set of high heels.

Tickets may be purchased here. Hope to see you there!

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Landscaping for Dummies

When we first moved into this house, I felt like the landscaping had been designed from some standard kit that all landscapers in the 80’s used: yews, junipers, a couple of Japanese maples, and some Weigela. With the exception of the maples, I was sick to death of the rest. I quickly dispensed with the overgrown and poorly kept evergreens, and installed a few viburnum (before they became so ubiquitous). As for the Japanese maple and Weigela in the backyard corner, I moved the maple to a more prominent and sunny space, and simply chopped the unruly Weigela down to knee height. As I added a trio of Chinese dogwoods, and the Japanese maple took off with the infusion of light, that corner was mostly hidden from sight, and I only saw the Weigela if I was doing early spring cleaning. If I was feeling generous and kind-hearted (which didn’t happen every year), I’d drop half a bag of manure over its otherwise impoverished soil, and prune the daylights out of it. It always sent out new stems, on which the buds formed.

This past week, something pink and bright caught my eye beyond the emerging blooms of the dogwood: the weigela. Despite general apathy, it survived year after year, throwing out sprays of new stems and foliage and blooms, happy to put on a show even if no one was watching. I admire that kind of perseverance and devil-may-care attitude.

Andy used to have a couple of these at his old house, and having just driven by that place a few days ago, I was reminded of the wonder of the weigela. It may be time to bring it back into vogue, and I recently saw a chartreuse-leaved variety on sale at the nursery. The foliage worked gloriously with the color of the bloom.

Which reminds me – if the season fluctuates in just the right way, you can coax a few blooms out of this shrub intermittently throughout the summer. That sort of surprise bonus deserves a spot in the garden. Now I just need to find one…

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James Franco, Naked As Adam

Selfie-raconteur James Franco is his own living work of art, one of those actors/artists who dabbles in much and forges his own path in the artistic/entertainment world. While I’m not always impressed or even riveted by much of what he does (I will never watch ‘Pineapple Express’ no matter how much certain people beg me to do so), I do get kick a kick out of his antics, particularly the ones where little to no clothing is involved. Our culture’s hang-ups about nudity seem to rise to the surface whenever Franco reveals his own skin, as he did in this striking Annie Leibovitz photograph.

Oddly enough, as in many of Leibovitz’s nude works, I find this less erotic and sexy, despite all the skin and exposure, and more a study of a pose, a gaze, and the human figure. It’s akin to a painting, and the grays and shadows that Liebowitz does so well are in gorgeous effect here. Like Adam, Franco appears poised to make a few mistakes, but he’s one of those stars who gets back up, dusts himself off, and continues on his mischief-making way.

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Just Fresh and Like That

This is the best time to view the garden – just as the peonies and dogwood are coming into bloom, when the ostrich ferns are still at their pristine chartreuse stage, and as the mulch-laden ground forms a uniform backdrop to all the fresh growth. Soon, things will fill in and eliminate some of that spatial openness that I’ve come to appreciate more as I get older. Leaves will turn darker and more leathery. The blush will fade from the rose, literally and figuratively.

For now, though, I sit back and stretch the thigh muscles I’d forgotten I had, after spreading fifteen bags of manure and mulch. Surveying the garden, I take a rare moment to enjoy the present. After some cajoling, Andy has made a pitcher of iced tea. The sun is bright, a rarity this spring, and I’m hot from all the digging. I sip the cool liquid and take it all in. The rain begins a little later, but I’m mostly done with the tasks I set for myself. A small stand of hosta has been planted. A lace-cap hydrangea has been moved. The ostrich ferns have been thinned out.

The falling drops eventually force me inside, but not before I make more plans. A volunteer sedum has taken off in a spot outside the fence, and it’s doing so well I want to transplant it to a more fitting location. Good performance is always rewarded here. I make a mental note to find a better spot for it. The bamboo in the side yard is also doing quite well – it’s the running kind so I put it in the harshest section of our ground, where it sends up a dozen or so new stalks every year. The winters here keep it in check, but I’m still reluctant to have it in the garden or remotely near the pool. Maybe I’ll just throw some manure on it where it is and call it a day. Something still needs to be done with the climbing hydrangea, but it’s to pretty to touch right now, and just coming into bloom. Another mental pin until the beauty passes.

Even in the rain, it’s good to be in the garden.

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Light on a Peony

In the shifting light afforded by our spinning planet, the petals of a peony appear to be different shades. It is just one of the many ways that peonies enchant and enthrall. This variety has more blue tones in it than you can glean from these photos, which read much redder than it is in person. More magic, more floral trickery.

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Baby June Recap

June in its infancy is a magical moment in the calendar year. Everything is fresh and new, and given the rain and cooler temps we’ve had, it’s retained that freshness. The peonies are taking their time to open, and I’m glad. There is a benefit to all this wet stuff (even if I already noticed some mildew starting on their leaves – way too early for that!) On with the Monday morning recap…

Memory of the desert.

Mourning dove in mourning.

Pink silver lining.

Wet but not a mess.

‘Hamilton’ in Chicago.

Easy spritzer.

Turns out I’ve already worn a man-romper.

Doggy-style.

Gus Kenworthy in his underwear.

Smutty Saturday.

The racist jackhole Gideon Yapp, in a post he doesn’t want you to see.

Smutty Sunday.

My upcoming weekend guardian.

 

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BoSox & Bros

Our third annual Boston Red Sox weekend is slated to kick-off this Friday, and though it’s one of the highlights of the season, I’m keeping expectations low, given this year’s penchant for rain and dampening of spirits. Instead of hyping it up, I’m going into it with the twin intents of relaxation and down-time. Skip and I have loosely plotted a soft entry for Friday, unlike last year when we went a bit too hard after the successful and relatively painless installation of a new air conditioner. It turns out that the Gay Pride Parade is Saturday, so we’ll do our best to save our energy for the second day. That night we’ll see the Red Sox do their best to wrangle the Detroit Tigers. In the battle of Detroit versus Boston, who shall prove victorious? We’ll find out…

Time with Skip is always somehow peaceful. We’re good sounding boards for each other when we need to be, but there’s an ease and a relaxed camaraderie in a friendship that’s lasted for a dozen years. There’s also a lot of fun and laughter, and I can indulge in the silliness and ridiculous straight-guy insanity that usually eludes me. Apologies for the GIF you are about to see, but it’s too funny not to share. Imagine this guy and me at a Gay Pride Parade. Boston isn’t ready for this jelly. (I’m not sure if I am either…)

 

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Sunday Smutty Sunday

Following on the heels of a smutty Saturday, here’s a nifty and naked little bookend for your weekend enjoyment. I’ve been working in the garden while the rain held off, but that looks to end for another endless stretch. The heat is on, inside and online. This one kicks off with the  banging bod of Simon Dunn, who made such a splash in his birthday suit a few posts ago. And did it all again for good measure.

Darren Criss and his Speedo are starring in the new Andrew Cunanan story, but something tells me I’ll just wait for the excerpts to come out, a la ‘Magic Mike’. Charlie Carver, of ‘Teen Wolf’ fame, brings the average age of the Hunk of the Day down a few years.

One naked photo of Charlie King is never enough, so I give you these two. King appeared naked here before, and in motion to boot(y).

We have yet to indulge in a proper pool season, but when we do Chris Mears should do so in his Speedo.

Last but not least we have underwear maverick and do-gooder Chris Salvatore, wet in his briefs (or out of them as seen here).

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Do Not Share This Post About Racist Gideon Yapp

His name is Gideon Yapp. Neither he nor his family wants this shared anywhere, which is precisely why I’m doing it. This is a bad week to piss people off, and I’ve had enough. If you’re going to act out like this in public, you don’t deserve forgiveness. Not until you clearly illustrate that you deserve it and have changed and grown. That doesn’t happen in a month or two, so until such time this is the lesson, and here is the video that Gideon Yapp and his family don’t want you to see or share:

Even if you want to think the best of the kid, even if he’s going through something difficult at home, or having a horrible time with some unknown ailment, that still doesn’t forgive this kind of behavior. My best friend lost her father when she was fifteen years old – she came back to school a few days later and never acted like this. Not because she wasn’t upset, not because things didn’t bother her, but because at that age, you know enough about how to behave. Even if you were raised in less-than-ideal circumstances, you still know. And if you genuinely don’t, well, let this be the learning experience and lesson to enlighten you.
Gideon’s father, Robert Yapp, and his soon-to-be-likely-defunct Twitter account, may give further clues as to how this kid was raised and why he’s acting like such a monster. Check out the screen shot I grabbed of his last tweets – they’re lovely:
After the video was posted, Gideon’s brother reportedly sent out requests that it be taken down because it could ruin a young man’s life. Hopefully this does the opposite and saves it. When you see yourself in such a light, when the world reflects an image of yourself from a perspective you clearly don’t always get, that offers the opportunity for change. For improvement. For forgiveness.
Hatred is learned behavior. So is swearing and disrespecting other human beings. So is using the n-word. And anyone who does that is a racist. Sorry Gideon Yapp, if you don’t want people to see you act like a racist, hate-filled asshole, then don’t act like one. You have the power to turn this around – not by pretending it never happened, but by facing the hate within you, examining why you have it, and showing the world that you can change.
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Slightly Smutty Saturday

We continue our adoration and worship of Gus Kenworthy in this smorgasbord of shirtless hunks. Kenworthy just appeared in this space last night, as he has a couple of times before. Today he kicks off a brief collection of semi-clothed gentleman for your Saturday perusal. The weekend wasn’t made for getting too deep. Hunk it up baby!

Nyle DiMarco, what more can we say about Nyle? Better just to feast your eyes upon this, and this. Or this naked Nyle DiMarco post.

Adam Levine caused quite a sensation when he doffed his towel and shook his naked butt here. But it wasn’t the first time he flaunted his body. See here. And here. And here. And here. And here.

When in Las Vegas, the thing to do seems to be to get naked. Witness Prince Harry in his royal birthday suit. Or, as seen here, Olly Murs, another across-the-pond vision of glory, nude in a pool – giving new meaning to the Strip.

Bringing up the rear with his bulging front, here is Ashley Parker Angel, whose Instagram account is one of the hottest things on that app. Proof is in these nude photos.

 

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Gratuitous Friday: Shirtless Gus Kenworthy

Out and proud Olympic athlete Gus Kenworthy has graced these pages before, in his first Hunk of the Day post as well as this gratuitous entry where he bares his well-toned butt. Here he is in some fun and funky underwear, and the shots are practically wholesome (especially when compared to some of the smut we peddle here). There’s something to be said for restraint. And shirtless athletes in their polka-dotted underwear. How refreshing to see that they aren’t mutually exclusive.

 

 

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Doing It Like A Dog

One of my favorite trees is currently coming into (bract) bloom – the Chinese dogwood. Unlike its American cousin, this species sets its flowers on display after the foliage has leafed out. Here are charms to both, though I happen to prefer the later blooming period of these as the weather is usually (ahem) nicer by this point in the year. Clearly that’s not the case this year.

Rain or shine, the blooms are coming on, and after a reasonably mild winter they are happily intact. (Especially frigid seasons will diminish the blooms, which are set by the fall.) I’ve noticed that in the splendid rhododendron plants in the neighborhood too – a mild winter makes for a spectacular floral show.

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The Time I Wore A Bromper

Listen. There are very few fads or trends that I haven’t slapped on my body over the years, and even those to come have probably already been draped across my frame in some way, shape or form. Case in point: the male romper. Man Romper. Bromper. Onesie. Jumpsuit. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve already done it. Circa 1994. Straight (so to speak) out of the International Male catalog (or maybe I’d moved on to Undergear by then). Regardless, been there, done that. [See photo.]

I happen to think it’s a perfectly fine look for pajamas or pool garb. Would I wear it in public at this point? Yes, but only in the abstract sense that I’ll wear just about anything in public. Should anyone do so? That’s not for me to say.

Yet despite the tons of hate being heaped upon this item of clothing, I don’t feel the same stomach-churning angst about it as I do about a pair of crocs or pleated khakis.

It does require a rather perfect body to pull off, however. The slightest paunch is going to be accentuated and framed, front and center. My tummy can’t take such scrutiny right now. But if you’ve got a washboard above your belly button, romp it up. I’m all for a ridiculous trend that you’ll regret in photos twenty years from now. [See also photo.]

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