Yearly Archives:

2015

The heat is on, and it’s not just on the street. It’s absolutely everywhere. Every-fucking-where. Like, there is no escape. It reminds me of a heatwave that swept through Chicago when I visited one summer. It was the kind of sticky heat that soaked you in sweat within minutes of walking outside. It literally took me hours to make it halfway through the Magnificent Mile, as I ducked into every store along the way for the sanctuary of air conditioning. I went into places I never wanted to see – Nine West, Escada, every single bank (because banks are the coolest places in the summer). Foot by foot I padded along in the oppressive Chicago heat, seeking relief wherever it could be found. (Notably in an extended stay within Crate & Barrel, where I think they began to fear I had moved in.) I’ve been in some hot places over the years – the Philippines, San Juan, Miami, and an overheated Volvo on a cross-country jaunt in August – but I’ve never been quite as hot as those few days in a Chicago heatwave.

This week looks to be a hot one here. My ties only last about half the day. My thoughts wander to water, to lapping waves, to a sparkling pool. Everything sweats in this heat. Windows, glasses, grocery bags. We seek out respites of coolness, shadowy spots of relief, and when we find them we pause. Summer has a way of stilling things like that. It’s one of its best secrets.

Though there are only four gifts I am really pining for the most this birthday season, I suppose I should put some filler gift ideas up here for more casual acquaintances and cheap-ass family members, or future friends I have yet to meet but would be glad to do so if they get me one of these beauties. THink of these as stocking-stuffers for the Big 4-0. As always, one can never go wrong with Tom Ford, and while most of his items are beyond the means of many, Gilt offers some of his items at a deep discount. A pair of sunglasses would be absolutely lovely. (And actually cost less than his Private Blend fragrances.)

There’s also my old standby Amazon Wish List, which has been updated and is once again current. Please make generous use of it. And, as I was once reminded of on a wedding invitation no less, money is always the right size and color. See, there’s always someone more crass and classless than me.

How in holy hell did we mange to reach the last week of July already? Karen Carpenter would roll over in her tiny grave if she knew we hadn’t just begun, yet here we are. This ends the leisurely summer weekend phase, since come August 1 I will be officially ‘on tour’ which fortunately is more a state of mind than anything else, but upcoming trips will lend it some credence. Before that, though, this look back at the height of summer.

British actor Danny Walters kept shirtless vigil by the pool.

My birthday wish list was revealed – though a more reasonable one for more casual acquaintances will be posted shortly. Hey, I want EVERYONE to be able to participate.

The soon-to-be classic beefcake pin-ups of tomorrow as seen today.

This pretty survivor is resplendent in pink.

A Dusty Hunk who is equal parts hairy and hot: Dusty St. Amand.

Our 15th anniversary arrived in lovely fashion.

The only kind of cars I can afford to give Andy at the moment are the blog-post kind.

More Tour Promos, as inspired by the great Diana Vreeland.

Currently playing at the Mac-Haydn Theatre: West Side Story.

The Boulevard of broken dreams.

Shirtless hunk Yadier Rodriguez.

Is Grindr cheating us of our destinies?

Big, bodacious & beautiful Ben Cohen.

The great Diana Vreeland plays a major inspirational role in the creation of the new Tour Book. Her love of a super-saturated red, for example, informs the color palette for the book. Sometimes I catch myself trying to tone things down for certain events (weddings and what-not) but Ms. Vreeland never did that. At work, I don’t do that either, hence this Cynthia Crowley folder design that decorates the office with a punch of color. (I have a matching pencil holder and clips to go with it.) There is something to be said for the softer, subtler entrance – but embarking upon one’s Final Tour is neither the time nor place for quietude and gentleness. Instead, I am hitting hard and bold, and living up to the dramatic name I’ve created. It may not be real, but it’s fitting for this last time.

To live as unapologetically and unabashedly as Ms. Vreeland and Ms. Crowley, embracing one’s love for powerful hues and anything-but-delicate color is a lesson in fortitude, strength, self-expression, and pride. It is the power to be so completely yourself that confidence comes as second nature. If you project something long enough, it eventually comes to be, whether you believe in it or not. The opposite proves true too, which means that habit can be dangerous, and stagnation may only breed further stagnation. Once a rut finds footing, it’s difficult to change the path. But not impossible.

I’ve done it.

And I’ll do it again. One final time.

The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star

The curtain goes up August 1, 2015

Kindly take your seats…

Go to the wood and bring me back…

This August will see me turning 40 years old. While some may see no reason in celebrating such a milestone (and I may be one of them) I’ll be damned if I don’t take advantage of the once-in-a-lifetime moment and put forth a wish list worthy of such a fat number. This one is for my parents and husband, who, when left to their own devices, do their best but occasionally miss the mark when it comes to gift ideas. As in so many other arenas of my life, guessing what I might like for a present is dangerously difficult territory. I know this, I acknowledge this, and I apologize for it. Let this wish list go some way toward alleviating the pressure and the guess-work. (And they say I don’t care!)

First up is the most elusive and difficult to find. As of now, it is completely sold out everywhere, but whispers of it on ebay have reached my ears, and “if you want something badly enough the whole world conspires to help you get it.” These are the gorgeous  Jeremy Scott Adidas Wings 3.0 “Gold”, Size 9.5 or 10 designed by the brilliant Jeremy Scott (I will make either size work for a thing of such beauty.) Being the hardest to procure, by natural design they are the ones I want the most. If anything would mark my 40^th in a special way, these golden wings would be it. (Again, Size 9.5 or 10 would work, and these are not to be mistaken for similar wing-tips that Mr. Scott has produced – these are the ADIDAS JEREMY SCOTT WINGS 3.0 GOLD SNEAKERS. No substitutes or frauds.

Second, as if on cue, Tom Ford is about to release a new Private Blend – Venetian Bergamot – and on paper it combines two of my favorite things: Tom Ford and bergamot. The former has long been a bastion of this blog, and the latter has been a favorite scent of mine for years. We won’t even get into the fascination and allure that Venice holds. (Surely you remember ‘The Venetian Vanity Ball’ we threw in 2005?) Another sign that this one is meant to be: according to Neiman Marcus, it will be shipped out on my actual birthday, August 24. Thank you, Tom Ford.

Third, a wish of a whiff from across the pond comes courtesy of British gent Richard E. Grant and his ‘Jack’ fragrance. Cries for the Union are answered in this delicious cologne, which feels perfect for the march from summer into fall, and I like to set these things up early.

Finally, given that I’m about to go on my final tour, just send me somewhere fun and far. San Francisco, London, Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles – all would be welcome and fitting jaunts for The Delusional Grandeur Tour. It will be my very last stand, commemorated by my 40^th birthday, and a guaranteed something to remember.

Bring me these before the chime of midnight…

Henry James thought that there was no finer pair of words than ‘summer afternoon’ – but, as I often do with his writing, I also take issue with that statement. ‘Summer weekend’ has a much lovelier ring to it. This past one was just about perfect in every way. Our house was filled with dear old friends, and some youngsters, the weather was sunny and hot, and the pool was a perfect 85 degrees. I didn’t want it to end. None of us wanted it to end. Yet that is the very thing that makes a memory most happy. One last look back over the week that led up to it.

A bit of lace, fit for a queen, came in the form of this classic summer flower.

An unorthodox choice for Hunk of the Day, James Corden proves that Hunkdom comes in all shapes and sizes.

A more traditional Hunk was gay Australian bob-sledder Simon Dunn.

As we near August, we approach my 40th birthday. For better or worse…

Speaking of which, here’s an entry for my upcoming birthday wish list: Jack cologne by Richard E. Grant.

Derek Yates was crowned for a second time, while Scotty Dynamo and Danny Perez, Jr. popped their Hunk cherries.

Cuteness to the extreme.

My half-naked turn as the naked chef.

The promotional push for the New Tour ~ ahem, the Final Tour ~ began in earnest.

This shall be The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star.

And you will Surrender.