Yearly Archives:

2015

The greatest of journeys often begin in the darkest of places.

Dante knew this.

He also knew that the darkest of places are often the most intriguing.

Here, a hint of the road ahead, with shadows of a sinister character – the stuff of nightmares and horror movies, stuff of childhood terrors, stuff that goes bump in the night.

The darkness on the approaching edge of evening, the stiff breeze that portends change to come, the elegant wisp of smoke curling from some devil’s lips – these are the shadows that foretell of transformation.

Do not be afraid, though your heart tells you otherwise. Do not draw back, as fear proves more hospitable for him. Do not run away, because it’s the only way out.

We will battle the bunny. We will exorcize the demons. We will wage war with the world that created us.

Recommended by a FaceBook friend, this Natalia Kills song is a fitting accompaniment to these bunny photos, and it’s as cheeky a choice as any for the bad rabbits of the world.

We’re the kids your momma warned you about

We’re the kids your momma warned you about

Drive fast, roll tight, ride hard all night

We’re the kids your momma warned you about

We’re the kids your momma warned you about

Drive fast, roll tight, ride hard all night

‘Cause I eat boys like a cannibal,
Fuck hard, howl at the moon like an animal,
Eat me, drink me, straight down the rabbit hole
White lines, white lies, straight down the rabbit hole

When I fall in love, I fall down the rabbit hole
Down the rabbit hole, down the rabbit hole
Fall in love, I fall down the rabbit hole
Down the rabbit hole

When I fall in love, I fall down the rabbit hole
Down the rabbit hole, down the rabbit hole
Fall in love, I fall down the rabbit hole
Follow me down the rabbit hole…

Of course, there’s also the original ‘White Rabbit’ by Jefferson Airplane, with imagery that conjures Alice in Wonderland. Rich source material indeed, even if its author was super-creepy and questionable of moral turpitude.

One pill makes you larger,

and one pill makes you small

And the ones that mother gives you,

don’t do anything at all

Go ask Alice, when she’s ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you’re going to fall

Tell ’em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call

And call Alice, when she was just small

When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you’ve just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low

Go ask Alice, I think she’ll know

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen’s off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head…

Both are escapes, both take us to places of dreams – and sometimes nightmares – and the journey is always a doozy. Take that journey with me this year ~ The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star. Upcoming stops include Boston, Cape Cod and Seattle…

I feel you. Yes, you. Out there, in the dark, holding up your lighters and your phones and all the hope in the world. You lift me up, you give me power, you give me glory. Arms outstretched, arms welcoming the sky, arms welcoming the night, the moon, the stars and the sun again.

I feel you. You, shouting my name, shouting for more, shouting like your life depends on it. You scream the lifeblood of mercy. You scream for redemption, for all the unredeemable things we’ve done. You scream to feel again. I scream back.

And I still feel you. Waves of adoration like love lapping at the shore of the spotlight. Riotous applause and raucous cheers, all that excitement feeding on itself, a frenzy of grasping hands, desperate grabs for a piece of it, ravenous appetites and the morsel of a wink and smile.

Do you feel it? In the air, in the night wind, in the height of summer, and the sprawling year before another summer arrives?

Listen for it. Wait for it. Prepare for it.

Star-fucked vainglory.

Delusions of grandeur.

Absolute annihilation.

The very last time.

THE DELUSIONAL GRANDEUR TOUR: LAST STAND OF A ROCK STAR

PREAMBLE:

It begins with a girl dancing. The choreographed abandon is limited only by the pastel confines of her bedroom. ‘Baba O’Riley’ is blasting over the stereo, and the girl thrashes wildly in carefully-executed movements. You’d almost think it was unstaged, yet this is practice. Each motion is deliberate. Each exercise is calculated. Each toss of her hair absolutely planned. The end result, though, is the look of sheer unbridled wildness, a thrashing of controlled chaos. She would make the world think she had lost control, and she’d hold that world in the palm of her hand.

She spins round and round, jumping up and down, while those iconic guitar chords herald the arrival of something magnificent. She mouths the words, ‘Teenage wasteland,’ and stops. It won’t work. It won’t be enough. She looks in the mirror as the music plays. She pulls off her blouse, tugs her skirt down, and stands there in a bra and underwear. As the familiar musical progression sounds again, she modifies her movements now that she is free from the binds of her Catholic school-girl uniform. It is at that moment when she realizes what must be done.

A pounding on the door, and then the sharp words of her father: ‘Madonna, get ready for school.’

The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star

Once

upon

a

time…

Once

upon

a

dream…

A dream is a wish…

Dream away…

Dream dream dream…

But if I know you, I know what you’ll do

You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

But if I know you, I know what you’ll do

You’ll love me at once

The way you did once upon a dream

– Jack Lawrence

The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star

Kindly take your seats, and hold onto your hats.

This is The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star

The title is both facetious (I’m not really a Rock Star, duh) and prophetically accurate (I am delusional, and grand). As the Tour goes on, you’ll see that something deeper is at work, and it’s the culmination of all the other tours that came before this one, neatly tying things up with one of the boldest confessions I’ve made. It wasn’t an easy journey, and there may not be a happy ending, but there is magic to be found along the way, and the sort of enchantment that only comes from taking a trip together.

Let’s begin with a tease of what’s to come:

The Table of Contents

• 1) INTRO/CURTAIN
• 2) SUNSET POOL
• 3) ON THE ROAD HOTEL
• 4) ROCK STAR ADDICT
• 5) ANIMAL DEMONS
• 6) STEAM PUNK BIRDCAGE
• 7) RED RIDING WOOD
• 8) WINTER TOP HAT
• 9) WARRIOR RETRIBUTION
• 10) GLAMOUR FASHION
• 11) SAMSARA HEALING WATER
• 12) SPRING SALVATION
• 13) FLOWER BOMB BALM

As the curtain rises this one final time, I invite you to come along for the ride.

Something special is in the offing,

something poignant rides on this wind,

and something tells me this is going to be the best one of them all.

The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star

Tomorrow marks the kick-off to The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star. To celebrate, we’re having a few people over for a little gathering, a smaller more-intimate vibe to open things up. Such a ‘soft opening’ is a lady-like dipping of my toes into the touring pool, a gingerly testing of the water so to speak. I’ll open hard in Boston and Cape Cod a few weeks later, but for now we begin at home. The way the Delusional Grandeur Tour posts will work is that whenever I go somewhere, I’ll post a few more pages from the Tour Book, along with more expansive photos that weren’t included. In other words, don’t fret if you don’t get to see the Tour Book in person – you’ll get to see much more right here. (Of course if you want your own hard copy, I may be putting up a misprinted version for sale – one of the pages is out of order but otherwise it’s practically perfect. Inquire directly if you are seriously interested. Or look for it on eBay one of these days.)

In between the official Tour Book posts will be the Tour Stop posts, in which I’ll regale you with tales from the road. (In essence, it will be the same shit I post here whenever I go away, simply marked under the umbrage of a ‘tour’. Hence the ‘Delusional’ aspect of just about everything you will see here.)

Basically, we’re going to do this tour together, you and I. Come along for the ride, if you would. The road is far less lonelier that way.